Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)

This is a special event. A letters column without such fancy things like, say, letters.

To make a long, bitchy story short, I slashed my hand earlier this evening. It's not a very deep cut, no stitches required or anything that serious, but I assure you it hurts like hell, and this is the last time I ever use a paper cutter. As a result, I've spent much of my evening bitching, complaining, and discovering that when it comes to bleeding, I do it with gusto. If I bled any worse, you could shear me and make a wool sweater.

Long story short, I'm forwarding today's missives to Drew, because it hurts like a bitch to type this explanation, much less the *cough* witty commentary and pithy remarks *cough* that you've come to expect. Everything should be ginchy by Monday, and in the meantime, you have my sincerest apologies.

I do, however, note that I updated today, thereby keeping my promise, albeit on a technicality. Hey, when I vowed "rain or shine, I'll update DA", this wasn't exactly what I was thinking of.

Now, if you'll excuse me, writing this hurt like hell, so I'm off to take some painkillers. Be good, kiddies.

- Allan Milligan