Double Agent
Bake me a pie - August 5, 2000 - Andrew Kaufmann

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I'm staring at my feet. Don't say we didn't warn you.

AK here, in for my usual weekend stint. I had heard about the R.E.M. covering the Smashing Pumpkins' Thirty-Three, and was really excited about it, but the word I'm hearing now is that it's a false rumor. Bummer. That was such a perfect song for R.E.M. to cover, too.

Probably not a trend

Heya AK-man~~

I have a question about the discrepancy between US and Japanese ps2 game releases. Generally, we've seen that the japanese game will be released much earlier than its translated American counterpart. But, take the case of Silent Scope for ps2. It is scheduled for an Oct 26 American release, yet the Japanese release still hasn't been confirmed... It's listed as "TBA 2001" in the IGN website. Onimusha has just been confirmed for a November 15 US release, but according to IGN, it's slated for a Summer 2000 Japanese release, which seems doubtful since the summer is almost over, and no word of it yet. So my question is, is this a start of a new trend? (I understand that maybe some of the EA sports games are released in US, but never will hit the Japanese market) Will Japanese gamers continue to get the better games before us (well us being the ones without the JP PS2 ^_^, but, anyway) Thanks,

Dave

I seriously doubt we'll ever see a day when Japanese-made games come out in North America before Japan. We've been hearing about simultaneous releases for RPGs for a while, but it never pans out. Now, the gap may significantly decrease, especially for games that require smaller amounts of localization (fighting games, for example), but I just don't see it happening. In the cases you list, I'm going to wager that the release dates are outdated and no longer accurate.

Monopolistic tendencies

Is it just me, or does it look like Square pushed back FFIX to fight the DC RPG 'revolution'? (Shenmue, Skies of Arcadia, and Grandia II). For some reason I just refuse to believe any report Square puts out claiming they need to 'touch up' certain 'technical' things. They're just trying to be the Bill Gates of videogames (and ironically enough, Bill Gates could end up being the Bill Gates of videogames next year...). Not that it matters... Square makes quality games. I'll just have to feel sorry for everyone who misses out on other possibly better RPGs because they have to decide between Final Fantasy and something else. ::shrugs:: Oh well.

-Chris- Who hopes he has no friends come Christmas so he can have enough money to purchase the insane amount of videogames being released.

And who wouldn't want to be Michael Stipe in an R.E.M. RPG? That'd be crazy fun, man. Crazy fun.

I can't disprove your theory, but my gut feeling is that it's coincidence. Delays happen for a lot of reasons... we'll probably never know whether or not it's to fight competition, but I doubt it.

I think I'd play Mike Mills in an R.E.M. RPG. First off, he wears really cool clothes. That's a big plus. Also, he's easily the most versatile! Michael just sings (and plays a very small amount of guitar), while Mike can bass, sing, lead guitar, keyboard/piano/accordion, and a little drums.

A rambling letter

so. lunar 2 is delayed again. if you could see my face, i think youd pretty much agree that it was the face of someone who doesnt care.

and you know why i dont care? because i hate lunar? no. actually, i kind of liked the first one. the only problem is that, well, despite what most people said, that is, about it having a fantastic story and all, i thought that it was just so... ordinary. it reminded me more or less of the original breath of fire, and thats not always a good thing in this day and age.

or -- maybe it was working designs' GENEROUS inclusion of a MUSIC CD and that god-awful self righteous "making of lunar" disc that threw me off. after watching that thing (for no reason other than "morbid curiosity"), i came off thinking, "hey, this game's gotta be GREAT for them to go so far as to include a mini-documentary like this! and then what did i get? a game still only one-quarter as good as grandia, with a translation only slightly better, and equally annoying voice acting. at least grandia played off of its cheesy story, you know, with the whole "let's go on an adventure!" and all. however, i found it kind of charming that the game always seemed to be just starting, even all the way up until the very end. and at least GRANDIA took that said, i would like to speak to the readers of the gia, good people that they must be. final fantasy ix is, without a doubt, the best final fantasy game since final fantasy iv. no doubt. ever since ffv, with the job system and all, square has injected the "american dream" into the ff series, that is, letting the player "customize" the character -- who could subsequently become "whatever they wanted" through way of job changes, magicite, materia, or, God forbid, junctions. (level 19 quistis with 9999 HP. hm.) ffix finds some way to bring back the rigid caste system of ffiv and still introduce something new. my level 32 vivi may be able to cast some insane spells, yet he still dies in about two hits and can't score above 200 damage no matter what equipment he's wearing. wonderful.

and the story (as of mid-disc three), which focuses so much on summoned monsters it's almost not funny, is such a wonderful throwback to the old ff games, exactly what ffviii "final sci-fi" didnt have, what with its "we all lived in the same orphanage, and it's because of our GF that we have no memory" "basketball court revelations" -- isnt that like tina in ffvi saying that it was because of the mithril dagger she equipped in the escape from narshe that she has no memory of her mother's identity? well, in ffix "sacred beasts" are CHARACTERS, not equipment. and thats only one of the refreshing references to old ff games, the ones i grew up with, that i've come across so far.

so. people. just because ffix has super-deformed characters, dont you go out and not buy it, just cuz it dont look like ffviii. dear god. if you do that, i'm forsaking the world, and i'll use my extensive knowledge of japanese to copy buddhist scriptures in a temple somewhere rather than, well, do whatever it is i hope to do when i get my PhD. ahem. anyway, anybody who even DARES to say that ffviii had an "intriguing" or even "coherent" story would be an unsalvageable MORON if they didnt buy ffix. yeah. word. (not trying to sound MEAN or anything)

a final thought. isnt it great that working designs isnt translating ffix? damn, theyd go through a hell of a lot of delays trying to get together a "making of" cd for that one! and i wonder if theyd still find a way to get that nasal GHALEON guy to do some unscripted voice work. ive put in that "making of" cd, just for the hell of it. right now, victor's saying, "quark: best dragon voice, hands down, EVER." my ASS!

--Tim

Wow, this is the most cynical letter I've gotten in a long time. You probably stepped on more toes than an out of control elephant at a rock concert. I like your points on Working Designs. I liked Lunar, but I don't think I'm going to buy Lunar II, if only for the price. The novelty packaging and extras were cool at first, but I think I'd rather pay $39 and just get the game without the extras. A making-of a video game just isn't that interesting to me.

But, since this letter was harsh on Working Designs (and not without good reason), I will defend Victor Ireland in one way: he has a strong Internet presence. Of course, many people find this presence annoying, but it is there and does answer questions from anybody, be it an intrepid reporter or a curious fan.

And while I wouldn't go as far as you would in insulting FF8, it's no secret that I'm not a huge FF8 fan and am eagerly awaiting FF9. The reasons you list just make me that much more excited.

Worry, worry

Well, I've got to agree with both of you on this one, however, let's not underestimate Sakaguchi.  He's pulled rabbits out of the hat in the past when the odds were against him (look no further than FF1 for proof of this).  However, I think FFXI's other biggest hurdle to get past will be player killing.  Any online gamer who'se been around for at least two years has undoubtably played Ultima Online - a great game as far as it goes - if you don't mind spending a lot of time making a good character and then getting killed each and every time you step out of town by some wandering lv 45 mercenary (and your on level 1).  If Sakaguchi ignores this, perhaps the BIGGEST problem in any online role playing game (and I say biggest because you can have an online game with the best story in the world, but if everyone gets killed off by others in the prologue, then there's no point), then he's going to end up with a game that will probably end up being a flop.  This being said, FFXI really should have been a spin off title (less of a chance to scar the cherished FF label)

Reese

I agree with you: let's not underestimate Sakaguchi. I'm sure he and the rest of Square are doing their research and finding problems with previous online RPGs, so that they don't repeat those mistakes. At least, I'd like to think so. I don't agree that FFXI should be a spinoff title. If Sakaguchi feels it's Final Fantasy enough to be part of the main series, then that's good enough for me.

Call me stubborn

Well if your still thinking that FF9 out sell DQ7 in Japan, look at this: http://psx.ign.com/news/23066.html That's right 3 out 4 retailers in Japan surveyed thought that DQ7 will outsell FF9 DESPITE all the delays and the fact that it won't have the purty graphics of FF9.

Ah, ha! 3 out of 4! That means 1 in 4 agree with me! The odds aren't looking good for me being right, but I'll stubbornly sit by my prediction. I'll probably end up wrong, but it won't be the first (or last) time.

Chrono Cross extras

AK, Is it already too late to get the music sampler or alram clock when you pre-order Chrono Cross? -John Mora

I think, but I'm not sure, that the alarm clocks are spoken for. I think there are music samplers still available, though. I would call whatever retailer you're thinking about ordering from and asking them before you plop down your money.

Addendum to the music RPG

actually, the music RPG sounds awesome. i've never heard the traveling wilbury's before, but i wanna now. of course it goes without saying that there must be one area on the world map whose indigenous culture is a race of Giants. this area must have two locations that must be visited to complete your quest:

1) Newport Town, where you must face off against a demon named Satan to obtain a ship.

2) The Newport Arena, where you can bet on monster fights. There you'd find a side story event connected to a battle between a robot who waxes philosophical about religion named XTC-80S and an insectoid with a high defensive rating named Adam-Ant-I-Am. (Slight non-linearity comes into play here when you must choose only one of these age-old enemies to join your party.)

Anyway, i hope they make an RPG Maker Deluxe for PS2. It would include a simplified version of MTV Music Generator and you'd be able to download and upload chapters to a special Agetec website,

All fine, fine ideas. I really like this music RPG thing. Props to Chris for that idea!

I'll print anything from a friend

Andy--

I've heard rumor that you are a big fan of the bakery and I too like it just as much. My point, with that unnessesary introduction, is that thegia.com is a big bakery to me. Doesn't it seem that way when you think about it? A big free bakery with plenty of sweets and yummies to get me through my day.

Thank you,
Curtis

p.s. the deans son thinks I'm that much cooler just cuz I know Andy Kaufmann. You are a celebrity.

You know, I do see what you're talking about. Everywhere you look, you see tasty morsels and finely baked goods layered in yummy flavorings. I'm running low on crossaints, we need to make a grocery store run soon. (To all of you that are currently baffled, Curtis is a friend of mine at SMU, and the first paragraph is, for the most part, one big inside joke. Sorry for being dumb and including inside jokes, but hey, it's one of the perks of being a letters guy.)

But wow, the thing about the dean's son is cool. I feel totally special now. I mean, like, really special. Thanks Big Red, you made my day!

Closing Comments:

My roommates and I wired our apartment for ethernet, but of course, out of the three bedrooms, mine is the one having issues with the wiring. How depressing. Take care yall!

-Andrew Kaufmann

Recent Columns  
08.04.00
08.03.00
08.02.00
Double Agent Archives
Tell me what you think.
DA FAQ is here. It really is Chris' thing, and doesn't really apply to days that AK hosts, but is great reading nonetheless. And this link really looks cool, so I don't want to delete it just because I don't use the same rules.