Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Corporation teashirt, stupid bloody tuesday. Don't say we didn't warn you.

I've got two interesting links for you today, and neither of them pertain to the other in any way, shape or form. The first one, The Unofficial UGP Fansite, has got more info on Game Players magazine than you can shake a Skullbat at (including an interview with Bill.) So if you're a fan you should mosey over and take a look, just for the hell of it.

The other link is slightly less humorous. At Alternative Tentacles there are two new news articles up, one by Tamim Ansary that you might already have seen, and the other by Michael Moore. The one by Moore got to me because it pointed out a fact I wasn't previously aware of - this May, Bush sent the Taliban $48 million, because they've outlawed drugs. He knew what a bunch of shitheads they were, and yet he sent them money because they don't allow drugs. If you didn't think Bush was an idiot before, this should make you pause and take a good long look at who we have in office.

I think that's all I need to say for now. On to the letters.

Tell me something. Did I ever once in that intro say that Square was any better? Hmmmm? Oops. If I had sat there and pointed out every corporate mega-conglomerate inside this country and out of it, the damned column would have never got started. Disney is just one big part of the problem.

And what a problem! Call me when Square buys a major network television station and we'll talk, hon. Squaresoft may be big, but they have yet to achieve the Hank Scorpio-ish levels of power Disney has risen to over the years. There really is a difference between merely being a big company and practically having a monopoly on everything, you know. Yes, there are a million companies like that, but like I said, I'm discussing the big D here, not them.

Oh, and you're right about the punk ideals thing. I apologize for my burgeoning stupidity - who the hell needs ideals nowadays? Stupid dumb rebellion! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go listen to Limp Bizkit while eating a Big Mac and talking on my cel phone about the latest American Pie movie. Man, if you hadn't warned me how idiotic it was to be a punk I might still be trying to make a difference! How embarrasing is that?

Editor's Note : Brooke does not own a cel phone, or a Limp Bizkit CD. She also hasn't been to the movies in over a year. The last paragraph was in a language called 'Sarcasm' that many people use to express disdain. Go ask Gord or Drew for more information if you still don't understand.

Yes, someone else who knows about Ka! This is one of the most innovative game ideas to come out in years. The controls are evidently like a rhythm game (work to a certain beat or get the crap squished out of you) but there are no hip-hopping puppies to be seen. You're a freaking mosquito! We need more weird game ideas like this people, lots more. Anyone remember Sim Ant? Heck, Valkyrie Profile is a mold-breaker in the RPG field - not a princess or an adorable animal mascot to be seen. Well, there is Jelanda, but you get what I'm saying.

I think part of the problem is that people aren't willing to take risks now, like you said. American companies don't want to ship some quirky game over from Japan that's going to sell 5 copies at the local uni, they want the latest football game that's going to sell five trillion copies to every jock and his brother.

When the systems started out, risky ventures were definitely taken. Why not? They had nothing else to lose; there were no real set genres or boundaries. Games didn't have to be a certain type to sell - they just had to be playable. But as the years passed and the companies learned what sold well and what didn't, risk-taking became less and less of an option. More money was at stake as the games and consoles became more expensive to produce. And although a breakout title or two would always pop up, things got a bit formulaic.

Or at least that's my theory.

Ahh well. We'll always have our quirky titles though, won't we? There will always be an ICO to shake things up, and to the brave individuals who are willing to step out onto that invisible bridge, I say thank you.

Yeah, now matter how much we bitch and complain about things getting stale and trite, there will always be someone out there ready and willing to shake the boat. Maybe games are like popular music - every five years we get a rock revolution of sorts, and then it falls back into formulaic pop, and then several years later the cycle starts all over again. It never fails. Mass media as a whole seems to be in a collective wish-wash right now, so maybe the gaming industry has just fallen prey to the same thing that's affecting music, television, and movies at the moment.

Now, if the public will just go and actually look for something other than what it's being spoon-fed, maybe things can move ahead a little, in games and everything else.

Hey, I don't blame you for not trusting them; I sure as hell don't. Anything original to these guys is Kryptonite - the whole Princess Mononoke fiasco is a good example of this.

As a lot of you who are into anime will know, a few years back Disney bought the distribution rights to the works of Hayao Miyazaki. Fans cringed a bit, but hoped for the best - after all, Disney has mighty powers, maybe now the work would get noticed by a wider audience. Wrong.

The only two they released, I believe, were Kiki's Delivery Service and Princess Mononoke. Mononoke, which was released by Disney's Miramax branch, was practically buried. Do any of you remember seeing commercials for this movie, despite the fact that it was playing all over America? They played commercials for it, alright - at 2 or 3 in the morning. WHY they would bury the very movie they were distributing isn't known, but some speculated that it was because they knew how much better the work was than their own animated features over the past few years, and didn't want the American public to see. And you know what? That wouldn't suprise me in the least.

And now there's a rumour going about that Disney is going to let their rights to Miyazaki's work lapse without being published. In other words, when the lease runs out, no-one's going to bother to pay the rent because they don't even want the apartment anymore. This is all well and good, but they are justifing this move by saying Princess Mononoke was a flop. Gosh, I wonder why. Assholes.

I apologize for going off on this tangent, but I think it's a pretty good example of why we should be slightly wary of Disney nosing into the RPG biz.

Eh, I was excited at first, but then I took a better look at this article and noticed a few things off. First of all, both the Tonberry stuffie pics they show are from previously made plushies that you can buy anywhere online right now. Same with the Cactuar ones.

Then I go to look at the smaller plushes supposedly coming out, and the shot they show is of a hard-to-find group of stuffed toys that were put out as a set when FFVIII was released. See, that's why PuPu's in there with all the rest.

I hate to say it, but I don't know how accurate this link is. The Mog plush is definitely a FFX exclusive, since it's used as a weapon in the game, but that Cait Sith plush is just weird. Why would they make a new Cait Sith toy now? And why is it 12 inches tall and scary? It's done almost in the same design as the Mog, so does someone else use Cait as a weapon in FFX? Does he make an unexpected cameo? Answers people, answers!

You've got a good point there. Originality is all well and good, but it has to be done well to make any kind of impact at all. Koudelka was very original for an RPG - a Lovecraftian storyline instead of the usual swords and sorcery bit - and yet it didn't do well. Not because no-one wanted it, but because it just wasn't good. If people are going to try to make original games, then they'd better do a damn good job at it. Otherwise the game companies are going to be so scared and scarred from all the past failures that they'll be afraid to take any risks at all, and we do NOT want that.

Okay, I have to apologize for not making myself more clear when I said that. I didn't mean it was original as much as just plain weird. Original, no. The lead character looks like every teen Tetsuya Nomura has ever designed, and the storyline is the usual "save the kingdoms from evil forces" thing, but the inherent oddness of having Square characters from different games and Disney characters mushed together makes up for all of that. Man, what will the townsfolk be like in this game?

And yeah, new technology (or kinky sex, take your pick) is what makes the gaming world go 'round. That's why I was hoping when the PS2 and all these other big flashy systems came out, we'd get some innovation. The Game Cube seems to be picking up the slack quite well in this respect, as a matter of fact - now if others could take an example from Nintendo, things could get very interesting indeed.

If you're the guy who brought back the eighties though, I want your head on my mantelpiece. Calling Fred Durst a dick has saved you...for now.

It's funny, most of those games you mentioned are all coming out on the Game Cube. No reason I'm pointing this out, I just find it interesting that all of those innovative games are coming out on one system. What this says about Nintendo and it's competition I will not say.

Then again, if ICO is as good as it looks like it will be, I don't think any of us who own PS2s have to worry.

...Anyways, yes any new and creative genre idea will soon be overused. No matter how original a genre is when it's introduced for the first time, there will soon be a million games doing the same thing, and probably not even as well. The solution? Keep making more genres!

No, I am not serious. Shut up.

You know, I felt the same way as you do not long ago, but as of late, I just find myself burnt out on most RPGs. Of course, that doesn't mean that I won't run out and buy FFX just as fast as the rest of you, but I'm really looking forward more to ICO or the next Harvest Moon game than Wild Arms 3, if you get what I'm saying.

I guess it's all in what entertains you. Some people are fascinated by balls of string. Other find Legend of Dragoon almost as enthralling as said ball of string. But as for myself...eh. It's going to take all my willpower to play through this copy of Thousand Arms I bought, just because I get the feeling I've done it all before.

However, Skies of Arcadia was the last RPG I played that really hooked me, and it had some of the most cliched RPG shticks in the book. Just goes to show that if a game is done well, originality sometimes doesn't even matter.

Wow. I didn't know Austin Powers read my column - learn something new every day, eh?

Seriously though, you're scaring me. Button those pants up, mister! No girl is going to want to come and play...ahem...games with you if you're too busy drooling or otherwise secreting all over your controller. Just a word of advice.

Yeah, but I don't know if the popularity of Pokemon has to do with the fun of the game, or the massive overhyping that has come in it's wake. You could be right though. I really don't understand kids very well myself. Hell, I didn't understand other kids when I was a kid. I just hope they don't simplify KH to the point where it's ridiculously easy - I wanna play toooo!

As for Tonberries...oh what an enigmatic tribe they are. I've always visualized them living in little Tonberry towns, eating fruit and ice cream (that idea came from my fiance) while they chitter and squeak sociably together in high-pitched voices. They love beautiful women, and are real ladies's men - being so damned cute, no girl can resist, you see. We just have to hug them, and that's when they look over at the camera and wink theatrically.

This is all speculation, though. I should really just let Mr. Tonberry host someday.

Closing Comments:

I'm tired of being serious. Tired of it, I say! So instead of giving you some boooring old normal topic tomorrow, I want you to answer Derek's questions. What are Tonberries? How do they live? Have you ever seen a Tonberry? Just answer his damn letter, okay?

Oh, and while you're at it, tell me what mythological creature/folk tale you would like to see made into a game or random monster. You know, like Valkyrie Profile or something. Think about it, won't you?

- Brooke Bolander, whose girly side is just screaming for a game starring a unicorn.