It was fun, N64 - December 10th, 2000 - Drew Cosner
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. The kids call me "Mister Glass," but it's just because I'm a big wuss. Don't say we didn't warn you.
For today's introduction, I thought it would be funny if I took a page from the Man Show and filmed people
giving testimonials of how much they hate my column. You know, old women saying things like "Jesus Christ wouldn't
approve of this" or little kids sticking out their tongues. Stuff like that. Later I realized that said footage would
make for huge movie files that nobody would want to download anyway, putting a major damper on things.
Unfortunately, by that time I'd already wasted half the day inventing a robot that would hold the camera up for me,
dispense coffee by voice command, and offer encouragement in a hilarious Stephen Hawking voice, leaving little time to
come up with something else. So I'm afraid you just get another lame excuse intro. But don't worry, I'm already at
work on next week's smell-only introduction; it's gonna be awesome.
| Please, call me Drewmaphone |
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Punky Drewster,
I am living under a delusion. You see, I am willing to go to
great lengths to convince myself that purchasing a Sega
Dreamcast this Christmas will slake my desire for the latest
RPG's. Surely, a system with Grandia 2, Skies of Arcadia, Shen
Mue, and (if I really get bored) Phantasy Star Online, will be
enough to keep me happy long after the holiday season.
I'm fooling myself. As soon as Final Fantasy X comes out on
Sony's black box of expenditure, I will stand in line with all
the rest, and sell my soul (and possibly my Playstation 1) in
order to buy a Playstation 2 and FFX. Why? Because Squaresoft is
my daddy. I have no control over my wallet whenever a new Final
Fantasy comes out. God help me.
-powerfree, who doesn't have anything interesting to add to his
name
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Man do I feel your pain. You get a console; you enjoy all of the excellent titles it has to offer; then Square goes
and develops for another console. So while you have all of these excellent games to play, you feel like you're missing
out. Damn you, Square! Damn you for making me support companies other than Nintendo! I'll see you in Hell, Square!
Sure, you may be a corporation and I a human, but just you wait; I'll break out of the human part of Hell and sneak
through airducts until I'm in the corporation part, and you'll be sitting there sipping martinis and making small talk
with all of the other corporate monoliths and I'll come flying out of a vent and throw that martini right back in your
face and you'll feel so stupid, Square.
| Doesn't have the balls? |
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Drew,
Nintendo has to be really scared at this point to stop making good N64
games. I mean, come on, they were making SNES games long after FF7 was
already out. I have a N64, and while I only have a handful of games for it,
I still am enjoying them, even a year or two after their initial release. If
Nintendo were to release like 3 or 4 high-quality titles between now and
next year, I'm sure that'll tide us over till Gamecube. I'm pretty pissed
that the big N doesn't have the balls this time around to stick to their
guns until the rest of competition shows their hands.
Then again, it's not my financial future on the line.
-Red Raven, who is not buying the Gamecube until they give him Samus
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Yeah, like you say, Nintendo is abandoning support fairly early in comparison to the past.
Admittedly, much of the SNES's later support was courtesy of third parties, but even Nintendo was cranking out titles
like Super Mario World 2 fairly late in the game. This is just more visible evidence of Nintendo's gear shift to the
GameCube.
Although I must take objection to your comment about Nintendo "not having the balls." Nintendo's just being intelligent. Last time they reveal their games and controller early on, and suddenly Sony and Sega both come up with an analog controller, and both whip up their own competing versions of 3D platform games. Nintendo has historically had their ideas ripped off by the competition, so I commend them for keeping so quiet when it would obviously silence naysayers if they were more open with the info.
| I'm given ye all she's got! |
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Drew,
I would like to preface what I am about to say by making sure to note that I
honestly do like the Nintendo 64. That is to say, ever since I turned my
system on (Thursday, September 26, 1996) I've enjoyed without fail every one
of Nintendo's new releases (and the errant playable third-party title). PS2?
No, this month it's been Majora's Mask, Mario Story, and Sin and Punishment.
Whatever happens, I feel I will always have a place in my heart for my
memories of the N64.
That said, I can't wait for the damn thing to die. EVERY SINGLE new game, no
matter how original, inventive, or just plain ass-kicking, suffers due to the
N64 hardware. I am talking of course about the "N64 look," which basically
runs to heart-breakingly low polygon counts and disgustingly blurry textures.
Yes, some great leaps have been made since Mario 64, but it seems as if even
Nintendo just can't push any more out of the poor girl.
The N64 worked in spite of itself. The hardware was obviously flawed but the
games were simply too good for that to matter in the end. And that's the
point, of course; with the Gamecube we'll have those quality Nintendo titles
without the blurry graphics getting in the way. And that's one system launch
you will find me standing in line for.
-Chris Kohler
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I think the same can be said of any console, really, imposter Chris. With later-generation software, the tradeoff in
graphics is compensated for by the freedom knowledge of the hardware gives developers. (Let's face it, PSX games, no
matter how technically impressive, don't exactly look gorgeous.) Sure, a game may look better if it were available for
the PS2, but if a development team decides to code for the old PSX instead, they can focus on the gameplay since the
system's graphical capabilities are already understood.
That said, I do think upcoming games could suffer thanks to the N64. It's already firmly been cemented as a children's
console, and while Conker or Eternal Darkness could both kick major ass, few of the grown gamers would rush right out
to buy such an old console to play them. As a result, the sales suffer. There's a link I post later in the column that
talks about just that.
So, while it's going to suck having few games to play for my Nintendo system in the coming months, my official stance
is "I'm glad Nintendo is switching gears so enthusiastically."
| His logic is my logic too |
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I admit, I am one of those few remaining Nintendo loyalists. Hanging on to
my N64 through all those anti-Nintendo letters and slim releases, hoping to
see some good come through. Why? Tradition mainly. I got hooked on the
NES and clung to it and its incarnations. Not logical, but the truth.
But as to the topic, yes I am glad Nintendo is switching to the Gamecube
fully. They made several mistakes with the N64, but now they seem to be
reorganizing for another round. I say go for it. There's no better way to
learn than from your own mistakes, so I say take the time to make the
Gamecube the best it can be. I've lasted this long with Nintendo, I don't
see why I can't wait some more.
-Scott R
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That's pretty much how I feel. As I've said before, the console race always boils down to some company and Nintendo.
Nintendo always makes a strong showing, and I'm never disappointed by the company's first party titles. Shelling out
300 bucks for a PSX was a risk, but buying the Nintendo system was and always will be a sure-shot, as far as I'm
concerned.
| I print only the cream of the crop |
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i like to eat dog food
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Thank you for that non sequitur interlude. As a columnist, I always take time-out from my Nintendo-intensive columns
with a quick bite of dog food. And I'm not alone. In fact, 9 out of 10 letters columnists prefer the bold taste of
puppy chow. I won't say what they prefer it to, because then I'd be giving away the fact that the basis for comparison
was frozen vomit on a stick, and then that statistic wouldn't be nearly as impressive.
| The problem with gaming media |
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The difference between that and the gaming media is that respected and
popular publications like Entertainment Weekly don't try to dictate what
should sell, they simply report on what is selling. I'm just as excited
about MGS2 as anyone else, but when you have magazines like PSM declaring it
the game of the year for 2001 soley based on the video clips and no gameplay
(the gameplay demo was not shown or available when their latest issue went
to print) before it even is 2001, it's clear that gaming today has become
far too hype-driven and has no respect for it's journalistic responibilites.
All I'm saying is, most people already seem to have it in their heads that
highly anticipated releases are going to be the end-all-be-all of gaming
months before they're even released. Look at most console gaming magazines
and you'll see that the average review score is better than average, like
7/10 or 3.5 stars out of five, or whatever. The media deserves a lot of the
blame for this.
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Yes. The gaming media is unlike any other form of media on earth. We're nerds. We get excited about stuff. We're about
as professional as you can expect 30-year-olds who still dress like Pearl Jam roadies can be. But in defense of the
gaming media, while you can't conclusively tell if a movie is going to kick ass by trailers or clips, you can
get a strong taste for a game after a little hands-on time with an alpha version. I think that should be taken into
consideration.
| You are correct sir |
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In a recent report (at IGN) it was stated that MGS2 was not yet confirmed
to be ported to the X-Box because the real owner of Metal Gear is Hideo
Kojima himself, a bit like how George Lucas owns Star Wars. They were
currently trying to get his agreement. While I think that a port of MGS2 to
the X-Box is possible, I beleive it is more likely not to occur since
Kojima has stated many times his support for the PS2.
He has a lot of work right now since he is involved in both ZOE and MGS2,
and if there is indeed a port to the X-Box then he would do like he always
does and work on the port too. I doubt he has the time, he will probably
want to work more on the PS2 instead of starting working on some other
console and maybe make the port at a later time depending on the X-Box's
success. Whatever the case, the X-Box version of MGS2 probably won't be
released any time soon (maybe in 2002).
-Phil
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Yeah, I didn't mention that. While Konami may be all over the idea of porting their series to every system in creation
for added revenue, they'll have to convince Kojima to go along with the idea. Then again, I'm pretty sure Konami has
the money needed to tempt him.
| I'll tell you how |
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One question: How can you freaks find Persona appealing? Were you all dropped as children, or did you all just smoke
the same whacked-out crack?
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I don't know about everyone else, but I'll tell you why I personally enjoy the series: specifically because it doesn't
play like the developers went down a checklist of RPG cliches, making sure to mark each off so it would appeal to the
supposed "traditional RPG fan." Persona 2 still has random enemy encounters and invisible party members (read:
everyone but the lead character is invisible on field but they magically appear during cutscenes), but at least the premise and backdrop is
comparatively original. Now if we can just get that Earthbound sequel for the GameCube...
| ...and back on topic |
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Drew,
Is it a good thing, you ask, that Nintendo is virtually abandoning the N64
in favor of the Gamecube? A week ago, I wouldn't've bothered to write in
about this topic, but I have a somewhat stronger opinion on the subject
considering I bought an N64. Yesterday. And instead of leaving you in
suspense, I'll tell you right now: my answer to that is an emphatic "No."
Although you could probably have already guessed that.
I've always been morally opposed to the N64 and everything it stands for,
but the lure of Ogre Battle 64 proved to be too much for my poor, pitiful
principles. Now, mind you, I don't think I'll ever regret buying the
system, and after I finish OB there'll still be a bunch of old games for me
to catch up on--Mario, the two Zeldas [Zeldae?], and Quest [*snicker*] come
immediately to mind. Not to mention (well, okay, I'll mention it) that the
uncultured, vulgar common people who I deign to consider my friends will
think I'm a lot cooler since they can play Perfect Dark at yet another
person's house (and I'm sure I'll still suck at it just as much, sigh).
But still, thanks for reminding me of how bad my timing is. I really
appreciate it being rubbed in like that. Next time you make a decision
that's even the slightest bit silly or illogical, I'll make sure I
indirectly mock you by making your choice the daily topic for *my* popular
letters column on the internet. ...now I'd better hurry up and get myself a
popular letters column on the internet. As soon as I finish OB64, that is.
-SR
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Hey, don't get mad at me, I'm in the same boat as you are. Once I get and finish Banjo Tooie, I'm pretty much forced
to turn to my Dreamcast for kicks during the coming months. It's just fortunate that this relative drought of
innovative titles comes at a time in my life when tuition is like a giant money leech that clings to my back sucking
me dry, gradually getting so heavy that I can't even stand up and I fall backwards on the sidewalk on the way to class
and nobody comes to help me they just point their damned fingers and laugh and spit on me and kick dirt in my eyes and
I HATE THOSE PEOPLE. Oh, no, wait; that's just one of my recurring dreams.
At any rate, it is ironic when you think about it. During the 16 bit days, I didn't just not own a Genesis: Sega was
the enemy. Sure, Sonic looked cool, but if Nintendo's biggest competitor thought they were getting a single red
cent out of me, they had another think coming. Now I root for Sega, and plan on devoting most of my gaming time in the
coming months to the company's latest machine. I'd like to make some kind of comment about how fate has a strange
sense of humor, but I feel really geeky getting philosophical about videogame consoles.
| I've got some bad news about that |
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Well, unlike most, I still own my N64, and I still play it. I'm buying
Zelda:MM soon, and next year I'm buying Paper Mario(Ugh, what a horrible
title for a game) Dinosaur Planet (maybe, it looks cool) and have we all
forgotten Conker's Bad Fur Day! That will be an awesome game! I think.
It's obscene, nasty, adult humor looks to make it the first game ever to
have
me rolling on the floor in laughter. That's a pretty good feat.
-Scott
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In response to this, I'd just like to point out this link. It may
be a biased editorial based solely on heresay, but I really think there's something to it. Depressing, I know. But I
do think having Eternal Darkness and Conker ready for the launch of the GameCube would be an excellent, excellent
decision. With those two titles, Nintendo could shake that damnable "kiddy" designation right off the bat, and that
would only be for the advantage if you ask me.
| Returning to the fold |
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Hey Drew,
I've been talking about the launch of the GameCube and X-Box a lot lately,
trying to figure out who's going to win the console war once all the
systems are out. He tends to think the X-Box will do quite well, though
I'd have to say that I agree with the "I don't know if we need another
hardware manufacturer in town lacking the first-party strength" comment you
made yesterday. Microsoft just hasn't shown off anything that incredible,
and if I wanted to play a PC game I'd just get a controller for my PC. I
think it'll finish third at best, with the Dreamcast ultimately losing (a
shame, since I just recently realized how good it was... oh well, maybe the
price'll drop more and I can nab one finally). The GameCube, on the other
hand, is something I'm really looking forward to.
Yes, Nintendo has burned a good number of people with the N64. They just
haven't had the support, and they've made a lot of dumb mistakes. That's
why it's good that they're moving on now. They still have a year to
launch, maybe they can get the GC out on time. Plus, like you said about
the low number of development kits, they really need to work hard on some
games for the launch. if they can get a new Mario, Metroid, and Zelda game
out on launch (or very close to it), they'll have a great chance at
reclaiming their thrown from Sony. Especially since many of us grew up on
those three series, and now that we're adults with money (well, except for
those of us in college), I would assume that we'd go for titles like these. Also, a sequel to Super Smash Bros,
Pokemon (preferably an RPG, not a damn
Stadium game), and a new shooter from Rare would make the launch even more
appealing to the general masses. If they can get these 6 titles ready by
launch and keep the system at a low price, Nintendo could be king of the
hill again.
Okay, I realize this letter is getting really long, but I forgot to e-mail
you yesterday about Konami. I won't be picking up my PS2 until the launch
of Zone Of the Enders, which looks incredible. There's some good titles
out now, but that definitely looks like a must-have. Silent Hill 2 looks
very good, and Metal Gear Solid 2... well, I don't even need to talk about
it. You all know. It's not that other developers aren't doing well with
the PS2, but Konami really seems to have jumped on the system, and all the
work they're putting into their games shows.
-CTZanderman, who disrupted the Emporer's New Groove and was thrown out of
a window.
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Your talk of returned support and people being burned reminds me of another discussion I had the other day.
Specifically, Yamauchi has gone on record to state that he only intends to stick around and see how things go with the
GameCube's launch before retiring. Now, you have to wonder if Square's refusal to return to the Nintendo fold isn't
based solely on Yamauchi's continued reign. Once he finally packs up for the equator or wherever insane videogame
company owners go after retirement, it wouldn't surprise me to see show interest in the Big N once again.
Of course, to be perfectly honest, I figure Yamauchi will "retire" in a pine box, but it's an interesting thought,
isn't it? Plus I felt like dragging this column out further still today. It's quantity over quality today, folks.
| You went and pushed my big meany-head button |
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Drew,
I believe Nintendo is making a very wise decision to switch gears and move
forward with Gamecube. Let's face it, it had three good games and now it is
dead. I think they need to change their strategy and launch with some good
first party titles. (Zelda, Metroid, Mario, you get the picture) Then back
that up with the third party titles, especially RPG's. Of course that is not
going to happen because as I read in NextGen, they are only going to release
FIVE titles at launch. Let's hope they know what they are doing.
The Strawberry-Kiwi Car Seat Tragedy
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God, I get tired of that line. "It only had [some ridiculously tiny number] of good games!" That is such bullshit, and I'm
so tired of every anti-Nintendo gamer spouting it off. But enough, the proof is in my fist in your face, as the old
axiom goes, so I've compiled a list of excellent N64 titles that have kept myself and other Nintendo fans happy these
past 4 years:
- Banjo Kazooie
- Banjo Tooie
- Beetle Adventure Racing
- Blast Corps.
- Body Harvest
- Diddy Kong Racing
- Donky Kong 64
- Excitebike 64
- F-Zero X
- GoldenEye
- Harvest Moon 64
- Jet Force Gemini
- Kirby 64: the Crystal Shards
- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
- The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask
- Mario Golf
- Mario Kart 64
- Mario Party 1 and 2
- Mario Tennis
- Micro Machines 64
- Mortal Kombat Trilogy (Haha, just kidding. Keeping you on your toes.)
- Ogre Battle 64
- Perfect Dark
- Pilotwings 64
- Pokemon Puzzle League
- Pokemon Snap
- Rainbow Six
- Rayman 2
- Resident Evil 2
- Ridge Racer 64
- San Francisco Rush
- Rush 2
- Rush 2049
- Shadow Man
- Shadowgate 64
- Super Mario 64
- Super Smash Brothers
- Tetrisphere
- Tony Hawk
- Vigilante 8
- Vigilante 8: Second Offense
- Wipeout 64
- Wetrix
- Worms: Armageddon
- Wave Race 64
There. And that list doesn't even include things that I don't care about, like sports games. So, in speaking for every
N64 fan out there, I ask: "What? Why does your head keep making noise?"
Closing Comments:
I don't really have a topic for tomorrow, but I do have something amazing to tell you: according to the GIA's poll,
female readership is up an entire precentage point since last year! That's right, now 9% of gamers are
female! Fantastic! If that isn't proof that gaming's gone mainstream, I don't know what is. I guess my work is done.
Now I can retire to a tropical island and eat cuisine like lizards and stuff for the rest of my days.
-Drewblai Kahn
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