What the hell day is today, anyway? - February 20th, 2000 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I would very much like to "rock and roll" all night, as well as party every-day. Don't say we didn't warn you.
Wouldn't it be weird if I were to write a weekend column instead Andrew doing it, as is normally the case, and rather than offering a reasonable explanation as to why, I simply opened up with a single run-on sentence in the form of a rhetorical question?
| Bigger is better? |
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Oh almighty-Coleslaw secret of the stars,
I think that gaming becoming a huge market will obviously hurt the gaming
community, if it's not already done. Take famous titles for examples. What
happened when Square wanted to conqueer the U.S market? They made Final
Fantasy Mystic Quest, a game for dumps and dumps. What happened when Square
wanted to make more money? They made FFVIII, certainly not as bad as FFMQ,
but not as good as previous titles.
What happen when you get a bigger audiance? You have to make more
sacrifices. You have to make everyone happy. Bill Clinton leading a country
of 1000 people would do a great job, but leading a country of millions is
something else. The big audiance we're talking about is the average people,
and average people prefer "babes on top of bloodshed" over creativity. See
what hapened with movies, that will be the same for videogames if we don't
protect our interests.
We'll have to make a rebellion.
-Cloud
P.S Manure Mouth
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Sure, if every game were created in a manner that catered to the general public, that may very well wind up being the case. But who's to say that more complex games which appeal to the more avid fans of gaming and the slightly lighter fare intended to attract those of casual interest can't exist simultaneously? And that, of course, is the subject of today's column.
P.S. Captain Spongemuffin
| No, I'm afraid that just won't do |
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Like most anime fans, gamers don't want games to become mainstream--they
want everyone in the mainstream to become gamers.
ZippoNiner
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Absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself. In fact, were I to have said it, I probably would have prattled on for several paragraphs using all sorts of big, multi-syllabic words in an attempt to make my argument seem more sound. Additionally, I'd have thrown in a bunch of shitty jokes to boot, eventually defeating my own purpose when people got tired of reading my crap and averted their eyes to the next letter in line. Like you're probably setting up to do right about now.
| Screw them all! |
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My opinion is simply this: If good games are too complex for the mainstream
audience to get into, screw 'em. All the more for us.
-SonicPanda
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Case in point.
| Hot 'n spicy |
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On Behalf of all Spice Girls fans anywhere and every, I demand that you
put up at least a small apology for those unflattering comments. Their
careers may never recover from this kind of publicity.
~Ian P.
P.S. The idea of serious looking middle-aged businessmen getting funky
with their bad selves in an arcade makes me want to hysterically giggle.
P.P.S. I would not be a happy camper should deep games be sacrificed for
simpler ones. I agree that the industry probably needs a few more user
friendly simple to play happy happy fun fun games though. Of course, to
really get into this type of discussion a clear definition of the
differences between Deep and Simple games needs to be made...Thankfully,
I'm too tired to make such an attempt.
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Ian, the Spice Girls could only wish for bad publicity at this point; at least it would be some form of publicity. As it stands, their fifteen minutes of fame have long since ended, and they could all admit to having formerly been men and the press wouldn't give half a crap.
P.S. The idea of middle-aged Japanese businessmen getting funky with their bad selves is even more amusing.
P.P.S. Avoiding a discussion altogether by fingering out the lack of clear, black-and-white definitions is always a good strategy. I managed to get through an entire poetry course by asking my teacher just what, really, is the difference between a blank sheet of paper and one with writing on it whenever it came time to pass in homework.
| Damn you all |
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Hey now, Tecmo's Secret of the Stars wasn't that bad of a game ... seriously ... look, it had an alien mothership okay, that makes it better than something ...
Ah hell, I can't finish this email with a clean conscience... it was a horrible game.
-cipher
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Damn you people. I've tried so hard to teach you that "conscience" and "morals" are simply artificial burdens placed upon us by society, and still you cling to these concepts like children to filth-crusted security blanket. All of my work has been in vain, I tell you.
| What on earth are they thinking? |
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Dear Drew, my little love muffin you
I just felt that I should say what a stupid idea it is to send a letter in
to Double Agent, about how offended you were over something Drew/AK/Big
Lick/AV said. It's not going to get a response that will dignify it, and you
will only end up looking stupid in front of everyone else who reads the
column, even those who agree with you. But what do you expect from someone
named after what an ameteur MTV comedian puts his ass on. I haven't willingly
watched wrestling since I was 13. And closing with a "can you smell what the
*fill in the blank* is cooking?" statement is just stupid. Now this isn't as
stupid as, say, writing an angry letter to MAD magazine, but it is about as
stupid as sodomizing a sheep right in front of its farmer, and denying the
whole thing. As for Brad (Ojuice). If there's only 5 american DW fans, that
puts me in the same 5 person group with one of the wussy guys from Nsync,
somebody who can't even spell Dragon Warrior correctly, and 2 more. So I
WOULD feel elite, and in a special crowd, if this weren't the equivelant of
having group sex with Mimi Rogers from the Drew Carey show, and a frail,
malnurished, see the bones through the skin supermodel. You know, like
getting both bad, extreme ends of the scale forced on you, in an activity
that you're SUPPOSED to enjoy.
Glad to be of service
-Gilbert
P.S. I like He-Man, the Goonies rock too. "We can get One-eyed Willies rich
stuff!" Was Spielberg thinking straight when he wrote that line?
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I sometimes wonder why people bother to send me irate letters of complaint, as well. See, if you disagree with me on a particular subject, that's fine; that's encouraged. I like people to point out something I may have not noticed myself, or to let me know why they feel I was incorrect. It keeps things interesting around here. You have your opinions, and I have mine. If you state your opinions in an intelligent, thought-out manner, you'll get a dignified response.
But then there's people who seem to feel that if they fire a poorly-spelled, ranting little epistle on subjects as inane as my personal opinion regarding, say, wrestling, I'm suddenly going to change my tune. I mean, if you're going to go out on a limb like that, at least spell-check the damned thing. But in the end it works out, really; they get to blow off some steam, and I get to call them morons. Everybody's happy.
| Just as forgiving with half the damned fat |
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Wow,
I really sounded like an jerk, huh. Sorry about that, I was pretty caught up in the moment, and one of my freinds had us all write off a quick letter, and I 'guess' I took it a step to far..
Anyway, im sorry for cracking about your name (Coleslaw), and all that stuff.
-Ojuice
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It's okay, I still love you. Even if you do like wrestling. As long as you except the fact that I will always leave the toilet seat up, I'll put up with your affinity for wrestling, and this relationship can work.
Closing Comments:
Bizarre.
-Drew Cosner
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