Double Agent
Staring at the sun - December 8th, 2001 - Drew Cosner

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Wow, Simpsons Road Rage sucks. Who would've ever guessed. Don't say we didn't warn you.


Doesn't it totally creep you out how there's millions of tiny bugs so small you can't even see them living in on your bed? Weirdo.

There's a simple explanation, really

Why haven't you reviewed or vaulted any of the Twisted Metal games?

It's obvious enough that the GIA is restricted to a specific mandate of games...stuff with very traditional or Japanese stylings...but it's also clear that this has hardly been a stringent guideline, with games offering wildly different premises, presentations or innovations as notable exceptions (Fear Effect, Soul Reaver and Metal Gear Solid, for example).

I suppose my hope is that you've excluded this series simply on a lack of available resources, and not on some sort of principle. The fact is that Twisted Metal (despite the painful lapse of the 3rd and 4th installments) has been gradually evolving from the mainstream into something quite distinct.

As TM1 provided the foundations of original gameplay, the series began to grow from a cliched, glorified demolition derby game into something that merged the best elements of fighting games, cinema and of course, demolition derbies. TM2 saw increasingly innovative vehicles, battlefields and characters...characters that led to a central storyline which amounted to something a little more than the crude stiches required to hold the motley crew together. It was with TM:B, however, that the series finally took the leaps and bounds neccesary to shed most pretenses of cliche...carictures became characters, the storyline became cohesive and compelling, and the result is something one might even hazard to call a form of savage art.

When Twisted Metal made an impact as the strongest of the Playstation launch titles, I was impressed. Black, on the other hand, has left me in awe. It's not just great, it's a classic: deserving comparison to games like Dragon Warrior, Secret of Mana, Mario 64, Clock Tower, and Metal Gear Solid. Please, at least give it a chance.


I wish more people would read this page before sending in letters huffily demanding to know why we don't cover a certain game or series. Actually, check that; I do so enjoy chuckling at the letters instructing us what games to cover, not to mention the bizarre justifications people give for believing so. It's never something like, "Hey, you guys should cover Luigi's Mansion." It's always something along the lines of, "You assholes! Why don't you cover WWF Beat the Meat 2003? It has characters doing things, just like Final Fantasy! Damn Square whores!"

To summarize: the Twisted Metal games are neither adventure, RPG, puzzle, or rhythm titles. They're action/driving titles. We don't cover those. Either that or the entire staff holds a bias against Western developers despite ourselves being Western. You're free to believe that if it suits your fancy.

On another note, I have to wonder about someone who would mention Twisted Metal Black in even the same paragraph as Mario 64 when discussing classic, revolutionary titles. One painstakingly introduced an entire genre, not to mention a beloved mascot, to the third dimension. The other is the latest iteration in what strikes me as an impressively stagnant series. But hey, that's just me.

Trite and clichéd. (Really, really minor spoiler.)

Drew-

Although Golden Sun is indeed better than Beyond the Beyond, I personally would say it's overrated. How? Well, if you're looking for great graphics and a great battle system, you won't be disappointed. However, if you're looking for interesting characters and a decent plot, you may as well have simply set fire to $35.00.

First, I'll start on a good note. The game had a great battle system; the Djinni system allows for a lot of control over the customization of your characters, and it's basically just a lot of fun to screw around and find new classes and spells. It's not overly complex, so it doesn't really have to be an overly involved process unless you really want it to. Graphically, the game is fucking beautiful. The summons are easily the best I candy I've ever seen on any handheld system ever. In fact, speaking of being better than Beyond the Beyond, I would say this little handheld looks a million times better than that PSX game! Of course, it's not really that hard to find a better looking game than Beyond the Beyond...

Now, the bad. I'll start with the plot. Quite frankly, it's fucking stupid. I could have dealt with something cliched and overdone as long is it was done well, but it isn't. Now, it would be unfair for me to just randomly bash the game without making some examples of what I'm talking about. This may be a *SPOILER* for some, but it happens right at the beginning of the game so it's no big deal. Anyway, I want you to consider this:

At the beginning of the game, your father is killed by a boulder. That's right. A boulder. That is hands down the most dumbfuck plot device I've ever seen in an RPG. Well, okay, there's probably been worse, but it's still pretty bad. You have your main character that never talks. This in itself is far from a bad thing; I could have dealt with it if commentary from the supporting cast was particularly interesting, but it isn't. Evidently, it's up to the four biggest drips in the entire world to save the world. Their comments are completely superfluous, and contain all the emotion of a Saturday Morning cartoon show. The only thing I liked about the characters were the character designs in the instruction booklet. The music? Not much to say here: Can't say I hated it, can't say I liked it either.

Currently, I am about 7 hours into the game, and have no intention of picking it up again anytime soon, especially since I have recently discovered Seiken Densetsu III on the SNES. Sorry Golden Sun, but you just can't compete. All in all, if your looking for a great battle system, great graphics, and nothing more, or simply an RPG fix on a long car trip, than by all means, pick this up. If your looking for a great plot or deep character development, don't even bother with Golden Sun.

-Irvine Kinneas, the backwards man

Oh, and I realize what I wrote about the game was trite and cliched, but I decided that the way I write should fit the subject.


You know, I was thinking about picking this game up next time I had a long trip ahead of me, but your letter has made me think twice. If there's one thing I can't stand in an RPG, it's uninteresting characters. I can occasionally cope with a hackneyed storyline so long as the characters spice things up with their actions and commentary. Boring story coupled with boring characters pretty much ensures that I'll not enjoy an RPG. So there; who says I'm not open to the views of readers? Then again, if I see it for 10 bucks before a long trip, I doubt I'll be able to help myself.

And on the other side of the fence:

I'm tired of other people having opinions

I feel very nostalgic when playing Golden Sun. I know I can't be the only one who sees the similarites between GS and the original Wild Arms. Let's just take at a gander a some, shall we?

1. Character design.

2. The world, backrounds, buildings look almost identical.

3. Each person has actions they acquire to help them move objects, collect items, continue on to the next part of the journey, while outside of battle. Just like Hanpan and the Tear Drop.

4. Anyone can equip any djinni/rune that the party has and it then changes their stats.

5. You can understand what animals are saying through telepathy.

6. Plot: save the world and all good things from the evil bad guys!

7. The djinnis and Hanpan are both really cute and should have there own stuffed animals! ^_^ Er, disregard that last one...

Hmmm, maybe I'm just grasping at straws and I need to spend my time doing something more fruitful. Like petitioning for some GS merchandise!

Sylvia (and no, I am not 12)


Just trying to round out the discussion.

Trying hard to not have fun

Drew, to be perfectly honest I can't completely understand the outcry over the dubbing of Final Fantasy X. I mean, yeah, if somebody had tried to dub a Wang-Kar Wai or Fellini film, or even Crouching Tiger, that'd be a travesty. But have any of these yahoos even heard the Japanese original? It's nothing but pop-icon, anime-derivative pap. If these people think that mainstream American sitcoms are stupid, as they surely do, what makes mainstream Japanese entertainment any better (and here I call on your own earlier attack on J-Pop)? I haven't heard all that much of the American version yet, but as far as I can tell it's definitely no worse, and at the very least lends more of a unique personality to the characters than would hackneyed anime-style voice acting, which is just as inappropriate in FF. I've certainly never seen the Final Fantasy series to be anime-inspired in any way, have you*? All of the hullaballoo just gives me the impression that there're people out there nihilistically trying way too hard to not have fun, and that just reeks of, I dunno... adulthood.

Peter Radosevic

*and yes, I'm aware that there have been some particularly goddamned godawful anime associated with the series, but they were offshoots of the games - not the other way around.


I generally agree with your sentiments, Mr. Radosevic. With a few noteworthy exceptions, popular entertainment is pretty much crap everywhere you go. I'm pretty much just echoing Erin in saying this, but just because something is in some way associated with the Japanese does not necessarily mean it bears an inherent level of coolness. The voice acting in the Japanese version of FFX wasn't exactly going to inspire a "foreign interactive entertainment" category at the Oscars, so it may as well be stupid in a language you understand.

Note to people who are firing up their email clients to accuse me of being an overly-cynical Gen-X curmudgeon who gets an ego boost from patronizing anyone who would dare enjoy anything mainstream: please pay attention to that part where I said "with a few noteworthy exceptions." There are, indeed, exceptions. I've never been the type to stop listening to a band just because they gain a widespread following, as an example.

However, what's that about FF not being besmirched by anime influences? Just as a single example, FFVII is rife with the same quasi-spiritual, metaphysical navel-gazing popularized by the Evangelion series, which was around long before it ever came into being. That's just one example. I'm sure you readers could deluge me with more if you so felt the urge.

Covering all the bases

Golden Sun...

I am about twenty hours into Golden Sun and am enjoying it greatly.

It is $30 for Game Boy Advance.

-------------------------------

THE GOOD:

The box art actually relates to the game inside. You get a decent manual.

The sound is phenomenal. You MUST plug in headphones or speakers to listen to the MP3-quality score.

You can save at virtually any point.

The graphics are astounding for a handheld, and would be respectable on a Playstation. The colorful vibrant particle effects make even the most trivial battle a pleasure to watch Every Single Time. Just seeing the battle engine itself is worth a rental.

The art design is uniformly excellent. Things look in-place throughout every town and every dungeon. Beautiful colors abound. There are frequent puzzle-lite problems throughout the various maps that are interesting but rarely frustrating.

The integration of your magical abilities with the Real World is at first an amusing trick but later turns into an integral part of the game. The "Reveal" and "Mind Read" abilities turn talking to NPCs into a pleasure instead of a chore. There are quite a few action elements to the game.

The English translation is extremely solid and the characters are very expressive thanks to Sims-esque thought-icons.

The turn-based battles are random, and extremely fast-paced. It is common for a battle to last no more than ten seconds. Summons can be shortened to a second or two and are visually striking.

Battle is very balanced and the Djinn system (think Summon Materia meet Pokemon) is genuinely interesting.

There are several mini-games and highly scripted interactive events in the storyline that are amusing as can be. The Colossus Event is just too clever.

"MP" or "PP" regenerate spontaneously, making hateful stops at the Inn every five seconds a thing of the past. This puts focus on not letting your characters be knocked out, and battles are more interesting for it.

THE BAD:

Crates everywhere.

When targets in battle die, all the players that were also queued up to fight that target simply defend for that round. Annoying, but it is rare for battles to extend beyond a few turns.

Same old story. Four sassy youth with magical powers and multi-colored hair must save the world from a grave evil before the planet is destroyed.

The Same Old Story takes a damn while to get going. There is a good chance that one might get bored or annoyed and quit playing before the real show begins.

Not very difficult. The battles really don't present an enormous challenge and the enemies present a threat only in large numbers.

Once you find and confront them, the goddamned Djinn can run away in battle, making you leave the screen and come back, potentially going through a whole series of puzzles all over.

Managing your inventory is a chore.

THE REALLY BAD:

Understanding the difference between an Summon, a Set Djinn, and a Released Djinn is almost impossible at first. Understanding how it affects your character and battle abilities isn't clear.

In almost every new chapter of the story, the characters whine and worry endlessly over some grave situation. Then the story up and decides that it's time to do something else right now. It is never clear where to go next.

The characters, plotting, and personalities are almost oppressive in their unoriginality.

Lost Forest? Check.

Answering completely insane Yes/No questions by NPCs that in no way affect the game. Truly mentally ill. "Are you new in town? [YES/NO]"

ALTOGETHER:

I'm still loving this game. The polish and presentation and love that has been put into it is incredible. The battle is a joy once you figure out the Djinn and despite being a total retread of everything you've ever seen or played before, it still feels worth your time. That it is on a handheld is an extra bonus. For about a dollar an hour you can play a graphically astounding traditional RPG that ranges from the mediocre to fantastic.


I'd say that's an impressively comprehensive impression of the game there, chief. I'd say that maybe we should start adding reader reviews to the site, but then I see things like this, and I'm immediately reminded of exactly why we don't.

No one's as lonely as the Carbon Copy man

Drew.

I haven't played Golden Sun myself, but when my older brother got it for his birthday, he sat in the corner and played it all thanksgiving weekend. I think that means its good.

-Ruckly, born to be a carbon-copy man.


Either that or he really hates your entire family.

How to feign knowledgeability

I think Golden Sun is a fun game, well designed, and more than makes up for Beyond the Beyond.

And I sure would like to actually play/own it!

~Ian P., catching up.


Citing the opinions of others as your own: for those times when you can't afford to play everything.

Just plain stupid

Actually, Square could easily fit both language tracks into FFX. Sure, ordinary DVDs (DVD-5) can only fit 4.37 gigs, but dual layered (DVD-9) DVDs can store 7.95 gigs, which would easily be enough room. It would only make the game about 10$ more, as well. So there really isn't any excuse except that Square doesn't want to lose sales to people that won't pay that extra ten bucks, which is just plain stupid.

-AkioCar, surprised no one's mentioned it already.


Theoretically, yes, Square could put the English and Japanese voice acting on dual-layered DVDs, but I think you miss the thrust of what Erin was saying: who cares? What language is used is Square's prerogative. We've established that Square's "vision," in its entirety, is that the dialogue be comprehensible to the audience playing the game. In Japan, that's Japanese. In North America, that's English. Why should they spend that extra amount to please the relatively small number of people it matters to?

Closing comments:

That first letter actually gave me an idea for a topic. What, in your opinion, are the most revolutionary, influential titles ever made? Feel free to clue me in, as is your duty as a reader.

-Drew Cosner

 
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