How to make enemies and irritate people - October 14th, 2001 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. 2 times it is tasty. Don't say we didn't warn you.
You know, I had a thought earlier today. And since my misguided sense of morality compels me to always include some sort of introduction, you're going to be privy to it. Lucky you!
There's probably some guy at the Pentagon whose entire job is to think up fuzzy, happy names for aggressive military campaigns. You know, to give warfare the proper spin and all. In past jobs, he's probably the guy who came up with the deceptive "melts in your mouth, not in your hand" M&M's slogan, or the one who managed to intertwine "pork rinds" and "edible" in the public mind.
I especially enjoy the name we've got for the bombing of Afghanistan: Operation: Enduring Freedom. I guess names like Operation: Blow Some Shit Up or Operation: Jingoistic Catch Phrase lack a certain acceptable charm.
| So that's where they went! |
|
From what I heard (I'm not completely sure of this) the parent company
recently went bankrupt over in Japan, and the US branch has been pretty dead
for a couple years. D'oh.
Data East has made some other nice stuff too, if you've never played the
Magical Drop series of puzzle games they're well worth checking out,
especially the PS and Saturn release of Magical Drop 3.
Actually, they just did a re-release of the Playstation-only Magical Drop F
for 1500 yen in Japan. And, from what I can tell, another company called
Hamster (?!) bought up the rights to do a re-release from DE. Hamster also
seems to have bought up a good amount of games for re-release from the defunct
Human, as well. Hmm.
- Zero-chan
|
Well, I have absolutely no idea myself, so we'll just assume you're right, because you sound right to me. So here you are, a Smartass Award. Enjoy it, my friend
Remember, the Smartass Award likes to write sentences using the word "stash," because it just sounds cool.
| Man this is a long letter |
|
Drew:
It seems the question of the day is about SEGA porting all it's games to other systems and even canceling the DC version in the case of Shenmue II. Its a little worrisome that SEGA has apparently sold the rights to Shenmue II to Microsoft, because that takes control of the game away from SEGA and prevents a possible multi console release. That's my two bits, about it, but here's what I really wanted to bring up, something that felt like a stake through the heart when I read it:
T
GS: Final Fantasy IV coming to Wonderswan Color
Aaargh! What about all that stuff that Square said about it not being possible to bring the SNES versions of the game to WSC. Now I know the line Square is using to explain it, "Nintendo won't give us a GBA license." But I've realized two things:
1) Nintendo doesn't really care if Square returns to the GBA.
2) Whenever Square talks about supporting the most popular platforms or that they want to support the GBA, it's just their friendly way of sucking wind.
First things first:
Nintendo couldn't care less about Square on the GBA, because the GBA is going to sell like hotcakes anyway and has virtually every other major 3rd party on it. After about 7 months of release in Japan and 4 months in NA and Europe, there are already 10 million GBAs in consumer's hands, and it certainly looks as if Nintendo has another 100+ million seller on it's hands. What would Square add to that, not much, most people who would buy it because Square was on side, would probably buy it for other games too--with or without Square. So instead of 100 million sold without Square, they'd sell 100.1 million GBAs with Square.
But what about software, wouldn't nintendo make a fortune from the licensing fees, yes, but they'd also lose money from everyone else. Most consumers have a limited amount of cash to spend and if they buy the next game from Square, they'll pass on the next game from Capcom, Konami, Namco or (god forbid) Nintendo! So while Square might sell a few million cartridges, that's a few million cartridges less that other companies will sell.
What Nintendo does need from Square is games for the GameCube. The GameCube is the one going head to head with the PS2 and the X-Box. Right now, the GameCube is building up a decent library of games, but it still needs more, it may have Nintendo's own games and 3rd party exclusives like Resident Evil and Soul Calibur II (Namco recently said it would be GC-only), it could still use a powerhouse like Final Fantasy. It doesn't have to be exclusive, but just having it would help and could easily add a few million in GC sales and more hardware means more software.
So what would the Big N do? Simple, dangle the GBA as bait and get Square to sign up for GC in the process, if they don't, Nintendo yanks the GBA away.
Now here's the Square half of it.
Square said they wanted to support the GBA, and even considered porting some titles to the GC, FFXI specifically due to it being online and they need as many gamers as possible to pay for the servers. But they didn't want to put any real development into the system, they're still pretty much convinced that the PS2 is going to stay on top, and I don't disagree with that. But when they couldn't get a GBA license, what did they do, they signed up for the WSC! Now this is why I think that Square is a bunch of 2-faced hypocrites, they say they want to develop on the most popular machines, but instead of going after the GBA and making a few games for the GC--a system that will likely take a significant chunk of the world video game market, they support the WSC, a system that has only the slightest chance of making more than a dent in the portable market in Japan and even less of a chance of leaving that country. I know they plan to firmly stick with the PS2, but they're going with the WSC because they know their games will sell on any system. So why not just make some GC games that will also sell well, and get on the GBA, which is what they claim they want, they'll make a lot more money.
I really wish Square would be more honest regarding the whole GBA issue and if you really wanted to support the GBA, then do what it takes to do so. Actually, what I really want is for them to support a system that is available here so I don't have to keep hearing about their games being stuck on some Japanese only system so I can't play them!!!!!!!! (Damn Bandai bastards.)
-Kris "How long have those mice been living in your back fat?" Warren
|
I'd say this is about the longest I'll let a letter be before opting not to print it. Fortunately for you, Mr. Warren, I am the twisted dictator of this realm, and you have pleased me with the points you have made.
I absolutely agree with what you've said about Square's hypocrisy; on one hand, Square claims that the recent stock acquisition by Sony in no way dictates which platforms it will support; that it simply wants to develop for the most viable system at the time. Which certainly holds water until you consider Square's support of the WonderSwan, as you mention. Where both technology and overall sell-through are concerned, the WonderSwan lags behind the GameBoy Advance. The WonderSwan won't ever see the light of day in America. I fail to see how it would be the more viable system.
There's two possible reasons for this I can see: either Yamauchi is still being a hardhead about Square supporting the GBA, as you stated, or Square doesn't want to lend mindshare to a company in direct competition with the firm that owns 19% of its stock.
If it is the latter, that worries me some. I can't imagine it would do anything other than line Square's pockets with extra coin to do a quick-and-dirty Final Fantasy X port to the GameCube; Nintendo's games will move the system, and once on board plenty of gamers would certainly be happy enough to play FFX. However, there's a certain logic in not doing so. Now it's time for an arbitrarily placed paragraph break.
Consider this: where Square goes, Enix is most likely to go. Enix would have to be insane to put the Dragon Quest series on another system, forcing it to go head-to-head with Square's rampaging FF franchise. Where Square and Enix both go, Japanese gamers are definitely going to go. And where gamers go, third parties go. In other words, at least in Japan, no other console will stand a chance against Sony and its PlayStations as long as Square is around. Now, I'm not exactly a business major, but I can only imagine that hooking the company that owns a good percentage of your own up in a most phatacious style is excellent business.
Of course, that's all my personal take on the matter, which could be entirely erroneous. Don't come to me crying when you lose everything in the stock market foolishly placing your bets based on my hubris.
| Now Loading... |
|
Dru:
The happiest thing about TGS is that, after about a year of waiting, we're
finally starting to see the emergence of the wave of PS2 RPGs that I, along with
so many other people, had been waiting for.
By itself, Wild Arms 3 wouldn't be that interesting, just kind of neat. And by
itself, perhaps the same could be said for Star Ocean 3 or even Xenosaga. Okay,
who am I kidding -- any of these alone would have been awesome. But to hear
about them all together, not to mention the impending release of FFX, makes you
realize that the waiting has kind of been worth it.
'Cause, hey, it's not like we don't enjoy Rayman. Okay? We do, I like Rayman,
lots of people like Rayman. Ico was a buttload of awesome. Silent Hill 2, I
can only play in the daytime, and even then only if birds are audibly chirping.
But none of these are a true substitute for what we all want, which is finally
coming.
Actually, it's not so bad we've had to wait this long; it's allowed me to mostly
catch up on Square's goddamn "Summer of 15,000 Releases And Hats Of Money" or
whatever the name was.
-Ian
P.S. Yeah, I know about Okage. But goddamn, I haven't seen that much load time
since Mortal Kombat on the Sega CD. FINISH HIM!
|
It's good to see how "hats made of money" has become the official gamer term for decadence in the industry. You've got to respect the sway Penny Arcade has over gamedom in general.
As for using your letter about upcoming RPG picks to leverage into my upcoming RPG picks, I'm pretty impressed with Star Ocean 3 and Wild Arms 3 from what I've seen so far. They both have unique settings, and if the games actually play on them, they could be a nice change of pace. Here's keeping those fingers crossed.
And yeah, Final Fantasy X goes without saying.
| Topic: Pass this along to your dumbass readers too
|
|
Stop doing this: "(Read: the N64.)"
It's stupid.
-Some pharisaic prick who didn't bother to include his name
|
I'm sorry if the idiosyncrasies of my writing style offend your ultra-rad sense of structure. I didn't realize the coolest literature maven of them all was reading my column.
But while I have your attention, I'd like to know what it's like to be someone as kickass as yourself. Do you make certain to wear sweet shades and a denim jacket to school everyday? Do you have a terminally hip entourage following you around all times, always sure that the largest member is never without a boombox on his shoulder blasting the freshest hip-hop sounds?
Do you, like, walk up to really hot chicks working on their reports, point out how a sentence could be made way more awesome, stealing their hearts in the process? When doing that, do two of your buddies breakdance on either side of you to accentuate the rare display of gnarly those around are lucky enough to catch in action?
I may not have insulted you, but then you had to go and call all other DA readers "dumbasses" in the topic of your letter. Nobody insults the readers around here but me, you got that? Oh, and maybe next time you're letting me know how to become a better person, you could at least have the nerve to sign your letter.
| You're right, I personally hate you. |
|
Drew:
Yet again you prove that you are completely and utterly biased against
the Xbox and will not allow logical arguments in its favor to be heard where
it is within your power.
I quote from your column today:
"Sorry if today's column is more eschewed towards bitter, heartbroken
rants rather than coolheaded assessments of the situation, but those're the
letters that came in."
Bullshit.
Almost right after last night's column went up, I sent you an extremely
detailed letter arguing in favor of Sega's decision; it would have been one
of the first you had read. It used facts as arguments, it was written
logically-- and it didn't speak ill of the Xbox or of Microsoft. You refused
to print it. Instead you only printed letters from people who hated
Microsoft, thought the Xbox was crap, and felt "betrayed" by this decision,
whether or not they backed up their arguments with any facts or anything
remotely resembling logic. Worst of all, you claimed that those were the
only letters you received (an outright lie).
It seems that every time I write such letters to you, you refuse to print
them. God forbid that one of your readers should be allowed to say something
good about the Xbox. Brooke is the same way-- she spouts idiotic bullshit
denouncing Microsoft and the Xbox and when I sent in a detailed letter that
completely destroys her arguments [We truly bow before you. -Ed.], she just ignores it.
You and your colleagues should be ashamed that you choose to be so
completely biased and closed-minded when you claim to run a comprehensive
gaming news site. Personally I'm disgusted with every single one of you.
-Nij
|
When I put yesterday's column together, I was actively seeking out letters from Microsoft proponents for the sake of representing both sides of the argument. That I failed to print your letter yesterday leads me to one of three conclusions:
- Your letter was simply uninteresting, and didn't present an argument I felt would have been beneficial to the debate at hand. Just because you threw in a few facts, as you assert, doesn't mean your letter instantaneously became a work of art.
- Your letter was totally condescending in tone and insulting to myself, or more importantly, my readers. But seeing how civil you've been in this specimen, I don't see how that could possibly be the case.
- It just got lost between the dozens of pieces of junk mail I receive every damn day. Sorry.
I know it's more fun to assume that I'm acting on a personal vendetta against you for your selfless defense of the Xbox in the face of my unjust criticism, though, so feel free to think that instead.
| What's with insulting other readers? |
|
I'm so sorry, but I found a lot of the letters you printed the other day to be terribly one-sided--and quite naive to boot. My letter probably won't get printed, since I dare question the undying love of all things Nintendo...but, hey...I may as well write in the hopes that it will be printed.
Everyone who makes comments about Microsoft "bullying", and "pulling that kind of etc." really needs a desperate wake-up call. Sony can buy 19% of Squaresoft, and nobody bats an eyelid...but Microsoft arranges one exclusive title and everyone's up in arms about how evil they are. Nintendo can leverage GBA licensing fees to get Resident Evil on the Gamecube, but Microsoft is the Evil Empire.
Bleh. People need to wake up and realize the harsh reality that the videogame business is just that: a business. EVERY exclusive title you have ever seen has been bought. A publisher makes more money off of a multi-platform strategy--it's NEVER a publishers first choice to be exclusive. However, console-makers throw money at them, and they get exclusive titles for their system. That's why Final Fantasy will probably never see the light of day on any other platform than a Sony one, and why Rare--while technically a "third-part"--has been Nintendo's lap-dog for the last ten years.
Nintendo doesn't care about you. Sony doesn't care about you. Why should you expect the same from Microsoft? Nintendo, Sony, and Microsoft are out for one thing, and one thing alone: money. While Nintendo tries oh so hard to portray itself as so loving and caring...they're just as bad as anyone has ever been. The "Nintendo Difference" basically means that instead of throwing cash at 3rd-parties, they leverage fees (usually Gameboy.)
Sony is far more evil in terms of Microsoft than Microsoft can afford to ever be. (Yes, Microsoft as a *company* has money, but the Xbox has a budget of its own...and Microsoft spend most of its cash on Windows and Microsoft Office development/marketing...Don't assume Microsoft is very strong in the console industry--they aren't.) Unlike Microsoft, over 80% of Sony's revenues nowadays are from, and thus *for* the Playstation business. They have millions to throw around to get what they want. Sony buys of an entire *developer* one day, but what do people get upset about? Oh, because Xbox secured an exclusive game. I didn't see anyone crying and moaning about Resident Evil being bought out by Nintendo a few weeks back--just accolades about how awesome the Gamecube will be.
It's painfully obvious that people want to Xbox to died just because it's Microsoft, and not for any other reason. The fact rather sickens me, because in your effort to prove your "hardcore" nature, you are pulling the same crap that you complain about. Your same "just because" point of view is the same reason the Dreamcast died--despite the fact that it was one of the best consoles ever made. In fact, the complaints are strikingly similar.
With the Dreamcast, people complained that "Sega screwed them in the past," that Sega "didn't have 3rd party support," and that the "controller was too big." Let's see...replace "Sega" with "Microsoft" and you've got *exactly* what people are saying about the Xbox now. Perhaps it would be a good idea and judge the system based on what actually happens? Otherwise, you may be blindly sentencing possibly a great system to an untimely death for the sake of bias.
-Jayde
|
I'm going to be honest; I agree with most of your points, but I don't feel the other DA readers can rightfully be accused of being naive for their disillusionment. Naiveté in no way plays into people's complaints; the people who wrote in yesterday knew the only two things they needed to know: they own a Dreamcast, and Shenmue II has been canned. This made them angry. Say what you will about the aggressive, uncaring nature of the industry, but it doesn't exactly change that situation or make it any better.
As for your Xbox/Dreamcast comparison, there's a huge difference: journos were all behind the Dreamcast specifically because it had unique first party titles. Microsoft seems content to try to go after the same demograph with as the PS2 with the exact same types of games; the company is in no way contributing to the evolution of the media. At least not to the extent that Sega did with the Dreamcast.
The Dreamcast failed because of a combination of poor marketing, an all-too-early release, and a severely tarnished image. Should the Xbox fail, it will be because the company failed to carve out a unique niche, rather going directly after Sony without providing the goods. If Microsoft thinks they can abscond with Sony's audience, fantastic, but Halo and Munch sure as hell aren't going to do it.
And now to hear from an equally vocal proponent of the opposite side of the fence as myself.
| Come talk to me about this 1 year from now, pal |
|
You people make me sick. Are Microsoft and Bill Gates evil because they seem to be getting all the good stuff? Let's see, so far they have most of Namco's stuff (Soul Calibur II, Ridge Racer VI, etc.), Konami's stuff (Silent Hill 2 Director's Cut, Metal Gear Solid 2, and Metal Gear Solid X), a lot of Capcom stuff (Onimusha II, and almost every other property sans RE), Sega (Jet Set Future, Gunvalkyrie, Sega GT2K2, Shenmue II, Crazy Taxi NeXt, and PSO), virtually every good third-party American developer (which I won't get into, since you seem to be "against" most American games), and countless (enhanced) ports of many PS2 games. The only thing Microsoft doesn't have are Squaresoft RPG's which present the same over-used concepts in battle systems and clichéd storylines. Less than two years ago, Sony was the huge conglamorate in the industry that every publisher flocked to. Now Microsoft's doing it and it's wrong? "Sony and Nintendo care about consumers!" Whatever you say.
Frankly, I'll buy an Xbox before I buy a PlayStation 2, just because it's cheaper (since it includes hard disk and ethernet adapter components). Furthermore, I want to use these peripherals to enhance GAMEPLAY, not turn my console into a mini-PC like Sony thinks I should do. And I want to play online using voice communication (keyboard on consoles are just a stupid idea). I can play 95% of the stuff that'll be released on the PS2. What am I missing on the PS2? Kingdom Hearts and Xenosaga? Pft.
The Tokyo Game Show only re-established my faith in Microsoft, who is giving gamers stuff of all genres on both sides of the Pacific. When I turn to any PS2 page, all I see is Xenosaga, Star Ocean 3, Kingdom Hearts, Grandia Xtreme (hahahaha!), Legaia II, among other bland sixty-hour RPG's that feature the same ol' boring turn-based crapolla that no one really has time to--or wants to--play anymore (well, 'cept you guys :D). If PS2 is only going to turn into another RPG box, then count me out.
Someone please bring to my attention why Xbox was the wrong choice for Sega and the gazillions of other third-parties that went to this company? And if it has so many developers onboard, how can it fail as badly as you say?
|
Whooooah, now let's back up a minute here. Before I address any of your other comments, I'm going to get to this idea that we "have something against American games." That is simply not the case. However, had you been, I don't know, reading anything we post, you may have noticed that we are, in fact, a console RPG/Adventure/Rhythm site. Would you care to name a few of the fantastic American-developed jaunts in those genres? Okay then. Moving along.
Secondly, while I appreciate the slick way you completely distorted the discussion at hand to list off Xbox titles, that's entirely besides the point. People are upset not over the fact that Shenmue II has gone to the Xbox, but that it has been canned for the Dreamcast after the company swore up and down that would not be the case. The fact that the North American market is the only one to get this treatment is just pouring salt in the wound.
Sure, people may question Sega's logic in supporting a console that has yet to prove itself, but that's not what the anger's about. You can bet people would be just as livid if Shenmue II had suddenly been dumped on the GameCube instead.
And now is where the real fun starts. Those who hate when I tear into poor logic may wish to skip ahead at this point. Whee.
First of all, I find it amusing that you list off games like Silent Hill 2 and Onimusha 2, then procede to attack the Final Fantasy series for not being innovative. It sounds to me like you're just justifying to yourself the lack of a high-profile series on the console you've clearly chosen as your preemptive "favorite." And say what you will, but nearly all of the sweet titles you list for the Xbox are ports of the games people can get on a PS2 -- and still have FFX. The Xbox has very, very few exclusives, and none of them are particularly important to the general public. Gamers may care about Halo, but Joe Blow from Idaho does not.
Finally, if having a games-specific console was really such priority with you, you'd be getting a GameCube. Not only is the GameCube the cheapest console by far, but it was designed ground-up solely as a gaming console; nothing less, nothing more. As for the PS2 and Xbox, they're both a lot more computer-ish. Both PS2 and Xbox theoretically have the capability to run typical PC-style applications such as word processors or web browsers. All you need is a fast processor (both have it) versatile input ports (both have them) and the ability to save data (both have that). Not only that, but seeing as the PS2 supports DVD movie play-back out of the box, whereas the Xbox does not, I'd say that would make it the more economical of the two.
Lastly, if you hate RPGs so much, why are you even reading this site and writing into this column? It seems to me like you just wanted to toss a few insults in the direction of people who don't care for your beloved Xbox. I think I speak on behalf of the vast majority of readers when I say "bite me."
Closing comments:
Well, today's column was certainly filled with hatred and ill-will. But why let the good times stop so soon? Tomorrow, let Brooke know your best gaming alienation stories. You know, ways gaming has alienated friends, family, whomever. Let her know about the time you passed on a date to play Final Fantasy VII. Divulge the time you called your own mother a dirty name for turning off your PSX while you were in the middle of a game. Just cleanse yourself of the guilt. You don't even have to sign the letters if you don't want to. Consider this the DA version of Pathetic Geek Stories.
-Drew Cosner: hater of chibified Selphie
|
|
|
|
