Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. My ambition went into remission. Don't say we didn't warn you.

I often anger small groups of people by making off remarks which are calculated to do just such. I enjoy being a pain in the ass. Due to school, I've been reading a lot of Freud lately, so I'm fully convinced that this need to be a thorn in the stocking of other unseen third parties stems from my latent sexual attraction to pregnant crocodiles or something screwed up like that. I'd also considered writing in a cryptic, completely incomprehensible manner so as to make others feel that they simply weren't intelligent enough to understand me, rather than realizing the truth of the matter. Of course, I think I already prattle on like a large enough ninny, so I guess I'm set. Anyway, I've managed to get Dragon Warrior and wrestling fans upset with me in the matter of but one column. Not bad.

Most RPG fans are in agreement that Final Fantasy VI had some of the finer character development to be found in the genre and in the series itself. For several reasons really. For example, all of the more important characters had strong backstories which not only made them seem more interesting in general, but gave them realistic motivations that the player could easily attach his or herself to. Additionally, these aspects of the characters were intertwined beautifully with the storyline, rather than being ancillary side-points of little interest in the end.

An example of poor character development would be Quistis in FFVIII. Within the first few hours of the game you find that she's a former SeeD with exceptional talent who had become an instructor for a short time before her ability to train came into question and she was asked to step down. By the end of the game you know that she's a former SeeD with exceptional talent who had become an instructor for a short time before her ability to train came into question and she was asked to step down; and she likes playing Triple Triad. That's pretty lame. She has a backstory, but it plays into the game very little. This was not the case with the cast of FFVI.

Conversely, the manner in which character's pasts and motivations were revealed was well-paced, rather than being thrown at you all at once or in large spurts. Again, pointing back to the Quistis example, she's developed near the beginning of the game all at once, and then from there on out she has very little attention paid to her as a character. And stuff.

So there you have it; a really long-winded reason why a lot of fans feel the character development in FFVI was tops. Always glad to force my opinion upon you readers.

While Parappa is certainly the current poster boy for the rhythm genre, I don't really think that his game was enough of a success to be considered the breakthrough title. It's definitely a great niche title that enjoyed a strong cult following, but the rhythm genre still has a long way to go before being given the same respect and sales figures of other, more established genres here in the West. But who knows, maybe another title featuring everybody's favorite canine thug-child will be the big'un. Oh, and I like the statue. I feel that it captures the essense of my strong ability to do whatever the hell it is that I do.

I tend to agree with your comments regarding some of these game developers and drug use. I seriously couldn't think up some of the crap that in its own strange, disconcerting way adheres to a certain form of logic. Super Mario Brothers is the classic example: save a princess from a giant dragon/turtle thing by grabbing mushrooms to enlarge your size and flowers to shoot fire. Huh? The sad part is that as a kid, I didn't even question that logic; it was just the way that it was.

And the rhythm genre is just as bad. Guide a rapping dog through multiple stages to win the heart of a talking flower thingy. I don't even have dreams that odd, and I'm not exactly the poster boy for normality.

I'd have to agree. However, RPGs eventually found success despite the existence of Beyond the Beyond, Tecmo's Secret of the Stars, and King Arthur and His Knights of Justice. Then again, it would take the combined suckage of all three of these titles thrown together to so much as hold a candle to the morbid, musical train wreck that was the Spice Girls videogame. The fact that their fifteen minutes of fame have long since ended, and they're about as hip and popular as "South Park" at this point is of little consolation. Should the rhythm genre rise above this black splotch to become a predominant one here in the West, it deserves some kind of documentary on A&E.

First of all, I've seen excerpts from that wrestling book because I have several friends into the crap; it is written at a third-grade level. Don't even try to argue that fact. And it's done in such a manner because many wrestling fans simply are not the sharpest pencils in the box. Does that mean all of them are this way? Certainly not.

Secondly, the fact that some wrestling fans are able to write intelligent pieces in regards to the sport means very little. There are people who write reviews about lewd pornography who use excellent prose and grammar. This does negate the fact that it is a rather unrespectable entertainment forum.

At any rate, if you like wrestling, it really shouldn't matter what I think. It was just something to insult, and bydangy I don't sit on my ass when opportunity's knocking at the door.

Brian Glick would win simply because he is able to shoot lasers from his eyeballs and turn people to stone just by mentioning their parents' names. Because of this he always wears dark glasses while in public and refers to everyone using pronouns just in case of an accident.

Rhythm games offer a style of gameplay that requires little patience to get into, making them accessible by all. Sure, the difficulty ramps up as the stages increase, but the titles are simple enough that anyone can get into it. I think this is something that will certainly help the genre to eventually appeal to the masses, and will also be a key role in allowing games in general to become mainstream. Whether or not this is a good thing or a bad, well, that's a whole other story. And would make a great topic for tomorrow, don't you think?

Generally I try to be fairly tactful in expressing my views of dissention, but are you some kind of moron? See, I said that there were "five Dragon Warrior fans." You'll note my use of exaggeration; a common extension of sarcasm. It is not truly my opinion that there are five Dragon Warrior fans. I would reverse my opinion, as you say, were that an actual opinion and not a joke. If you truly believe me to be under the impression that there are literally five Dragon Warrior fans, you're an idiot.

Although I appreciate your comedic alteration of my last name by using a misspelled form of the word "coleslaw," I have little choice but to openly mock you. However, kudos, as this is my first flame in quite some time, earning you a solid place in the Flamers' Corner.

Remember, although the Dick Award will write your homework assignments for a nominal fee , it will never be your true friend and it is doing it simply for the monetary gain.

Closing Comments:

Okay, we'd all like to see gaming become a mainstream entertainment forum. After all, more gamers means more revenue, which means more companies making more games. More companies making more games means we'll see more risqué unique titles. And it's nice not to be considered a dork because of your hobby, to boot. However, there are trade-offs involved in achieving said status. Games will need to be simplified in such a manner that they attract those not normally big fans of gaming; people that don't want to spend 3 hours picking up the control system. This could easily hurt the overall depth of certain titles.

Then again, maybe there's a place for both simplistic and deeper games. But I've said enough -- I want to hear what you readers think. So send me a letter, okay?

-Drew Coleslaw