Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Gabe Logan vs. Solid Snake - only the best accordion player will survive! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Hmm... Final Fantasy X demo disk. Final Fantasy X demo disk. Hmm...

I should be able to make some intelligent comment about that, but aside from the obligatory "I'd sell my soul" joke (operators standing by, reasonable rates available) nothing comes to mind. I suspect that the demo disk in question is for FFXI, not X, since distributing such a disk to a large audience would be a better way of testing an online title, and FFX doesn't seem to have all that much in the way of online abilities. But that's just half-assed speculation, and I'm not all that inclined to go deeper, as it feels wrong to ponder two Final Fantasies in advance. Let's get past FFIX, then we can talk about demo discs.

Very interesting, LP. I hadn't considered that the new systems might actually be able to give us superior 2D graphics, as I pretty much tend to look at 2D as a nostalgia thing these days. (Not that I don't like nostalgia.)

But what you suggest is certainly plausible, as a couple of companies have already used existing platforms to give a unique 2D look - Saga Frontier 2's a prime example of this. I'm not sure how lighting effects etc. would apply to things that aren't actually 3D models, but perhaps you could have a game with 3D models that plays like a 2D platformer, like Donkey Kong Country for the SNES, but actually rendered on the system.

Or perhaps some enterprising graphics coder out there can come up with something completely unheard of, and make 2D the medium of choice once more. I'd pay good money to see such a thing, so developers take note.

Bad design and 3D games. All too common an occurrence, and surely a source of strife between the 2D and 3D communities. But bad design is hardly limited to 3D games. Those of you who remember the boom days of the NES will also remember the slew of third rate adventure and platform games with any number of problems: poor collision detection, slowdown, impossible difficulty levels, pathetically easy difficulty levels, indistinct graphics that made it hard to tell what was real and what was background, and the list goes on. Camera and control problems in 3D games are very irritating, but, I think, no more so than what we had in the past.

But at the same time, I can empathize with your desire for something simple. I've been playing games for so long now that any kind of 2D platformer is second nature to me - give me a gun, or a sword, or a bionic grapple, and I'm kicking ass with the best of them. It's almost a Zen experience, and it's not something I'd like to see gone in the future.

It's not true, none of it. In fact, you didn't read the above letter. There is no one named TGCid, and there never was. That's not blood on the floor, that's, er... ketchup. I spilled it last night off of my french fries. Yeah, that's the ticket. And Drew would never do such a thing, right, buddy?

[A glassy-eyed Drew emerges into the light, drooling slightly and mumbling incoherently. Chris takes hold of his wrist and "waves" to the crowd, then pushes Drew back behind the scenes.]

So you see, there's no problems here, right folks? Just keep on moving and there won't be any trouble. Good night, all.

By and large I'm all for progress, but in this case I have to stick up for Lunar. If someone was expecting us to swallow tile or tile-like games as new products that's one thing. But Lunar is a very definite attempt to cash in on old school urges. Working Designs has a very specific niche targeted with these games (Square as well, with FFA) and it does very well by exploiting that niche to the fullest. It's a reissue, and it's not fair to expect it to play against the cutting edge.

Personally I find Lunar redeemable because it has a good story, a relatively interesting battle system for an RPG, and a great translation. But there's no excuse to complain that it looks old school, because that's part of the package. It's like complaining that there's no four star restaurants on a camping trip. Deal with it or don't buy it, end of discussion.

Sound pretty accurate to me, not entirely unlike the situation we have now. And if you're an old schooler who's content to live on the dribs and drabs of the occasional 2D game thrown out, that's cool. Myself, I'll be gorging on the 3D buffet being served elsewhere, so see you around.

Well, to all of those who wanted a final answer regarding this question from yesterday, here it is. And no thanks are necessary, good citizen, it's all in a day's work for a superhero like myself! (Chris smiles cheesily, and waits for the end credits to role so he can get out of this stupid costume.)

Most of what I've read about Gradius III and IV suggest that they were quick attempts by Konami to get any kind of Playstation title out the door, and haven't been very well received as a result.

However, I do you think you have a point as to handheld gaming. I'm not personally a big fan of handheld systems, as there are other things I'd rather do on a trip, such as read a book. But from what I have seen, even if you do have the graphical firepower to put together polygons on the very small screen (i.e. Gameboy Advance) 2D is still the display style of choice. I personally wouldn't stare at a tiny LCD screen for hours on end to satisfy a 2D craving, but it should be an option for those among you who are truly desperate, you poor, damned fools.

Um, I don't wear shorts, ever. I think you've been having those disturbing dreams about me again, Eddie, and like I said before, I'm flattered but not interested. At all. Please just let this thing drop, and don't make me take out a restraining order on you.

I'm a software developer in the real world, so I know a bit about the interplay between marketing and development. Square strikes me as one of those rare companies that has it balanced just right, in that they always give a very clear and consistent message with their marketing, but at the same time turn out big projects that are technically flawless. Yes, translations are sometimes lousy, and smaller projects may not be perfectly programmed (FF6's emulation, frex) and you may disagree about some of the artistic choices made, but from a software standpoint, FF8 looked just about perfect to me. I can't see that more time would have done anything except made me more impatient for the game.

Ok, let's review. My job title is Double Agent. Double AGENT. I am not one of you freaky haute couture let's-save-the-world-from-the-evil-machines rebels, I AM The Matrix. I'm one of those guys that takes over the bodies of perfectly innocent drones and attempts to kill you people when you get out of line. What part of this do you not understand? Now stop calling this freaking number, and let me get back to work!

Closing Comments:

Something new for tomorrow, topic-wise, I think. Even now there's a few new letters in my mailbox regarding 2D, so if you've got some terribly important point to make, send it in. But otherwise, why don't we take a look at the black sheep of the gaming market, the N64. (Black sheep! Get it? Because the console's black and... ah, never mind.)

Perfect Dark is gonna be out soon, as is Ogre Battle 3, the new Zelda, and maybe one or two other good titles. But between the RPG deluge this summer and the PS2 launching this fall, not to mention the brave new world of online console gaming, is the N64 dead meat, or can it hang on long enough to see in the Dolphin era? Let's hear it from you good folks. Later.

-Chris Jones, "Look, I've got the cheap black suit and everything!"