Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. Waxy saxophones in flux are foxy. The letter x is a really underused letter, I thought I'd give it some action. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Here it is, another column. The first couple of letters have Xenogears spoilers, so be careful as you read.

Yesterday, the column opened with a prepared statement from Drew. Today, we have a prepared statement from Nich Maragos. Might as well print it!

Good evening. I'm here to talk about a dream I had last night. Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, and Zell were reenacting the "band" minigame scene from Final Fantasy 8, but all of a sudden, in walked Michie, Atsuko, and Naoko of Shonen Knife. Suddenly the band minigame became a sort of weird variation on Um Jammer Lammy-type rhythm games, with the two bands trying to outdo each other. I forgot who won, but when the time came to start the cutscene between Rinoa and Squall, Fujin was there in Rinoa's place and nothing happened, because neither was able to really express their feelings. So Squall kind of wandered off as usual and found himself back at the classroom, where he remembered he had a Java assignment due the next day. For the next half-hour of my dream, he just sat there at his computer desk coding. That's where it ended. Thanks for listening to my dream story.

Sounds like a pair of solid theories to me. Here's a cookie for your thoughts.

Sounds just as solid as in the previous letter. A cracker for your thoughts.

Well, see, I'm rationing myself. I only read about 10 days of the archives per day, or so. This way, I stretch out my enjoyment of the comic for as long as possible. But 821 strips is a lot for 4 days. I'm impressed.

No comment on Storm Breaker Saga... I'm not that far yet. But Zoe rocks me.

Dude, I'll have to disagree with you pretty heartily here. Anime is cool, but it's not the coolest thing ever. Toy Story has proven that CG movies can be not only successful in the box office but critcally acclaimed.

The FF Anime didn't sell particularly well, and your letter is the first example that I've seen that lauds FF Anime. Princess Mononoke is doing well in its limited release, but I've never heard of Akira being considered anything close to a blockbuster.

I don't think the format of the FF Movie will affect its quality. Square has shown they can be successful in any medium they dedicate themselves to, and the FF Movie has been one of their most drawn-out projects. I predict greatness.

I'll start off by saying that the GIA prefers to remain neutral on campaigns for games. We prefer to report the news, rather than try to make it. General policy thing.

On a related note, I'm sure to step on a few toes here but I thought Persona was pretty weak. It does have a pretty big following, though, so it might make it to the U.S. Hard to tell at this point.

Rather than throw out your PlayStation, though, why not give it to a friend as a Christmas gift? I'm sure he or she would appreciate it.

As far as us being in charge of Sony, Nintendo, and Sega, you're sort of right. We have them all in tow, but we sold Nintendo recently. We turned such a nice profit, I was able to buy a few new guitars.

Racing Lagoon was released in Japan, but more or less flopped and isn't coming to the U.S. A shame, too, because the game was a cool concept, I thought. I guess Square just didn't execute it well enough.

As for Kartia, the GIA's Fritz Fraundorf has played it, and says it has a really good plot. It isn't very challenging, however. Overall, he calls it good but short of outstanding.

Closing Comments

In closing, I'd like to toot my own horn a bit, just, well, because I have a huge ego and I need to feed it every so often. The January 2000 issue of the Official Dreamcast Magazine is out, and I have a review of NBA Showtime in it. If you weren't going to buy the magazine, don't run out and buy it, because the review isn't that exciting. But if you have a subscription or normally buy it, check it out! I took the screen shots, too! It's my first time to be published in a magazine, and it's pretty exciting. Pardon me for babbling.

-Andrew Kaufmann