The NBT -
October 1, 2001 - Brooke Bolander
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed
within this column are those of the participants and the
moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the
GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive
material afoot. Biological warfare seems to have already started in my hometown. Don't say we didn't warn you.
I was raised by old gaming systems.
Yep. Abandoned at birth, I was taken in and raised by a family of wise old consoles. My father was a SNES, my mother a Saturn. The day I saw them brutally cracked to bits by a baseball-bat wielding thug was the day I lost my soul. I'm learning to love again, but it's a tough journey - won't you join me?
...Drew, on the other hand, was raised by a wacky band of wisecracking cartoon ducks. But let's not get into that. I'm sick again, I'm tired, and fried chicken strips taste a lot worse coming back up than they do going down. Make of that what you will.
Games? I know nothing of zeez 'games.'
| Smile, darn ya, smile. |
| Someone said 'Radical' in a letter yesterday, that was tubular,
I'm not really excited about anything coming up. I don't have a PS2 or a
GBA, and I won't be able to afford one anytime soon. All you jerks who own,
or will soon own, systems that didn't die with the 20th century can just burn
in hell for all I care.
Gilbert, considering taking up the craft of "treasure hunting"
|
Extreme, dude. Totally.
Sounds like someone was raised by a 32X. I can understand the bitterness though; all these lucky bastards gloating about ICO and Silent Hill 2 and Okage and Hoshigami and I want to kill you all....oh shit, I'm speaking my thoughts out loud again. Sorry.
I'm happy for them. Really. People with money and games and more than one system make me smile like a child with a fresh new lollipop. Yeah. You should smile and be happy for them too. Think of it this way - we'll all be crumbling in boxes underground when it's said and done, and those shiny new Game Cube systems? They won't save you from the icy hand of death. Certainly cheers me up.
| Why can't I love my games like I should? |
| Brooke. Drew's topic made me think. What upcoming RPG am I looking to the
most? The sad answer, unfortunately, is none.
Growing up, an RPG came along about the same time we had a solar eclipse.
I'd always saved what little money I'd won from the schoolyards playing
dices or obtain the dough from the constant begging to my parents and use
that to buy the next RPG for the NES or SNES. No matter how good or bad
that game was, I'd always tear through it with a passion since it was the
only new RPG available for months.
(On a side note, I remember paying $69.99 for Final Fantasy III. Games were
expensive back then. With inflation factored in, that must be worth an
least $100 in today's dollar. So those people who say that games are too
expensive today must have gotten into video games from the PSX era on).
Forward to today. Star Ocean 3? Xenosaga? Dragon Warrior VII? Doesn't
have my pulse racing like it did before. I seriously believe that my lack
of enthusiasm is due to the fact that there a glut of RPG's currently out in
the market and that I have found the joys of girls. Having one is the
ultimate kryptonite when it comes to gaming.
-DK
|
Hmmm. Could it be that actually GETTING what we wanted - a whole bucketload of RPGs released in the US - has jaded us to the point where we no longer want them or care? If holidays came every day, they wouldn't seem as fun - I wonder if the same phenomenon is at work amongst the RPG community. I don't have as much enthusiasm as I once did about them myself, truth be told. Games are fun and all, but once you get out into world and, you know, find other human beings, they kinda fade into the background.
Of course, if you can find other people who are fun to be around and like to play games, it's even better. RPGs aren't exactly a team effort kind of thing, though. They're kinda like the 'angry psycho loner' model of gameplay.
| Ducks with football helmets. |
| Brooke,
Hmm, let's see....what RPG do I reeeeeeeally want to play....
...
...
...SUIKODEN III!
And to think I was really worried about the transition from 2d to 3d. This game looks so beautiful my eyes ache just looking at it. This is, of course, not even mentioning the character design. There's a duck in a football helmet! Genius!
-Megane, quite the little fanboy
|
If there's one thing games have been sadly missing as of late, it's ducks in football helmets. Sure, ICO is pretty, but are there ducks in football helmets? Hell no. Silent Hill 2 may be piss-in-your-pants scary, but does it have helmet-wearing waterfowl? I think not.
I personally think Suikoden III will be the ultimate duck-wearing-a-hat gaming experience that everyone's been waiting for. It's quackers! Get it? GET IT? Hahahahahaah!
...Morphine drip. Please. For the love of GOD someone send me painkillers.
| That's extreme with an X! X-TREME! |
| Your highness,
I must admit that the RPG I am looking the most forward to is Okage:
Spirit King. I'm not quite sure what it is about being possessed by Satan
that makes me like this game, but it sure works for me.
I have an inkling of an idea as to why I wish to own such a fine piece
of PS2 software. It's because I'm a gigantic freak. I like the weird
games. I own them all. Name a weird, freaky, or bizarre game, and I own
it. Silhouette Mirage? Got it. Dance Dance Revolution? Got it, go to the
arcade to play it, and have become good at it. It's depressing, really. I
can go around and tell people about how skilled I am at a game where you
dance around like a freak. Wait a minute. There's that word again. Why is
it that it always comes up when I'm talking about myself?
Any game that contains being possessed by a demon and being accompanied
by a cursed umbrella wielding female knight ranks pretty highly in my book,
and I've already got the game preordered. Just a couple more days at it
shall be mine!
MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA COWER IN FEAR!!!!
- Dafheed, foaming at the mouth
|
Be proud of your freakiness, man. Remember, back in '95 or '96 they were making stickers that said "FREAK" in large green letters. Because, you know, that was a really EXTREME! time back then. When people went to work on snowboards and drank enough Mountain Dew to ensure that their children's children's children wouldn't be able to spawn - those were the days.
...The game, the game, right. It looks cool enough, but if the translation doesn't get unkinked, it's going to be more like getting possessed by Satan than you could ever imagine. Personally, I never preorder. I like to know how good or bad a game is going to be before I slap down fifty bucks for it - think about the people who bought Legend of Dragoon or Ephemeral Fantasia without playing first, and think about whether or not you want to take that risk. Is it worth it? Is it reaaaally worth it?...
| At least there's no vibrator included...yet. |
| Well, first off tell Mr. Cosner it's "bated" not "baited" ... But anyway...
l dunno if l actually be able to get a hold of it, but that AtL Collection looks really interesting. I mean, Arc 1, 2, 3, and Arc Arena? And, on top of that a grocery list of other goodies that far surpasses anything I've ever received during a preorder (the most I ever received was from MGS on the PSOne, a sampler soundtrack and a T-shirt)
But anyway, about the Arc series, I thought I read in some old gaming mag that it was developed by G-Craft?? (Squaresoft's daughter company?)
Also, FFX is definitely on the list too... So there.
- JR
|
I'm sure Mr. Cosner would want me to tell you to bite him. Feel better? Good.
Yeah yeah, everyone and their granny wants the AtL collection. I'd be foaming at the mouth for it as much as anyone, but...
1. I have no money.
2. I'm not a huge strategy fan.
3. I don't think I need a pack of Arc the Lad panty hose or whatever they're packaging along with the games. It seems like slight overkill...what if someone just wants the games and not all the extra stuff? What then?
Um, still go and buy it, though. Because WORKING DESIGNS IS REALLY, REALLY COOL. What I won't do for a Nall plushie...sigh.
| I bent my joystick. |
| First of all, if you want an innovative PC game, I have one thing to tell
you: Deus Ex.
At any rate, I think there will always be generations of consoles. PCs
stopped having "generations" because the technology began to advance so fast,
it was impossible to pack the technology into packages in predetermined sets.
Instead, as new things were made, they were put out individually. In other
words, PCs stopped being generational and started being more evolutionary
because they are, at their core, modular. You know, buy some RAM here, get a
new motherboard/processor, pick up a new 3D card.
Consoles, by their very nature, are not modular. That's why consoles are
cheaper than PCs, even though the interior hardware is much the same: they
are all standardized (and thus easier and cheaper to produce in mass
quantities). The only way consoles could start muddling their development
the way PCs have is if companies keep producing new consoles all the time,
which is, of course, impractical and counter-productive.
This standardization is why consoles 1) are theoretically better gaming
platforms than PCs (though this, in practice, is debatable) and 2) have the
five-year life cycle Drew mentioned. Producing consoles any more often than
that is not lucrative. And of course, you're going to have generations -
that is, all the consoles coming out basically at once - because competitors
need to keep up with their competition to compete. (Which is why you won't
see PS2 one year, GC the next and XBox the next, which would be a sort of
non-generational, evolutionary movement.)
Besides, standardization is what makes a console a console. Otherwise, it's
just a PC that uses your TV for a monitor.
-Eightball, who didn't plan for this letter to get so overbearingly analytical
|
...My cat's breath smells like cat food. That's a nice way of saying I don't know jack about PC games, but wanted to stick this in to pacify you who do.
So yes. Cat food.
| ...Yeah, well, I'm bitter too. Nyah. |
| Brooke,
Is it just me or do women suck? Nothing personal, but I'm
convinced it could be scientifically proven. (Then again, I'm sure the same
thing could be said of men) "But I'm not bitter..."
Topic? Oh... right. On the old RPG system of choice, I'm all hot and
bothered thinking about Hoshigami. Nose-less characters just make me all
warm and tingly. As for the "next gen" systems, I'm more than a little
excited about Suikoden III. Not only is Suiko the only decently written
semi-continuous story, but the new look is actually not half-bad. On the
other hand, the prospect of having to juggle three seperate storylines has
my already muddled brain reeling. Just say no, kids. (Unless you've had the
kind of weekend I've had)
Dark Schneider, who's not bitter.
|
The last person who said women sucked in this column got his testicles removed without anesthetics while Janet Reno sat on his face (thanks for that image Zell.) But if you've just gone through a breakup or something, I'll let you off. I guess. For now.
I like noseless character designs too. I have no idea why, but it seems to make the cuteness ratio of said characters go up by about 50%. Of course, in real life people without noses are shunned as horrible freaks and sold to circuses, but not in strat RPGs or animes. There they are GODS. Be proud, lil' guys.
| I wish. |
| Besides FFX...
I don't know what this says about me, but I would seriously consider man-whoring myself for Skies of Arcadia/Eternal Arcadia 2. The characters were engaging (fun kids mostly unburdened by moral ambiguities) and the Ship to Ship battles rocked. I often found myself flying around in Valuan airspace just to whoop some Armada ass with the Delphinus. The upgrading/customization features of the ship and the base, Crescent Isle, along with the overall fun gameplay and rock solid environment design, helped make Skies of Arcadia one of the best RPG's not made by Square. Except for the excessive random encounter rate (maybe an EncHalf/EncNone accessory like FF would be good), I wouldn't change any of the underlying mechanics for a sequel. Too bad the Dreamcast had to die and make the prospects for a sequel so uncertain.
*sigh*
In short, if Final Fantasy deserves 10 sequels, then SoA deserves at least one.
The Top 5 -
1. FFX
2. Skies of Arcadia 2 (Please? Pretty please?)
3. Xenosaga
4. Suikoden 3
5. Growlanswer 2
Honorable Mention: (WildArms3, Star Wars Galaxy, FFXI)
- Joon "How-Will-I-Find-The-Time-To-Play-All-These-Games-And-Not-Flunk-Out-Of-College" Choi
|
I want a Skies of Arcadia sequel, and I want it bad. However, I've only heard maybe one rumour about this going around, so I don't even know if it's in development. Dammit, one of the few games I'd actually like to see a sequel for, and we probably won't ever get it. I hate you, Fate.
Just please, God, no more random battles. There were times I got so agitated at the prospect of fighting more Loopers I'd squeeze the controller until it made audible cracking sounds. And it wasn't that way in the dungeons - just the world map, which was what you wanted to explore. The hell?
| Luca's really a big teddy bear. *Suikoden I, II AND FFIX spoilers* |
| Hiya Brooke,
I can say without a doubt in my mind that I'm looking forward to (and quite
possibly only looking forward to) Suikoden 3. Why you ask?
Because I find the series more fun than any other RPG series, including any
Final Fantasy game (including X, which I'm still playing every so often).
No other RPG has made me go through so many emotions. Yes, it was all sad
when Aerith (or Aeris, whatever) died or when we found out Vivi was made out
of the mist. However, I bawled when those spores ate Gremio, or when the
arrows killed Nanami in Rockaxe Castle. Ohhhhhhhhh and then there's Kefka. I
can respect him because he was psycho, but I think Luca Blight is far
crazier. And no other villain has made me so angry.
Now, Konami goes and makes Suikoden 3. At first I was skeptical, since it
looks different than the others (especially the battle system, and that was
a big factor in me loving the first two). Now, I'm eagerly anticipating the
release. What, its like only 2 months away? Gives me enough time to work on
Genso Suikoden Card Stories and Genso Suikogaiden Vol. 2 some more, and it
gives me a chance to get Vol. 1.
Plus, there's a chance that Miklotov and Camus could be back. I'd pay just
about anything to see them in another game *looks at his $65 bill for Genso
Suikogaiden Vol. 2*. Ahem.
So yeah, I NEED Suikoden 3, if just to see Miklotov and Camus.
- Shane, who thinks Suikogaiden Vol. 2 is the best thing ever because Camus is
almost naked in it.
|
... Drooling fanboys are just as bad as drooling fangirls. Hmmph.
And since I'm not even trying to make any sense tonight, I'd like to say that a wacky sitcom starring Luca Blight would be really, really cool. "Everyone Loves Luca" - who's with me here? Living next door to a orphanage full of small peasant children and kittens, forced to do charity work at the local church...it could really work.
| Chicka-Bow-Wow. |
| Howdy Brooke!
I just wanted to say that I sympathize with what seems to be your zero-hour
deadline for writing the Monday column. What can ya do, eh? Well, if I were
you I'd slap Drew and call him my bitch.
Later!
- Friarjohn
|
Naaaaaah. That's AK's job. Forget Miklotov and Camus, Drew x AK is where it's at, baby. I'm busy writing explicit yaoi fics about them right now.
"Drew's rippling pecs glistened with perspiration as he held AK close. 'Oh AK!' he crooned softly, 'put your man on my moon!'"
..I am so, so, so dead for that.
| I need a good magazine right about now. |
| Yo, Brooke!
Well, I can see you really liked Ultra Game Players magazine, and
while I'd never heard of it until you mentioned it, I do have a
subscription to PSM, with the outrageously funny Bill Donahue.
I'd actually like to know what you and your readers consider is
the finest gaming publication, past and present. What magazines
have the best reviews? Previews? Page layout? Attitude? Covers?
Editorials? Other goodies?
I think my favorite mag is Electronic Gaming Monthly. Their page
layout is incredibly simple and easy to read. The "three people
per review" policy lets you know what more than one man thinks of
a game. The previews are well balanced. The opinions reflect those
of my own (and the GIA's I might add). There's also a good dose of
sarcasm and humor.
On the other hand, I think the worst mag is GamePro. The pages are
a bunch of screenshots thrown around with text poured into the
cracks (same with the covers). The review system doesn't give any
kind of solid score, and is most often disagreeable. The editors
have the opinions of 14-year-olds. They even hide behind cartoon
personas, for chrissakes!
Anyway, I'd really like to hear what 'zine most kids rely on for
the most accurate, reliable and in-depth game coverage around.
-Kung Fu Dude, who feels like he's talking on some commercial for
a local news station.
|
I never really read many others after UGP. I had a subscription to PSM for about a year, but when it ran out I didn't bother to renew it - I crave humour in my mags, and it just wasn't cutting the bill.
Oh, and Game Pro has and forever will suck. Hah hah, lookit that, they're using wacky cartoon faces for their reviews!!
How the hell would you put that on your resume, anyways? "1993-1997 : Was "Wicked Willie" the game reviewer at Game Pro magazine." It just doesn't sound right to me somehow.
Closing Comments:
Your favorite gaming mag - now and then. You read the letter, so just write in about them - your favorites, why they are your favorites, what makes one good, which are most accurate, and what makes one suck like a Hoover. I'm sure you can figure that out. And I do hope it's a good enough topic, really I do.
- Brooke Bolander, Ka-POW.
|
