If there were ever a video game based upon a band, that band would have to ultimately be The Backstreet Boys.

Before the wailing sirens go off, and I'm hunted down and ruthlessly murdered for saying the dreaded 2 words, let me explain; I'm not a fan of BSB, nor do I enjoy any music of their genre. But if you think about it, The Backstreet Boys have a huge worldwide fanbase, are immediately recognizable, and have (and I feel queasy saying this) decent music. So, where do we begin? First, a publisher: I could easily see Capcom and Squaresoft together.

Why Squaresoft? Come on: a band of 5 bishounen boys? Doesn't that go right up Square's alley *ahem, Squall and Tidus, ahem*? And they'd be desperate to grasp up yet another name to dominate under the spreading wings of the Square empire. They've already deceived Disney. So, if Square has anything to do with it, it'll be an RPG.

Now, with Capcom tagging along, you can bet it'll have a goofy title and a fluffy plot. Let's see...I can foresee it going along the lines of "Backstreet Grand Hyper Team Alpha Mythic Adventure Legend Boys Versus." Or something to that measure. The main goal of the game would be to dominate the world and capture the hearts of all the female population in the land, while battling the evil Minions of Music, each of which command and are named after their respective genre: Rap, Country, Alternative, Rock, and Punk. But the mastermind behind all these evils are none other than...N*Sync! MWA HA HA!!

Er...ahem...yeah, that's about it.

-Anonymous, please.

hello drew,

what band would i feature in a videogame? godspeed you black emperor! definetely comes to mind. perfect end-of-the-world, apocalyptic music but with a little touch of hope hidden deep inside it, reminding you that even though the world is fucked up beyond repair, there is a group of 9 dedicated polygonal characters who would beg to differ, who will fight what at times might seem like a futile battle against corporation or goverment x, even though everyone's telling them its a worthless struggle and that they should just grow up and get a job as innkeepers in their hometowns.

which is really what gybe! is all about to begin with. and, of course, that group of polygonal characters will be gybe! themselves: efrim, sophie, norsola, mauro, aidan, bruce, thierry, dave, and roger.

noam chomsky would be the wise scholar and mentor, who somehow manages to make an airship out of all of his books. and the hotel2tango would serve as the group's headquarters which, of course, gets bombed like a poor 3rd world country within the first hour of the game.

depending on the actions you take (yes, it's one of those multiple ending blasphemy rpgs), you will either defeat the bad guys and live happily in an anarchist society for the rest of your life, or die of old age working for the goverment. so it's 1936 or 1984.

the music will still be depressing either way.

-orlando

Bands in games...it's hard to come up with an idea that doesn't reek of the worst kind of cross-marketing. I will put in my three cents though...

Band Simulation. Like a dating simulator except you're making a band. Pick your style. Pick your bandmates. The gigs and practice sessions could be like a rhythm game. The cool part is...you could download songs off of your own CDs or download them off the internet (if there is a modem on the system). You play your way up from garage band to mainstream mania (special add-on level where you can self-destruct). Or you can choose the alternative rout and go for underground touring band, bucking authority and ultimatetly bringing about a counter culture revolution. If you do the right combinations you can make your favorite band. You can make it into a world where the Beatles or the Pixies didn't break-up. A world where Cobain didn't kill himself, and Nirvana became the gods of all creation. Or, even more unbelieveable, a world where rap-metal doesn't suck huge ass.

My other idea is Limp Bizkit the game. Esstentially you just bash the members of Limp Bizkit with sticks for hours on end. Pure gaming bliss.

-Figure Four "an underwater guy who patrols the sea"

When I was just a wee lad of twelve or so, there was an arcade game based on the group Journey. It was moderately addicting puzzle action, and fun in it's own dorky way. It was early arcade, so I think the music was midi. It was a long time ogo

One thing about a game based on a music group is that it might turn into the infamous "let's turn the movie into a game" premise. Fun suffers, because there just isn't enough material in a two hour movie to make a thirty hour game. So, there's got to be a lot of material. Then, there's content. Rage Against the Machine's adventures against "The Machine" would be a hell of a lot of no fun. Especially for an Evil Capitalist(r) like myself. Not to mention they would have to admit, finally, that they have beaucoup bucks. So, we need a band with good stories to draw you into a game or level of a game. Ok, let's get on with the nominees.

Oingo Boingo. The best band you've never heard of. Great songs, great stories. More than fifteen years worth of material. My choice. Too bad they've disbanded. Danny Elfman is my personal savior.

Metallica. Yeah, they're Evil Capitalists(r). But their music has some of the darkest stories in recording history. Imagine a game based on Master of Puppets, and you'll see where I'm going here.

Pink Floyd. Attempt to have your pudding without eating your meat. These guys coud do it. Their music takes you to another world, and the gaming industry would benifit from their creativity. Roger Waters is the bad guy.

I would suggest The Who, but I think "Dark Room" was based on "Tommy." Best pinball game I ever played.

N.W.A. "Here's a little gangsta short in size... a t-shirt and Levi's is his only disguise. Built like a tank, yet hard to hit... Ice Cube and Eazy-E cold runnin' shit!" Now that's a game I would play.

-nicoffeine, showing his age.

As much as I enjoy your wonderful gaming site, I'm always peeved when one of the RPG classics, Xenogears, does not appear when I search in your games menu. It's beyond me how someone could have forgotten one of the greatest RPGs of all time. I sadly have to turn to your competition at rpgamer.com for all my Xenogears needs. With the upcoming XenoSaga, I'm sure this title will be a hot topic. thanks

--Julia Staisch

Drew, what I am about to say may change the fate of the universe...

The cast of Gorillaz should be playable characters in Jet Set Radio Future, and Clint Eastwood should be on the soundtrack.

That is all.

-Kung Fu Dude, who's useless, but not for long.

Why is it this column seems to be prejudice against PC Gamers? I never see any PC gamer's letters published. Now, I understand that this is a console column, but some of the questions you people ask apply to both console and PC gamers (For instance, "Are you addicted to gaming?") . I would love to see more PC letter in there (Including mine, which I send in every other day and never get published)

Regarding Beowulf's letter from yesterday:

Ellen's first show didn't bomb because she came out. It declined rapidly in quality after the coming-out, becoming less a sitcom than a weekly visit from Ellen the Ambassador to Tolerance. I watched an episode after the smoke had cleared a bit and was sorely disappointed with what was passing for comedy at that point, despite being a fan of DeGeneres' standup. A sitcom's priority is to be funny. The 'message' is secondary to the yuks.

Soapbox stomped.

-Witty Nickname

Hey, Drew.

If I had to choose any musical icon for a game, the only choice is obvious: Sean "Puffy" Combs, AKA P. Diddy.

Imagine: The game could start out as a RPG-type adventure, as you traverse New York and interact with your connections and fellow rappers, trying to find out what really happened to Notorious B.I.G. But then, when things get dirty (e.g. someone makes a move on Jennifer), it could become a FPS. You would shoot as many background objects and stir up as much trouble as possible before the cops show up. Then, before they catch you, you find a good place to stash the gun, and convince the cops that you're innocent.

Of course, the game gets more difficult as the same situation keeps happening and people begin to stop believing you. Developing stealth skills as the game progresses would be essential. You would gather more and more clues about B.I.G.'s death, and eventually find the killers, who would be your final challenge.

If you got caught, you would have to play a court minigame as Johnny Cochran, and eventually get Puffy back on the streets.

The game would appeal to the hip, rap-loving youth of today, and naturally sell like hotcakes. It would be a stroke of marketing genius.

~Obese Rat, who wants a Chicken Cookie for recognizing last week's Elements of Style reference.