I'm your super hero - October 27th, 1999 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Get in touch with your feminine side, you little queer. Don't say that I didn't warn you.
I like to live vicariously. So, live on the edge a little. Read this column at work, or in the school's computer lab when you're supposed to be typing up a report, don't just read it at home. Wait until your boss or teacher is mere inches away before minimizing the browser window. I'll get a real kick out of knowing that's what you're doing, as I sit at home playing fishing simulations in my underwear and cramming down Pringles and Pepsi.
C'mon, get a little crazy. Eat the column the wrong way. Squeeze the column all that you can, while Mister Wiffle's not around. Start a few forest fires while screaming out my name.
Wait, check that last one.
| Dreamcasting |
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I have just a little question for Sega about their cable modem for the
Dreamcast. How are they gonna put it in? With the 56k modem built in,
your gonna have to first take out the modem and then hook-up the cable
modem. Not only that, but the cable modem will obviously cost a little
extra dinero, plus with the 56k built in, how is the average gamer gonna
be able to properaly install it? Damn, it's a little too serious. Uh,
that flamer yesterday was a butt-pipe! There.
-Solidus
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The cable modem will either go in place where the orignal modem was, since it's removeable, or through the IO port, in the same manner that the 64DD would have attached to the N64 had it been released. And it won't be released, so don't even bother asking me questions about that. Anyway, Sega of Japan is gearing up to run a trial program of sorts. Costs involved to the end user remain to be made known, but if the cable modem trial run does well in Japan, I'd expect to see it make its way stateside, as well.
| There's nothing wrong with lying in order to get your letter printed |
Hey Drew,
There's something that I have wondered for a long time, but never thought
to ask. A letter in 10-25-99 column reminded me of it. What is the
percentage of female gamers out there? I'm a female myself (I'm 20, been
playing since I was 6-ish, first system Intellivision!!! ) Anyway, how many
female gamers are there out there, and why do the salespeople give me funny
looks when I ask video game questions???
-On a side note: I picked up my boyfriend of almost 2 years at EB!!!! Video
Games Rule. Oh, and if I wasn't already taken, You're kinda cute! (that's a
shameless attempt to get my letter printed).
-Oogopogo
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There is no reply possible on my part that can even hope to equal the laughter you derived from typing out that obsequious line of flattery, so I won't bother trying to make my response humorous. Instead, I'll just answer your question like a good little columnist.
Unfortunately, there's really no scientific figure available. There have been polls made on various web sites and in monthly magazines, but that's about as far as any survey has gone. As such, I may as well give you the figure we ended up with back when we ran our reader poll a while ago. According to that, The GIA's readership is approximately 8% female. How accurate that is, I leave to you to decide, but it sounds like a solid range to me.
| Teach Yourself Latin in 126 Years |
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Here's some more information for you:
Nucleus in Latin means "little nut".
Now you know 2 Latin words. Pretty soon you'll be fully competent in
Latin. Just keep working on it.
-Killer~Medic
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I can't tell you how enjoyable it is to know that my body has millions of little nuts floating about within its composition. Thanks for sharing that small piece of trivia with me, Killer. I look forward to the day when enough readers will have sent me various Latin terms that I will be fully fluent in the language.
It will only take about another 124 years of hosting this column before that day will arrive. I await it with bated breath.
| Be happy or we will cut you |
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Good Lord, Cosner, you've given me WAY too much to write
about. I guess I'll start with my response to that guy's shameless attempt to make FF5's plot appear to have substance.
What the CRACK are you smoking, lad?! You dismiss all of
FF6's twists and turns and betrayals as unworthy of inclusion into your summary, and yet you give mention to the minor detail of Butz's father? RPGe wasted their brilliant efforts on translating that. You did, however, manage to mirror almost exactly my observations of the odd/even phenomenon. Have a cookie.
Anyway, on to the important topic: Uematsu. My observation of
people's complaints about his more recent work is that it's become too
movie-like, so if hew does FFM's score we're probably in for a treat.
I've got to say, it, too. He HAS been focusing more on the epic FMV
music than on the ambient stuff. His form has become much too
passive. Back in the so-called "golden age of RPG's" (a term which
is, at best, amusing and, at worst, insidious and contemptible), a
picture wasn't worth nearly as many words as a piece of music, and the
translations were cut, censored, and then cut again before the US ever
saw them. Most of my emotional attachment to FF6's characters came
from the music, but these days we have (Heaven forbid) FACIAL
EXPRESSIONS and the like to convey such things.
But retire? Never. I'd rather see every last drop of the
man's talent come under the spotlight than see him retire with glory,
but a few good notes left in him. Besides, he said himself that he's
always happy. He loves his job, and I wouldn't wish retirement on him
for love or for money.
An interesting issue to think about, though, is what will
happen to Square if it buries its core members and contributors?
Sakaguchi may be one of a kind, and so is Amano, but as much as it
pains me to say this, there are a lot of good composers out there besides Uematsu.
Square has always put a lot of effort into the scores to their games
(remember when that meant points?), and there'll always be a worthy
composer to carry the torch (Yasunori Mitsuda has really done a superb
job with Chrono Cross, for instance).
Well, this is little more than a hodge-podge, possibly
hackneyed collection of thoughts, but I figured I'd put in my ten
cents on the matter that matters most to me.
And how does ego-face get a smartass award while I just get
mockery? I'll cut you.
-Zen
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I agree with what you're saying, although I feel the presence of visible emotion on the part of a game's characters doesn't necessary nullify the need for a moving soundtrack. Final Fantasy VI had a score which set the mood for every last area of the game. Some examples that stand out in my mind are Narshe and the Magitek factory.
While the cut scenes may fare just fine with an ambient song to back them, I still feel that the towns, dungeons, and other areas of exploration, namely the overworld map, need to have a sound that sets the mood appropriately. I'm admittedly a stickler for sound in a game; if the songs aren't fitting and catchy, and if they are tinny or stuck in mono, I'm disappointed.
I like that last line, by the way. That's the kind of curt sarcasm that I endorse in this column. We'd considered changing The GIA's motto to "be happy or we will cut you," but in the end it was decided that our current Latin one was more appropriate.
| The ever-changing face of the Final Fantasy series |
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I actually think that Uematsu is as good a composer as he was with the
SNES. He hasn't changed: FF has.
When you were playing in a SNES with sprites 16 pixels tall, the only
thing you could do to express emotions was either to struggle making
facial gestures with such tiny people (something that only FFVI managed
to do, BTW) or cheat, using something else. Like music, for example. So
Uematsu created tracks that were designed to sit in the front of the
graphics, to express what mere images could not.
But in the Playstation, you have these huge 3D modeled characters, and
the ocasional CG cinema. So now that you have a huge interactive movie
(and very fun intercative movie, I may add before I'm flamed), Uematsu
writes scores that are designed to complement what the images are
conveying. He has become more of a movie composer than a videogame
composer.
That is not bad, IMHO. Actually, I believe the FVIII soundtrack is one
of his finest works since FFVI. "Succession of Witches" is the coolest
villain theme I have ever heard, along with "Fithos Lusec Vicos Winosec"
(played during the Deling Parade). "Don't Be Afraid" is simply the best
Final Fantasy battle theme out there: I got tired of FFVII's after a
while, and FFVI's eventually started to annoy me. But this is the first
battle theme that I don't mind hearing over and over... And "Liberi
Fatali" is simply the best intro music for a videogame *ever*!
But what we must remember is that Uematsu is changing, both as a human
and as a composer. We can't expect him to be static and to write the
FFVI score over and over. What made FFVII's soundtrack somewhat poor was
that it was the vehicle of some of his bolder experiments, experiments
that have paid off in FFVIII. If soundtracks like FFVIII is the price I
must pay for results like in FFVIII, that's a price I'm willing to pay.
And he is not forgetting the old fans of the series either. The
Prelude is still there, as is the Final Fantasy Theme. The fact that
none of them is in "pure" form but mixed with other melodies doesn't
bother me; in fact, I find it more exciting. Even the first notes of the
Battle Theme are in the game: you know, those notes that could be heard
at the beginning of most battle themes (FFI & FFVI, for example) or boss
themes (FFIV)? Listen to "The Extreme", when the chords fade away and
the battle music kicks in and you'll find them. Is that cool or what?
And to end this lenghty letter that I know won't be printed, I must
add that one of the reasons why Uematsu has "grown worse" is because we
fans are way too picky. Half an hour ago I was playing the FFVIII
original soundtrack in my laptop while I was doing my homework, and a
couple of my friends that were sitting beside me (one of them a music
buff) asked me what simphony it was. The track was "The Legendary
Beast"... I think this speaks about the quality of Uematsu's work.
Me? I want to see Uematsu write the music for the series until they
end. And the Final Fantasy Movie, too. 2 hours of Umetasu's orchestrated
works... Hmmmm....
Saludos desde Mexico!
Cheers!
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I keep telling you people that you shouldn't type out your belief that your letter won't get printed within the message itself. But you just won't listen to me. You seem to think that there's some kind of rhyme or reason to the letters I choose to print; as though I actually have a specific formula or method to me decision making process.
Well, that may be the case to some extent, but let me assure you that there are only a few circumstances in which a letter will be immediately dismissed and not considered for posting in the column. These include letters that consist only of the word "fuck" written entirely in uppercase letters, letters that babble on for pages without making any actual point whatsoever, or any letters that have been marked as "extremely urgent" by the sender, because that just pisses me off.
Now that I've cleared that up a bit, I'll even bother to reply to your letter, because I'm a swell person like that. I do agree that any musician can keep cranking out tunes that are in the exact same style as his or her previous work. No matter how talented someone is, he can't keep his style perfectly static without it either beginning to grow stale, or without that person becoming unmotivated and bored with the work.
Although he has kept some common staples in his music from song to song, such as the chord that you mention, he has also continued to experiment with new sounds and textures, keeping things fresh. And nobody can hit the mark right on the head every time.
| Respect the authority |
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Ah, music, my area of expertise... or interest at least.
I must say the only Final Fantasy games I have played through that have Mr.
Uematsu's music in them are 6, 7, and 8. But just from what I've heard of
those, I believe he is a superb composer. I mean, envision flying toward
Vector on the Blackjack and haveing no Empire theme in the background, or
walking through Balamb Garden with utter silence. It just dosn't seem
right. Music sets the mood for an occasion. If an ugly theme plays,
chances are that's not the time so-and-so is going to declare his/her
undying love for someone else. Likewise, you don't find the softest and
most euphonic of music in dungeons or during battles (Exception: JENOVA:
Birth).
I happen to think Uematsu is up to the task of creating more music, whether
it be for a Final Fantasy movie or for FFX, etc. But one thing must be
underlined and have several stars put by it. Box it a few times as well.
Music is a matter of TASTE. Now, I'm not saying if you go up to a grand
piano and bang out several random notes, that it will be likeable to some
people. I'm saying that real music is simply a matter of taste. For
example: The entire soundtrack of FF8. Some say it was a big
disappointment. I downloaded it.
And another thing, I'm not saying Uematsu is THE AUTHORITY on game music. I
appreciated several of the tracks from Chrono Trigger as well as a few
little-known PC games. There's a reason his name is third on the credits
list only to Sakaguchi and Kitase (producer and director), above programmers
and artists alike: Without Uematsu's achievements, the game may very well
have been Mr. Sakaguchi's "Final Fantasy."
~Cid Reincarnate
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I agree that music is greatly responsible for framing a scene. Without a fitting song to go along with the moment, it loses its impact. As a rather exaggerated example, try to picture the approach to Vector aboard the Blackjack with a marching band playing in the background. Okay, so that's a pretty stupid analogy, but you get the point.
| Lowered expectations |
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Good day to you, Drew. Yesterday you mentioned that you've been told that
sophisticated and charming men exist. These legends are true. How do I
know, you say? Why, I am one, of course! Need proof? I can waltz. Really
well. I rest my case. Be a chap and alert the ladies. Thank you.
-Mr. James
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To order a date with this member of Team Rocket, dial 129 on your touch tone keypad now.
| You've outlived your usefulness |
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I belive that the PSX2 will have a MIDI system that can pump out
Redbook quality sound. So they won't need Redbook audio.
-BeerGoggles_FromMARS
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I'd tend to agree, actually. I also feel that we may not see much more full motion video on the upcoming systems as the graphics that they're capable of already rival pre-rendered animation anyhow. And why bother with the costs inherent in FMV when you can just make the actual game engine will do just as well?
Redbook audio may very well wind up becoming obsolete. While it sounds excellent, interactive music isn't a possibility when it's put to use.
| A theory submitted for your perusal |
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Hey Drew! :D
Well, just got FFA and upon going into the Phantom Train....I finally came
up with a theory on Siegfried....o_O Yes, the freakish caped monkey boy's
secret has been revealed! :D.....I think. Anyways...alright, before I
mention a few things, i'm only at Zozo right now, and haven't played FF6
since 1996, so some areas may not be as clear(particularly Shadow's dreams).
Okay, first off, in one of Shadow's dreams, he and Baram steal that money
and hide it...it was near Phantom Forest, right? Well, when Siegfried first
appears in the game, he shows up in the Phantom Train, stealing something
from that one chest you were unable to get to. Perhaps he was going back to
pick up the money he left behind all those years ago? Of course, he wouldn't
recognize Clyde at that time, because he's dressed up as Shadow. Also, he
hides behind a outfit, just like Shadow. Maybe to hide his identity? Neither
one would suspect the other of being Clyde/Baram, because both might assume
the other is dead. Baram was a thief, and every time you see Siegfried in
the game, he's busy stealing some treasure. Siegfried never comes off as
much of an enemy, besides when you fight him in the Train, but he was
probably trying to guard that huge amount of money stored away in
there...well, there's my theory. :p Siegfried is Baram, and Baram is
Siegfried! Look for my future sequal "Squall is Mog, and Umaro is Seifer in
drag! Shake it, sexy! ;p"
-Darrow "Monkeys don't come in boxes, they come in barrels!"
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Where were you on Conspiracy Day, Darrow? You propose an interesting theory. Anybody out there have some thoughts on the matter?
| A love letter |
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Hey, you stupid bitch, why didn't you do a column yesterday? I should kick you in the balls and stick a cheese grater up your ass.
-Little Timmy
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Actually, Timmy, I did write yesterday's column. Unfortunately, as I was preparing to post it to the site, I noticed the Scat Signal roving about the sky, calling upon the powers of Scat Man. The city needed my aid once more, so donning my cape and costume, I headed down to my subterannean garage where I met up with my loyal and trusting sidekick, Fetish Boy.
It seemed that my arch-nemesis, Stephen Hawk, the evil and insidious genius, had attempted to create a Black Vortex of Voidednessocity square in the center of my beloved city. Oh, and he poisoned the town's water reserves as well. Something had to be done.
In traditional style, I crapped into Hawk's paraplegic mouth in front of a gathered crowd of people. This resulted in his running off in extreme embarrassment. Meanwhile, Fetish Boy took advantage of the fact that he's merely an expendable sidekick by drinking all of the fouled water himself.
But rest assured that I still love my readers; even more than I enjoy banishing crime. If you'll click on the link in the "recent columns" portion of the blue table to the right, I think you'll find a little surprise. Days shall no longer be missed, my friends.
Closing Comments
I suppose that after all I've given you, you still want a topic specified for tomorrow's column, huh? Alright, well enough. I have certain expectations to live up to. What do you guys think about the return of Enix to America? What do you hope and expect to come of this? Tell me, okay? Thanks, you're too kind.
-Drew Cosner
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