Haute couture - May 10, 2000 - Chris Jones
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of
the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There
is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Why did I stop saying
"May 10th" instead of "May 10"? I don't even remember doing that.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
E3 has begun, and lots of interesting news has already begun to leak out. But strangely
enough all the letters I've gotten so far revolve around the GIA's ultra super nifty alpha
plus EX t-shirts. Tons of people have asked how to get one, but unfortunately all shirts
are currently spoken for by staff members, E3 attendees, and various hangers-on. There are
no concrete plans to make and sell more to the general public, but as soon as such plans
are confirmed I'll let you know. In the meantime, it's nice to know that the GIA continues
to lead the way in the development of gamer high fashion, which is as it should be.
The Arch Nemesis contest is still running, and you have
a week more from tonight to get your vote in. However, no new entries are being accepted
from this point on. The final update will be late tonight, so read, review, and VOTE!
Thank you.
Onward.
| Justifiably smug bastard |
| What would I do to go to E3 you say? Its pretty simple. I show up at
work on wednesday.
One of the perks of working in game development.
God I love my job.
Richard "KZ" Knight |
Well fine then. You got to go to E3 for work, but I got to have long meetings about the
difference between functional modeling and requirements modeling, so there!
Wait, that's not nearly as good...
| Is this memory card ok? I don't know, I can't
remember! </bad joke> |
| 'Sup, Chris? Yesterday, I was hit by the one thing I had hoped to
avoid forever: my memory card fried. My main memory card, at that. Stored on this card
were half-finished games of FF6, Legend of Legaia, FF Tactics, FF8, Grandia, FF7, Lunar,
Star Ocean, BFM, Um Jammer Lammy, Gran Turismo 2, and Metal Gear Solid. Now all I have is
my finished Xenogears and Parappa saves. Most of these games I will never finish now.
They're all good games, but not THAT good. I guess this will make it easier for me to play
SaGa Frontier 2, Front Mission 3, Chrono Cross, Vagrant Story, Legend of Mana, and FF9,
but I kind of wanted to finish the other games, too.
This letter does have a point. I know it's a little late, but I think I've figured out
what the ultimate arch-nemesis would have to do: fry your memory cards. I've been in a
really bad mood since this happened. I think it may have ruined gaming for me forever.
Without my RPG saves, I'll have to resort to playing NBA 2K and Crazy Taxi for the rest of
my life. And I know you wouldn't want that to happen to you, would you Chris? (cackles
maniacally)
Just thought I'd share that with everyone.
-Peein' E. |
This brings up the single most important accessory any Playstation gamer can possibly
have - a Dex Drive. The ability to play other people's saves and send out your own is
nice, but the ability to back up your saves ad infinitum on a computer is absolutely key.
Not only does it let you get limitless mileage out of your existing memory cards, but it
makes sure you will never, ever lose a save, except by your own stupidity in overwriting
an existing save.
And it's because of my mighty Dex Drive that I'm invulnerable to any such memory card
attacks. Those of you thinking you can just attack my computer are out of luck, because my
trusty laptop is by my side always. (Fortunately I'm in Austin, where taking a laptop on a
date is acceptable social behavior.)
| A very important question |
| How could he be naked if he's dressed as a samurai in drag? Jon |
This bothered me too, at first, until I realized that no possible good could come out
of knowing the answer. End of discussion.
| Exclusive: Ian P. barks like a seal! Film at
11! |
| I expect Drew to say 'Oh you! Tee-hee-hee!' when I ask if he comes with
the shirt. And speaking of those shirts, how does a person like myself get one?
And for a E3 ticket, I would indeed bark like a seal. Arro! Arro! Arro! Arro! Arro!
Okay, nevermind.
The above makes sense if you've heard a certain wav file.
~Ian P. |
I have not heard the wav file in question, but based on the context I'm quite sure I
don't want to hear it.
Sorry about the t-shirt, but Drew might very well say such a thing if you asked him,
Ian. Give it a shot.
| Virtual Cop Extreme! |
| Yes, using a projector to create a large display works nicely, but I've
never gotten my Guncons to work with one. I'd guess it has something to do with the
scanning rate (all projectors tested were progressive-scan, and an unknown rate). Any
chance you've got more of a clue as to what sort of displays that Guncons will/won't work
with? -Anson |
Working on the assumption that "Guncon" == "light gun controller",
I'll hazard a few guesses. It might have something to do with progressive vs. interlaced
scan, or the fact that the screen is much bigger than a standard screen. (There might be
some cutoff as to how relatively close you can get to the screen.)
However, my best guess is that it's because you're on a projection TV. There may be
problems with the brightness, in which case making the room as dark as possible and the
screen as light as possible might help. Or it could also be because the light composing
the actual image is different - an LCD projector is reflected, filtered light coming from
a very bright lamp, whereas a CRT image is direct light coming from an excited phosphor
screen. The quantity or composition of the wavelengths involved could be confusing the
internal light sensing mechanism, which I know nothing about. Anybody else want to chime
in on this, feel free.
| Final Fantasy evolution: dwarf, human, human,
dwarf, human |
| Chris, Chris, Chris, (shaked head and frowns) you disappoint me!!! The
"tell me what you would do to get to E3, and spare no details" has probably been
done to death already....
Hey, totally unrelated (plus I'm already growing annoyed with the E3 excitement), but I
was recently thinking about a question I read way back when the 3 new Final Fantasy were
announced, and that was buzzing in the back of my mind (so to speak). The question was
(not verbatim, though): why would Square go to quasi-super deformed, very fantasy-looking
characters for IX, then go back to ultra-realism for the character design (what little was
glimpsed) in X?
Well, while I don't have the official answer, here's my best speculation: because the
character design of X might have been done by the same person/people who did that for
VIII. I do not recall Square shedding light on whether Amano did the character design for
the next in the series.
Think about it: these games are appearing at less than 2 years spans, which is unusual.
Square would surely not rush their talent, or they just might lose their claim to quality
(warning to Old Schoolers: shut the hell up and let me finish!!!)
It must be because they are diversifying their talent more than in the past, using new
talent to speed up the process (they are running a business, you know....). After all, has
Square not assembled many employees for their foray in animated movie making? And what do
you think these slav...ehr...employees would do in their spare time: get a life?
Princess "I know, I know, word limit...but I had nothing else to do while waiting
for Vagrant Story" Jemmy |
I like your theory, but I think it has more to do with deliberate artistic decisions by
Square than the varying styles of whoever happened to be working on a game. That is to
say, FFX might well be designed by someone other than Amano, but if so it would be because
Square corporate decreed the game look that way rather than Amano being unavailable.
From what Sakaguchi has said about FF9 so far, the SD-like characters have more to do
with the generally retro theme of the game (castles, crystals, etc.), while the models in
FFX are probably there to show off how very realistic Square can make things with the PS2.
But news coming out of E3 even now might prove either of us wrong, so I'll stop
speculating here.
| My superior attitude... annoying? Impossible! |
| Chris, your superior attitude about how careful you are with your CD's is
getting annoying. "I'd sooner cut up twenty dollar bills than allow a CD to be
scratched". Believe it or not, CD's do become scratched during the normal course of
use. I'm extremely careful with my CD's and I still have several old ones that are covered
with scratches. Besides which, that line of yours is just plain stupid since a single CD
very rarely costs more than $20, and a scratched CD is not useless the way a shredded 20
is. - Kaxon |
I don't have any scratches on any of the CDs that have been mine since they were new,
tho I'll take your word for it. But if you're counting game or computer CDs, a CD can be
worth far more than $20 as a purchase price. Factor in emotional attachment (I value my
copy of FFT much more than the $100+ it might bring on the market) and I still say CDs can
be more valuable than cash.
I'll grant that it's a subjective judgement tho - if you don't consider CDs the end all
be all of existence, that's totally cool.
| You poor, deprived bastard |
| You mentioned yesterday in response to my letter that you weren't that
impressed with the PS2. I guess that's the normal reaction, since every magazine and their
dog say that the PS2 is not very superior to the Dreamcast right now. Well, I have a
shocking confession to you.
I haven't played a Dreamcast.
It's true! The only Dreamcast game I've seen is Marvel vs. Capcom. That's due to two
factors: the videogame market in Mexico is dominated in a 99% by Nintendo and, as I told
you before, I'm not a Sega fan. So you would be floored by the PS2 too if the most powerfu
system you've played is a N64.
The only reason why the Playstation is known in Mexico is because stores like WalMart
and Sears have carried them lately, but at extremely high prices (like U$150+, with each
game going at U$70). Since I live near the US frontier I can go to Laredo and McAllen to
buy my PSX games, but everybody else has to stick to flea markets and counterfeit shops...
Meanwhile, Nintendo is the undisputed king of videogames. That was good when the SNES
ruled, but now it just plainly sucks, with no RPGs at all and with the Zelda cartridge
coing at U$100...
And Sega? Tried to sell the Genesis in here, got squashed like a bug. Never seen it in
the stores since.
Nothing personal against Sega, guys, it is just the way the (official) market behaves
down here...
Cheers!
- Carlos Rodriguez |
I'm a little surprised by this info - I'd have thought NAFTA would have ensured prices
and supplies wouldn't vary so much between the US and Mexico. But my comprehension of
international trade agreements is only slightly greater than my knowledge of archaic
Mongolian, so I could be wrong.
Either way, I'm bullish on the Dreamcast at the moment, Carlos, so I suggest you pick
one up as soon as funds permit. Between a simpler API allowing for performance
parity with the PS2 and a potential version of Bleem! allowing PSX compatibility,
Dreamcast is getting harder and harder to ignore in the States.
| The beat... the beat got to me |
| Hey, is it just me or does nobody who writes to this column like the
music from Final Fantasy VII? I really liked some of the songs off that soundtrack, even
though it was just synthesized. Songs like Sephiroth's ultra-evil theme or the tribal beat
of Cosmo Canyon are very memorable for me. -Jon V. |
I tend to think of the FFVII soundtrack in terms similar to the Beatles' White Album -
a solid, respectable offering from a great artist that would have made a much better album
had it been half as long. Like the game itself, it's to be honored for being bleeding
edge, if not 100% great all the time.
| And I do so love to be proven wrong |
| I saw your comment on how old school RPGs are about gameplay and modern
day games graphics, so I decided to take this oppurunity to prove you wrong. Famous Old
School Game - Final Fantasy IV (II U.S.)
Ahhh, FFIV, a game some still call the best RPG of all-time. I'd go over plot, but
since that's irrelevant to this letter, we'll discuss the gameplay. FFIV contains several
characters of different styles and tastes. However, a few of them also share the same
trait; they die/leave the party at least once. Lesse... Kain, Tellah, Edward, Palom,
Porom, Yang... well, that's really a joy when you want to go raising levels and after a
couple hours work somebody croaks or waves goodbye. Plus let's not forget how Cecil begins
his leveling process again after he becomes a paladin. Even worse, there isn't any special
job system, relic using, or variety of materia. Final Fantasy IV's gameplay is simple, and
somewhat irritating; not the same style as Final Fantasy Mystic Quest, but the same
results.
Famous Modern Game - Final Fantasy VIII
And now for something completely different. Final Fantasy VIII features numerous
summons that can learn a varied selection of abilities based on your decisions, a card
game that can give you extra items and hours of addiction, plus junk shops that remodel
your weapons also based on the finding of items instead of simply the use of money.
There yah go.
- SirDamned. |
You'll get no argument from me, I was merely pointing out a common bone of contention
among gamers. And like most arguments, it's not really about right or wrong but about a
fundamental misunderstanding of the issues involved. I like FF4 because it was the best
game I'd ever played at the time, but FF8 is the superior game in nearly every objective
way imaginable.
| A cautionary tale |
| Jones: This is not an application to be your Arch-Nemesis, for indeed
I have already been an Arch-Nemesis, and I know the truth about the job. Because of this I
am writing in to warn all prospective candidates that it:s more dangerous than you may
believe. For years, I was the secret arch-nemesis of the GIA's own Fritz Fraundorf, and
therein lies the tragedy.
Of course, the first rule of an Arch-Nemesis is to wreck havok upon your enemy, and
this well I knew. In order to torment him, I purposefully called in favors at Square,
convincing---through a combination of African drugs and water-torture---a key designer to
replace the guest-appearance of Gilgamesh in Xenogears with a ridiculous, over-cute
character I whimsically dubbed "Chu-chu." Little was I to realise how terribly
diabolical Fraundorf (curse his name!) truly is. Not only did he embrace my horrifying
creation, but he used it against me, posting images and making references in every facet
of the GIA his reach extended. Repeatedly, I have found myself blasted with Chu-chu's
image, all the more ironic because it was a weapon of my making.
Take heed, all you would-be Nemeses. Jones may seem harmless enough, but, like
Fraundorf, I believe the truth may be far more sinister. Should you sign on to become his
official enemy, be prepared for the terrifying consequences of your action!!!
Lord Pendragon |
Consider this a cunning psychological first strike on my part, towards whoever gets the
position. I think it speaks for itself, but I would like to confirm that Fritz is indeed
one bad mutha.
| Your pain amuses me |
| Chris I am one of the pitiful few that send letters everyday. Rarely
do I get to see my name in your column.
Glad I fit in somewhere.
-Agent X "sobbing quietly to myself" |
And only now that I've broken your spirit will I actually print your letters.
Ain't I a stinker? </Bugs Bunny>
Closing Comments:
Kinda tired, but some really cool news out of E3. So tell me your thoughts on any E3
subject that you please, anything from the PS2 release to MGS2. Later
-Chris Jones, who does get a GIA shirt... ha! |
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