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Rants make for interesting reading - December 3rd, 1999 - Andrew Kaufmann
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. Alexander Graham Bell deserves mad props for inventing the telephone. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say we didn't warn you. Man, how many days in a row is it now that I've done the column? This is weird. I'm low on thoughts... I usually use them all up on weekends, and it takes me all week to formulate new ones. As many of you will recall, the last two days have included statements from GIA members. Tonight, the trend continues, mainly because it saves me the trouble of having to write an introduction. Andrew Vestal has something he'd like to say, so here it is. Let's talk about Sega's massive enigma, Shen Mue. I don't know about you guys, but I think Shen Mue is going to be an absolute bust. Don't get me wrong, the game is absolutely gorgeous. The graphics are top notch, and the soundtrack is one of my personal favorite VG musics. But unless Sega is carefully hiding it under a rock somewhere, there's no gameplay to speak of. Left, right, left, left, A, right ... this is fun? Sure, you can buy Cokes, rescue kitties, and drive forklifts, but all none of those things sound enjoyable. I think that Shen Mue will be a marvelous artistic achievement and an incredibly realized world. But as a game? Ah, na na. I'd also like to apologize for the lack of a Holiday Game Guide on the GIA. We thought about linking to a poorly edited Holiday Game Guide that we didn't contribute to on some other site, but thought better of it at the last moment. GIA readers are intelligent; buy whatevever buy whatever games YOU want, we don't care!
Uh, oh... Stefano has figured out our secret. Many GIA members are not only double double agents, but triple double agents. Or something along those lines, anyway. Anyway, we do have big plans for world domination, and they include not only Sluggy Freelance and video games but also watermelons and the Senate race in New York. Frightening, isn't it?
That's not on the usual list of criteria for being declared a man, but what the heck, you're a bud so I'll go ahead and declare you one anyway. Congrats on becoming a man, Ian! And I don't know about you, but I'd give money to see a fight between Drew Carey and just about anyone, not just the creator of the Sega Genesis.
Thanks for the congrats, Wulfgang! I really do appreciate them. As for being topic-less, I kind of like it. It gives you guys a chance to just free associate and plop into email whatever pleases your little fingers. I COULD provide a topic... but hey, let's just relax and ask questions that need to be answered. We're free thinkers! We don't need a topic!
I have a vague sense of what the lyrics are saying (vague as in, I recognize about half of the words but can't really turn them into coherent concepts). If there are any Portugese stud muffins out there, drop a line. You won't be able to buy stock in GIA very soon, unfortunately, but you can do the next best thing! Just send me some cash, and I'll do something cool with it. And maybe one day I'll even give the money back! But then again, maybe not. You never know what those crazy stocks and stocklike things will do. As for the guy passing on the $500,000 question, I was quite frankly proud of the guy. It gives me some hope that society hasn't been completely taken over by that silly little yellow fuzzball. Sure, he lost a lot of cash, but in my eyes he saved his dignity.
Man, what a bummer. That game had such a cool concept. I really thought the game was going to be a hit. Of course, I said the same thing for Saga Frontier, so what do I know.
Of course not! Now, much of society might find it nerdy, but music is a really personal thing. Each brain reacts to the sound waves differently. Yours reacts positively to the instrumental melodies in video games, while other people's reacts positively to the energetic vocals of a lead singer backed by grinding guitars and a ferocious beat. In AK-World, no one is criticized (much) for their choice in music. Of course, the rest of the world is a bit different. Don't feel forced to conform to everyone, though. Anyone can be a well-liked person but remain unique in their preferences.
I'm glad you've enjoyed the column, Steve! Xenogears isn't my bag of expertise, so I won't pretend to know how accurate your letter or yesterday's letters are. You sound pretty confident though, and it looks close enough to something believable, so I'll go out on a limb and say you're probably right. And I do plan on winning Xenogears one day... I still have it sitting on my shelf. Time is just so hard to come by, you know? Closing Comments More letters coming tomorrow. I'm not going to set a topic or anything, just read and write about what comes to mind. You can do it! -Andrew Kaufmann |
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