Bizarro world -
May 22, 2001 - Nich Maragos
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed
within this column are those of the participants and the
moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the
GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive
material afoot.
That jewel just begs to light up.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
I didn't get too many letters about weird games, but maybe I was a little too restrictive. I was just trying to keep the obvious stuff out, like Incredible Crisis or Pokémon Snap. (Which is a pretty weird game, if you think about it.) Not that this stopped some of you, as you'll see below.
My own answer to the question would be Moon. The only movie I know of available on RPGamer, but it's worth a look for the utter Dadaist perspective it puts on RPGs. (The actual game, I'm told, is equally weird, involving a young boy's quest to destroy the "hero" before he inadvertently ruins the world.) Truly a shame it never made it to the US, but on the up side, that means it fits my own criteria.
| Viva la revolucion! |
| Nich,
Maybe it's predictable, and unoriginal, and far too obvious, but I still
want Vib Ribbon, dammit.
-The Neocount of Merentha, who can't think of anything to say here.
|
I think it's pretty safe to say at this point that it's not gonna happen. The Free Vibri paramilitary organization put forth a good effort, but it seems like it was all for nothing. What a world, what a world.
| Crack, crack, crack |
| Really off kilter? Probably the strangest good game I've ever played was
Parappa the Rapper. I think it was a landmark, being one of the first
music-rythem games ever. (Or did beatmania series come first? I'm not
sure.) It was short, but few things beat a 2-d rapping dog following the
act of a karate sensei who is an Onion, all coupled with its own
hilarious story. And the music was good damnit. I haven't played Um
Jammer Lammy yet though, so we'll see how that compares.
-Nick Herman
|
Good lord, man, you haven't played Um Jammer Lammy after experiencing the brilliance that is Parappa? Begone, and return not until you've enriched your cultural education a bit. You people, I swear ...
| Never say Neverhood Again |
| I know it was released here in the U.S., but my favorite off-beat game
would
have to be The Neverhood, for PC. For those unaware, it was a really neat
adventure game, with sets and characters made entirely out of clay. In
fact,
your character's name was Klaymen. It featured brain-busting puzzles and
some
great cutscenes (a giant robot and a giant...beasty thing kung-fu
fighting.
Plus, it wasn't like an anime at all.). The game had a great story too,
which
is a bit too complex to describe in an email...you really have to play
it. It
was done by Douglas TenNapel, who you may remember as the creator of
Earthworm Jim. About the weirdness: one of the puzzles involved spitting
varying amounts of water into some tubes so they would make the correct
sounds, to match the pitch of tubes which locked a door...it makes more
sense if you see it. I'm going to degenerate into sheer babbling soon (no
cracks
about how I already did), so that's enough of me.
Jon
|
All I remember about that game are the print ads, which didn't seem very compelling at the time. Come to think of it, I haven't heard anything from Neversoft since. Must not have done very well, I suppose.
| Making the princess |
| Heyo,
Hmm..my favorite weird game. Probably Princess Maker. Its one of those
life simulation games where you have this daughter which you raise and
send off to work, and school. Depending on how you this, she can wind up
anywhere from as an artist, a writer, and even some weirder results such
as crime boss or governor of a small country. It has around 70 odd
endings in total. Weird yes, but its oddly satisfying.
Supposedly a Dreamcast version was going to come out, but prospects are
looking a little dim.
My 2 cents.
Andrew Toth
|
The more I think about it, the dumber I was to stipulate Japan-only games. I'm not a big importer, and so the chances that I've played anything anyone is talking about is pretty slim. Heck, all I know about Princess Maker I learned from Solid Sharkey, and he was talking about the sequel anyway.
Hey, it's not like I'm getting paid to come up with good answers here. We can't all get free games for fill-in columns.
| Too much information |
| Have you ever heard of the title 'Great Brother Chioneeke' (I'm not sure
if that's how you spell it). [Choaniki. -Nich] I've never gained the courage, or better
yet, the sickness of stupidity to download the rom for this sick major
off-kilter title that features homosexuals shooting each other with their
peepees. Thank God this title wasn't released in the U.S., it would
destroy the country twenty times more than Custer's Revenge did, which
featured a guy rapping an indian princess while dodging arrows.
-Ryan Hall
|
This letter never happened. Moving on.
| ... |
| The best of the weird is definatly Boong Ga Boong Ga. Its an arcade
system
with a large screen and a lifesize representation of a women's
legs/backside
pointed out at you. On the screen is the bust (head and shoulders you
perverts) of your own chosen victim character. Then you take a
controller
(shaped like a hand with the index finger pointed out) and jab it into
the
large "ass" in front of you and the expression of the girl on a screen
shows
how much you "crammed that gram." And you're given points!!!
-Figure Four
PS: I have a picture but I can't get my freakin' scanner to work (sob)
|
Well, congratulations. You broke me. Now you've got to pay for me.
| Worst. Show. Ever. |
| Nich,
I just want to make one note here.. I honestly, truly believe that no
single system "took the show" at this year's E3. The Microsoft booth was
very congested throughout most of the show, but it wasn't as congested as
Nintendo's. Why? Not because Nintendo was "just plain better," but
because Nintendo put up WALLS around 80% of their booth. They also had
the giant GBA giveaway which managed to create multi-hour lines of people
hoping to get either a free GBA or some of those trés-chic foam squishy
replica systems. Once you got away from the walls and the giveaway (ie;
the open GBA section of the booth) the crowds thinned out a lot more. I
will admit that XBox didn't shine the way its supporters had hoped (even
hardcore Halo lovers were seriously disappointed by the quality of the
demo), but while Nintendo's GC offerings were all centrally located, XB
games were spread very, very wide all over the main halls.
Beyond quantity, every system had its share of quality titles. As nice as
Luigi's little "ghostbusters" play mechanic was, and as interesting as
Pikmin's little "Miyamoto must make fabulous use of recreational
psychotropic agents" play mechanic was, Nintendo showed no Killer Apps at
the show. GC's games are Really Great Apps, but the same goes for Unreal
Championship (XB), Final Fantasy X (PS2), and Star Wars Galaxies Online
(PC).
I'd also like to say, in regard to something Chris Kohler said yesterday,
that the line was just as long for me (personally) to play Halo as it was
to play Luigi's Mansion. And I was only mildly entertained by both. Halo
isn't what it was a year ago, and Luigi's Mansion is not the GC's
equivalent of Mario 64 (by a very long shot). Hopefully Spaceworld will
show off the purebred Killers (Mario, Zelda, Metroid, and Kart), but as
far as the E3 goes, it was a strikingly drab year.
-Jagger, bringer of sense
P.S. 2nd Place Funky Game of the Year Award goes to "OH Ghost Baby" by
Taiwanese developer, Saint Hermit Studios.
|
Well, O "Bringer of sense," permit me to shoot some sense right back atcha. If it was such a drab show, where did all these great games you're talking about come from? I hear a lot of whining about how there was no obvious showstopper--go ahead and moan over there while I try to decide which of twelve or fifteen games I liked the best. Way to ignore Pikmin there, or if you really want an example of a pretty good Xbox game you could have brought up Air Force Delta Storm. I was frog-marched into playing that one by Konami's people and actually found myself enjoying it after a while. If you thought E3 2001 was disappointing, you just weren't looking close enough.
By the way, nice pick for a weird game. You see that at Kentia yourself or did Something Awful's tell you all about it?
Closing Comments:
So by now you've seen pretty much everything that E3 has to offer. A large thug accosts you in an alley and will prove to you that you can live through your eyeballs turning to jelly, unless you tell him the one--and only one--game you found most interesting at E3. What's your game of show?
-Nich Maragos, eagerly awaiting your answer
|
