Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I remembered to point the mail link to AK! Rapture! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Normally I like to discuss things related to games in this space, but today I'm gonna use my editorial fiat (yet again) to ramble on about whatever I feel like. In this case I'm gonna brag about the fact that I have kick ass tickets to Sunday's first ever home game of Round Rock's brand new Express minor league baseball team. For free. Admittedly it doesn't sound like that big a deal, but the game's been sold out for months, and the Austin metropolitan area getting it's own baseball team is long overdue. Nolan Ryan should be throwing out the first pitch, and a good number of cool Austinites should be there.

There's also the way I managed to snag the tickets, which owes a fair debt to you guys. See, even as I'm programming I'm keeping an eye on the mail trickling in to the agent account, because I never know when some totally bizarre rant will brighten up my day. Because of this tendency, I was the first to see the email offering up the CEO's tickets (heavy hangs the head that wears the crown), and thus the first to respond. So thanks to all of you for getting me these totally slick seats within spitting distance of first base. Not that you'll actually get anything for this boon you've bestowed upon me, but it's the thought that counts. At least, I'm hoping you'll believe that.

While what you suggest is entirely possible, I think the X-Box will play PC games, or be very easy to port PC games to. To do otherwise would run in the face of the one edge the machine has: that it's made by Microsoft. Windows isn't a particularly great OS, but it is omnipresent, and thus has certain advantages to being the OS and programming API (Application Programmer's Interface) for the X-Box. If the X-Box is just another generic hardware API then there's little to differentiate the X-Box from every other console wannabe out there.

Mr. Bill would also lose a ton of leverage if he didn't put Windows inside. With Windows and the X-Box, he can still sneak his devious ones and zeros into every home in America without worrying about anti-competition problems from the government. Also, if you look at the stated reasoning behind things like USB, this "integrated set-top box" idea has been something Microsoft has been interested in doing for some time. And if Windows is in the X-Box, then developers would be stupid not to port games to the system.

I had entirely forgotten about this problem, but it's quite valid. Typing in text via a character menu is possible, although it'll make all the epic literary RPGs I was hoping to see unlikely. I'm not aware of any PSX keyboard, and even if there was such a peripheral it's unlikely to be widespread, or supported.

There seems to be an unfortunate dearth of information on RPG Maker. I'd expect character designs to be under your control but it might be more in the line of "what color do you want this predrawn character's hair to be" then "draw your own character in a paint program". Ditto abilities. From the screenshots I've seen, menus and 2D landscapes seem to be the order of the day.

So I have to break the bad news to you, RR, but unless Agetec's done something really original, your grandiose ideas are unlikely to make it into a homebrew RPG anytime soon. Although perhaps if anyone is smart enough to put an RPG Maker on the Dreamcast or PS2, which have keyboards, we could see some interesting stuff.

I'm taking a cautious attitude on Aidyn Chronicles. I'd love to see a good RPG on the N64, and I'd love it even more if an American development house started doing good console RPGs. (Don't get me wrong, I love Japanese RPGs, but I think more a more traditional Western narrative would be very refreshing.) However the last game I pinned these hopes on, Shadow Madness, turned out to be less than expected, and once burned twice shy. I will be keeping close tabs on news about the game, but at this point it's safer not to expect too much.

Other people mentioned Mario as being on a milk add, or long ago promotions with McDonalds and Mario 3. But to me this just further proves that marketing with game characters is limited to kids, which makes sense because most "superstar" game characters are from kids' games.

The lone example of a more adult-targeted mentioned was a 7-Up/FF7 cross-promotion, which apparently had a picture of Aeris on a case of soda. I don't remember seeing this, but if true, it's pretty cool. At any rate, it looks like we're unlikely to see video games promoting a mainstream product until games themselves become mainstream. Everybody knows who Mario and Pikachu are, but I doubt everybody who knows them has played the associated games. When 20 or 30 percent of America has played a Final Fantasy, we might see an FF hero pushing insurance on an unsuspecting public.

Already read 'em. Gaiman's a stronger comic book writer than straight prose, at least so far, and Pratchett simply rocks. But you could probably tell I thought that by the Pratchett reference in my first column.

Already read that, too. Dawkins is quite good, but I think Stephen J. Gould is the better writer, in general.

I don't mean to sound arrogant (well, maybe a little) but I've already read a really frightening amount of stuff. It's certainly not impossible to stump me, but chances are, if it's even slightly mainstream sf, fantasy, or pop science, I've read it. I know at least as much about sf as I do about RPGs, and I knew enough about RPGs to get this job. So keep writing about books if you must, but don't forget that this is an RPG column.

I did appreciate the fact that FF8 managed to have teenagers that felt like actual teenagers. Admittedly, having young uber-competent heroes and heroines seems to be a mainstay in a lot of fiction, but FF8 did a great job of also including the confusion and angst that age usually entails, if not quite at Buffy's level. Next I'd like to see Square have an overweight middle-aged housewife for the main character of a Final Fantasy, as a change of pace.

And I agree about junctioning - by the time I really figured out how to set it up, I was near the end of Disk 3, but in principle summoning didn't need to be performed in FF8 any more than in previous games. Junctioning is good, end of story.

Yeah, I know what to do. *KA-CHAK!* An Agent's work is never done...

A lot of people seem a bit confused about how I put together the column, so I'll explain my standard operating procedure. I generally start the column right after I get off work, generally around 6 or 7pm. At this point I generally mark off the last email I got, and start looking though the previous 24 hours' email, which stretches from last night around 6 to today around 6. I then start work on the column, which takes me about three hours. During this time even more emails are coming in, generally written about the column that's still up. I post the column when I'm done, generally between 9 and midnight. A lot of times people will read it and, not seeing the email they sent in a few hours earlier, assume I didn't print their earlier email. So the next day I have two emails from them, and they end up confused as to why I seem to have held back their previous letters.

So the moral of the story is, if you send an email after about 5pm Central Time and you don't see your letter in that night's column, don't assume I haven't printed it. And now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Most versions of the song I'm familiar with have "Cheri", not "Cindy". But points for getting the reference. However, you lose those points and many more besides for being a dumbass Aggie and advertising that fact in the column. (For those of you wondering why I'm bringing this pointless interschool rivalry into the column, the answer is very simple. UT will repossess my diploma if I don't mock Aggies at every possible opportunity. I'm not kidding. Ok, I am kidding.)

As for if the PS2 is a good buy or not, I'd have to say that in your situation it's an excellent purchase. For about the same price as a high end graphics card, you get the most powerful console system on the planet, with a massive library of great titles already existent, and likely an equally great library of titles forthcoming. (Although you might not be able to play many PSX titles after seeing what the PS2 titles look like.) You also have guaranteed compatibility and online play, without blowing another thousand-odd bucks on a PC. If the criteria you listed are the only ones you actually care about, you'd be foolish not to buy a PS2.

Closing Comments:

As I predicted, I wasn't able to get into depth on any one topic, except for books, which a surprisingly large number of people sent in stuff about. Fun column none the less. AK's on tomorrow, send him lots of email because I shall be cross if you don't. Night, and see you next week.

-Chris Jones, blowing off the column to watch The Insider again