Super-collaboration GO - January 27th, 2002 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Black hole vacuum cleaners! Don't say we didn't warn you.
Warning: columnist suffering from severe lack of inspiration. Mind-numbing mediocrity ahead.
| A whole other can of worms |
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I haven't been keeping up with the news concerning
Kingdom Hearts, but it suddenly occured to me, are
they going to have full-on voice acting a la FFX? If
so, would they be able to get the original voice
actors from the movies for the English version? I
think that, other things aside, that'd be pretty damn
cool in and of itself.
Then again, full voice acting means FULL voice
acting... Which means that any characters from
previous FFs that appear would need voice actors, and
I'm not sure that giving old characters new,
"official" voices wouldn't open up a whole 'nother can
of worms.
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An interesting question, actually. As far as I know, nothing's been revealed. As I recall, the clip of the game shown at last year's E3 didn't have any voice-acting, but that can hardly be taken as indicative of the final product. So, to be helpful, I'll answer by saying this: who the hell knows?
| He eyes me like a Pisces |
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I'm going to distort this topic into what I think of
disney.
-Pisces.
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I have to admit; the college-age Gen-Xer in me finds this most amusing. I'm sure years from now, when I'm adequately homogenized, I'll look back and have a hearty chuckle at my former, faux-rebel self.
| Just to see what it's like |
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Hey I don't care what anybody says, Cloud looks totally badass.
Kingdom Hearts kind of reminds me of Super Mario RPG actually. Square takes some familiar characters and plays them out in a rather unexpected way. It wasn't one of the big highlights of the SNES era for Square, but it was darn fun. I think that little romp shows us what Square is capable of in terms of adapting other worlds to fit their own.
I know a couple people that refuse to touch the thing because it involves Disney, but as far as I'm concerned, I don't really care. I think Square is really putting some effort into this thing, and when Square puts in effort, there's results. Right now they need to establish some non-Final Fantasy titles to get out of their rut, and I think KH might just enable them to do it. And let's face it, the sucker needs is for the good reviews to start reluctantly popping out, and all of those naysayers will HAVE to play it, just to see what it's actually like.
El Cactuar
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That's pretty much how I tend to feel, although I still get a bit unsettled seeing Cloud and Whinnie the Pooh on the same page of a game magazine. I'll also take additional measures to make sure no one in my dorm catches me playing that game.
| That's the attitude!
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I can tell you right now, that every fiber in body is willing Kingdom Hearts
to fail. This, coupled with Final Fantasy XI, is precisely the kind of crap
that is causing my faith in Square to rapidly recede. Say what you will,
but the entire thing is little more than a way for Square and Disney to make
a few quick bucks off of some old Disney characters. That might not have
been so bad (and it would certainly have been forgiveable) if the jeenyus
directors at Square hadn't decided it would be just a brilliant idea to
throw some Final Fantasy characters into the mix, just for the hell of it.
Eff the continuity! So what if it completely contradicts the endings of of
the characters' original Final Fantasies? What's worse is that the writers
are, most likely, going to crap out an "alternate reality" POS. Not that you
can really make much of a plot out of a game whose basic premise is eerily
reminiscent of Mario's, or whose target age group peaks around 10 years old.
In short: Bite me, Square. If there is any justice in this world, crap
writing (it's really unavoidable), the flagrant bastardization of both
Square and Disney characters alike, and my sheer willpower will cause this
game to crash and burn.
- Matt "Why the hell did Square and Disney have to share a building?"
Douglass
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While I'm not sure I can sanction actively desiring a shitty game rather than a good one specifically because it bends the barriers, but I can understand your sentiment in the latter half of your letter. For years Square has had the artistic integrity not to lean on continuity to sell the Final Fantasy series, and now that's thrown out the window for a game starring Disney characters of all things. It doesn't really get to me, but I can see how that would chaffe.
| Keep away! |
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Hi Drew,
Condsidering how much love is being showered on this game by so many people,
it would take some major mucking up: something on the order of crappy game
play, or interference by Disney. Hopefully Square has enough clout to keep
Disney at arms length from the development process.
- CatInGlasses
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That's supposedly the case, so let's keep hoping. As much as Disney revolts me, I'd be down with any game as long as it's as fun as Mario RPG.
| The Critic |
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"I'm glad every game that makes a release in Japan doesn't see Western shores. For all the ballyhoo over the "foreign gems" that never make it to North America, ther is a whole lot of crap that, mercifully, stays put."
"Sure, there are a few decent games that don't make it Stateside even now, but for the most part, we're getting the good part of the deal."
I'll guess I'll have to dissent then. The fact that we still miss a few decent titles is the whole point. Besides are you the almighty god of gaming that decides what is good and enjoyable? What might be crap titles to you, might be treasure to others. What's this about crap that mercifully stays put? If crap titles come over here are you going to suddenly go into a fit of excruciating seizures, having your whole right side be paralyzed for life? Are you going to have a huge urge to play all these crappy titles that come over and torture yourself for months at end? If these all these titles you consider crap come over here, no one is going to force you to play them. IMO wrestling titles and Mary Kate and Ashely titles are crap but I don't get disgusted just because they exist. I say if there are people out there that like them then let them have them. I'm not going to be some! elitist that demands that only games I like must exist.
As for the Disney game I was somewhat interested in it. With all the Square cameos I'll have to at least rent it. The last time Square worked with another company to integrate that company's characters into a Square RPG (SNES Super Mario RPG) I think it really worked well. So I do have some hope for it but going to be wary just the same.
Pendy the DQ/DW guy
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Good old Pendy, always there to keep us big-mouthed DAs in check. I'm down with your criticism, although I will clarify:
In a few words, remember the crash of the mid-80s that buried Atari, for all intents and purposes.
When the shelves get loaded with an overbearing amount of crapo, the average consumer doesn't know where to spend his money and more or less loses interest, having to pick through so many poor games just to find something worth playing. A best-case-scenario is that people just start buying whatever they see television commercials for, perhaps incorrectly assuming quality.
And while we could argue at length about objectivity and gaming, the simple fact is that many Japanese titles are shameless garbage developed entirely to latch onto some trend/fetish, which more likely than not is exclusively Japanese. Even the developers don't have faith in their products. So yes, while it's possible that a few decent titles may not make it here these days, I'd say that's an adequate price to pay for the protection we get from oodles of crap.
Besides, what fun would gaming be if there weren't the occasional title for people to import so they could hold it over the heads of those nasty "lesser gamers" who haven't played it? I can't imagine gaming without such pompousness.
| I just don't know |
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Drew-
On a side note from my letter yesterday...I'm actually looking forward to
Fresh Games. I loved Spaz. I just had to point out where such business
practices land. Or would seem too.
Anyway, as for that topic you left lying around so carelessly...
What exactly are the companies trying to do? If they are trying to form a
hybrid of two things into an enjoyable gaming experience, I honestly believe
they will suceed. I will buy the game just on the remote chance that a llamma
that looks suspicously like David Spade will find its way in there. Sqaure's
gameplay is usually great. I even enjoyed Brave Fencer Musashi.
Disney...well...while most of DIsney is annoying, there are a few movies near
and dear to my heart. The first Aladdin, the Lion King, Emporer's New Groove,
Toy Story 1 and 2...
But will the game suceed in selling a bazillion copies? Umm...I don't know.
Disney games, while profitable, have never been heavy hitting big sellers.
Sqaure's titles, as long as they contain two letter Fs, are. This hybrid may
end up selling as many copies as Driving Emotion Type S, or it may rival
Final Fantasy X.
So in short, the spirit of the game will most likely suceed, whereas the
business aspect will only be told by time, as with most games...
Peace,
Ray Stryker...ooh that smell....can't you smell that smell...
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Such optimism. It... it burns my eyes!
| Divine Disney |
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Knowing Square, the trademark, out of the blue, completely unrelated to 30+ hours of plot, final boss of the Kingdom Hearts RPG will probably be the "god" of this particular game's universe: Walt Disney himself. Of course it won't be called Walt Disney its name will be something like Neo-Necro Mortibody Waltimecia Disnecron Synthesis.
Captain Pikachu
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You know, I could've sworn that they put Walt Disney in a cryogenic chamber. Which would sort of mean he's still alive. Of course, Kefka has already proven that you don't need to die to become divinity.
| Sort of like Smash Brothers |
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You know how Super Smash Bros. Melee is the only place you'll ever see Pikachu, the viral infectious icon of my little sister's generation beat the tar out of Link and still appeal to an older audience? Well, I think Kingdom Hearts will have that same kind of cool effect. Sort of "Okay, I am playing a game with Donald Duck in it, but it's still damn cool". And keeping SSBM's Teen rating in mind, I wouldn't be surprised if Kingdom Hearts came with a "T" plastered on it's box.
In short KH will own my arse.
-KuMojoMog
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I have my sincere doubts that Disney would allow its characters to be associated with anything that doesn't get an "E" rating. The company has been most careful about that; witness the entirely different brand name Disney uses just to make R-rated films. Then again, Japan and America do have different sense of appropriateness, so who knows. That would be some wild stuff at any rate.
Nothing like totally negating the first half of a paragraph in the second.
| WHAT THE *&#$&#%*&@#%*@$? |
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Ok, I will try and be level throughout this letter, despite the burning hatred I feel....
Oops, I guess I can't be levelheaded anymore.
What the ****? That was my first reaction. WHAT THE *&#$&#%*&@#%*@$? That was my second reaction! When the first rumours came to light, I seriously thought this was an April Fools joke being meticulously set-up months in advance. Now, having seen screenshots on the internet and in magazines, I realize that there is no conspiracy for trickery here. Square has gone and teamed up with the mother of all corporations (or is Disney a monopoly?) to do a game that for all intents and purposes, looks like it will be another Mickey Racer or a movie-turned pathetic adventure game (The Emporer's New Groove, The Lion King, Aladdin, etc.). The catch is, this is the one genre of video gaming that unholy-hell (see: Disney) has yet to befoul. They have littered the other genres with crappy games designed purely to sell the franchise name(s), and for the longest time I thought RPG's would forever be safe.
Now nothing is safe. As if the insult didn't sting enough, Disney recruited Squaresoft to help. ARGH! ARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!! Those slick fools at Disney must have done a number to woo the people at Square into making this worthless pile of crap. No doubt, they whispered promises of fat royalites this game would bring - after all, they are going to combine 'everybodys' favorite Disney characters with 'everybodys' favorite Square characters. I don't know what has me more worried - the fact that RPG's will now be open-game for franchises wishing to peddle their crap (watch out for a NASCAR RPG, or a PEPSI RPG) or the fact that there are people out there (a good number) who have so been stricken with Square whore-itis that they are looking forward to this game.
I know this game will suck hairy rotten chunky monkey meat. Critics and reviews be damned, there is nothing that anybody (this includes you all at the GIA!) can every say that will *EVER* entice me into purchasing this game. Not only am I pissed off with the franchise propagandising, but the gameplay looks obscenely juvenile. I just wish everyone else could see the true nature of this terrible portent of doom that has been wrought upon us.
DAMNIT! Now I am even more pissed...maybe I can launch an intiative to boycott this game - who's with me?
- Justin
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That is indeed a level-headed outlook, my friend. I suppose Kingdom Hearts will end up being some gamers' Titanic: screw the critics, it can't be any good. I'd like to chastise you, but just about everyone on this staff has a game they decided to hate for various reasons even prior to its release. I guess I shouldn't admit that, but what the hell; it's not like we review said games ourselves. May as well make our biases evident before review time rolls around and someone has to be picked to do the review.
Closing comments:
I can't tell you readers how hard it can be to think up a topic on a Sunday evening (or Monday morning, asthe case may be). Nothing is happening to stoke my creative fire, and all of that. So I'll just go with a broad, vaguely familiar topic for you folks tonight.
It's pretty obvious that Sony, Microsoft, and even Nintendo, to a lesser extent, envision a future wherein consoles have moved closer to the capabilities commonly associated with PCs. So I ask you this: will it all be a dismal failure in the end, giving way to more "traditional" consoles next time around, or is the age of the set-top box not too far off? Do try to explain how you feel when you go and mail Erin, now.
-Drew Cosner
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