Drew,

If you're going to do an all picture day, I think you owe all us longtime readers a favor.

That's right, we need at least one picture of you trying to have sex with a lesser primate. If no monkeys/apes/chimps/really really stupid people are around, I will permit you to hump a television set displaying Samba de Amigo. No, Super Monkey Ball won't cut it--those monkeys are protected. By balls.

That is all.

-Justin Freeman

PS. I'd provide "material", as it were, but I think hotmail explodes if one attempts to send a picture, or any HTML tags.

DC,

Someone wants to know why I hate the songs that the FF series now has to have in each iteration.

Simple: this is not a fucking Disney movie.

Hell, Disney doesn't even make movies with songs in them anymore. The songs are badly written, sung, and terribly out of place. They ruin any sort of suspension of disbelief I might have had during an emotional scene, and I can't stand the idea that some lame-ass Square exec thought that their inclusion would "increase" the gaming experience. Did Aeris's death have a singing accompaniment from someone who sounds like some whiny-ass indie bitch I've heard 10,000 times over the radio? No. Did "Eyes on Me" increase my viewing enjoyment of an already overly melodramatic and sappy scene? No. Did "Melodies of Life" add anything whatsoever to the game, besides an awful flashback of movie you guys posted with Vivi's ass hanging out in the rain? No. But Goddamn, at least they were in English!

When you find yourself relaxing to a good FMV with decent music, only to be interrupted with vocals that sound worse than a kazoo-playing pre-pubescent leper being mauled by rabid badgers, you know it's time to find a new game series.

There, I think I have insulted everybody . . .

-Red Raven

Hi! I know it's not, like, "Free-Message Friday" or whatever when people can write in with whatever then want and that you have a set topic for your mailbag (Or whatever), but I have some very helpful advice that you probably should post. Never, ever, EVER, try to hook up a NES, SNES, and Sega Genny with Sega CD into your bathroom while your room mate is out at his girlfriend's if you DON'T want him to trip and kill himself!

Ok, bye!!!!

Double... Aaaagent Man -

Just a comment to that JC guy who wrote in for yesterday's column: Screw you man. "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" kicked ass.

- An'Desha - Campy is good, if it's meant to be campy in the first place.

I saw something disturbing something the other day.

Yes, on your site.

http://www.thegia.com/psx2/xenosaga/other6/poster01.jpg

Now, I'm all for homosexual liasons between two men. After all, it's a beautiful sight. But implied lesbian contact between a human woman and a humanoid woman? What a perversion of nature.

How utterly disgusting! At least they didn't imply a heterosexual romance, such as Final Fantasy X: Breeder's Lane. It just goes to show that Japanese culture is being pervaded and destroyed by alien values. Now by no means am I xenophobic, but Japanese just shouldn't allow other cultures within their own! I met a guy who recently spent a year in Japan. While there, he met a nice Japanese girl named Lisa. Wait a minute, back up. Lisa? Why doesn't she have a nice traditionally Japanese name such as Megumi? The bastardization of American culture has already started.

I fear.

Soon, there will be a breeding simulation, where an eager teenager is encourage to create a family. As the game goes on, the teenager becomes a man, and then a divorcee, then another husband (or two), before finally becoming a widower in a prune farm in Florida. Developed by none other than the makers of Harvest Moon. With addicting and repetitive side quests such as 'Pay Child Support on Time' and 'Fertilize the Egg.'

All because of the acceptance and normalacy of lesbian acts between machines and women.

Noah

So here we go. Now that an abundance of information is available for games Xenosaga, Final Fantasy XI, and Grandia Xtreme, which of these titles do you think is going to be the next important RPG for the PS2? Don't limit yourselves to just those 3 titles I mentioned: those were only examples. Anyway, just send Drew letters, since he'll be giving Erin a break on Monday.