Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Vengeance will be mine, Shell Oil corporation! Don't say we didn't warn you.

It'd be a blatant abuse of this column to pursue some kind of vendetta against someone who'd wronged me, right? Right. I just don't give a damn.

Saturday night I filled up my truck at a Shell station in suburban Chicago, and their pumps must not have been maintained very well, because I pumped about 99% rainwater and 1% gas into my tank. Not that I was able to find this out until recently however - nope, the last few days have been all about trying to get my stalled car to a repair place, imposing on people to let me sleep in their spare rooms, blowing over $100 of my own money on rental cars, and finding out that I've got to shell out about $500 on the repair job before Shell will maybe, eventually, reimburse me. So in the words of the immortal Bender: "Bite my shiny metal ass, Shell Oil corporation."

Onward.

I have no doubt that a good 3D Metroid could be made - heck, one my long time gaming fantasies has been an image of Samus at the bottom of one of those long air shafts, looking up at a chain of floating platforms that stretch away for about a mile, all lovingly rendered in 3D. But that kind of game's entirely different from an FPS, which tend to be less about wide open spaces and more about cramped, enemy-laden corridors.

On the other hand, you're dead on when you point out that the Metroids (and SotN, a spiritual cousin) weren't that popular in Japan. Nintendo may be developing a Metroid game because Samus is still a recognizable character here in the US, but at the same time they may think that ditching the old platforming/exploration gameplay for something else could go over well in the Japanese market. And the scary part is, they might be right.

These days, I can't think of spins and rolls in a 3D environment without thinking of Sonic Adventure, which was a worthy title but didn't really have the feel I got from Samus's Screw Attack. Pulling it off in an FPS would be even more difficult, although FPS platforming in a light gravity environment, with long, slow jumps might be interesting.

And I think what's really important here is not to maintain any particular element from the 2D Metroids, but the overall feel of the game. Graphically, Samus was lean, angular and agile, whereas nearly all other action heroes then and now are more cherubic and cuddly. My first memory ever of Metroid is of seeing it in a TV commerical in 1987 - a one second clip of Samus executing a Screw Attack onto a higher platform and squishing an enemy in the process. Even back then Metroid seemed darker, edgier and more sophisticated, a reputation the game lived up to. And more than anything else, that's what I want from the sequel.

Ah, the loving caress of the APD, how I miss it so...

And I salute your enthusiasm, even if I don't quite share it. At this point, I guess all we can hope for is that the design team contains at least one person who played the original way back when, and is determined to see the GC version live up to the name.

What can I say, not a lot of mail today. And coming up with a suitable response: gosh, don't you know that all you have to do is get a glass bottle and find a cow to get some more milk?

I see a connection, but what that connection means I'll leave up to you guys.

Two things. First, real remakes have been done - track down some info on the DQ "remixes" for the Super Famicom, which many feel are superior to the original games. That said, it still smacks of dwelling in the past rather than embracing the future, and I'll give the stock columnist reply: I'd rather see the effort spent on making new games.

Second, if you want to see a rendered Terra, take a look at this, the old SGI FF demo. No Esper Terra, and no Pearl spell, but it is interesting how the graphical focus of the game has changed, Even now, when Square easily has the hardware power to render such a thing as a real game, they're going with more realistic, human models. And I'm probably in the minority here, but I appreciate that - I honestly like Rinoa and Quistis's character models, crudely rendered as they were, better than Terra's 2D or 3D look. SD has its limits.

Closing Comments:

Thinking of Nintendo back in the day, Square on the PSX, and what Konami seems to be doing on the PS2, I came up with this gem of a topic: write a letter arguing that a specific developer was the best and/or most influential during a certain time period. For instance, I'd personally argue that Nintendo's first party games ruled the NES, that at least in Japan, Enix completely dominated the SNES, and that Square's been the model for companies in the PSX era. But you might think differently (or at least be able to provide evidence to build up or trash my claims) so think it over and drop me a line. Later.

-Chris Jones, wondering who'll stop the rain