Column of the Living Dead - October 22nd, 1999 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Are you going to eat the rest of that? Don't say that I didn't warn you.
RPGs: you love them, and so do I. We play them, we read about them, we talk about them, and they're always the primary focus of the column. Well, guess what? Today's topic isn't devoted exclusively to RPGs. I'm just such a devilish and mischievous lad. Rather, I asked you what your opinions were are on the two upcoming additions to the ever-growing Resident Evil family.
With Code Veronica coming out for the Dreamcast and Resident Evil 3 for the Playstation, Survival Horror fans have plenty to look forward to. However, what about those who never really cared for the series? Will there be anything in these new titles to pursuade them into feeling otherwise? Or is Capcom shoveling a bit more shit from the same pile on top of our heads? Of course, there are other facets to be considered that are addressed in today's column, but that's the basic gist of it.
| That would certainly concern me |
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To Whom it May Concern:
Personnally I think that square could pull off having deep characters with
backstorys even with 40+ characters. Personnally I would love to see the
backstory for Lucky Dan. I believe it would go somewhere along the lines of
a mob hit on Dan's family and in that battle he lost his entire family but he
lived and was called "Lucky" Dan as he hunted down all criminals with
ruthless vengence. Wait that's Punisher. Oh well it should be good anyways.
-Figure Four
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I'd be interested to see why Dan would consider himself to be lucky, as well. From where I'm standing, he has a nail through his chest, and a pair of candles balanced precariously atop his highly flammable head. Not exactly a situation I'd like to be in, personally. Lloyd's of London wouldn't even cut this guy a policy.
Perhaps at one time he'd discovered a twenty dollar bill lying on the ground, to be called "Lucky Dan" by a nearby acquaintence, and the nickname stuck. Who knows. Maybe he uses the fact that he has a stinking railroad spike through his chest to gain sympathy from women he meets at local dives, and then takes them home for his own special brand of loving.
| Your daily dose of P. |
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I really get tired of trying to think up witty original greetings. Now I
know what it's like to write the opening comments.
Some CC speculations...
I've watched the trailer a couple dozen times now, inching through it
frame by frame at times and come to a few conclusions. First off, note
that in the FMV shown, there are no other characters besides the main
ones. Now this supports the theory that your party is going to be
interchangable at any given time, which further supports the theory of
having a pool of characters to choose from to interchange at any given
time. No shocker there, but it says that CC isn't going to stray to far
from the CT Formula.
Now another venture I'd make is this: I'd bet my little brother that
Square is pushing to make the Chrono title one of thier flagship series.
You simply don't put that much into a game unless you're planning on
supporting it heavily in the future. Am I right?
That said, I take back what I hypothesised in my last letter: I *can*
imagine Square going for a 40 party system. Now another thing CT was
known for was the New Game+ option. Using a similar system I imagine
you'll be able to unlock more secrets the more you play, and perhaps
unlock more characters, building a larger and larger pool of characters.
*Another* thing CT was known for was it's multiple endings. And
considering Square likes to lay the FMV on thick for their endings, I
have to wonder if CC will have multiples. If so, how many? It's only
going to have two CDs or so I hear, and I certainly wouldn't want
another game to suffer from the XG2CD syndrome.
The author of this letter is protected by the standard "I'm just
guessing" disclaimer and may not be told 'You were wrong' by any person
at anytime regarding said letter.
~Ian P.
P.S. If CC turns out to be the way Parish said...I am *so* buying it.
P.S.S. I own Resident Evil: Directors Cut. I don't like it that much,
really. So yes, I'm looking forward to a better versions. Teehee.
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Any good sequel will retain the more popular and innovative aspects of its predecessor, while improving and tweaking them where necessary. The New Game+ mode revealed upon the completion of Chrono Trigger was an excellent way to keep players coming back for more without stretching the adventure and storyline out to the point where they become a lesson in tedium.
It seems a natural and logical addition to make the new party members available when playing through the game another time using some equivalent to the New Game+ mode. However, if the characters can only be discovered after playing the game through once, you'd have to wonder how interesting they'd be. After all, they must not be particularly important if the storyline doesn't require their presence in your party the first time through.
| Staying alive |
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Hello. You're no doubt wondering why the hell I bothered to
send this but the record must be kept clear. Lucky Dan is my
big brother, and for your information he's not a 'headless
scarecrow' and he isn't wearing a flashlight. He's a voodoo
doll. That's a nail pounded into his chest. And about his
being a body double in Disco Fever, it's just that at the
time he was really young and he needed the money. He didn't
know any better, all right? Quit bugging my family! Haven't
we suffered enough?
-Fortuitous Trixie (of the Mazel Tov Voodoo People)
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Juding by his appearance, I would be inclined to agree that Lucky Dan is probably a voodoo doll of some sort. And that's certainly a shining example of normality. I'm certainly curious to find out what kind of storyline Chrono Cross has to work in a sentient voodoo doll. Maybe the entire plot is like Pee Wee's Playhouse. Talking furniture, a secret word that changes by the day; the whole ball of wax.
| The fingers you have used to dial are too fat |
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Hey Drew, I agree with you that there should be a power button on the controller. But perhaps not a single button, but a button combination. How many times have you dropped your controller because you were madly shoveling potato chips down your throat, and consuming your 8th beer all at the same time trying to beat that tough boss. I know I have. You know how some games can be reset by pressing all four shoulder buttons plus start and select. Do a thing like that to turn the power off. (and make that reset thing on all games too while you're at it.)
-SuperFly Chady Snuka
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There's nothing more frustrating than trying to eat, drink, read a strategy guide, and play a game all at the same time, only to have the controller slip off of my lap. All I'm trying to do is assassinate my heart with potato chip grease and Pepsi, and I can't even do that without having to expend energy by bending over to pick up an obstinate controller.
Sadly, as I continue to cram food down my throat while gaming, it seems that my lap continues to shrink at an alarming rate, making these incidents all the more common. I'd make an appointment to have this checked up on, but my legs can no longer support my own weight, and my telephone is just out of reach. I've also noticed that I've begun to have difficulty pressing only one button at a time, and I can no longer fit my hands into the grooves of a Dreamcast controller.
Neighbors have begun to complain of the stench, but I don't see them rushing over to drag me to the bathroom.
| Sequelia |
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Hi Drew
I think RE: Code Veronica isn't a spin-off-like title for nothing. Capcom
want the major RE titles to be released on PSX right now since it's the most
popular console so far, so they make a spin-off for the DC instead of
continuing the actual story. I'm not sure but I doubt that if you never play
RE:CV you'll miss anything really important from the main story unless
Capcom is planning to make RE:CV for PSX/PS2 also. They just don't want
people to get "off" RE because they missed a part of the story, so instead
they make a complemantary title. You'll probably have some more info if you
play RE:CV, but probably things which would be told in the upcomming RE
games.
As for Capcom's make-a-game-and-a-sequel-almost-excactly-like the-first-one
style, I think it's not that bad since they do make good titles most of the
time. Dino Crisis might have been to much about looking for keys to open
doors and could have been a lot better, but then again it shouldn't be
ignored because of already existing titles that look-a-like. But there's one
thing about Breath Of Fire that I'd like to see. A completely different
world in each titles of the serie. Ryu and Nina are always there and also
some other elements, so I think it would be nice to see them in different
worlds. Exemple a gothic world, a ancient-astronaut-like world where there
is a mix of alien technology and premitive technology. Just different things
like that which would make the games a lot more different in their settings
and I'm sure people would welcome that.
-Phil
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Actually, the storyline in Code Veronica is very much an integral part of the Resident Evil epic. Playing Resident Evil 2 to completion reveals that Code Veronica's plot is the true follow up - even moreso than Resident Evil 3, which takes place during the same time period as part II does, opting to chronicle the adventures of a different cast of characters. It would seem to be more of a side story than a sequel, especially when you take into consideration the fact that it is extremely similar in the way that it looks and plays to the previous two titles in the series.
Both technologically and chronologically, CV is most certainly a sequel.
| Locked out |
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As a fan of the Reisdent Evil series, I sincerely hope that the story truly
expands. I'd hate to see too strong a focus on the older characters over
multiple games. Of course, I've always found the story to be somewhat
secondary to the sheer enjoyment of dismembering zombies with various weapons
of destruction.
I'd also like to see Capcom give up on their anti-MOD lockout. If they put
that sort of crap on the upcoming RE games, I WON'T buy them. Even if I
decide to get a gameshark to play the games, I certainly won't be giving
Capcom any money for them. If they put the lockout on, they obviously don't
want MY money in the first place. >:-}
-Tony Patino
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I hate to be tbe bearer of bad news, but if you intend on boycotting all titles featuring mod chip protection, you may as well just take your Playstation around back and toss it into the trash can. Nearly all of the major upcoming releases feature some form of protection against chipping.
| The danger of innovation |
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Drew,
Based off of the RE3 demo that comes with Dino Crisis, I wouldn't say it'll be a gigantic evolution of the series. Seriously, this is Capcom. They're notorious for making an earth-shattering game, then continuously releasing sequels with minor improvements. Whereas, yes, if the original is good then an improved sequel is better, there's also nothing about RE2 that made my head spin. At least nothing that wasn't originally implimented in the original and then improved upon. That's good and bad. If you're a fan of the Megaman series, then you'll probably like MM1 through MM8. If you detested the series, then chances are no sequel is going to sway your opinion.
But back to the point. Haven't checked out Code Veronica at all (been apathetic about the series lately) but I've played the RE3 demo. It's nice and is just as creepy as the other two were. A cool thing were the machine gun. One feature I really liked is the staple of the sequel, the fact that Nemesis can burst through at any point in the game. That was RE/2's biggest problem, IMO. I got pretty bored with RE just because of all of the running around, back and forth, after everything was cleared out. It's nice to see that change, and definately added a new dimension to the game. But... other than that... it's REv1.3... Capcom-style. :)
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If there's one thing that Capcom knows how to do, it's to keep a steady audience for a particular franchise. If you disliked the first two titles in the Resident Evil series, it's doubtful that you'll enjoy RE3. Especially since RE3's difficulty level is aimed at the more seasoned Resident Evil veterans.
Whenever a company implements drastic changes with a sequel, they risk losing the group who enjoyed the first title. And when the first title sold millions of copies, that's not something most companies are particularly anxious to do. This is one area where Square deserves to be given credit. Final Fantasy is by far its most lucrative franchise, both commercially and critically, despite the fact that the titles in the series bear very little resemblance to one another.
| How to fix everything |
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To GilgaDrew;
Yo.
Okay, your topic for the day/week/whenever was RE3, and how I'd keep the
series fresh. There was some other stuff, but who cares about the details?
Anyway.
If I was at the core of the RE series, I'd make it so you could find the
secret Micheal Jackson character. Thus, when the zombies attacked, you could
use the Master Thriller! weapon and dance the zombies into oblivion.
ALSO, I'd make the Tofu Avenger (one of the secret hidden super hard to get
characters of RE2 PSX) a recurring main character. I mean, who the hell
cares about Chris Redfield?? I wanna see bean curd run around and stab
people. And isn't that what EVERY red-blooded American wants? To see bean
curd go postal? (The answer is YES, in case you were wondering.)
Plus, I'd make all the CG scenes feature unnecessary story dialouge between
main characters (such as Tofu and Mr. Thriller), in which their endless love
for each other is slowly but dramatically revealed.
And I'd add midget zombies. I mean, the midgets need to be equally
represented! I have yet to see one midget in a video game! And I don't mean
no Super-Deformed anime-style characters either - I mean the REAL THING.
Mini-Me, undead style. They could bite at your knees or something.
Oh - and female characters would have skimpier costumes. Just because. And
every character'd be named Mohammad. And Nemesis would wear an orange mumu.
What? You don't think it'd be a good game?
-Imp Mayhem
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I think that it's also high time for some more creative arsenal in the Resident Evil series, as well. I've had it with these weak handguns and shotguns; let's get some missile launchers, tanks, homing sheep, and atomic bombs. And what's with these zombies? Was everybody in racoon city the same height and weight? Let's get some fat zombies. I mean freaking huge zombies. Ones that sit propped up against the wall of a building throwing garbage at you as you run past in hopes that you'll trip and fall head-first into their mouths.
Also, where's all of the token "hip" mini-games intended to appeal the corporate perception of modern youth? Why hasn't there been a single snowboarding side game in a RE up until now? And aren't these games just a bit too dark and sinister? We need some lighthearted comedic scenes to break things up a bit. For example, after going forth on an arduous quest to attain the cure to the T Virus for the ailing Tofu, Michael Jackson could watch with a smirk on his face as Tofu ingests the antidote, and then inform him that he had pissed in it on the way over. This would, of course, lead into a well-choreographed dance segment.
Naturally, there would have to be some recurring elements to make the game feel like a member of the Resident Evil family. The best aspects will be held over, such as characters with the ability to discern from whom a puddle of blood had flowed simply by staring at it long enough. And evil dogs. Except these evil dogs would have bats in their mouths, so that when they bit you the bats would suck your blood. And zombies that would try to steal your spine so that they could merge it with their own spine to create a super-spine.
It's also time that the shitty voice acting was taken up a notch. Just tape record an episode of ER, and run snippets of it everytime there is a scene involving dialogue between two characters. Hell, don't even bother to do that much. Just have the pre-recorded audio begin to spool off at completely random and inappropriate points throughout the entire game.
Imp, you and I should be game designers. The gaming community is in desperate need of this kind of creativity and innovation.
Closing Comments
Andrew will be in tomorrow to listen attentively to your problems and offer sound advice with genuine care. Go ahead, open up to him. Don't be afraid to cry; I won't make fun of you. I'll just videotape you as you blubber like a five-year-old who didn't get his way, and express mail copies to all of your friends and relatives.
One last minute addendum: Andrew wants you to send him flattering images for that contest he's having. So go on, stick his mug onto a picture of Big Bird or something. The goal is to make him feel as though he's in some way superior to you as you're willing to take time out of your life to paste pictures of his face onto celebrities and male pornography actors.
-Drew Cosner
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