Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Cannibalistic snuff fiction HOT! Don't say we didn't warn you.

It's always a little strange the first week after finals. It's like there's something missing from your life. Going an entire day without doing any homework seems oddly criminal, and the fact that I can actually look forward to playing some games tomorrow rather than studying on a Sunday is downright bizarre. Plus, when I wake up in a cold sweat screaming out a professor's name, I can't blame it on school pressures anymore; now it's just weird.

Yeah, that's something deserving of being pointed out. Of course, Chris probably realized that very point, but being the excellent host he is, left it unstated so that the "accidental" hole in his logic could be picked up on and debated by you readers. I hope you all appreciate Chris's savvy.

Actually, I don't know if that's true, but I have a real aversion to one-line replies on my part. Now I get to feel as though I've actually accomplished something, so I actually deserve the way the rest of the staff changes the paper at the bottom of my cage and gives puts fresh food and water in my dish every couple of weeks.

There is a certain truth to that. After all, just about anything being projected onto a giant array of television screens with the accompanying soundtrack being blasted out of several surrounding speakers seems cool. I don't know if the sound waves rattle your brain or what, but even the stupidest trailer seems amazing when you're watching it in THX at the theatre.

And no, he didn't. I did try my hand at Guitarfreaks, and I suppose I "played" it if you would call randomly smashing buttons in a misguided effort to match the pattern on screen as it scrolled past quicker than I think the human eye is capable of registering "playing."

Dude, no offense, but if you saw the ads for that movie and thought it was going to be any good, you're an idiot.

I realize that I don't have a little list of guidelines for getting printed like Chris does, so I figured I'd throw this to help you guys out. Generally, I prefer letters that thought-out and well written, although I'm willing to bend those rules if your letter is either funny or makes a point in need of being made.

However, if you can't do either, at least do try to write a letter that makes sense. I realize sometimes you come home from a hard day and just want to type a random string of letters, characters, and spaces, then send that off to the column, but when you do that one of two things will happen:

1. You'll send it to Chris, who will simply ignore it.
2. You'll send it to me, and I'll make fun of it because I'm a petty prick who can't afford a stature vehicle or stature clothes or pretty much anything that would make me look reasonably affluent.

You mean there's games that you don't play in diapers?

You lucked out. My initial reaction was to skip this letter for being too long andthen move on to something more deserving of my time, like letters about eating dog food. But something about it CAPTURED MY SOUL and so I read on.

Anyway, I agree that one game isn't going to appeal to every gamer. That's why you need excellent titles representing every major genre for a console to be truly successful. The N64 is a great example: sure there are plenty who love Nintendo's first party titles, and these people did keep the system afloat despite the odds. However, the console lacked strong titles in several major categories (like, say, RPGs), and because of that it was always a distant second to the PSX in sales. MGS2 will certainly be a killer app that gets many aboard, but to reach that critical mass, Sony is going to need developers bringing the goods in other genres as well. Chances are that will happen, although the increased interest in multi-platform support being shown by developers may make this an interesting console battle.

And moving on to the latter half of your letter, I'd tend to agree. As long as the storyline is there, people will pay to see it. Fans of the series or not.

FFX will undoubtedly be the title that gets RPG fans interested, no arguments there. Stupid Square, always forcing me to buy a second console. I miss the good old days, when I had Mario, Zelda, and Final Fantasy on a single console. As for the X Box, I'm not too gung-ho about it just yet. Sure, it has a few decent ports announced, but where are the system exclusives? Third parties already have Sony, I don't know if we need another hardware manufacturer in town lacking the first-party strength. But hey, we'll see.

I hope that's an exaggeration, because if there's one series aching for a technical upgrade in the sound department, it's the Final Fantasy series. I don't know how he can listen to the stuff his peers are cranking out in games like Chrono Cross and Brave Fencer Musashi and not at least feel nerd tech envy.

Closing Comments:

Okay, here's your topic for tomorrow: we all know that the N64 isn't exaclty the happening console in the coming year. In fact, there's practically nothing coming out for the thing at all. So, I ask you, do you feel it's a good thing that Nintendo has so whole-heartedly switched tracks to the upcoming GameCube? After all, a strong lineup is going to be essential, and with third parties only having received their development kits a few months ago (and many not at all), it's going to be up to Nintendo and its second parties to provide the goods in the initial months. Then again, it is pretty low that Nintendo devotees are left with little to get excited about until the GameCube's release late next year.

Now, I realize that most of you don't own an N64 and hence couldn't give half a nod about this topic. If that's the case, just write to me about whatever. You were going to anyway, you ass.

-Drew Cosner, who isn't a Nintendo whore, he's just big-boned