Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. What can I say, I thought it was time for a lame RPG-based pun title. Don't say we didn't warn you.

It's Friday, and for once I should have the weekend free to put a serious dent in Legend of Mana. Looking forward to that.

Otherwise, not a lot to say, and not a lot of gaming news to talk about. But hey, those screen shots of MGS2 looked pretty slick.

Onward.

Foolish Gamer. Your ineptitude in rumor-mongering is revealed in the details of your story. It's quite possible Microsoft would purchase Martha Stewart to give a tasteful, WASP-y feel to its products. However, Martha Stewart would not design the X-Box with macaroni, but rather with fine fabrics and enamels. The packaging would include fresh fallen autumn leaves for a  lovely potpourri scent. And all the games would come in a woven wicker jewel case that would also serve as an exciting conversation piece.

God, that woman turns me on.

Anti-aliasing isn't the end all be all of great graphics, you're right. In fact, there are several excellent games which look great, but could use more anti-aliasing themselves. Soul Calibur has a few rough edges here and there, even on VGA.

But the question is not if the odd gun edge will look off, but if there's gonna be a jagged seam where Snake's head and his torso overlap, etc. Any such imperfections would have the effect of shattering the overall effect of the graphics, especially when the package was seen in motion. At least, that's how the small bit of TTT I saw played out.

However, I still say Kojima's going to be able to take advantage of the year or so he has left to develop the game and make sure some minimal form of anti-aliasing is put in. Heck, he may have already, and I wouldn't know about it because I haven't seen any full-res footage yet. Have faith people, Kojima may yet rock our world. And hopefully in other ways than giving Snake a tight butt.

AK has seniority over me. Hell, he founded the RPG online letters column idea. He's smart, and funny, and I'm certain he'll be remembered in the industry when I'm long forgotten. He may even still be doing a weekend column at that time.

But at times like these, I gotta wonder if he's really all there, you know?

I did something similar, though not to the same degree. I equipped my first set of weapons, no problem, but when I bought my second set in the first port town I forgot to equip them. I did wonder why the epee had no sword graphic, but not after until I had beaten the pirates. Live and learn, I suppose.

You're not correcting me - I gave the much the same explanation in Wednesday's column. But I like your theory about the Pumpkins breaking up, although this does raise some interesting philosophical questions. For example, does this mean God is truly benevolent? I mean, wouldn't a truly just God smite Britney Spears instead? Or the Backstreet Boys? Or is all this some divine plan to show nothing mortal that is good can endure? And why didn't divine inspiration strike Nobuo Uematsu and cause him to work jointly with Billy Corrigan on the next Final Fantasy soundtrack?

Such answers unfortunately were not meant for our tiny human brains.

That's certainly an original idea regarding multiple personalities you've got there, Jemmy. I mean, I would have never thought of that idea, not in a million years.  I certainly wouldn't have gone so far as to make reference to it in the title to Monday's column, or in my response to herr kahn's letter in the Arch Nemesis contest. Nope, not me, I'm just not that bright.

(I'm fairly certain that Jemmy's considerably smarter than me, and is even now coming up with some diabolical scheme of vengeance. So I hope you all appreciate that humble attempt to mock a submission, because it may be the last I ever do.)

As for BFM, again, this was something I myself have been guilty of. I figured it out soon after getting the first scroll, but it was a relatively new idea at the time, and like I said, I'm not that bright.

I'm proud to say I saw Transformers: The Movie in theaters on opening night. Transformers were my primary obsession before I discovered Nintendo, whereupon they vanished from my perceptions as if they'd never been. However, I haven't seen it since, and I won't rent or buy the new Kid Rhino release since I think it's been subtly cut - a few curse words here and there. Nothing major, but I'd like my memories of the film to remain pure, if faded. And yes, Al gets bonus points for being associated with that film in some small way, but it still doesn't make up for the Pokemon movie. On the other hand, if "Polkamon" is as good as "The Saga Begins", I may forgive him.

There are so many trite ways to answer your last question: "I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." "Wouldn't you like to know?" "You wouldn't believe me if I told you." But I can't pick just one, sorry.

Don't play, watch, or care about wrestling, so I'll let that go by. On the other hand, I'm getting your second question a lot, so I'll make it quick - set attacks to specific buttons in the combo menu. Just when Ashley's weapon hits the enemy, push one of the buttons. (Takes some practice, but not much.) This will cause a chain attack. Ashley will then swing again, and again, push one of the buttons just as the weapon hits. As long as you don't use the same button twice in a row, you can do this indefinitely as long as your timing's good. Of course, it raises risk, which lowers your chance of connecting an attack, but dealing with risk is another issue entirely.

A few more hints: for most weapons, Ashley has a quick swing and a slow swing, which are predictable with some practice. The important thing to remember with the slow swing is not to push the button until Ashley begins to move the weapon again after holding it still. Also, if an attack was not successful with the first hit, subsequent chains will just raise risk without causing damage, so just abort entirely if you missed.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Closing Comments:

I'm going to go home and play Mana until I start seeing the world in the form of flat, colorfully animated sprites. At that point I'll take my two-handed sword and start going off on magical, mystical side-quests, and probably die a horrible death when I mistake an oncoming 18-wheeler for some sort of steam-powered mecha boss. But man, what a way to go!

Talk to you Monday.

-Chris Jones, already assigned to FF XXVII