Revised List of Frequently Asked Questions And Answers For the GIA's Double Agent Column

Disclaimer:

This is my second stab at a Double Agent FAQ - it's been slightly updated, but mostly the content is the same. Hopefully you'll find this version shorter, cleaner, and better able to answer your questions and provide useful information. The first version was fine, I thought, but it answered a bunch of questions that it didn't need to, missed some it should have, and most importantly, tried to give reasons and explanations for every little policy decision. I'm not trying to be totalitarian here: if you disagree with something, email me about it and we can debate it publicly or off line. But hopefully having things a bit shorter will encourage more people to actually read the FAQ, which makes my job somewhat easier.

Before we get into this FAQ, a couple more things should be pointed out. First off, this FAQ is being written by me, Chris Jones, exclusively for the columns that I put up. These rules do not apply to Andrew Kaufmann's weekend columns, or to the occasional substitute staffers that may fill in for either of us. It's just a guide as to how I put the column together, and what I look for in letters. None of the guidelines I list below are going to be 100% enforced. In general I prefer well-written, thoughtful letters written in an intelligent tone of voice about substantive gaming issues, but if a letter is poorly written by a moron about nothing at all, I may still post it if it's really funny, or just on a whim. That's not to say you should completely disregard this FAQ - I'd say I follow my own rules about 90% of the time, if not more. So take your chances if you like and write what you want, but don't get bent out of shape if it doesn't make it to the column..

Onward.

The FAQ

Q: Who are you?

A: My name is Chris Jones, and I write the weekday (M-F) letters columns for the Gaming Intelligence Agency, also known as the Double Agent column. I'm 24 years old, live in Champaign, Illinois, and I'm a grad student in computer engineering at the U of I.

Q: If you do the weekday columns, who does the weekend columns?

A: That would be Andrew Kaufmann. AK is probably the longest running RPG Q&A guy on the Net, starting way back in 1998 on the UnOfficial SquareSoft Page with the seminal Q&AK column, and continuing to the present day as the GIA's weekend guy.

Q: So does it really matter who I send a letter to?

A: Absolutely. Each of us has his own, separate letters account: I'm agent@thegia.com, and AK's qak@thegia.com. Because of this, I don't get letters addressed to me sent to AK's account, and vice versa. We try to make sure the email links on the side of the page point to the right person for the next day, but regardless, if you send the agent account a letter on the weekend, I won't put it up until Monday. The same goes for AK and weekdays.

Q: But you do get the letters, right? I can email you just to talk about something on weekends at the agent address? And what about other email addresses?

Yes, I get letters at that account 24/7, and I generally check my email several times a day. You can also contact me personally by emailing cjones@thegia.com, which is my personal account, completely separate from the agent account. However, I am under standing orders not to print anything in the column that isn't sent to agent@thegia.com. That goes for my private email addresses as well.

Q: Do you personally reply often to letters?

A: Generally not, so don't get upset if your letter isn't printed and you never hear from me about it.

Q: When does the column usually go up?

A: I try to put the column up the evening of the day in question, usually between 8 and 12 PM, Central time. It takes me about three hours to write the column, so in general if your letter comes in after 6PM Central, it won't go up until the next day.

Q: What do I have to do to get my letters printed?

A: See the Submission Guidelines below.

Submission Guidelines

Length: As a rule, I don't like to print letters over 500 words. I have been known to make exceptions for really interesting letters (which, unfortunately, seem to run long most of the time) but I'd rather not, since every long letter I print gives somebody an excuse to send another one. I personally don't mind reading through many really long letters, but I find it kills the momentum of the column for many people.

Language (warning, foul language used as examples): While I have no moral compunctions against cursing, and the disclaimer at the beginning of every column gives me a certain amount of leeway, I'm still not a big fan of crude language and probably won't post it. Again, I'm somewhat flexible on this: I'll say damn myself plenty of times, and every once in a while I'll let a fuck or shit slip through when it seems appropriate. (What's appropriate? Well: "Square's not shipping Final Fantasy XII to the US, ever? Those fuckers!" If it's somewhat cleverly done, I'm also ok with it: "Frankly, I find his comments reek of conceit, up there with Kenji Eno's self-fellatory comments about D2.") But by and large, try not to curse or make lewd comments in your submissions.

Questions: If you've got a question on game trivia or are having problems playing a game, send it in. The only two caveats I have are as follows: If it's a recently released game, check the previous few weeks columns for the answer before sending your question in. Also, make reasonable attempts to research the question yourself before you ask me. www.gamefaqs.com alone can probably answer 90% of the questions you want answered.

On topic vs. off: Your chances of getting printed are much better if you stay on topic, but it's not impossible to get an off topic letter printed. However, an off topic letter generally has to hit me just right to get posted. Replies to letters in previous columns have a better chance of getting printed than totally original letters, but still not as good as an on topic letter.

Signed names: I appreciate it when people sign their names - if a letter's important enough to write up, it's important enough to sign. I do not automatically append your name onto letters you send me. What you send in is what (may) go up. And since I don't print email addresses, don't allow personal insults in reply submissions, and never take a discussion into email myself unless invited (and very rarely then) there's really no reason not to sign your name. Even a pseudonym is better than nothing.

Sigs: I don't print email addresses, even on request. As a rule, I won't make a link to your website in your letter. I also generally don't care for sig quotes in submissions, since they're rarely germane to the point at hand. (However, they usually don't hurt your chances of getting posted, since I just stop copying the letter before I get to that point.) That said, I don't have a problem with you including your organization or your website after your name. I think a lot gets said by what a person has on their personal site, good and bad, so think about it before you submit your site address. And if your web address doesn't get printed, chances are it's either because I stopped copying your letter prior to that because of an email address or sig quote earlier on, or because I visited your site myself (which I often do) and found it to be inappropriate to link to. (This is one of the few cases where I'll censor a letter, rather than just not printing it.)

Praise and other feedback: I greatly appreciate praise, and I gladly accept any criticism you send my way. However, I'd appreciate it if both were sent separately from any game related letter you send. It makes it easier to handle both if it's not tied in to a detailed topic discussion.

Chances of getting your letter posted: Don't feel bad if you don't get your letter posted, and don't take it personally. On any given day, regardless of the actual letters count I seem to come up with many times the number of printable letters I need to write a good column - frankly, there are a lot of people who write to this column with excellent word skills, and they're all in competition with you and with each other. Often it's just random chance that I pick one letter and not another. On the other hand, some people tend to get more posted than others, which is only fair, since some people are better writers than others. But if it makes you feel any better, consider that a person who gets a letter printed every two or three days is probably sending just as many letters I don't print. Remember, you only see what goes up, not what doesn't. Also, don't whine or beg or plead with me to print your letter - it makes both of us look pretty stupid on the off chance the letter does go up.

Questions I keep getting that I refuse to answer anymore:

Q: Will the Chrono Trigger or Final Fantasy IV remakes for the PSX ever be released in the US?

A: Almost certainly not - despite excellent US sales for Chrono Cross, Square's just got too much else to do to put these games out. And they're flat-out remakes, so you're not missing anything you'd get out of the original carts, aside from the Chrono Trigger movies, and FFIV ending movie, all of which we have on the site anyway. So stop asking, and stop complaining.

Q: Your reviewer's opinion of Game X sucked!

A: Bite me. Of course, depending on the level of politeness involved in the original question, I'd tend to be equally polite. My personal take on reviews is this: that they should the basic facts about the game, as clearly and insightfully as the reviewer can provide them, and the reviewer's personal take on the work. The first is more or less objective, and if you want to send me a letter civilly detailing what we missed, that's great. The second is opinion, and again, if you want to send me a letter arguing otherwise, that's also ok. But merely disagreeing with a review because it disagrees with your opinion, not providing any reasons why you disagree and personally attacking the reviewer in the process is just stupid.

I'm sure I'll put up more questions in here, I just can't think of anything else at the moment.

Closing comments

Hopefully this is an improvement over the original, but if you have any questions, comments, or want me to add additional content, please drop me a line. Otherwise, thanks for reading.

-Chris Jones, 10/9/2000