Double Agent
Bizarro world - May 22, 2001 - Nich Maragos

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. That jewel just begs to light up. Don't say we didn't warn you.

I didn't get too many letters about weird games, but maybe I was a little too restrictive. I was just trying to keep the obvious stuff out, like Incredible Crisis or Pokémon Snap. (Which is a pretty weird game, if you think about it.) Not that this stopped some of you, as you'll see below.

My own answer to the question would be Moon. The only movie I know of available on RPGamer, but it's worth a look for the utter Dadaist perspective it puts on RPGs. (The actual game, I'm told, is equally weird, involving a young boy's quest to destroy the "hero" before he inadvertently ruins the world.) Truly a shame it never made it to the US, but on the up side, that means it fits my own criteria.

Viva la revolucion!
Nich,

Maybe it's predictable, and unoriginal, and far too obvious, but I still want Vib Ribbon, dammit.

-The Neocount of Merentha, who can't think of anything to say here.

I think it's pretty safe to say at this point that it's not gonna happen. The Free Vibri paramilitary organization put forth a good effort, but it seems like it was all for nothing. What a world, what a world.

Crack, crack, crack
Really off kilter?  Probably the strangest good game I've ever played was Parappa the Rapper.  I think it was a landmark, being one of the first music-rythem games ever.  (Or did beatmania series come first?  I'm not sure.)  It was short, but few things beat a 2-d rapping dog following the act of a karate sensei who is an Onion, all coupled with its own hilarious story.  And the music was good damnit.  I haven't played Um Jammer Lammy yet though, so we'll see how that compares.

-Nick Herman

Good lord, man, you haven't played Um Jammer Lammy after experiencing the brilliance that is Parappa? Begone, and return not until you've enriched your cultural education a bit. You people, I swear ...

Never say Neverhood Again
I know it was released here in the U.S., but my favorite off-beat game would have to be The Neverhood, for PC. For those unaware, it was a really neat adventure game, with sets and characters made entirely out of clay. In fact, your character's name was Klaymen. It featured brain-busting puzzles and some great cutscenes (a giant robot and a giant...beasty thing kung-fu fighting. Plus, it wasn't like an anime at all.). The game had a great story too, which is a bit too complex to describe in an email...you really have to play it. It was done by Douglas TenNapel, who you may remember as the creator of Earthworm Jim. About the weirdness: one of the puzzles involved spitting varying amounts of water into some tubes so they would make the correct sounds, to match the pitch of tubes which locked a door...it makes more sense if you see it. I'm going to degenerate into sheer babbling soon (no cracks about how I already did), so that's enough of me.

Jon

All I remember about that game are the print ads, which didn't seem very compelling at the time. Come to think of it, I haven't heard anything from Neversoft since. Must not have done very well, I suppose.

Making the princess
Heyo,

Hmm..my favorite weird game.  Probably Princess Maker.  Its one of those life simulation games where you have this daughter which you raise and send off to work, and school.  Depending on how you this, she can wind up anywhere from as an artist, a writer, and even some weirder results such as crime boss or governor of a small country.  It has around 70 odd endings in total.  Weird yes, but its oddly satisfying.

Supposedly a Dreamcast version was going to come out, but prospects are looking a little dim.

My 2 cents.

Andrew Toth

The more I think about it, the dumber I was to stipulate Japan-only games. I'm not a big importer, and so the chances that I've played anything anyone is talking about is pretty slim. Heck, all I know about Princess Maker I learned from Solid Sharkey, and he was talking about the sequel anyway.

Hey, it's not like I'm getting paid to come up with good answers here. We can't all get free games for fill-in columns.

Too much information
Have you ever heard of the title 'Great Brother Chioneeke' (I'm not sure if that's how you spell it). [Choaniki. -Nich] I've never gained the courage, or better yet, the sickness of stupidity to download the rom for this sick major off-kilter title that features homosexuals shooting each other with their peepees. Thank God this title wasn't released in the U.S., it would destroy the country twenty times more than Custer's Revenge did, which featured a guy rapping an indian princess while dodging arrows.  

-Ryan Hall

This letter never happened. Moving on.

...
The best of the weird is definatly Boong Ga Boong Ga.  Its an arcade system with a  large screen and a lifesize representation of a women's legs/backside pointed out at you. On the screen is the bust (head and shoulders you perverts) of your own chosen victim character.  Then you take a controller (shaped like a hand with the index finger pointed out) and jab it into the large "ass" in front of you and the expression of the girl on a screen shows how much you "crammed that gram."  And you're given points!!!

-Figure Four

PS:  I have a picture but I can't get my freakin' scanner to work (sob)

Well, congratulations. You broke me. Now you've got to pay for me.

Worst. Show. Ever.
Nich,  

I just want to make one note here.. I honestly, truly believe that no single system "took the show" at this year's E3. The Microsoft booth was very congested throughout most of the show, but it wasn't as congested as Nintendo's. Why? Not because Nintendo was "just plain better," but because Nintendo put up WALLS around 80% of their booth. They also had the giant GBA giveaway which managed to create multi-hour lines of people hoping to get either a free GBA or some of those trés-chic foam squishy replica systems. Once you got away from the walls and the giveaway (ie; the open GBA section of the booth) the crowds thinned out a lot more. I will admit that XBox didn't shine the way its supporters had hoped (even hardcore Halo lovers were seriously disappointed by the quality of the demo), but while Nintendo's GC offerings were all centrally located, XB games were spread very, very wide all over the main halls.

Beyond quantity, every system had its share of quality titles. As nice as Luigi's little "ghostbusters" play mechanic was, and as interesting as Pikmin's little "Miyamoto must make fabulous use of recreational psychotropic agents" play mechanic was, Nintendo showed no Killer Apps at the show. GC's games are Really Great Apps, but the same goes for Unreal Championship (XB), Final Fantasy X (PS2), and Star Wars Galaxies Online (PC).  

I'd also like to say, in regard to something Chris Kohler said yesterday, that the line was just as long for me (personally) to play Halo as it was to play Luigi's Mansion. And I was only mildly entertained by both. Halo isn't what it was a year ago, and Luigi's Mansion is not the GC's equivalent of Mario 64 (by a very long shot). Hopefully Spaceworld will show off the purebred Killers (Mario, Zelda, Metroid, and Kart), but as far as the E3 goes, it was a strikingly drab year.  

-Jagger, bringer of sense

P.S. 2nd Place Funky Game of the Year Award goes to "OH Ghost Baby" by Taiwanese developer, Saint Hermit Studios.

Well, O "Bringer of sense," permit me to shoot some sense right back atcha. If it was such a drab show, where did all these great games you're talking about come from? I hear a lot of whining about how there was no obvious showstopper--go ahead and moan over there while I try to decide which of twelve or fifteen games I liked the best. Way to ignore Pikmin there, or if you really want an example of a pretty good Xbox game you could have brought up Air Force Delta Storm. I was frog-marched into playing that one by Konami's people and actually found myself enjoying it after a while. If you thought E3 2001 was disappointing, you just weren't looking close enough.

By the way, nice pick for a weird game. You see that at Kentia yourself or did Something Awful's tell you all about it?

Closing Comments:

So by now you've seen pretty much everything that E3 has to offer. A large thug accosts you in an alley and will prove to you that you can live through your eyeballs turning to jelly, unless you tell him the one--and only one--game you found most interesting at E3. What's your game of show?

-Nich Maragos, eagerly awaiting your answer

Recent Columns  
05.21.01
05.20.01
05.19.01
Double Agent Archives
What started your engines at E3? Tell Nich.
FAQ? Someday, maybe.