Hey dumbass. We do have a President. It's Bill Clinton, remember? Good ole Slick Willy is still da' man.

AK,

In response to Princess Jemmy who said, "the Inhuit have 100 words for snow", that is flat out wrong. First of all, the old Eskimo snow business is an urban legend (see G.K. Pullum, The Great Eskimo Vocabulary Hoax). The reasons for this occurring is stereotyping and exaggeration. There are actually several languages which are lumped together by Westerners as "Inhuit" or "Eskimo" (both refer to culture areas and *not* to ethnic groups), e.g. Inupiat, Central Yu'pik, Cupik, Siberian Yupik, Alutiit, etc. The language with the most words for "snow" (and this total actually includes terms for different types of packed ice in terms of safety) is Inupiat, with 11. Western skiers actually distinguish more words for snow than any Eskimo/Inhuit group.

The original myth of "400 Eskimo words for snow" was created decades ago by an ethnography student. The bad thing about it was that this lie was the cause of many adaptionist arguments about language (they needed all the different words because they were in the snowy environment), and led to many value statements about languages as inherently inferior or superior (that many indigenous languages weren't "advanced" enough to allow them to think like Westerners). This is why I had to sound off on this when I saw this myth being propagated. However, this isn't just a linguistic/ethnography lesson, I do have a video game related point.

In terms of the whole translation topic, the problem with translating to and from languages is that different languages have different vocabulary distinguishments and different associations with those vocabulary. When involved in translating from a chracter language, this becomes even more muddled. So when you translate into English (the language with by far the most words), the translator has to try and give the gist without ruining the flow of the speech. For example, the great novel "Crime and Punishment" by Fydor Dostoievski is approximately *three* times as long in the english version. This is because rather than using one word with the connotation of more than one reference and action, one has to find several words that fit the meaning. So when you read a translation of many langauges, you are really reading the interpretation of the translator. And the translation isn't simple for even one fluent in both langauges involved. This is because most people learn secondary languages after the ages of 5-7, and they basically learn the langauge through learning what words and meanings are "supposed" to translate into as learned through the primary langauge. So does "gheist" mean "ghost"? Or does it mean something that seems like a ghost, but really can have the connotation English puts on "spirit", or poltergeist", etc.? Well, you were told it meant ghost, so you translate it as ghost. What a good translator does is look at the connotation of what is being said, and tries and tranlate that meaning into the primary language *without adhering strictly to one-to-one translation of the vocabulary*.

Hope that helps some, or at least gets rid of the myth of the Eskimo words for snow. Later.

AK-

I have a FF7 poster in my room, and looking at it the other day, I noticed something. Sephiroth and Aeris look a lot alike in that poster. This leads me to one conclusion.

Aeris is actually Sephiroth in drag.

Hear me out first. Why is it that you never actually see Aeris and Sephy in the same place at the same time? Sure Seph shows up a couple of times to pester your party, (the ocean liner, to name one example) but that is obviously a holigram projected by the real Sephiroth, standing right next to Cloud the whole time. And all the destruction that "Sephiroth" left in his wake throughought the 1st disc was caused by the Sephiroth clones from Nibelheim. Also note that Aeris was adopted, so to speak, so that explains how her "mother" didn't know about it.

Now, you may ask, "What about the scene at the end of disc 1 when Seph blatant lack of blood. Also, the only time she moved in that whole scene was when she looked up at Cloud and smiled. This could easily be a trick of the light combined with Cloud's imagination. kills Aeris?" well, my friends, that Aeris was just a dummy. Note the

Besides, it's made clear that Sephiroth is quite insane. After all that time in the labs, maybe Seph developed a multiple personality? That would mean that the being known as Sephiroth is actually 2 halves of the same person. There's the benevolent Aeris and the evil Sephiroth. This is also why Aeris' spirit didn't go to help the Lifestream until much later than the rest. Because it was still alive, inside Sephiroth.

Now, why did Seph pretend for so long, just to kill his alter-ego in the end? Well, when he freed Jenova, it released that psycological block that formed because of a lack of a female parent figure, and the pretending wasn't needed anymore. This was all to be explained in a 4th disc, but it was cut from production due to time constraints.

-Ulty

Actually, FFIV's translation was pretty accurate. There were two FFIV's in Japan, the "real" FFIV (called FFIV Hardtype), and a simplistic kiddie version that was suitable for introducing younger players to the world of Final Fantasy (called FFIV Easytype). Now gather 'round kids, ol gramps is gonna tell you a story. Back in the day, when the SNES was considered the pinnacle of gaming entertainment, Nintendo of America had this silly little belief that all games were for kids and should be marketed as such (much like the present day situation of anime on television). I'm not sure who's decision it was, either Nintendo was once again forcing the American product to be dumbed-down and simplified, or because of Nintendo's policy Square decided that as a society we weren't ready for a real Final Fantasy, but what we got was a translated Final Fantasy IV Easytype. Sure, it's a great game, until you find out just how much we were cheated out of. Important story points, character development, each character had added commands on the battle menu; we got none of this. It's really insulting when you think about it.

Kids today don't know how lucky they are.

-Lord of the Pants, who thinks Bush and Gore out to just have a deathmatch and let the winner be President.

AK,

Soup is good food. I would go into a long and drawn out discussion as to why, but then again, who would argue?

-Mikey B.

P.S.- It's been a while (for me, at least). How's it been goin'?

Imperial Mog brought up a rather interesting point in yesterday's column. It would be fun to have a president who was an active gamer. Instead of social dinners and international debates, we could solve everything with a friendly game of Tekken 15 or Mario Party 30. Considering most gamers are in their 20's, I guess we have about 40 to 50 years left to wait, though.

-Nova

P.S. Instead of political parties being divided between Republicans and Democrats, we'd have Segans, Nintendocrats, Sony Peaceans, and Microsoftforms. At least then we'd have more choices..

Is there any idea when Shenmue 2 is coming out in the USA? I have to have it. Shenmue was sooooo AWESOME!!!!

Thanx,
Bibleben

AK,

Shenmue....It might have beena good game if it the voice acting had been left in japanese, but as it stands listening to the speech makes me want to vomit. Im also aggrivated with what must surely be bad translation. This is an example of how the dialouge between on of the NPC's in town goes.

You: Excuse me.
Man: Excuse me, im tired so if you have to ask, ask someone else.

Ask what? All I did was get his attention. This is the point where I knew all was lost.

Kandrin on ice.

Yo AK,

I have an awful, awful story to tell you, that ended not so bad.

I got my PS2 a couple of days ago. After the nerves-rattling car trip home, I ripped open the box and got all of the wires assembled. I had everything plugged in and ready to go. I had to set the internal clock first, then a few other preferences. I hit the eject button. The drive comes out about a quarter inch and goes back in. I press it again and again with the same result. I have the urge to start breaking stuff, so I move away from the PS2. I call Sony, and they tell me to send it in to California to get it fixed, and that I'll get it after 7-10 days.

So, first they can't make enough, then the ones they make are faulty. God love America. But I forgot a basic American tenet: If it's broke, poke it until it works. Too afraid to wreck the system myself, my dad took some metal thing and stuck it into the drive until he felt something move. Miraculously, the drive opened afterward. So, now the system works and all is happy. However, I was one long metal thing away from waiting another 2 weeks to play the PS2, AKA the noisest console ever (what with the fan and loud disc drive).

May your PS2's be well-made
--The Steve