Double Agent
Security in obscurity. - July 30th, 1999 - Andrew Kaufmann

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot.


Greetings fellow gaming, and welcome to Q&AK. Also known as The Weekend Double Agent. Drew is going to be doing cool things on weekends from now on, so get used to seeing my typing in this space on weekends.

First things first, let's just get a little technicality out of the way. If you want your letter to be considered for publication, you must send it to qak@thegia.com if you want it read by me, or agent@thegia.com if you want it read by Drew. Private mail to me can be sent to andrewk@thegia.com, but it won't be considered for publication.

On another note, I blew up the boards today. Ooops. Well, they're fixable but rather than fix the old ones we're going to prepare to launch the final, non-beta version. So for now, the boards are down. They'll be back up ASAP, though.

Letters!

Not everyone hates Sony!

Hi Andrew I don't know if it's someone from outside or Drew himself but that's 2 letters at least sent by Sony fans filled with typoes about how other compagnies sucks and how FF is k00|_ I can type an exemple myself.

Hey Drew

i think Nintendo can't make a better machien which cost less cause it would 
cost more if its more powerfull yeah Sony isn't dumb they would make it cost 
as low as possible and they will do that, ok? yeah thanks. BTW is Ergheiz 2 
for PS2? Will have Squall in it cause I liek Squall!

I know people like that exist but for whatever reason it shows up in the Double Agent section is "IMO" just to make fun of Sony's fans and there is a big possibility those e-mails are sent by someone who just want a good laugh, or "I have to admit it's possible but hey I don't know Drew myself" that Drew made them up himself. The first time I remember reading one it wasn't signed the secound one was signed "-from a playstation player and an awaiting supporter of the psx2!".

I mean it's just clear that those e-mails are sent by someone who want to make fun of the stereotypical Sony fan boy, and it's just dumb to actually post the letters, especially when there is nothing interesting mentioned in the letter. Drew is doing a great job and I keep reading the collumn everyday, it's just that it shows those letters are sent for the reason I mentioned already. Great collumn tho:p

-Phil "Osirus"


Phil, do you think we would lie to you? Nah. We wouldn't do that... often...

Seriously though, those were real letters Drew got. Go figure. I'm not Drew, but I imagine he posts them to try to stir some discussion. Being a letters guy can be tough when you don't get letters, man!

Talkin' some Annie-May

I saw Mononoke Hime today. Wow.

I'm not sure if(or how many times) Miyazaki has been brought up before in this column, so let me just briefly say that the anime of Studio Ghibli is peerless, and it has inspired many people in the video game biz. I don't know how many times I've said to myself "Oh, the Nausicaa scenario" at the beginning of a post-apocalyptic RPG.

So if you're interested in the culture behind these (mostly) Japanese games we play, you can find a lot of the source ideas in Miyazaki's works. The best are the movie 'Mononoke Hime' and the graphic novel 'Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind'.

Now pardon me, I'm composing a personal ad. "SWM seeks independent, strong, beautiful female. Preferably brought up by wolf god."

Sanagi, awestruck

Now, first things first, I've got to confess that I'm a total anime-moron. I've seen Ninja Scroll and an episode of Ranma 1/2, and that's about it. I do like anime in general, though, because the artwork is cool and the stories are usually interesting... it's just hard to find the good stuff at Blockbuster and buying tapes is too expensive.

Thanks for the recommendation Sanagi!

Hockey RPG?

Hey, I noticed your little letter from Makkuro with a part about an involving hockey game. Well, it's already been done! I don't remember the name of the game, but I remember seeing it a looooong while back (Possibly an old Nintendo Power) and basically you move from rink to rink trying to beat the different teams etc. In addition, between rinks you could encounter random hockey players (Just like RPG battles) in which you had to play a one minute game with to gain your hockey team some experience. On top of it all, you could buy hamburgers etc. to beef up your players! Just thought you'd like to have this little tidbit of info.

Yendor007
Master of the Flying Monkey Men of Nee


Dude, that game sounds sweet! Was it for the NES? Man, I'd play a hockey game like that. Can you fight and gain coolness points? I've got to get in on that action. I love sports games and RPGs, that game is like AK's Dream Come True.

Yendor007.. Master of the Flying Monkey Men of Nee... are you, like, James Bond's alter-ego on the Planet of the Apes or something?

Uncharted games

Howdy!

I am here to proclaim the virtues of that most marvelous of all games, Uncharted Waters II: New Horizons. Yes, this poor RPG has been forgotten in the sands of time, but it should not be so! Not only is it part of the only sailing RPG series ever, but it gives the player immense control and freedom. What other game allows you to mack on waitresses at bars all over the world? What other game lets you find distant supply ports and rename them all "Donut Land"? What other game rewards you for finding a giant three-toed sloth in the depths of the Amazon? And what other game has item shops which will only sell their best items at 2:00 AM? None, I tell you. Do not let New Horizons go ignored any longer, I beseech you! Use your incredible AK powers to influence your readers, and force them like a flock of sheep to buy all the copies of UW they can find! Yes, do as I bid you, and maybe, just maybe, I will return your Snoopy bed covers.

-Arpad Korossy, aka Fat_Chocobo


Uncharted Waters has popped us suddenly as a must-have RPG. There was even a piece of fan artwork submitted about it. I'm going to have to expose myself, however, because that fan artwork page says "I'm sure no one but AK and I have ever heard of [Uncharted Waters]". I think Kristen, the artist, meant to say "no one but Allan and I" have ever heard of, because I have to admit my knowledge of obscure RPGs is very limited.

I'll comply with your request, Arpad (what a kickass name), and tell everyone out there to go get the game. Go now! Hurry! HURRY!

And once you get it, drop Drew or myself a line and tell us what you think.

Whack a mole, or Sephiroth

I am quite tired of the traditional "whack the villain with all ya' got!" method of writing a Final Fantasy ending. I was hoping that, at the end of FF7 you'd be able to set all 8 of your characters up in a circle around Sephiroth and bash him nice. The first form of him was nice and interesting, but at the end it once again devolved into a hack and slash, a la D&D.

I actually preferred something more along the lines of the ending to Brave Fencer Musashi, where you couldn't just slash. You had to outthink your opponent. It would be cool to have the final fight more as a rout, with the villain (probably either invulnerable, or just REALLY powerful) driving the heroes back until they have no place to go.

Perhaps for once a video game would require thought, not brute force. Have a villain, or villainess, who is not too much to whoop up on. She of course would have nice minions worthy of slaughter, but she herself would require, at the least, some strategy, like combining spells to take down defenses. If FF8's final boss ends up metamorphosing into a flying slimy monster with really big hands I'll just shake my head and cast a few Ultimas, sighing that it could have been a much better ending.

I loved the endings to all the Star Wars movies out so far, because they always bring the heroes to near-loss, then let them win with some kind of amazing manuever, or with the help of someone they didn't expect. Maybe we could see that in a video game. Or, if there are games out there like that that I don't know about, please fill me in.

Tai-sa


The problem with getting rid of the "big, bad, and mean" boss is that they wouldn't be able to cast spells that made entire solar systems land on your head (which, I might note, only bruises you). I haven't played FF8, so I don't know what the final battle is like, but I imagine it'll be more of the same.

A game I always thought had an interested last battle was Zelda II for the NES. It involved strategy, even though it was a side-scrolling style of battle.

Another perspective, however, would say that a tough and strategy-filled final battle is unnecessary. Isn't a game more than the last battle? The challenge could be in getting there, with the fight being a mere formality rather than a true climax. Food for thought. (Luckily, I'm on a diet.)

Different strokes

I think Mr. McKnight's response was a bit--misguided. I agree with Mr. Cosner that the review missed the mark--though I hardly found it as funny as he did. Simply put, it was a horrible review. And since when are reviews aimed at certain audiences? A good review is one that appeals to fans of all games, and perhaps even turns them on to new experiences. That Star Ocean review was poorly written and basically talked about graphics and text. No Skills. No Emotion. What kind of idiot counts the number of times he has to push a button to read text anyway? It's TEXT--DIALOGUE. You're supposed to be F*CKING reading it.

I disagreed with the GIA's review of Star Ocean, but I enjoy it and that's all that matters. And to imply that it and others like it don't really add anything new to the genre or videogames as a whole is straight wrong. Although a little primitive, SO's emotion system is a step in the right direction toward more believable, enjoyable games. FFVII's cinematics (is that a WORD?) employed advanced, impressive storytelling (As did Lunar years before). But I still like reading a good story every now and then.

That's what "Old School" RPG gamers DO. We read. We look for details. We THINK. We're detectives, for crying out loud! It would be not only wrong for companies like Square and Sony to forget about us, it would be f*ckin' STUPID. Of course as the years go on we'll see less and less traditional RPG's...but by then I'll be an old man.

HypeSpider


No one is ever going to completely agree with any review, since we're all unique people (you're unique, just like everyone else), but we try to provide enough facts about the games in our reviews so you can form your own opinions while putting up with ours.

As for companies, and what kind of games they make... well, to be brutally honest, they make what sells. Games hardcore-RPG fans adore often don't sell. Graphics like in Final Fantasy VII sells. It's as simple as that. Lunar was a good break from the cinematic trend, however, so hopefully good things will stem from there.


Closing Comments

I'm re-reading the column and realizing that every answer is a) boring and 2) stupid. Not only that, I can't even think of cleverly stupid things to say. They're just bland and stupid.

I'll leave you to stew over the short column tonight, and leave you to hope for something better out of me tomorrow. Now, I go back to working on the message boards...

-Andrew Kaufmann

 
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