Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot.

OK, people, when I suggested you ask what Brian Glick's shoe size is, I didn't intend for you to actually ask what his shoe size is. So many of you asked, it has driven me to illness. Actually, it was more likely the fault Mr. Andrew Vestal, who just got over being ill.

A side-effect is that I'm not going to answer questions about the Junction system in this column... it's such a complex behemoth of a system (FF8 includes about a half-dozen tutorials on it) that thinking about how to go about explaining it is giving me a headache the size of Glick's feet. As such, I'm going to hand that off to the big Fritz Fraundorf, who is filling in for a vacationing Drew.

To soothe your Glick fantasies, however, I went to the Slick One himself and asked him his shoe size. Ladies, prepare to be astonished...

As his shoe size is so incredibly cool that he doesn't know it himself!

And you thought Canadians were weird.

Well, as Pete Bartholow pointed out the other day, it's really pretty useless. Either a gun or a sword would be lethal enough on its own. It's all about the coolness factor. A gunblade just sounds cool.

My understanding of it is that you shoot the gun portion while swinging the blade, so you shoot them and slice them. Sounds like a bad blender, doesn't it?

My honest opinion is that it's not worth an import. I've seen it in action, and the most complimentary thing I can say about it is that it's a neat novelty. It's incredibly small, which is nice, but the screen size is about the size of an average watch face. It's hard to make a game fun and creative in such a small space.

Support for it in U.S. games will be very small. Since the Pocketstation isn't coming to the U.S., companies have no reason to spend the energy porting the mini-games.

It thinks it's cooler than pepperoni on rye.

The obvious answer is, of course, the testicles of grapes, which in plants is generally a pod of some sort holding seeds or pollen to pollinate with other plants and procreate the species.

Grape-nuts, however, are a misnomer. They are in fact little pieces of cotton left over between Brian Glick's toes when he takes off the mysteriously-sized socks that protect his mysteriously-sized feet from his mysteriously-sized shoes.

I can sympathize with the fact that you miss Drew, but I am now officially insulted. Don't you love me equally? I feel betrayed. I don't like you anymore.

Pornographic computer games have been a PC staples for years, but they've yet to proliferate the console gaming world. As far as I know. I really don't keep up that much.

As of right now, FF8 is coming to PC, but FFA is not.

Closing Comments

Time to hand off to Fritz. Hope yall have an enjoyable Labor(less) Day!

Until next time,

-Andrew Kaufmann