Double Agent
My opinion is better than your opinion - December 18th, 2000 - Drew Cosner

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I wish people would stop hiding carcasses under my bed. Don't say we didn't warn you.


Hosting a letters column is actually something of an exact science. After all, you need letters for the whole thing to fly. And there are certain things you can do to ensure a steady influx of letters. For example, you could specify a particularly unique and/or stimulating topic in the closing comments. You could aggressively deny beliefs held dear by the mass populace, such as the existence of God. Or you could just make a critical examination of a Final Fantasy game, and not declare it a perfect masterpiece lacking any flaw whatsoever.

In other words, I've been getting tons of mail the past few days. It was difficult deciding which letters to post and which to not. I mean trust me, usually it's easy picking the good letters out from the rest of the crap you retards send in, but not today. So if you felt you sent me a really good letter and it didn't get posted, you're probably right; but I have to end the column somewhere. Either that or your letter sucked, dork.

No, I didn't get fired. Sorry.

...Don't tell me you really did get fired for that letter? I much rather believe you blew the column off for hot GIA fangirl sex.

~Ian P.


No, actually I got held up, and I owe you guys an apology. Sorry. And don't worry -- let's just say that with my good looks and charming personality, I have about as much a need for condoms as I do for a zero-dollar bill.

Random battles are the coolest (FFIX spoilers)

You know what, I was disappointed by the Final battle in FF9, my Strongest person was at level 65 and I went in to fight the last boss. And I admit the first time it took me a while to beat Necron but then when I got the Ultima Weapon I beat that silly little manifestation of death with only one major setback. I remember Ultimecia actually being a challenge and Squall was at level 99. The system in 8 was good, the monsters leveled up with you, they should have kept it, and no matter what the last boss should be a lot stronger than your people. If you go to fight the last boss at level 65 you should get your ass kicked, instead, I went in and beat him the first time through. Yeah there were times when everyone but 1 person was dead in my party, but I still beat it my first try, like I said I should have gotten my ass kicked.

"A Person who has probably used the word ass more times than his quota allows" Kramer

P.S. I think Kefka was the best villain of any Final Fantasy but if not he was at least the coolest.


Yeah, I meant to point that out yesterday, too. Thanks to the combination of Enc-None and enemies that levelled up with you, you could fight if and when you wanted to. I loved that. But boy oh boy, how awesome that they brought back random encounters that you are compelled to fight if you don't want to get your ass handed to you for FFIX. Golly-jee-darn.

I see you've forgotten

In response to Xenodude's claim that basically states that "good graphics will amount to a bad storyline," I present the following quotes:

"The screen shots on this page can't begin to give you an idea of how drop-dead gorgeous the graphics are..."

"You'll be hard pressed to find a game that looks or sounds better."

"This game is too big, too beautiful..."

"...the best looking RPG ever!"

All of those quotes are from the October 1994 issue of Game Players magazine, in regards to Final Fantasy 6.

Square has always been on the top of things with graphics. So really, what's the big deal if the new trend in RPGs is polygons, CG and prerendered backgrounds? Square has always been using the latest technology to present their games in the best fashion possible.

-Mad Muffin


My friend, not only have you made an excellent point that I overlooked, you also did the research required to back it up properly. I am highly impressed, to put it the way a pompous, crowny fag would put it. I think it's time I dusted off our old friend the Sexalicious Award. Good job, Mad, if I may call you that. You deserve it.

Take the damn thing. It peed on my  toothbrush.

Remember, the Sexalicious Award exists beyond logic and cannot be fully understood by the human mind. It is only for humans to understand its sacrifice for us that we may enjoy eternal peace in an afterlife strikingly similar to what would be a Utopia by Western ideals. Though the road cramped and narrow, all showing faith in the Sexalicious Award shall be saved.

This is not "strategy," people

As was mentioned yesterday, there are a lot of (hair-brained) complaints about RPGs today being "watered down for the masses". Part of the arguement they use is that older RPGs are "more difficult". When asked to explain what made those older RPGs more difficult, they tend to bring up that you needed to do more level-building in them. What many fail to understand is that this is not difficulty. I like to call it "fake difficulty". It's not hard to kill lots of random enemies & level-build. It's just tedious. Thus, having to do large-scale level building to survive in a game isn't a sign of difficulty. Just poor game design. That's why we don't see much of this fake difficulty anymore. Developers have gotten better at making RPGs, so they don't rely on this tired old trick anymore. Well, except for Enix, if the reports about DQ7's level-building requirements are accurate, but that's a subject to discuss when the game is released in English & the typical GIA reader can actually play it. In other words, around the launch date of the Playstation 3. :P But back to the subject at hand, NES & SNES RPGs for the most part weren't any more difficult than PSX RPGs. Yes, you had to do more level-building, but I just got through explaining that level-building is not difficulty. I can't recall many instances in those older RPGs where I had to use real strategy to win a battle. That's where true difficulty lies. Basically, I think we're halfway through a transition in RPG difficulty. Developers no longer rely on the fake difficulty of level-building, but we still haven't reached a widespread implementation of the true difficulty of strategic battles.

Red XIV

P.S. I know that this isn't really FF9-related, but you should print it anyway. Yes, that is indeed my oversized ego speaking. ph33r it.


I couldn't possibly agree more. At least not without the timespace where my perpetual dissention once rested leaving a vaccum that disrupts the flow of time, changing the past into the future and the future into the past so we grow young and experience things like the Revolutionary War all over again. I'd better move on before things get out of hand.

Not a bad bad guy? (FFIX spoilers)

You guys expect too much from a bad guy, I think. RPGs have action /adventure type storylines, almost necessarily so. Look at how few action / adventure movies have well-made bad guys (or characters at all). Why does a bad guy have to be 'realistic', or 'well-deveoped'? It was enough for me to just say "oooohh, dat wascewy wabbit!" whenever they tried to make Kuja look mean. Actually, I said that a number of times during FF9. Anyway, Kuja and Necron both had one big ace up their respective sleeves: some great battle music. I hadn't grooved that hard since Asellus' quest in SaGa Frontier. Sure, they might have been irritating caricatures, but that was just a fun fight. Hmmm. That last sentence pretty much sums up my opinion of FF9 (and 8, for that matter).

-Graham Johnson


I'll agree that a bad guy doesn't have to be particularly developed to be successful. But damn it, he does have to be intimidating. Sure, Kefka was about as well-developed as an extra on Baywatch, but at least he was so amazingly sadistic and maniacal that you couldn't help but to hate him.

Then we have Kuja. Kuja who tells your party that he loves them. Kuja who more or less repents as he's about to die. Lame. I'm sorry, I just didn't like Kuja as a villain.

Let's examine the facts, man

Drew,

If Laguna was Squall's Father, I am the tree of life. (Laguna LOIRE and Squall LEONHEART were related ... right. And do NOT bring up the mumbo-jumbo about how kids in orphanages change their last names.)

Let's get one thing cleared up about FFVIII -- as much as I dislike the game it is without a doubt one of the best games on the PSX. As far as all this FFIX bashing goes I see your twisted ploy Cosner, I'm not blind. I see what's between the lines. Readership of the GIA's column has been going down has it not? Your goal of gaining back old readers and bringing in some new ones is being accomplished from your unpopular stance on a heated topic.

I see through you Cosner, AND I live in CA[Er, what? -Drew]

-mista tea


Dude. Why do you want me to make you look stupid? Would I say that Laguna was Squall's father if there wasn't conclusive evidence to back that statement up? Okay, so maybe I would, but I'm not lying on this one. Let's review the facts.

  1. Laguna has Squall's Triple Triad card.
  2. The Moombas identify people by their blood. In the Desert Prison, a Moomba licks Squall's blood and says "Laguna! Laguna!"
  3. Squall is the same age as Laguna's child with Raine would be.
  4. Raine dies after Laguna had already left on his travels, leaving Squall to become an orphan.
  5. On board the Ragnarok, when you talk to Ward, he jokingly says (via Kiros) "it's a good thing [Squall] inherited his mother's looks and not his father's."
  6. On the Ragnarok, Laguna tells Squall he has something to confess "when this is all over."
I'd say that's pretty overt. And while it's never directly mentioned, I would imagine Squall chose his last name as a nod to the Griever icon he holds so dear, although different last names hardly prove anything.

And finally, I've said multiple times that I don't hate FFIX, and I'm certainly not "bashing" it. I occasionally print letters pointing out valid criticisms or do it myself, and I admit that I don't prefer it as much as FFVII and FFVIII, but it is definitely a cut above the standard RPG fare. Are we all clear on this now?

Blah blah blah

Dear Drew,

"Blah, blah, blah..."

I think it's just me on this one, but if people can't simply explain their arguments in 2 paragraphs or less, maybe they don't really know what their talking about. Just a thought.

-Mikey B.

P.S.- For anyone who disagrees with me, I you can now start writing your 15 page thesis on why I'm an idiot.


I would say that if 2 paragraphs were all that were necessary to make any point, there wouldn't be a need for things like dissertations or scientific journals. But your comment about "writing a 15 page thesis on why [you're] an idiot" made me laugh, and I figured I ought to throw it in since all of this debate makes for a column that's about as funny as a passing out drunk in a forest and waking up without a left ear.

Such a mature crowd, we are

Aaaaawwwwwww... is da widdle baby upset dat people who wike FFIX are getting on his case about it? Awww... da poor widdle baby.

-Druff


Another excellent example of the fine discourse to be found in the average episode of the Double Agent. And to you, sir, I say "am not." May you chew upon that for a spell.

Just can't escape those subconscious biases, I fear

It's true that nostalgia can be powerful, but I think its effects are often overstated. I've been playing FF IV for the last week or so, and rather than being disappointed by its age, I've been enjoying it far more than I even expected. While I'm probably not having quite as much fun as I did with FF IX, it's definitely more fun than I had with Vagrant Story, FF VIII, or even Chrono Cross. I think it's important to remember that the reason the classics are considered great is that they actually ARE great, not just that we were too dumb to know better when we played them. One of the biggest differences now (aside from the graphics) is that the games really are easier in general, since you don't have to level. And that's a big improvement, in my opinion. (That obviously doesn't apply to FF VIII, where leveling is just replaced with drawing.)

-David (Kaxon)


I must concede this point. I still have fun when I go back and play Mario 3, Zelda 3, or Chrono Trigger. Although I may point this out: it's possible that I still find these games fun because I remember how much I enjoyed them initially, and that invokes a positive reaction when playing even to this day.

But yeah, as long as you consider the role a game played in its day, they can still be enjoyable. That's what makes a classic. In fact, this letter got me thinking. (Prepare for a semi-related tangent.)

While I did play FFI, thanks to the glowing praise it got in Nintendo Power, it wasn't until games like FFVI and EarthBound that I became a big RPG fan. In other words, I played some of the more technological/modern RPGs first, causing me to have none of the "knights and dragons" preconceptions so often associated with RPGs. That might explain why I'm one of the weirdos who considers FFVII the best of the series and tires of the likes of FFIX quickly.

Keeping it serious

People bitch too much.

*-LS-*


They smell weird, too.

I don't recall Nirvana fans ever clamoring for a "traditional" album, though

"All of these supposed 'old-school' RPG fans remind me of people who really like a band, but when it becomes popular, they declare that "the new CD sucks" because they want to feel superior to all of the new fans."

No, we're like the people who keep listening to Nirvana CDs and awaiting the next album.

-Neil


That's a workable comparison, too.

Pick up the pace (FFIX and CC spoilers)

Dreg,

The problem (for me) that Square has had with recent games such as Chrono Cross and Final Fantasy IX is the "crux" point that you usually hit somewhere between 30 to 40 hours. This would be the Sea of Eden in CC and Terra in FFIX. The presentation just breaks down entirely at these points and you are spoon-fed dialogue box after box of what is really going on and the story tends to become a jumbled mess. Chrono Cross did this especially bad when you reach Cronopolis and the game becomes incomprehensible, then they add the three kids on the beach at the end to spoon-feed you some more about Schala completely ruining the game for me. Garland serves this purpose in IX as he lectures to you about Terra and Gaia and all that crap.

The problem is pacing. It seems Square (and other companies) have become more concerned with hiding as much of the story from you as possible to keep you motivated but they can't pull it off. When it finally becomes time to let the player in on whats going on, they drop the ball and complicate the stories unnecessarily. Chrono Cross spent literally two hours pumping confusing dialogue boxes into you. I don't want simpler stories, I want better pacing. Don't try and make every game a mystery for 40 hours and then reveal that the real story either sucks or is just confusing as hell. Make something more compact but better.

-lewsteran riskhater


Yeah, I would agree that Square needs to even out the pace a bit more. I enjoyed CC quite a lot, but when you got to that point on the beach, you're supposed to say "...well, I'll be damned. That makes sense!" Instead you end up saying, "Whoah, what? Let's see that explanation again."

If you're going to tackle subjects like fate, multiple dimensions, and alternate realities, you really have to watch the pacing. Fortunately, Square slipped up but didn't crash to the floor with CC. Hopefully they'll get it right with this next generation of RPGs.

You're (NOT) the greatest! (FFIX spoilers)

Drew,

you are so full of shit [Wise man say, "kiss my ass" -Drew], FFVIII certainly was NOT the greatest. Let me state it more simply: FFVIII sucked? I actually thought FFVIII was a good game until the final nail in the coffin, the orphanage revalation! The game had no plotline after disc 1, and all of the characters had the same background, and not much else was said. For the record, realism has no place in RPGs. Quite honestly, I don't give a damn about the struggles of the average man. What's next, a game about a house wife who becomes upset when her husband yells at her for having not had dinner ready with the climax being where they kiss and make up??? Quite honestly, realsim works well in a five page short story, but for a fifty hours + RPG, well, just look at FFVIII. In FFVIII, Squall's change was unbelievable. So Rinoa gets injured, and without her, Squall miraculously changes??!!! Look at Vandal Hearts II, now there was an RPG! Our hero returns home after many years to visit a whore house with his friends only be reunited with his sister, and his ex- best friend, her pimp. Upon living the whorehouse our hero his childhood idol, only to find him a worthless bum. To me, Vandal Hearts II suggests a formidable change in a character's thinking while Final Fantasy VIII does not.

-Goddard, shuddering at thought of his experience with FFVIII.


I have a real problem with this complaint. I didn't say I want RPGs that adhere strictly to reality; I simply said I appreciate and empathize better with realistic characters than I do with the sexy hit with the ladies who, guess what, is also from another planet!

I like seeing realistic characters in fantastic situations. Admittedly, that's only my own preference. but I really, truly believe that this makes for a may powerful RPG experience. If you don't agree with me, you're obviously wrong. Moving on.

And now I have an announcement to make. You're lucky enough to witness the arrival of a new addition to the Double Agent format: the Letter Not Even Deserving Of Any Response at All Award. Let's take a look at our first winner

Letter Not Even Deserving Of Any Response #1

Hey,

AHHHHHHHHHHH! This is almost the same feeling i got when i bought the GamePro PSX Guide with reviews of every game ever and saw the massive praise for LoD.....a severe feeling to beat someone to death. I think you are entitled to your opinion, whatever that may be, about the Jews, the African Americans, even the Nazis, but when you start supporting ff8, i gotta try and talk some sense into you. FF8 was by far the....no wait, i can't let SaGa Frontier 2 down.....ok, 2nd worst game I ever played. In my opinion, the game seemed like just a front to the great graphics...like Square made these amazing graphics and said, "Wait, damn it, we need a story...hell, let's make some people fight this......ultimate bad guy.....but then....the bad guy is related to them........so they travel and fight.......a new unexpected bad guy! YES!" Wait, isn't that FF4's story? I'm not saying any of the other games had much better stories, but to me it seemed like the story and the gameplay took a major backseat to graphics, and i'm glad to see ff9 is a lot more evened out and is a great game. ok, thanks for readin.

-Mino


You don't deserve good  alt text, either, punk.

Closing Comments:

Okay, so as you may have already guessed, Chris is out for a few days, so I'll be taking care of things until he gets back. Sorry to break the bad news.

Anyway, with all of this Final Fantasy talk, I figure I may as well keep the ball rolling. So here it goes: what changes to the FF and even RPG formula do you hope to see in FFX? What do you hope is kept the same? This is all opinion, so have a field day. Until tomorrow, my little human-shaped marshmallow treats.

-Drew Cosner, big on taste, not on fat.

 
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