Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. As these words were spoken, I swear I hear the old man laughing: "What good is a used-up world and how could it be worth having?" Don't say we didn't warn you.

Someone once remarked that being a bouncer consisted of 80% waiting around, 19% getting puked on by drunk people, and 1% sheer terror, as said drunk people pulled out a knife or a gun. Still, there's a certain romance to the job - it's kinda like being a cop, but cooler, and you get to hang out in bars. And nobody messes with you because, hey, you're the bouncer.

With that in mind, what I hoped I'd get out of Square's latest game was a grim, gritty title about violent scuffles for survival in back alleys. Grace, poetry, and brass knuckles, you know? Street punks on a rampage, kinda like Double Dragon meets The Warriors.

Instead, what I actually got was a 3D version of Final Fight in Day-Glo colors.

Ok, it's not that bad, and I admit I've only played about half an hour thus far. In fact, it could be a lot of fun, in a goofy sort of way. The lighting's foggy, the music lacks bass, the characters speak in cliches, and the fighting doesn't have the bone-breaking quality it should, but it is very shiny and diverting. The Japanese voice acting's not half-bad either... and it would rock exceedingly much if Square kept the "pick your dub and your subtitles" for the US version of FFX.

Onward.

Good point, but I don't think it's so much of an either/or situation. Games probably wouldn't have taken off like they did if the PSX had replaced the NES - people at the time wouldn't have been able to jump from Pac Man to Silent Hill. As you point out, the NES raised a whole generation of kids who were ready and willing to embrace the PSX when it came out. But by the same token, it was necessary for the PSX to come out when it did, because people were ready for Silent Hill in the mid-90's. I don't know how many people would have kept up with gaming if it had frozen at the SNES level of technology - there's only so much you can do with 32x32 pixel SD sprites.

The best system at the right time... yep, that pretty well sums it up.

Somebody brought up a similar point a few weeks back, and I'll make the same argument I did back then - the gaming market will almost certainly always be controlled by the youth demographic, just because they have the time and the money to properly overdose on games. Between that and the technological improvements games will see by the time we retire, I don't think anything even close to FF 1 through 9 will be in production... although there might be a niche market for old-style retro RPGs created for those geezers. But I do think there's a trend towards shorter, tighter games, as of late, and as much as anything that could be because gaming's audience has grown up, as you say.

Heh heh... Generally, as a letters columnist, I don't feel like I can be this much in your face, but you're dead on here. After FFVII I knew I had to get Square's next PSX title, and I was there at Software Etc. the day it was released. And damn if it wasn't even better than FF7. But I have no idea where these latecomers crawled out from - how do they know the game's so great if they didn't snag a copy back then? Why weren't they waiting at the store, cash in hand, on 1.28.98? Why do they keep sending in letters on how great the game is, when they still don't have it themselves? What's wrong with this picture?

Still, let's hope they've learned something from this experience - get the good stuff while you can, rather than having to scour the ends of the earth for it later.

Er, seriously, what makes you think there's not an RPG based on Watership Down already? Not literally, of course (although I think I'd prefer Hazel to Zidane as a protagonist) but in spirit: Watership Down was chock full of archetypal heroes and villains, and at some level nearly every RPG ever made echoes those characters. You've got the inexperienced leader, the headstrong but honorable tough guy, the quasi-mystic seer, the token love female interest... any of this sound familiar?

Of course, you can always argue that no RPG has yet done the characters quite as well as Watership Down did, but give games a bit more time, neh?

What the heck - if I'm gonna mouth off about Heinlein I guess I should make a slightly better defense of myself. You gotta remember that Heinlein had every reason to be pro-military and virtually none to be anti-military - he grew up in a time and a culture where military virtues were far more present, and he graduated as a commissioned officer from Annapolis, but he never had to fight in a war himself. That makes a huge difference in the validity of his opinion I think, because Heinlein saw the military virtues as being good in and of themselves, whereas a lot of other, more experienced soldiers seem to regard them more as supports to hang on to when the entire world's gone insane and 90% of your best friends have gotten their brains blown out.

A lot of people seem to like Heinlein because he leaves very little room for gray areas, but you could just as easily argue the lack of gray is exactly what holds him back from being able to say anything useful. You can certainly make worthwhile arguments for the military and for patriotism, but when all the characters in your books are either square-jawed manly men who look death square in the eye or sniveling anti-military cowards who just don't get it, it's hard to see those books as anything but cheap propaganda. And cheap propaganda doesn't go nearly as far these days as it did in the 50's.

And just for the record, I've read plenty of Heinlein's other work, and never read ST 5 times - I was referring to that email, not the book.

End of rant.

Hmm... I do remember those bar code scanners, now that you mention it. Weird little game, and arguably the precursor for Pokemon. Interesting, and good call.

Wow, haven't gotten one of these in ages.... brings a farm fuzzy feeling to my chest, really it does. True, I'm pretty sure the author in question sent it in as a joke, but still, it's very evocative of the good old days. Ah, the memories...

Closing Comments:

Reader suggested topic for tomorrow, and it's a good 'un, so send in tons o' email. Me, I'm gonna go stare at the brightly colored PS2 game I just bought. Later.

-Chris Jones, just likes hitting people