Hi.

Anyway. I like behemoths, as in, behemoths from Final Fantasy. I like them because they're big, purple, scary, and have fangs and teeth and claws. I like them because they use meteor, because they show up only in the most ominous areas, and because they seem to be the only honest monsters in FFIV's endgame -- the only ones without barriers or status spells. All they do is attack, counterattack, and have lots of HP. Ooh, wordplay.

(Behemoth spoilers ahead)

What I like more about behemoths than anything else is the behemoth monster design. Much as I hate to admit it, the behemoths in FFVIII were clearly the best-looking, with that horn and those beady eyes. The behemoths in FFIX were a little chubbier than other behemoths; I didn't complain. The behemoths in FFVII, while low on polygon count, were still as impressive as behemoths can be. The behemoths in FFVI, in all their multiple colors -- ranging from the ambiguously named 'Sr. Behemoth' to the invisibly transparent and visibly blue 'Intangir' -- were impressive, upright-walking, and ferocious. The behemoths in FFV were angry-looking and suitable, spiky tails included.

The behemoths in FFIV, however, I remember most fondly. I remember them because my friend and I had many heated debates about what position exactly the behemoths were lying in. I called one white protrusion a fang, he called it a claw, I mentioned something about sitting like a sphynx, he said something about sleeping like a cat. One day, he had an epiphany while fighting a party of two behemoths. He jumped up and yelled, 'They are sitting like sphynxes!'

By FFVII, while behemoths still entertained and challenged me, the imagination required to look at them had vanished, and I still look at the old behemoths with curiosity and wonder.

An interesting scenario: Testuya Nomura did the designs for FFVII because Yoshitaka Amano's designs didn't 'translate well to polygons.' Did they ever translate well to small, low-resolution, blocky sprites? I don't know. And I don't argue, either. Besides, I'm quite enamored with my own inability to tell Paladin Cecil's arms from his cape, or Golbez's anything from his anything.

I felt such a rush of accomplishment the first time I noticed Cyan's sprite had a mustache. It had totally eluded me until the final five hours of the game. When I noticed that the black shading in the middle of his face looked to be more of a mustache than a mouth, I started looking at him differently. (Yeah, I know his status portrait has a mustache -- Terra's original art has blonde hair) This new perspective was one of the factors that pushed me to play the game three more times. That, and the fact that the game kicked ass.

--tim rogers, who thought to write something long and stupid about new age retro hippies and instead wrote something long and stupid about behemoths.

I don't know about favorite, but the last RPG monster I fought against that actually filled me with something akin to terror was the Evil Wall, back in FF4. It was one of the few enemies back in those days that you could actually SEE before you fought it, but that didn't matter: once the battle music started up, I would more often than not just fumble with the controller in sheer panic as the wall slowly came closer and closer. Then it would suddenly use the "Disrupt" insta-death spell on one of my guys, making that macabre sound, and it was over for me. I'd lost it.

Actually, it seems a little weird that I was so freaked out by those guys. Maybe I was attacked by a wall as a young babe.

Keeper of the Katlike Skills,

Nistelle

Just call me 'Ah, I'ma feelin lousy' "Marco" presents:

First one's free, kid.

Monsters. Many shapes. Many sizes. Many flavours. Such is their boon. If two have stood out to me over time, they have been the Bad Rap and the Tonberry. ("Look at those legs!") With a plosive name like "Bad Rap" how can you dislike the fellow, no matter how much trouble he causes in a girls' school? However, the Bad Rap was just a precursor in the uber-genealogy which finds the Tonberry set squarely at its head.

Yes, when Overlord spawned the uber-race he made them small, green and rotund; gave them beady lil eyes, a star over their heads, a Chef's knife in one hand, a lantern in the other, a shroud on their backs and a nature impulsive to the point of "wanna see more freezers!". Yes, the Tonberry remains the deluxe monster of Murakami-esque proportions.

What other monster can be found lined up by the cabinet freezers in your local supermarket, peering through the glass at the ice cream until the lights go out whereupon they chirp "where's my ice cream?!" frantically and tear the machine to pieces?

Likewise, what monster leaps into washing machines with the clothes to get high? Only one. Yes, he's your God, he loves beautiful women. And he likes to wear mittens, too.

- 'Ah, I'ma feelin' lousy' "Marco" has been killed by Critical Doctor X, fleeing the scene in one of "Marco"'s shopping trolleys!

PS. Please do devote a whole column to Jowy, explaining how he's a victim of history and not a traitor at all.

PPS. !mih ssiM !mih ssim ,nam daed a si sirhC

This is my first time ever writing in, and with good reason. I can't believe a girl is taking over DA. This isn't bad, of course; it's ::evil voice:: excellent, very excellent. I'm a female, and I love to hear fellow gal gamers' opinions on this type of stuff. I decided to write in now since I wanted to see your work before gushing about "Negative Creep" becoming the new DA. To sum it up in one word: Refreshing. Yep, that's what your view is, all right. It's great to read a different, well-written column from someone like yourself. The newest DA was some nice stuff; keep up to good work.

Ah, now for the actual topic: Favorite monster, eh? Whelp, I am always partial to the Hunters in the Resident Evil games. They're not as stupid as zombies, while they aren't as smart as Nemesis. (They're also not as up-your-ass as Nemesis either, but that's a different topic for a different day.) Other stuff that "turns me on" about Hunters are the fact that they are fairly powerful without being *too* hostile, the fact that they rarely attack from behind like those gawd-awful Cerberuses, and they require me to use my favorite weapons- the shotgun, the grenade launcher, and the magnum- to damage them effectively. Long live Hunters!

-Lin, who has her very own Hunter sticker from the CVX domestic soundtrack.

Of the many inanimate objects that I've had to "kill" over my many RPG travels, the one that sticks is the house enemy in FF7. It was near the beginning of the game in Midgar. I'm used to other objects, such as books and even walls attacking... but an entire house?

PS

I was always partial to the trippy monsters from the Mana games. I mean, the sinister looking Final Fantasy monsters are cool until you realize that even the scariest looking will go down in two or three hits and poses no serious threat. So if we're going to have to hack through legions of mostly harmless monsters, they may as well be funny looking.

My favorite of the Mana monsters has got to be those Eggplant Men. Y'know, the ones who floated around on little, uh, float machines and breathed fire. They were cool because there was never any explanation for them. I mean, what could cause an ordinarily delicious eggplant to rebel against society and breathe fire? My guess is bad parenting. Or maybe inner city street gangs.

The Leafers from Final Fantasy 6 were funny, just because they weren't even KIND OF threatening. They were just bunnies, happily eating lettuce. I can just imagine Edgar seeing one, yelling "Fire in the hole!!" and opening fire on one of them. Remember kids, unprovoked violence is always funny when it happens to bunnies. Hee hee, I'm a poet and I'm unaware of it.

--Rich Uncle Wacky (I am love.) --

The first thing that popped into my head was "Bahamut"... but thats too easy, and really, he helps you more than he fights you...(By the way, if anyone knows exactly where he comes from in mythology, I'd like to know.. I think it's somewhere in Sumarian lore.)

But I'll go with "Molbor" aka "Molboro". The square answer to D&D's beholder. It seems these guys get nastier and nastier. In FF8, I found myself praying for a good old 'ribbon', which makes them fairly easy, negating the multiple status effects of the 'bad breath' move.

I don't know how many times I saw a party turn into a group of poisoned frogs, on the way down to the land of summoned monsters..

Obsidian Zero

One thing I have always enjoyed with the Final Fantasy series has been its recurring monsters, such as Tonberries and Cactuars. Whenever playing through the latest FF game, I always anticipate when I'll first run into one. Tonberries are great because of their stoic cuteness, and the kitchen knife is oddly kind of a creepy weapon, especially considering how evil they can be when put to use. It's hard to describe why I love Cactuars though, they're just odd little green things that hop around on one foot and shake spiky things at you. That could be the very reason why they're so great though. I wish I had the extra money to spend on a 6' inflatable Cactuar (they really do exist!), but they usually cost around $100. Eep.

As for games outside of the Final Fantasy series, it's a little harder to think of many favorites. The imps of Chrono Trigger stand out in my mind for some reason, especially the green ones..... what? I was kind of disappointed that they didn't show up in Chrono Cross, but I didn't really expect them to. Xenogears had some outright freakish creatures which I can still scare the hell out of me when I look through the monster designs in the Perfect Works book, like the obese flipper-fetus things (I can't think of any other way to describe them) or the Wels with huge skeletal hands. Each individual bone on their fingers were about the length of your upper arm! I'm surprised I never had nightmares after seeing that.

I know there must be something I'm forgetting to mention, but I'll end this here. Good luck with Double Agent, by the way. Ja ne!

-Shion

(Ooh! You're an indie rock fan! ^_^)

I've written a few letters to Double Agent in the past, but they've never been posted, so hopefully this will make it in. First, congrats on getting the job. Now then, about monsters. I've always liked the Cactaurs and Tonberrys in the FF series, Dragon Warrior Slimes, and Gongheads from the Breath of Fire series. I also always like the Emerald WEAPON, so much that I sometimes use the name as an online alias.

And speaking of Ecco, I have a memory that was dredged up by the combination of you mentioning that and monsters. Back when the Genesis was a current system, I rented either Ecco 1 or 2, I don't remember which. Somewhere in the game, there was a giant octopus or squid or something. That was the only game enemy that ever gave me nightmares. I have no clue why, but it did.

And now, for some questions.

1. Where does the name "Negative Creep" originate from? Whenever I read it, I think of the Creep the Zerg use in Starcraft, only reversed. That probably has nothing to do with it though, huh?

2. This past July, I got a PS2. I never had a PSX. So please reccommend one Playstation game that I should make an effort to find and play. Any genre, I'm just curious what you think should be top priority. (BTW, I have played FF7.)

3. Most importantly, before I can accept you as Double Agent, what is your stance on the Breath of Fire series?

Thanks in advance for reading this, and hopefully answering my questions.

SteveVo8a, hoping this gets printed

I may not have understood most of Chris's references, but hey, I am a Watership Down nut.

Am I the only one who thinks Watership Down would make an AWESOME adventure game? Just think about it--Mystery! Intrigue! Suspense! Passion! RABBITS!Okay, there wouldn't be too many battles, but it could be an "exploration game", or something. Or maybe it would be in the vein of Pikmin, with Hazel leading his force of rabbits to VICTORY! Anyway, yeah.

Speaking of Tonberry, a few months ago there were some voles living in the bushes out in front, and I affectionately named them (collectively) Master Tonberry. Am I not on the cutting edge of wit and hilarity? Oh yeah, baby--oh, yeah.

-Nick