Tell me all of your dirty little opinions. - July 28th, 1999 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. This message will self-destruct. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Man, if ever there was a time to get into the Saturn, it would be now. All the major retailers are trying to get rid of their Saturn games and hardware to make room for the impending release of the Dreamcast, so you can get just about anything Saturn related for a dirt cheap price. Today, for example, I went up to Electronics Boutique, and they were running a deal wherein any new Saturn game remaining in stock was 10 dollars, and they would throw in an analog controller for free. So, I wound up getting Magic Knight Rayearth for 10 bucks along with a free controller, and a memory card for 5 bucks. "Damn" is all I have to say to that.
You can easily pick up a Saturn for 20 bucks, and there are several excellent games most people have missed out on, such as Panzer Dragoon Saga, Shining Force III, Magic Knight Rayearth, or Albert Odyssey, and I'm sure I'm forgetting some. If you've got a few bucks that are burning a hole in your pocket as you await the release of Final Fantasy VIII, I highly recommend you grab yourself a Saturn. Now's the time to do it.
But enough of my financial advice, let's get this column started.
| Trippy, man |
|
Hey Drew,
Do you happen to know how to get those cool trippy designs when you play
music CD's on the PSX?
-Eternal Stud
|
To be concise, you don't. The trippey designs you speak of were originally released as a disc and entitled "Baby Universe." Yes, Baby Universe. Yet another fantastic name from the home of fantastic names. Anyway, you'd put Baby Universe in, and then swap it with an audio CD. Voila, instant trip. It was a big hit in Japan, so the later models of Japanese PSXs include Baby Universe as a built-in feature. Unfortunately, Baby Universe remains exclusive to Japanese systems, and it will probably stay that way.
| Elemental toys |
|
oh wise and powerful keeper of ancient wisdom, enlighten us! whatever
happened to the final fantasy guardian force toys? i think the set has
odin, ifrit, cerberous, and some feathered nekkid chick. i've always
wanted my own three-headed canine elemental. . .
|
Nothing's happened to them, there's just been no announcement made concerning a stateside release of the figures. It would be nice if they were out in time to coincide with the release of FFVIII, and that would certainly make sense. We'll just have to wait and see what happens in the end.
Hopefully the day will come when we all can have our very owned feathered nekkid chicks to proudly display in our homes or officies.
| Make me look good |
|
If letters that are stupid rants, have bad grammar,
and mayn tpyos are the ones that you print, then
you're responses will seem more smarter.
By comparison, off course.
|
Yes, of course. But why should I stop at printing poorly written letters to create the illusion that I am, in fact, intelligent? Let's get some flamboyantly gay letters coming my way so that I can look more masculine upon printing them. Or maybe some extremely crass and unrefined letters so that I can look charismatic. C'mon, help me out here guys.
| Life's a scream |
|
Hello and good day to you, agent.
I was wondering...why is everyone interperetting the CC heros name
as Serge, to sound like "surge" ? See, Serge is a name most typically
pronounced as "Seir-gay", not surge. Did Squaresoft themselves say the
romanization was "Serge" or was that just a translation. I know when
translating the katakana, you go by sound, so the Japanese name could
sound like "surge", and "serge" was just a bad translation, or less
accurate one. Anyways, just curious on your view.
-A comment to you goes here, Jeremy S, aka LC3 of gold-saucer
|
The correct pronunciation is "Surge" rather than Seir-gay. Which is probably best seeing as "Surge" sounds exponentially cooler. Seir-gay sounds like the name of a Russian orchestra conductor. And not even a cool conductor. Like, the kind of conductor who makes everybody call him "Maestro" and compliment his autographed Three Tenors poster.
| My mom...? |
|
Listen Cosner, I didn't raise you to dis the musical genius that is Ryuichi
Sakamoto, composer of the Last Emperor and Smoochy. Shut your trap and
recognize or I'll take that brick and shove it back up your ass :)
-Thanks,
Your Mom
|
Mom, you can be such a bitch sometimes. For one thing, I never made any disparaging remarks about Sakamoto, I merely said tht I'd crap a brick in utter amazement if Nobuo didn't wind up doing FFIX's soundtrack. Leave me and my letters column alone. It's bad enough that you make me mow your damn lawn in the scorching heat.
Man, so intrusive.
| Bad to the bone |
|
Dear Abby, I mean... uh... Drew... see, I meant "Drew" because I never
read "Dear Abby", really, I uh... swear.... *ahem*, yes, well... very good
then...
To set a premise, I am a dedicated Square fan. I enjoy their RPGs, and I am
looking forward to Final Fantasy VIII.
However, I am starting to question the legitamacy of this "Edea", the
supposed supreme villain. It's just that I am used to, and prefer villains
that are power hungry maniacs, that want to become God and take over the
world, that are typically played by males, that when you finally are ready to
go kick their ass they say, "Oh, you think you can kick my ass? Well I'm
gonna kick your ass, you pathetic little whelp!", that when you're fighting
them, there's cool opera music in the background, and you can just feel the
power surging from your body as if it is going to come out as an electrical
current from your fingertips, etc., etc., etc.
Two prime examples of this textbook villainry are Sephiroth and Magus. Both
display exemplary evilness and should be modeled by all aspiring tyrants. I
would like to commend both of them at this time: Sephiroth for his entire
persona about gaining as much power as possible, and Magus for his scathing
comments, (i.e. "Say, do you hear that? It's the sound of the Reaper.") I
should hope that this Edea studies diligently under both of these masters of
darkness in hopes of providing FF8 with a good plot and struggle.
To me, the villain is almost the most important part of the game. I
typically want to become that villain. That's why I thought it so cool that
you could have Magus join you in Chrono Trigger. You spend the whole game
looking up to the evilness of the villain and I think Square did a great job
with that. Why don't they allow the villain to join your party more often?
What this letter comes to is this: I just don't know how good of a villain
Edea will make. I don't know if I could take a female villain all that
seriously. It's just that I considered Sephiroth to be such a great villain,
and if Edea isn't as good, it will be a huge let-down for me. I mean, just
how do I really know that she is evil?
Drew, ease my anxiety. Will she really be evil? Will she really want to
take over the world? Promise, Drew? OK then. Nappy-time now.
Wanting and waiting for evil,
-Ryan
P.S. I thought it was great that everyone was voting for "Battle with
Gargamel" for the FF Anthologies soundtrack. I didn't know everyone liked
the Smurfs as much as I do! "Battle with Gargamel" is my all time favorite
song; I think it really exemplifies Gargamel's struggle to capture the
Smurfs, and is just fan-double-tastic! Well, I'm off to make my favorite
delight: pink-sprinkled brownies! Delish!
|
Man, what are you talking about? Women can be pretty damned evil. Any guy who's ever dated can tell you that. Seriously, though, why wouldn't a female villain be convincing enough? The evil deeds that are done, possibly dirt cheap, are the real deciding factor, not the gender of the one who's commiting them. Ironically enough, I'm sure somewhere out there, there is a woman who would be offended by the notion that women can't be total bastards.
Also I should mention, the villain that is known even before the release of the game rarely winds up being the ultimate form of evil that you face in the final showdown. With Final Fantasy VI, everyone knew that Gestahl and the Empire were evil, but in the end you fight Kefka. With FFVII we all knew that the Shinra was sucking the planet dry and was acting all around not nice, and in the end you face Sephiroth. With Earthbound, you begin with the notion that the space aliens are evil, and in the end you fight your next door neighbor. I think you see my point.
| The future of gaming |
|
You know Drew, there's something that's been on my mind lately. See, with the ultra mega wonderzord systems that are on the horizon, what's going to happen to the established genres? Specifically RPGs. What the hell am I talking about? Let me explain.
See, at one time you had your impulsive twitch games, your platformers, and your RPGs. RPGs were the story-driven of the bunch, the other were just for good old reflex testin' fun. But, as time has rolled on, we see that RPGs have become much more cinematic than the days of yore. Not only that, it's becoming common to see games blurring the genre lines, or featuring "RPG elements". Metal Gear Solid is a great example of just this.
So, where am I going with all this rambling? Well, with the systems like the DOlphin and the PS2, games are going to become far more cinematic and grand in their approach. With the graphics these machines are capable of, we're going to see many more movie-like games than ever before. SO, with everything becoming more cinematic, where does this leave our RPGs? Before, if you wanted a good story, you turned to RPGs, but now that will no longer be the case? What do you think about all this?
-Evil Bob Barker
|
You know, that's a damn good question. Naturally, I have my own opinions on the matter, but before I go spouting them off, I'd like to hear what you readers think. Don't be shy now, send me those comments. Having an opinion is good, share it with the world.
Closing Comments
Well, got two good subjects of debate today. For those of you who like to share your personal preferences, I ask you this: does a real villain have to be a man? It might seem a silly question, but lots of the truly memorable film and video game baddies have been male. Putting aside the concrete example of Edea for a moment, what would it take for a female to cut it as a villain and why?
And, for those of you interested in the direction the gaming scene is headed in, that last letter should be your thing. Opinions are like dirty little secrets. Everyone has them, and I want to hear them.
-Drew Cosner
|
|
|
|
