I thought a bit about your challenge, and I realized that there are at least two settings I'd love to see played out in RPG style.

The first, for me, would be an RPG set in the future. The FAR future. Our heros would include such classics as the young imperial knight questioning his role in the space forces of his country, the genetically engineered girl with strange powers and a hidden past, and the mysterious special agent who has allied himself with our hero, but speaks nothing of his true agenda. Instead of making the technology the backdrop, make it central to the game, with an evil alien menace possessing incredible powers slowly revealing themselves. By integrating the alien technology into their own resources, the heros become the only ones who can stop the nightmarish horde. Imagine such jewels as RPG-style ship to ship combat, or hunting down that engineer hidden character so you can upgrade your weapons with that black box you found in one of the bonus dungeons, off on some deserted planet far from the heart of the game. Well, I'd like it.

For those who want a more fantasy flare to their fun, I offer the following. An RPG set in the backhills of feudal Japan. Our heros? Various priests, monks, and shamans of the colorful religious history of Japan. The enemy? A seemingly unending army of Oni (traditional Japanese devil/goblins, for those who didn't know) threatening the region, from which the unstable government is unable to adequately protect them (there are plenty of points in Japanese history where the central government's power is weak). Skills could be developed in the light of 'combat techniques' which would be based on each character's religion, colored by his or her personality. For example, a shinto priestess may specialize in attack or defence magic; one buddhist monk may specialize in combat but another may be more inclined for healing; by purchasing each skill seperately and allowing characters at least some acess to all the skills of their religion, you could force characters to learn whatever you wanted or needed, while keeping their personality or 'flavor' alive. Hidden characters could include the only government-appointed samurai protector in the region, or a wandering Christian priest (who would have access to a number of otherwise unavailable skills; he would also promptly be cut from the american release- natch).

As for beating citizens with table legs to garner wealth and power, I've heard some table-top RPGers play that way. I pray for their souls.

-Jason Morrow

I would put my RPG in a college setting, it would have the most variety I would think. You would get experience for going to classes and taking out those teachers no one can understand because they speak some foreign language. Of course the real experience comes from parties after classes are done. Experience and money (if you do it right) if you win at Beer Pong or Beirut. Massive experience point bonus if you can score at the party. Keep in mind this is coming from a college student dreading heading off to the next class.

-Tim Babcock

Porn. Complete, Hardcore, Triple X porn. That hasn't been done. At least here in america it hasn't. Damn Japanese perverts. Ahh well....

-El Devistador

Looking for the latest RPG challenge? Prepare yourself for Legend of the Final Dragoon Arms Fantasy Gaiden (LFDAFG). You begin as a teenager renting games at the local Blockbuster with your geeky friend Melvin and your cat, Harry. One day you arrive at the local Blockbuster to discover all the RPGs have been stolen! You, Melvin, and Harry decide to find out what's wrong, traveling from Blockbuster to Blockbuster across the land, looking for RPGs and shaking down kids trying to use the Pokemon Snap machine for extra gil.

You eventually make it to the West Coast and stumble into the Working Designs studio. An evil force has prevented them from creating a final vocal mix for their latest RPG. You learn that a triad of evil warlords has taken control of the gaming industry and mandated that all new games must either be racing games, sports sims, or monster ranchers. Enraged, you battle the staff at Working Designs in a fierce boss battle. After defeating them, they give you the keys to a powerboat and advise you to continue your search on the Eastern Islands. Just as you are about to leave, a young girl who has been voicing Nall offers to join your party. She has healing magic, among other, er, assets, so you oblige her.

Before boarding the boat, you discover a mysterious, disheveled man on the docks. He tells you to gather The Elemental Memory Cards, which when combined will unleash the overwhelming power of Data and destroy the three warlords. He then vanishes, but not before everyone realizes that he'll be back.

Finding the Memory Cards (Babbage, Wal-Mart, Electronics Boutique, and Kay-Bee) is an optional side quest, but one that endows your party with enough strength to make it through the rest of the game without risking a single HP. To get the Cards, you must first find an island between the West Coast and the Eastern Islands. Once you find it, you will fight a series of boss battles against enraged islanders sick of adventurers showing up and wandering through their houses without so much as knocking. If you defeat the entire village, they will give you a Tide Map. This map is synched to the actual tides that occur throughout the year. Over the course of the next eight months, you will be able to visit stores on remote islands accessible only on the day that the tides are right. If you miss the day, you will need to wait another eight months. But the weapons are REALLY powerful.

Once you reach the Eastern Islands, you must journey from town to town until you locate the first of the three Warlords, known as Sega. After entering their Headquarters Building, you must survive random encounters with hedgehogs and bandicoots until you reach the top level, where you will fight the Sega Boss, known as Dreamcaster. This boss will anticipate your moves and call you bad names, exploiting your deepest fears, which it has learned through sensors implanted in the thumbstick. You really want the Memory Cards for this battle. Once Dreamcaster is available, the Mysterious Stranger appears again and offers to pilot the Sega Airship for you.

You are flown to the domain of the second Warlord, Sony. There are no battles here, only a series of maddening puzzles in which you must attempt to decode release dates and remove "sensitive" material from games in order to open doors to reach the highest level. Once there, you step into a portal that takes you to the third Warlord, Nintendo.

This level is extremely difficult. Pokemon and Italian plumbers attack you almost constantly. Use the Memory Cards to wipe them out or die. Those are the choices. When you reach the top of this tower, you must fight a series of three boss battles, first defeating Mario, then Pikachu, then Link. The Mysterious Stranger appears to congratulate you and reveals himself to be...Bernie Stolar! He tells you that the battle is not yet over, and teleports you to the REAL enemy, known only as Square. Square is a giant one-winged angel who immediately kills your female friend and your cat in a moving FMV sequence. You, Bernie, and Melvin must now defeat him using the Memory Cards. This causes a chain reaction that erases all known copies of platformers and sports sims, replacing them with Lunar and Final Fantasy III (U.S.).

For your efforts, you are rewarded with an EX Game mode, in which you can play all of Chrono Trigger or the uncensored scene from UmJammer Lammy.

Reserve your copy now and receive a free photocopy of a map, the chance to win a Kia Sefia, and a demo disc of Fantasy Gaiden Arms Dragoon Ogre II, in which you can live the same adventure from the perspective of Melvin's left shoe.

-Pilcrow

I'd like to see a RPG depicting the fall of Lucifer and the strife caused in heaven by his being cast out and the subsequent fall of his supporters. I feel that this story would have plenty of room for drama and intrigue, and the thirst for flashy effects would be sated by the depictions of the beauty of heaven, the massive battles between the godly and the fallen angels, the horrors of hell, the beauty of Lucifer, the might of the Archangels and the majesty of Yahweh. The main character would be a lower angel who is tempted by the whisperings of Lucifer and must decide his course of action. Most if not all RPG's are some depiction of the ongoing battle between good and evil, and many involve the Ultimate Good versus the Ultimate Evil, but I have yet to see one that shows the FIRST battle. Since most RPG's are developed in Japan, however, it would be difficult to get a purely Judeo-Christian background to the story and it would probably wind up offending quite a lot of people. If done well, however, it could be really incredible.

Wulfgang

Hola Drew, Here's an RPG setting I'd love to see, and while it may not be funny, it's still a pretty cool idea, IMO.

It's the classic story: You're the Chosen One. Your village is destined to be wiped out, and only you shall survive. The fateful day comes, the forces of darkness attack. Unfortunately, the gods make a little goof, and the guy standing next to you at the time is the only one that manages to survive. You die a horribly bloody death. D'oh. Now you're a ghost. You're kickin' it in heaven, when the gods inform you that it is still your responsibility to wipe evil from the world, alive or not. "And," they say, "If you can manage to find some people you wouldn't mind being your parents and manage to somehow get them together, we'll let you be reborn as their child."

Your quest begins. As this spirit, you must possess and recruit people from any walk of life you choose to serve in your party. Walk into a town, find someone that looks like a good choice, and get 'em to join. Of course, they're completely unaware of your presence. If your entire party dies in line of duty, who cares?! You're just a ghost. You can't die any more than you already have. Head back to town and recruit some more unknowing shmucks.

The story line is open ended, so there's really no set course for you to play out. Choose your own way to rid evil from the land. By forming multiple parties, you can create elaborate plots to storm enemy strong holds. Take direct control of one party, and give orders to the rest as to how you want them to act. Just hope they can pull it off. While it's not necessary to keep any members alive throughout the entire game, if you want to be reborn at the end, you better find a couple of compatable people and keep them alive for quite a while. You'd also better make sure that they interact often, too!

I believe a fantasy style setting would suit this game well. Probably some form of action RPG figting would suit the action part of the game best.

So, there ya go, peoples. My game idea. Enjoy it, won't you?

-Aaron Littleton

Drew, you wanted an RPG setting. Here it is.

The year is 2034. The earth has been subjugated by the power of the sentient Dreamcast AI. 90% of the world's population was eradicated when National computers around the world accidentally marked everyone with a last name as DECEASED. The few survivors, such as Cher, Pele, and Prince are being held in farms around the world, forced to play the Dreamcast day and night, their bodily fluids harvested for nutrients. The Dreamcast AI has total control of all computers in the world. But there remains a band of rebels scattered around the globe...

You control one of three characters: Berni'Estolar, the former Sega US Exec, Drewco'Sner, the brash and witty Double Agent columnist for 35 years, or Tom, a cyborg containing the minds of both Nintendo and Sony's CEOs. Your mission: Travel across the globe, freeing people from the farms, releasing exciting new software over the internet, and bashing Dreamcasts with tire irons. Beware however; in the 34 1/2 years since the Dreamcast AI came online, different breeds of Dreamcast have come into being. There is the Dreamcast Overlord, who will try to choke you with pearl necklaces. There are the Dreamcast Harvesters, which will drain your bodily fluids, rendering you limp and docile. And then there are... the AGENTS.

The AGENTS will try to control your mind with the dazzling graphics of the Dreamcast. Your friends will easily succumb; the only way to stop the agent is to start insulting the AGENT's mother. Slightly jarring insults such as "Your momma is so fat, she jumped up and went straight to hell" will break his concentration for a split second, allowing you to jam a tire iron or golf club in its CD-ROM drive. Insults such as "Your momma is so stupid, when someone said it was chilly outside, she ran out with a bowl and a spoon" will stun the Dreamcast for a longer time, allowing you to incapacitate the Dreamcast and harvest its parts. Using Dreamcast parts, you will be able to create a Dreamcast Suit. One member of the team will have to eanter the 500-story Tower in which the AI is held. But I'm going too fast. To get there, you will have to pass such dangerous areas as the bloody, long-fogotten rainforest minefields, the lightning scarred, acid-rained Death Canyon, and Seattle.

Once you reach the top of the 500-foot tower, you will face the Dreamcast AI. There, you will have to convince the Dreamcast that what it's doing is wrong, by playing Tic-Tac-Toe. This way you can show that no one can win war.

Or you could just blow up the top half of the building with incendiary warheads.

-Legion007, who is pre-ordering his copy (for the Dreamcast)