Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Try to remember. It's only a game. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Very long column tonight, with everyone's favorite games from E3 and a little bit of business to settle from earlier in the week.

Before I get into the readers' Game of Show, I'd like to use this space to highlight my own. It was a hard choice, what with all the games I alluded to earlier--a full list of my faves of E3 would go, in no particular order, Silent Hill 2, Metal Gear Solid 2, Gitaroo-Man, Final Fantasy X, Klonoa 2, Devil May Cry, Mega Man Battle Network, Wario Land Advance, Lufia: The Legend Returns, The Lost, and Pikmin.

But one game stood over all of the above, and it was the extraordinarily accomplished new PS2 adventure game from Naughty Bird, Zak and Daxter.

Chronicling the exploits of young game journalist Zak McClendon and his pet weasel Daxter, Zak and Daxter features plenty of large areas populated with thousands of frenzied, inhuman beasts all standing in the way of Zak's objective. Yes, it's E3, and Zak must find his way to each and every one of the games he's been assigned to cover so that he can get his impressions written before midnight. But can he fend off the slavering hordes between him and a playable Okage kiosk? With Daxter's help, it just might be possible!

Sadly, that was not a tongue in cheek comment. I was aware, mind you, that Neversoft is responsible for the Tony Hawk series and the recent Spider-Man, but these things are hard to remember at 3 a.m. Hopefully we can put this shameful business behind us now and move on.

Actually, we're both wrong. Neversoft doesn't have those unsightly blemishes on their record; the developer of The Neverhood and Skullmonkeys was actually called The Neverhood. All is forgiven, then?

Not every meal can be dessert, young lady. Furthermore, I note that you had a chance for a "fun topic" yesterday and failed to respond. Do you need to spend a little while in time-out? Hmmm?

I grant you that Metal Gear Solid 2 is still the title I'm looking forward to most out of everything at E3, but I personally wouldn't give it "Game of Show." The demo's been playable for a couple months and while the new footage was great, it wasn't as much as a shocker as the original trailer, which came out of left field to show what the PS2 was capable of. This one was designed to perplex people rather than to dazzle them, and while both are valid ways of maintaining interest, the latter method is more what I'm looking for when giving out "Best of" awards.

Well, there's Jet Set Radio Future. And Munch's Oddyssee, if you can get past the grotesque character design of the hero. Beyond that, there's not a lot I can say to a question like "What Xbox games should I get excited about?" I dunno, maybe they'll make a Minesweeper port.

Although my earlier point about being the game of the show still stands, I have to agree that both of the E3 trailers were cut very well to raise interesting questions. The seemingly invincible Fortune and her lightning gun was a highlight, not to mention the underwater sequences and the revelation that "Solid Snake" is leading the Sons of Liberty.

Ah, fine, give it the Game of Show. As I recall, the first game took that honor for two years running as well. At least it's actually being released this fall, so something else can get all the attention next year.

The Jet Set Radio Future info came from an informal interview with the Smilebit team during Sega's event. When someone used the phrase "Xbox exclusive" in a question, they interrupted and said it would appear first on the Xbox and then move to other unspecified consoles, but that it wasn't exclusive to Microsoft's system. Hope that helps.

And fie on your bat-ripping ghost women. In Legend of Dragoon, many of Rose's Dragoon attacks are based around her menstruation, which was censored for the American release. Proving once again that Rose is easily the most interesting character in that mess.

Hey, half a leaf is better than none.

Pikmin was a weird experience for me. I did get the chance to play it, and I enjoyed it quite a bit, but at no point was I ever able to pin down exactly what was good about it. When I mentioned it after the show to a friend of mine, I didn't have the slightest idea where to begin talking about it. It sure was fun, though. Definitely going to be on my list of things to get along with a GameCube, assuming it's a launch title.

I dunno, Metroid GCN leaves a bad taste in my mouth. If it's so great, why's it still in video form--and only for a few scant seconds at that? Stuff we hadn't even heard about before the show was playable, and one of the first announced games for the system is still mainly a no-show. Furthermore, neither of the glimpses I saw involved any actual gameplay. All I remember is the bit with the camera pointed directly at Samus as she fires a volley of shots upward. Hardly Game of Show material, if you ask me; these days, I'm starting to wonder if the project won't just get canned.

And now, just so no one can say they didn't get equal time, here's a few non-GIA-related picks.

I saw that game. My thoughts: "Why is Sony still pushing PSone titles at their booth?" It's just hard to get too worked up about a Peanuts game when I have Land Before Time: Great Valley Racing to worry about.

That slime is, for my money, the best thing Akira Toriyama has ever drawn. It's one of those genius things where you look at it and say "I could have done that"--but you didn't, did you? And now he's a world-famous character designer for cartoons and games, and you're just sitting in front of your computer reading a gaming letters column.

As for Wipeout Fusion, I'm not a big fan of racing games but I share your enthusiasm anyway. I like the series just for its soundtrack, and Fusion looks to continue its excellent tradition in that area. It's a shame Sony Europe didn't have more of a presence, though. I never did find that Primal kiosk ...

I've never understood the purpose of straight sports videogames. It's a tired point but now, but then then nobody has been able to explain to my satisfaction why you don't just go play the actual game. But then, I'm the guy with the maraca simulator, so I suppose I have no room to talk. Hey, whatever makes you happy.

How exactly are you biased here? Are you an undercover Volition employee or something? Anyway, I've got too much on my plate now for yet another game, but maybe I'll rent it in a month or two. I like things that go boom too, you know.

See, folks? Equal time, even for games that actively repulse me on platforms I don't play.

Well, FFXI wasn't even shown, so I'm not sure where that came from. There was so little to Luigi's Mansion that I can't help but think there'll be more, and I've never been interested in Halo. Space marines! A lot of them! In jeeps! Zzzz.

But to address your larger issue of advance hype, it's a pretty shrewd move on the game companies' part. A few of them actually did showcase games that are already released--if they didn't, Working Designs wouldn't have had much of a booth this year. But for most of them, it's a chance to get lots and lots of free advertising. Granted, the booths cost quite a lot, but they result in the publication of screenshots and lengthy impressions in every one of dozens and dozens of publications, including ourselves. If you had the money to do just one thing, would you prefer to take out a few paid one-page ads with some art, some advertising text, and a screenshot or two--or would you put your game in a place where thousands of journalists could access it and write several paragraphs of enthused commentary? Yeah, I thought so.

They even get to pretend they're not really advertising. As a case in point, Nintendo is very particular never to run an ad more than three months before a product's release. And yet we've all been buzzing about the GameCube at least since August of last year, due to its presence at trade shows. Nice way not to "advertise," eh?

No hard feelings, Jagger. You know us letter columnists, we can never resist stirring up conflict.

I see your point about it being a so-so E3 on a relative scale, although I don't understand how Sony coming into its own with the PS2 is any less impressive than the Dreamcast doing the same thing in '99. Again, I might just be misunderstanding what you're saying, but it seems to me you're justifying your denouncement of this year's E3 using only Microsoft and Nintendo as supporting evidence. Of the two, Nintendo had the better launch showing by far, but you can't count out Sony's magnificent booth that easily.

As for Miyamoto, he seems like a pretty straight-edge guy to me. I prefer to think the guy's just phenomenally creative in his own right, however many subtextual implications there may be in Super Mario Brothers. The only really flagrantly druggie designer I can think of is Levelord, and I haven't exactly seen him making any kind of lasting contribution to gaming. I just don't think the kind of cohesive and intuitive design doc required for Miyamoto's games (you knew, even when you were six or seven or eight years old, that the stuff with spikes on top was not safe to jump on) is possible when you're strung out that far.

Nice story, but it probably wasn't me. For one thing, I'm too shy in person to talk to a stranger in line for a full hour. For another, I was wearing my media badge with "Nich Maragos, Gaming Intelligence Agency" clearly written on it. And I actually already owned a GBA, so I wasn't too broken up about not winning--in fact, I brought my system and link cables to the show and challenged the winner immediately afterward to a game of Bomberman Story. So if the guy you talked to didn't do that, that's another way you can tell he wasn't me.

I enjoy a spot of Mega Man here and there, and I'll actually probably be buying X6. The main series, along with the X series, is getting too old and stale for my tastes, but a Mega Man game with a random level generator strikes me as being too good to pass up. It's the only one I'll ever have to buy again!

Oh, and "undisputably?" Watch me.

Not just Uematsu (whom I personally think is a little strange, at this point, to feature in an "innovation" article) but Yoko Shimomura too, whom I believe to be the best composer currently working at Square. Her spectacular work on Legend of Mana and Parasite Eve is a major reason why I'm looking forward to Kingdom Hearts as much as I am. For those of you who don't subscribe to the magazine, you can check out the text here.

Closing Comments:

It's always a good thing when game developers of any sort are profiled by major media outlets. Who would you like to see written up in Time or Newsweek or Entertainment Weekly, and what would you prefer they focus on? Send your letters to Chris, who's taking back the column with a vengeance starting tomorrow.

-Nich Maragos, the professional