FINALLY - June 9th, 1999 - Allan Milligan
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say I didn't warn you. :)
I have Lunar. At last. Finally. AAAAAAAH! This feels good. And, to my amazement, I have Electronics Boutique to thank for it. I don't take back everything bad I ever said about them - they screw up reservations so consistently, you'd think it was policy - but I have to thank them for this. Good job, EB. You made one Agent very happy indeed. | Movies | Hey Double Agent, Do you think the Final Fantasy movie will be as big as the Pokemon movie? Spuzzz |
Nope. Final Fantasy is a popular title, sure, but it's nowhere close to as big as Pokemon is right now. The Pokemon movie couldn't be more of a sure-fire moneymaker if it had N'Sync doing the soundtrack, and Tom Green appearing as the kooky new member of Team Rocket. | Danger, danger, Will Robinson! | Hey, I just want to warn everyone who hasn't bought Lunar/seen the Making of Lunar CD that there is a huge spoiler in it. You have officially been warned. -Shaun, The Funkmastah zombie living it up in spray cheese |
And I also warn you. Now you've been unofficially warned, too. Don't watch the Making of Lunar. It bears the mark of the Beast. THE BEAST! Oh my stars and garters! | Pure Evil in FF7 | Hey Allan, First off, let me say that I love your column. Double Agent is one of the only columns worth reading on a daily basis. Informative and funny, the best combination. Thanks for the Indy quote ("In the Latin alphabet, Jehovah is spelled with an I"). The Last Crusade is one of my favourite movies of all time. Sean Connery was so good in it. On to the games. I am busy playing Final Fantasy VII (Yes, I know that it's been out for a while, but things here in South Africa run a little behind the civilised world). I tried to take the snowboard from the little kid's bed, before I had spoken to the other folks in the town, and subsequently became entrapped by the FUCKING cat. Is this supposed to happen? If so, a pox on you Square! Thankfully I had saved before entering the town, so, eventually, I was free to board down the hill, and continuously too I might add. Keep up the good work. Bye ^_^ Alex |
First of all, I've just gotta say that it's damned cool, getting a letter from South Africa. My fame has spread far and wide, 'n stuff. :) Ahem. As for FFVII, yes, trying to take the snowboard before you talk to everyone is a Bad Idea, and the cat will trap you if you try and take it prematurely. Damned furball. Always stealing my cows, too. | Lunar Code #2 and fear | Okay, you know that "Lords of LUNAR" code that "Some crack-addicted monkey who writes for the New England Journal of Medicine and dwells within Pat Bennetar's anus" gave you? Well I found out something else - at the "Lords of LUNAR" start screen, pop open the PSX, take out the "Making of LUNAR" disc, and put in a game disc, and, voila! You can watch all the animes on that disc. It worked for me and Disc 1; however, in Disc 2, it kinda messed up. Oh well. Anywho, on the subject of LUNAR - that final dungeon is HARD. I had to start the game over because I saved over my save outside the final dungeon. I'm still enjoying the game second time through, but it's lost some of its appeal now that I've seen everything. Even though the game rocks, it kinda sucks to go through it again. That better be one damn good ending. |
Thanks for the second tip, and sorry 'bout the last dungeon problem. If I had any advice to offer, I'd share it gladly, but I'm, like, three hours in here. | Xeno theories | Allan,I'm not usually one for writing the kind of serious letters that find anice fat place right in the middle of the column. Today, I'm going totry and break that self-induced mold. Since the column for the lastcouple of days has had a rather religious overtone to them, I thoughtthis would be the perfect time to let all the nice people inInternet-Land see my newest theory about Xenogears. Alright, here we go... The casual Xenogears player will see but one religious theme in thegame, and that's atheism. It seems pretty cut and dry, God is a bigdestructive force, who just happens to be broken, and made us all asspare parts for his reconstruction. Very clear cut atheistic theme,right? Not by a long shot, people. In fact, Xenogears, upon further examination, displays some otherreligious themes. Let's do this one step at a time. In Xenogears, there are essentially two Gods. The God of the Universe(The Wave Existance) and the God of the Planet (Dues).Let's look at some of the situations these "Gods" were in. Look at theway The Wave Existance was used to "power" Dues. If we look at it thatDues is the God of the Earth, and metaphorically, truely the God of theEarth is money and power. This is a nod towards corrupt religiousleaders, I believe. Using God to further their own cause.Hmm...what else? Ah, yes! Continuing with that train of thought, lookat how they confined God within that box type thing. This is also anallusion to how religion tries to narrow the pathway to God down to asort of "box" that the followers must conform to. I think if there's any allusions to Christianity at all in the game,it's the Nisan sect. Which is a rather nice thing if you're aChristian, because the Nisans' were showed in a rather nice light. Theway that they believed, in trying to find God within yourself, istruely too much like the Christian way of finding God, by letting himinto your heart, to be mere coincidence. Also, the Ethos. Yet another nod toward corrupt religious leaders. Arather nice front, with helping people and all, but behind the scenes,it is truely one of the worst organizations out there.Here's an idea that may be streching it a bit far, but the Wave FormExistance may also be a parallel to Jesus. Look at it, he's God, comedown from the higher dimensions (heaven) and he's come to Earth. Whenhe returns to the higher dimension, Dues will stop functioning, whichis sort of a defeat of sin, which is what Jesus did. That idea justcame to me, and there's probably holes in it a mile wide if you want toreally look for them, but I'm not going to. Anyway, that's it. I hope it's sparked a few neurons in your some ofyour minds to fire, and maybe come up with your own theories. Since Iam Christian, these are Xenogears from a Christian point ofview...maybe there's some striking similarities in other religions; Idon't know. Maybe some other viewers can answer this. It's really late right now, and the words in this letter are beginningto look like rows of vegetables for some reason, but I think that's myclue that it's time to stop. Farewell! -Aaron (I didn't use the nickname generator) Littleton |
Interesting theories. Given some past letters, I suspect that some readers are going to vehemently disagree with them. And, since we're kinda low on major debate right now, I'll leave it open. Guys? Whaddya think? Is Xenogears about atheism, or is it a celebration of real faith? Discuss. Anyone who can unfavorably compare Brave Fencer Musashi to Xenogears within their letter wins extra points. | Intolerance and jerks | 1) In regards to what Torg Vega Q wrote about Square writing Sephiroth to represent the messiah figure, and Jenova representing the Jewish and/or Christian God: I certainly hope that Square would not do such a thing, being of the Christian persuasion myself. BUT I could see it happening. The Japanese as a nation have not exactly been receptive to christianity (not that I'm nocking the japanese at all, I'm just sayin' it like it is). A Japanese that converts to Christianity is often disowned by his or her family. The family might also be shunned by their society, it's just the way the culture works. I could easily see a Japanese manufacturer creating a character representing a Western or Christian icon and casting them as the bad guy. Another example would be FF Tactics where, from what I've seen (I only bought the game a couple weeks ago and lunar has been occupying my time), the church, which closely resembles the old Roman Catholic church, is corrupt and oppressive. I could also see this coming from a non-Catholic Christian group as we have often been taught that the old Catholic church was "the bad guy." Also, Xenogears, the church is a sham, a coverup for a sinister plot. God is a machine, etc. etc. Could it be that Square has something against the Christian faith? Maybe...but forgive me for saying this, I know it's been shunned..."It's just a game" and a darn good one at that. Again, I have nothing against the Japanese people or country, but it could happen. It's not like Christianity is exacly tolerant of other religions either. 2) Regarding nash's letter and having nothing to do with videogames. While I didn't exactly find the point of the first part of his letter, the second part about the jerks getting all the ladies is the story of my life. I have been told that I'm a "nice guy". And being thus, I have dreaded the inevitable, "Oh, he's like a brother to me!" Why is it that the girls flock to the man that treats her like crap? It's the self centered, abusive, moronic lowlives that always get the women, while those of us that respect and treat women right become "Just like a brother," or, "A really good friend." If there are any female readers out there, could someone please explain this confusing reality to me, cause it's really pissing me off. Sorry 'bout the length, Wulfgang |
I posted your letter about religion, but I think I'll leave this discussion on that, somewhat ambiguous, note. Is Square anti-Christian? Is there a conscious effort on their part to ridicule and belittle that particular faith? It strikes me as unlikely, still, but I suppose it's a possibility. The church in FF Tactics is pretty clearly modelled after the Catholic Church in the middle ages, but I think that's more in service of good storytelling than for making a political statement. But, unless someone can produce some evidence of intent, in either direction, I think this discussion has run its course. As for the women thing, I think that's a generalization, though one my friends have encountered on more than one occasion. The "nice guy" syndrome does exist, and it's damned frustrating. Not all women are like that - some actually do seek out nice guys. By the same token, this isn't restricted to women; men do their fair share of hunting for 'bad girls'. Where do you think the term 'girl next door' springs from? It's a two-way street. I've never encountered the problem, personally, though, since I'm not a nice guy at all. Anyone else care to toss their hat into the ring? Have advice for Wulfie here? | I'm a dumbass, part one | Incidentally, I always sort of thought that the Shiva-as-ice was a punon "Shiver". I mean, puns aren't exactly unknown in Japan, and Enlgihsis cool there, and in retrospect this is a pretty stupid reason, butit's the only possible on I can think of, and it's what I thought when Ifirst saw it. Of course, by that logic Jinn would have powerfulalcohol-related powers... |
This is the sound of my head hitting my desk. How I failed to make the Shiva=shiver connection before now, I couldn't explain. I'm just a dumbass. | I'm a dumbass, part two | Hey man, i wasn't bashing you! I was tired of you takin' shots fromthe ultra conservative hypocryte child beaters that have blasted thesite as of late. I thought it was a great way to tell my Noah theoryi've been sitting on, and make a point about the whole reason for usingreferences to things we can relate to to tell a story... I am in no way a subscriber to organized religion; individualspirituality is really the key to unlocking your own mysteries aboutyour life. As for the last part; i'm completely jealous of your sometimesoffensive humor. For having such a forked tongue; you have alwayssupported your snide remarks with facts... something not every hotheadcan take the time to do. I was making an honest plea to be your faithfuldeciple! I even used the metric system! I want to be an ASS! Please accept my apology for once again being a bit too vague oncertain topics. If you could fit into the 'Closing Comments' that ithink you're the greatest; i would feel redeemed. Happiness (i always say this so everyone knows tofind what this REALLY is to them, be it money, art, drugs, undieinglove, whathaveyou), nash |
Ah.... NOW I understand. I am enlightened and aroused. Thank you. As for learning to be an ass, the most important thing is making yourself clear at all times. Make sure that, when you're laying the smack down, the whos, whys, and whats are explicitly clear to the smackee. Use long, wandering sentences that would make any grammar teacher consider retiring on the spot. Mock anything that moves, and deny any fault in yourself. But the most important thing you need to remember, if you want to be a total ass, is to be insensitive. Naturally so. Totally miss subtext, misunderstand, be nasty when it's uncalled for, and so forth. That is the true path of the ass. Not that I'd advocate being like me in the first place. But hey, it's your life to not have. | Xeno-fatigue | Double Agent: I could add my voice to the controversy you stirredup on religion in the past couple days...but why? What I really want to talk about is this: I'm suffering from Xeno-fatigue. It's that feeling youget from finally slogging through Xenogears Disc 2and finishing the game. Right now, I never want toplay it again. Question: Why is it, at Square, that "traditional RPG"means "deep, thought-provoking stuff" and only"action RPG" portends the coming of "light-hearted,funny stuff"? I may be wrong, but it seems like Brave Fencer Musashiis the only "lighter" RPG they've produced lately,and it's an action RPG. All their more traditional RPGsare these heavy, ponderous, philosophical affairs,such as FF7, Xeno, PE, and FFT. To be honest, I am rejoicing right now in lighter RPGslike Legend of Legaia and Lunar. While not completely*unserious* both of those game have a lighter toneand a greater spirit of fun than...say...Xenogears. Don't get me wrong. Xenogears was good. Just tiring.Kind of like how, after slogging through a John Irvingnovel, the only thing I'm ready to read for a while isa comic book or a Star Trek novel. BTW...are you looking forward to Star Ocean 2? Itseems like it may come close to having that "pen andpaper RPG" feel with 86 endings, nonweapon skills,etc. CraigInMN...2! |
I very nearly passed up Lunar to buy Star Ocean 2. The guy at EB even actively encouraged me to pass on Lunar and get SO2 instead, since it was simply the better game. Ah well. SO2 will wait for me, it will. I do understand the burnout syndrome, though. I experienced the same thing after I finished Xenogears. It's scary stuff. Sometimes, it's nice to take a break after reading Beyond Good and Evil, or watching Schindler's List, or whatever, and just take five. Watch Will & Grace, some gay porn, play Super Dodgeball, read an issue of Avengers... something light. Relax. Let your backbone slide. All intensity is Bad. | Self-loathing | Oh my god I'm a blithering idiot. I can't wait to read your latest addition of "I'm Depressed. Feel sorry for me." letter page. |
You know, you're absolutely right. I mean, what right do I have to feel pathetic and unloved, like a worthless little stain of shit on the bottom of a boot, when there are worthless sacks of rat shit like you around? Thanks for the ego boost, asshole. I feel better already. | Child's play | As I waited in line at my local EB to pre-purchase my Sega Dreamcast, Ilooked at the awesome "viral" ads that hang on the store (have YOU beenaffected?). In addition to that, I watched a mother come into the store withher two kids as she walked towards the counter. Her kids, I noticed, ranimmediately to the Game Boy section to stare at Pokemon or something. Moreinterestingly, however, I saw the mother stare at the demo being played inthe store. It was of the Japanese Sonic Adventure for the upcoming SegaDreamcast. She stood there mesmorized at the screen, amazed at the graphics.I tried to make conversation with her, being the super duper nice guy I am. "Hey, you think that looks great?" I asked. "Oh, yes, definitely," she said. "Nintendo's really getting advanced, Isee." Nintendo. Nintendo. Those words still echo in my line as I stood therestaring at the woman. A multibillion dollar industry videogames are; lastyear it beat sales of the box office. Hundreds of videogames coming outevery year. In fact, it's not a lie to say that gaming has advancedtechnology more than any other industry (Oh yeah, you REALLY need a Pentium500 to use a word processor). And yet, with all of this in the historybooks, the general public STILL refers to all videogames as "Nintendo". Whathaunts me even more is when I explained that this game was made by Sega, notNintendo, and then she said the following words. "Well, Sega, Nintendo, whatever, I'm just wondering when this passing fadwill end." For over 25 years videogames have been around. From Atari to Nintendo toSega (yes, Nintendo eventually did win the console "wars", but only becauseSega dropped the Genesis in favor of the Saturn) to Sony, this industry hasbeen around through t he good and bad. And now people are only realizingvideogames, and what's worse is that they think it's just a passing fad! Amulti-billion dollar industry, just a passing fad? I'd like to quote from a recent issue of Next Generation, issue 53. This isfrom an interview with Jack Sorensen, president of LucasArts. "Next Generation: Are games now a fully mass-market, normal, legitimate formof entertainment? Are we there yet? JS: No, we're nowhere close to that. I mean, it is a mass market. It's huge.We all know how big it is, and it still makes me laugh when the legitimatepress will cover records and music and TV all in one breath, as it they'rehigh art forms, and then our business is looked upon as just above Mr.Potato Head. That still bothers me to no end, but I think we're just 10 to20 years away from when people just say: 'There are great games, and thereare bad games, and there are kids' games, and adult games, and so what?' Iwas watching Eraser on TV the other night, and it is certainly not one ofthe better action films. It's just blood and mayhem, right? And a film likethat doesn't de-legitimize Saving Private Ryan, but we all know everyCarmageddon somehow represents to the rest of the world that gaming is justa bunch of bloodthirsty youths who, if we aren't careful, are all going toget their little cabin in Montana and start sending bombs to everybody, youknow? It's just going to take a long time to mature." I couldn't have said it better myself. How can people be so ignorant and notsee the art and excellence that videogames bring? My observations show thatthe only way the mainstream media even notices games is if there issomething bad about them. Everyone points at Doom and Mortal Kombat, butthey don't even notice that there have been videogames that have come outafter 1995. No one has noticed the absolute beauty of many storylines invideogames like Xenogears and Metal Gear Solid. No one has pointed out thatvideogame sales are growing rapidly. No one has ever even thought thatadults play videogames too. It is so important to me that one day videogamesdo become mainstream because gaming has been such a big part of my life andit hurts me that videogames are still viewed as passing fads or toys when infact they are becoming greater than ever. This isn't a particularly long letter because I think from experience thatif a letter is too long, people simply won't listen, so, well, bye. -Clyde Hudman |
Damn. I'm *really* regretting saying "it's just a game" two days ago, now. Good points all around, and I'm sort of lose in trying to rebut it in any serious way. Anyone else have any thoughts/anecdotes to share? Closing Comments I was asked how Jade Cocoon would be released, with Craveyard disbanded. See, Craveyard was the software development wing of Crave, not the entire organization. JC never had any connection to Craveyard, as the translation was being performed elsewhere, and will thus suffer no ill effects from the unfortunate demise of Craveyard. - Allan Milligan
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