Double Agent
The hardcore strike back - August 20th, 1999 - Drew Cosner

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I see dead people. Look, there's one right behind you! Hah hah, made you look. Don't say I didn't warn you.


You're just in time, the column's about to start. Quiet, you don't want to miss the entire plot.

Upright Gamers' Brigaide

With all the bitching and moaning yesterday, I felt compelled to shed a little light on what I consider "hard-core". As a gamer, I'm not concerned with the trade-off between storyline and graphics, because stories have actually gotten better with advances in graphics. What matters to me is the game system. For me, a good RPG is one where you have just as much fun customizing your characters as you do advancing the story. I really couldn't care less about graphics. That's right, I DON'T CARE. That doesn't mean I hate good graphics, it means they simply don't have an impact on my gameplay experience. I enjoyed Final Fantasy V because of its awesome customization system, and still enjoy it today, even though the graphics and story are weak points in the game. I felt Final Fantasy VII wasn't that great because you didn't have to have any strategy in customizing characters, you could just change Materia at will. I don't think people should get jumped on because they didn't like a game with good graphics. That just means the game system didn't do much for them. There are still "hard-core" hypocrites, but a lot of us have just cause for not liking FFVII. Even though you probably won't print this because you're tired of the whole hard-core thing by now, I just thought I would shed a little light on an overlooked subject.

-The Walrus


You have the right attitude, Walrus. My complaints were aimed at the type of people who would refuse to play a game strictly because it does have newer, shinier graphics. Your reasons for disliking FFVII are valid, and although there are counterpoints that could be made, they would also be simple matters of opinion.

For example, I had nothing against the materia system because I felt that it did allow for a lot of strategic combinations and uses. It also allowed for me to choose which characters I preferred to take along based upon their personalities and attacks. In games where each character has a unique spell or ability, you may wind up taking along a character you can't stand just because he or she has a necessery skill. But then, that's also just a matter of opinion, now isn't it?

Something to aspire to

Hello question answerer, How do you pronounce chocobo?

-Aspiring non-hardcore gamer


That's practically a religious debate, my friend. Every person has their own opinion on the matter, and there are those that will practically saw off your head so that they can shit down your neck if you disagree with their pronunciation. If you want to get technical and look at the Japanese from which it was translated, it would be "choe koe boe," but that's debatable at best.

Myself, I just pronounce it as "bob" to avoid that whole messy argument.

Party time

First, I thought I'd express my opinion that you're doing a darn spiffy job as lettercol person. A-OK.

Then, I'd like to say Why did they cancel MST3K?!? WHY?!? You did it, you finally did it!! Damn you all to hell!!

Pardon me, I digressed.

Now then, videogames... Hmmmm.... Say, does anyone else make theme parties in Final Fantasy Tactics? Obvious things like a summoner named Rydia, or more complex like my character named Kino Makoto who's a saggitarius and has all the lightning spells. I also have an assassin named Kiriya, but that took a little bit of game shark work... Dang those assassins are mean. Just one can do the job of a whole party of normal characters. "100% death"... yeah, that's a fair effect for an attack to have. @_@

So, in closing, video games are good. Pikachu is a fun character in Smash Brothers, so I'll have to say that burning Pokemons is bad. And always remember, good guys wear blue.

-Sanagi, terminally mellow


Speaking of customized parties, we're thinking of putting together a GIA FFT party to post in the Community's Dex Drive section. So, just as a way of giving you something fun to write about to Andrew for tomorrow's column, here's a little topic for you: if you were to make a GIA FFT party, what would it be like? I figure after laying the heavy debates upon you guys that I have been for the past few days, this will give you something a bit more lighthearted to think about.

Talk to Andrew

Howdy.

First of all, it was a killer column Thursday. It was about time for another hardcore gamer beatdown. My personal gripe about hardcore gamers hasn't been their views, just the fact that they feel they must impose it on everyone else. I've been in an RPG IRC channel before, and I mention that I'm playing FFVII, and suddenly everyone, even people who had idled so long you thought they might be comatose perk up and decide that since my views are different from theirs, they obviously must pound their views down my throat. It always starts with the obligatory 'FF7 sucks', and then moves on to either 'I wish they would have fixed the gameplay/plot/translation instead of making all that FMV' (a ridculous argument, since the FMV team was completely seperate from the script writers and gameplay designers), or 'the characters were totally shallow. Only Cloud got any character development' (have they forgotten Mog, Umaro, Gogo, Shadow, Strago, and Relm? Vincent and Yuffie had at least as much character development as they did, or more). Off course, if they are feeling adventerous, they will talk about how the translation sucked (I was unaware that writing 'Off Course!' instead of "Of Course!' in a minigame can have substantial effect on how much youy enjoy a fifty hour game), or how the materia system destroyed character individuality (and the class system and the magicite system didn't?) Naturally they do all this for my benefit, to save me from being an eye candy loving sellout. Because obviously if I like Final Fantasy VII, they have to make me hate as they do. It's only fair.

-Arpad Korossy


Hey, did I mention that tomorrow is Andrew's turn to do the column? I bet you'd like to disagree with this letter. Well then see that link at the bottom of that blue table up there? Click it. Tell him what's bugging you. He's like an online psychologist. He'll listen to your viewpoints, and then charge you an excuberant fee for his services.

F*** those F's

You're right, "Free Topic Friday" is a clever use of alliteration, but the "t" kinda breaks the flow. couldn't you change it to "Free Ftopic Friday"?


Yeah, that had occured to me when first naming Free Topic Fridays. I thought about naming them "Free Fellatio Fridays" but it just didn't seem to convey the appropriate meaning.

Fear the tech vests

I thought to commemorate this very special Free Topic Friday, I would do a rant about commercials.

Ahem. The worst commercial I can honestly say I've ever seen is that K-Mart Star Wars one. You know, the one with the chubby kid who thinks going to Kindergarten is "training to be a Jedi"? Are young children that brainwashed by pop culture? Did his parents poddy-train him by telling him to "use the Force"? Parents who would let their child fall into such delusions should be shot.

I think that the Government should propose a 4.1 billion dollar tax to anyone appearing in a Gap ad. The "Gap tax" would help to rid us of the National Deficit, as well as those ending insipid Gap ads shown every thirty seconds. And if the former Gap ad stars were caught singing any of their old songs, we would employ the use of the 300 pound anal probe codenamed "Big Bertha".("Yeah?! Well call THIS Mellow Yellow!")

Just some ideas.

Tech vests scare me.

- Pimpbot 5000


His parents were probably the type that told him if he didn't go to bed, Darth Vader would freeze him in carbonite. As a product of morphogenesis, I was never a child, and hence I can't really tell you what goes through the minds of children. (Remember, folks, convincing yourself that you're the direct result of a miraculous occurance of morphogenesis is far more appealing that the thought of your parents doing the monkey dance.)

And yes, those Gap ads suck. They suck a lot. They make me wonder what is involved in obtaining a degree in marketing. I'm willing to bet it's not a copious amount of trigonometry and calculus.

For those who disagree with me, your letter has arrived

I find all this 'hardcore gamer' bashing to be quite humorous. In fact, I should point out a big difference between the Gamefan reviewers and yourself: they've actually played Final Fantasy VIII in english.

How can you even justify arguing with their opinions of the game when you haven't even played the game (in english) yourself? Let's be realistic here, is it so wrong to bash a game now just because it carries the Final Fantasy title? Do we all have to succumb to public opinion and tastes even if we simply don't like the game?

Don't call a person biased if he simply can't appreciate Final Fantasy VIII. Sure there are millions of people who loved it, but the Gamefan reviewers and almost every reviewer of Japanese publications other than Famitsu, felt that the game didn't live up to their own standards, and that's their opinion. If you're going to criticize Gamefan, are you going to criticize Dengeki Playstation?

You wrote your criticisms of the 3 Gamefan reviewers without just cause. You make assumptions based on context when you can't really prove them. How do you really know that ECM had a thing against FF8 right before he played it? Isin't there a saying that goes, "Never Assume, it makes an Ass out of yoU and Me".?

"It's a shame both he and his fellow reviewer didn't enjoy the game, but their job is to give a fair judgement, and to let people know whether or not they will enjoy it. Not to tell you that they disliked it, as there's no accounting for personal taste. " ~ Drew Cosner

So basically, we should never ever give negative reviews? What kind of bullshit is this? How do you know that their reviews aren't any more authentic than anyone elses? And if reviews aren't about personal taste, does that mean that only blind advocates should review games? I'd prefer an honest review of a game over a review that comes from a hardcore fanboy. I don't need someone to tell me whether or not I would like this game, as that is bullshit mainstream manipulation. I read reviews because I WANT to see other people's opinions! And wouldn't it be a sucky world if everyone agreed on the same thing?

It seems to me that you simply took Gamefan's reviews way too personally. Why don't you just say, "Ok I love Final Fantasy so much, that's why I don't like it when they criticize my favorite series!". At least that's being honest.

And by the way, I consider myself a "hardcore" RPG fan in the sense that I love playing RPGs, of any kind, and I even enjoy writing reviews of them, but the one thing I value the most is free thought and opinion. I think anyone can label themselves as such if they want to, but some people just happen to have some ridiculous peeve against the use of the word (you know who are you). I find it funny that I fit none of the things you listed as qualifications for a "hardcore RPG fan". There obviously must be something wrong there.

-Desmond Gaban


I appreciate the fervor with which you disagree with me, but allow me to make my defense. First of all, we at the GIA have played the english version of FFVIII, and we are in the position to form an educated opinion about the game itself. Secondly, no, you don't have to agree with the general consensus. But if you're going to disagree, you'd better be prepared to back up your statements with valid, factual criticisms, something which Gamefan's reviewers did not.

To address what your comments regarding the ratings being handed out to Final Fantasy VIII by the press, you're a bit mistaken. It has received universally positive scores from all gaming publications, both in Japan and in the United States. EGM gave the game straight 9.5's, the Official Playstation Magazine gave it a 5 out of 5 possible, as did PSM. The only magazine to give it such an undeserved and unwarranted review has been Gamefan. Dengenki Playstation, the magazine you cite in favor of your argument, rated FFVIII in the high 80's, giving valid reasons for the less than perfect score.

And how do I know that Gamefan's reviewers had a predisposition before they even began to play the game and type out their reviews? Take ECM for an example. In the very first two lines of his review he writes, "So where do you think this Viewpoint is headed? I despised FFVII and I like FFVIII even less." He fully admits that he hated FFVII and expected to dislike FFVIII as well. If that's not evidence of a bias, I'd like to know what you consider to be.

But all of that is beside the point; the point which you seem to have completely missed. I never said that a reviewer shouldn't give negative reviews, I said that a reviewer shouldn't give biased reviews. A game succeeds or fails by its own merits, and it is the job of the reviewer ro report upon these. It's not the job of the reviewer to tell you which Final Fantasy was his favorite, or that he personally prefers hand drawn backgrounds to rendered backgrounds. If you only want to read the opinions of others regarding a game, then just go to a message board or newsgroup. That's not what a review is for.

Yes, of course we like Final Fantasy VIII. I'm not going to lie and say that's not the case just to refute your attack. Even so, we're not so blinded that we won't point out the series' flaws and shortcomings. But that also means we aren't below seeing the worth of the games for what they are. It all boils down to this: it's not that Gamefan's reviewers disliked the game. It's that they cited specious, invalid personal preferences as reasons for their distaste, rather than actual, supported reasoning.

What I find especially enjoyable about your letter is your closing paragraph. You're right! Since you've obviously deemed yourself to be a hardcore gamer, there must be something wrong with the definition for it not to include you within its bounds. Well, fair enough. Allow me to make a slight revision.

You might be a hardcore gamer if:

  • The mere whisper of "3D" sends you into a ranting fit
  • You decided that Final Fantasy VIII was going to suck the moment you saw a car in a screenshot.
  • You believe that no company should advertise its games, especially not with television commercials.
  • Should someone insult any ancient NES RPG in your presence, or even suggest that a newer game was superior in any respect at all, you accuse this person of playing Final Fantasy VII as their first RPG.
  • You try to convince all of your friends that gameplay is truly at the heart of each new Mega Man title.
  • You think Zelda 1 was superior to Zelda 64 in every way
  • You begged for a Chrono Trigger sequel for years. When Square finally delivered, you attacked them for daring to change the game in any way.
  • The only reason you play newer RPGs is so that you can later nitpick and insult them.
  • You get genuinely upset when somebody mispronounces "Ys."
  • You can't accept the existence of newcomers to the RPG genre.
  • You feel that the presence of technology is grounds for disliking a game.
  • Your name is Desmond Gaban.

In conclusion, your words are as empty as your soul!

Flamers' Corner #2

Drew,

I can honestly say I hate you. Every word you speak, every action you make, every breath you take fills me with an unholy loathing. Your biased opinions, which should be shoved up your ass with the force of a super-nova, make me physically ill.

I say this with the utmost sincerety; I would rather suck my sustenance for the rest of my life from the rear of the taco bell dog and richard simmons thighs than ever see, hear, smell, or generally sense anything at all pertaining or relating to You.

I hope your children grow up to be mimes, I pray that your house will be burnt down and the ground salted so nothing will ever grow there again, in my heart of hearts I want your dog to be sodomized by a sadistic and inbred hillbilly. Down to the very core of my soul I yearn for your legacy to be blasted from this universe with the fires of hell, you wretched, vile, self-serving, Canadian, BASTARD!

~Ian P.

P.S. For some reason I got the feeling you hadn't been flamed in awhile. I mean really FLAMED. Hope you appreciate this buddy, keep up the good work.

...Or in other words...j/k.


The fact that you could even come up with the very idea of sucking your sustenance from the Taco Bell dog's ass is definite proof that you're the kind of reader I both encourage and enjoy. However, I'm sure there's a few people out there who disagree with my ideas and opinions, but are for one reason or another unable to articulate their hatred in such an eloquant and scathing manner as you have in this very letter.

Since this flame speaks for all such people, I'll bestow upon you the privilege of being one of the elite few to get a letter posted in the Flamer's Corner. May it bring joy both into your life, and the lives of those who will be born of you. Think of it like a degenerative disease; it will appear more readily as your lineage grows until ir reaches the point where one of your descendants looks like a combination of the wolfman and Beldar Conehead.

Enjoy!


Closing Comments

Write to Andrew. Is that concise enough?

-Drew Cosner

 
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