Double Agent
Fin - April 1, 2002 - Erin Mehlos

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Don't say we didn't warn you.

I spent a long enough block of contiguous time at a CopyMax today that I started to wonder if the sales associate was getting anxious as to whether or not our relationship was "going anywhere," and consequently, started to wonder if I shouldn't just wander into the adjacent mall and pick out a ring for him. I mean, after investing so much time in each other I couldn't imagine just parting ways like nothing had happened -- nevermind the fact that he'd never take me seriously. After all the service calls to the Xerox people we'd been through, he'd laugh off any attempt on my part to sever our ties so abrubtly as a joke; a cruel, tasteless, April Fool's Day joke.

It's not, after all, a neccessarily tactful time for heart-wrenching revelation.

A mewling in the dark

It's a joke right? Yeah, a funny April Fools trick. Yep, ho ho ho. You sure got me. Hee hee. GOD, SAY IT'S A JOKE! FOR THE LOVE OF GAMING, SAY IT'S A JOKE! Yeah, that would be good if it was a joke. Because it is, right?

Brandon, who is disturbed and frightened.

I'll tell you what I told Nathan, devoted supervisor of Madison's Eastside CopyMax:

I'm afraid, my son, that all good things must come to an end.

But what an end....

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