Double Agent
The past, the present, the future - November 6th, 1999 - Andrew Kaufmann

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. Remember to keep those receipts, April 15th is only 6 or so months away! There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say we didn't warn you.


It's Saturday night. Or Sunday morning, depending on your perspective. Whatever you call it, let's have some fun. Let's have some letters. Wooha!

Chrono Trigger coming back to the U.S.?

hey wuz up. You got a awesome site. I was just wondering if you knew anything about the crono trigger remix for ps in the states. I would kill to ge that over here so if you could inform me with any info you know it would be greatly appreciated


Aw, shucks. I'm just a sucker for GIA compliments. Thanks, man. Anyway, several of you asked this very question. Officially, there is no word on the game; Square hasn't made an announcement either way. Signs appear to be pointing toward a port of the game, though, so let's keep hoping.

The forgotten anniversary

Drew isn't Canadian? *Blinks* Hmmm. What the hell is he then?

Sigh. I am left the sad duty of informing you of this am I? Look at the date...Look at the date and weep manly tears of manly sorrow.

We missed. I remembered too late. I must take some of the blame myself...I was not hardc0re enough.

~Ian P., Senior Member of SaaaaaD.


Believe it or not, Drew is not from Canada. He's from the glorious state of Ohio (Official motto: Stop now, or you'll accidentally wander into Indiana). Be sure to make fun of him.

It is with deep remorse that yes, we missed the anniversary of Double Agent. In fact, we missed the anniversary for the entire GIA, as Double Agent was the first section to go up (Allan was chomping at the bit while the rest of us were getting the site ready for prime time, so we launched him early). We were planning on doing something special for the date, as an entire site, but we kinda forgot. Oops. It's not your fault, Ian. We must all shoulder the blame.

Short statement

Final Fantasy VII is without a shadow of a doubt the finest game in the series.


Well, that was a brief statement. I'll counter with a shorter one: I disagree.

I might as well say why, just for the sake of lengthening this column a little. The game is complex, fun, realistic, and really cool, but it's also very flawed. Character development was weak, in my opinion. The materia system blew. The music was Nobuo's weakest work (with certain exceptions scattered throughout the score). The ending was weak.

That having been said, FFVII is still a far better RPG than most any out there. But not within the Final Fantasy series.

A plea for silence

A.K.,

I was going to write a big letter, but it got too.... stupid. I just want to say this. If you spend 50 bucks on a game, enjoy it. Sure, if it's bad enough, you can be angry. But stop writing editorials about one or two misspellings. Stop going on rants about a few gameplay mechanics. CG sequences take up the same amount of time as in game cinematics do. No matter how bad Farris sounds, being able to throw money at enemies since you're a samurai makes up for it completely.

In short, quit yer bitchin' and enjoy the game. Look for some good points. You did when you first played RPGs, do it now.

Mike Drucker


Good advice. Very good advice. Let's all live in peace and have fun. I think one of the reasons so many people write about the subject, though, is in the hopes their desperate pleas will be read by gaming companies (read: Square) and lead to massive improvement. Yeah, right.

Movie question

I've been wondering this for quite a while. Why don't you ever zip the 20 meg movie files?


Because we like to make you readers have to spend many, many hours downloading them. Ha, ha, ha. Actually, they're a compressed video format. If you were to try compressing the already compressed movie files into a zip format, you would have minimal results. Just a few bytes.

There's also been several complaints about the format... Brian Glick, our movie compression person, used a new Quicktime variable compression thing, or something, and it seems to flubbing some people's computers. We'll have them posted in a different compression format soon, but they'll be bigger.

The Saga of Frontiers

I was going to write a big explanation, but it's so obvious why SaGa Frontier 2 will be not only the best game of the year but the entire decade that I decided not to waste precious seconds.


Yeah, well, I said the same thing about Saga Frontier. So now I know better. I hear Saga Frontier 2 is an improvement, though.

A sleepy problem

AK, you gotta help me.

I've fallen victim to those silent but deadly killers of the daytime. I'm talking, of course, about... Naps. And not just any naps mind you, but POWER NAPS; you know, those naps that last for about 4 hours. I just can't shake 'em. No matter how hard I try not to, I somehow manage to pass out for hours, only to wake up disheveled and confused. Then I can't sleep at night, which makes me even more tired the next morning and afternoon, which makes me take another nap. It really is ruining my life, and it's getting to the point where I sleep MORE during the day, than at night. And you don't know what it's like living like this, cause man, during the time I'm awake some weird-ass stuff goes on; I don't know if it's just my screwed up sense of reality caused by my unhealthy sleeping habbits, or if I just go to one wack-ass school, but it isn't good.

And yes, I know your thinking right now "Why don't you just force yourself to stay up during the day, so you can sleep at night?". Well, it's not that easy, and believe me, I've tried. After I walk in from working out, or skateboarding, or whatever my daily exercise might be and take a shower, it doesn't matter what I do, I'll always fall asleep. One time, I was even on my computer and I don't know what the hell happened, but the next thing I know, I woke up an hour and a half later with keyboard keyshapes imbedded into my forehead. Do you have any of your all knowing advice that you can offer me?

Dazed and confused and looking like a zombie,
-Mikey B.


Mickey, I could have written that letter myself. I am in the very same boat as you are. Because of college, my sleep schedule is upside down. Well, I can't blame it entirely on college. Naps feel so good, though... I just can't resist them!

I'm in the same pattern as you. I go to bed late, wake up early, then am forced to take a nap to regain my sanity. Now, for a couple of weeks, I got into a normal sleep pattern, and it only took me a day to get into it. One day, I was just so busy I couldn't find time to sleep. I was able to stay awake, and I went to bed at 9:00 that evening and slept until 8:00 the next morning.

As I look at the clock, it's 3:24, and I won't be in bed for a while. It's all good, though. Because I'll nap. And the pattern will continue.

Now, I personally can adjust pretty easily to whatever sleeping pattern I need. If you can't, and it's causing serious problems in your life, then I suggest calling your doctor. He can probably help you out.

Graphics

I jst wantd tu go on te recerd as sayin final fanasy six blowz...

But really, what does a guy do when he really wants to play a game, but can't get by the fact that the graphics SUCK? I just can't do it. is something wrong withme? I loved Xenogears, but Graphics were a major part. With Lunar, I don't think I could have played the original, it had such bad graphics compared to what I'm used to. So to all those people that complain about graphics, I say to imagine playing your favorite RPG with little pixels on a blank screen. It's just not as fun. I like reading, but in books, they still paint a pretty picture in your head. I can stand countless hours of level building, but only if the battles are fun to watch. Ah, maybe I'm just a newbie... Oh, and I also have this thing about washed out browns and greys. just makes me depressed....

Max(stirring a little controversy into your day....)

Chibi-Id says- I enjoy level building! It's fun to sit in front of a T.V. for hours on end! Just like you did with Xenogears, Max! ^_^


I love nice graphics. I'll never claim that I don't; they really add to a game. I can enjoy a game with bad graphics, though, without any problem. It's probably because I remember playing Super Mario Brothers and pointing out what good graphics it had. Whenever I say to myself, "These graphics suck," I just think about the original first video game I owned, the original NES Baseball (games in this day didn't have titles like Baseball 2000, or Super Fastball Strikeout 2000, etc, it was just "Baseball" or "Tennis"). After such a trip down memory lane, the graphics just aren't that bad.

Yaroze

Do any of you GIA staff members tinker with yaroze?

Just curious,
ziG


None of do. I've thought about it, and thought it would be fun, but it's an expensive proposition. Not enough interest on my part to delve that deeply into the piggy bank (not that the piggy bank has that much money in it).

In the Year 2001

Hey Drew,

The following is a script I wrote fo the Conan O'Brien Show that I hope gets made. Though i bet it won't I want someone to see it. Please print this.

Conan O'Brien: Well Andy, it is time once again to look into... the future!

Andy Richter: The future, Conan?

Conan: Yes, Andy, the future. However, because everything for in the year 2000 is known, let's look a little further in the future. Into the year 2001!

Band member who says "In the year 2000" on the show: In the year two thoulsand oneeeee, in the year two thoulsand oneeeeeeeeeeeeeeee... Conan: In an attempt to lose it's cutesy image, Nintendo releases the very controversial game, Cute Puppy Killer 5.

Band member: In the year two thoulsand oneeeeeeeeeeee...

Andy: Sega releases a new, extra AI upgrade for the Dreamcast. Unfortunatly, because of this upgrade, the Dreamcast actually becomes alive, and starts World War 3.

Band member: In the year two thoulsand oneeeeeeeee...

Conan: Nintendo releases the Dolphin system. Then six months later, the N64 DD is finally released.

Band member: In the year two thoulsand oneeeeeeee...

Andy: Final Fantasy 9 is released in America on the Playstation 2, with an amazing storyline, complete 100% voicework throughout the game by big-time Hollywood actors, cinemas made with the help of Industrial Light and Magic, a completely new, innovative, and easy to use battle system, but sales slump, because of the idea to name every single character in the game, "Bob".

Band member: In the year two thoulsand oneeeeeee.

For more of this type of humor, (but most of it much better) check out www.nbc.com/conan

-Triumph, the Insult comic dog
P.S. I think Fritz is the best editor here... FOR ME TO POOP ON!


Ah, a tribute to one of my favorite skits on Conan O'Brien. Funny stuff. Very funny stuff. Thanks for the letter.


Closing Comments

In this spot, I could talk about what music I'm listening to, or some random thoughts from the top of my head... but I don't think I will.

-Andrew Kaufmann

 
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