Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. What else could I say? Don't say we didn't warn you.

I'm torn: do I actually rationalize this excuse column with an excuse, or spare you the mundanities of my life? On one hand all of this boils down to an attempt to pad for space, lest the "column" look too barren, and you're probably wondering what the deal is. On the other hand, I may inadvertantly give away a few too many details, allowing people to track me down to pour sugar in my gas tank and systematically off every last one of my family members for that time I said Xenogears sucks.

What's more, it's fun to believe these few paragraphs are such an inspiring romp that letters would only detract. It's a load of crap, of course, but we all need our mental constructs to preserve our fragile egos. Or maybe that's just me, but let me generalize for the sake of my fragile ego. Yeah, I think I'll spare you the mundanities of my life.

That said, I'm sure, come shortly, there will be absolutely no need for me to specify a topic. There's a doozy of a news story on its way, to put it mildly, so, just let Erin know what you think of the Big News, okie dokie?

-Drew Cosner, over and out.