Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. The Behemoth has landed. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Gonna be a strange column today. I made a few mistakes people corrected me on, there's the usual random chatter that fills this place up when I don't specify a topic, and a mighty battle over DQ is brewing like a cold front on the horizon. But it ain't quite here yet.

Meantime, my stuff has in fact finally shown up, so let there be much rejoicing. There was some minor damage (mostly due to the driver insisting he could bring an 8 foot couch up a flight of stairs himself without any problems) but fortunately I got full insurance, so the moving company should cover it. I don't know if I'll play any Chrono Cross tonight, but tomorrow afternoon after my shift a marathon play session will begin, and hopefully by the time Labor Day is over I'll have beaten the game and CC discussion can commence. In the meantime, talk quietly amongst yourselves.

Onward.

It's nice that after a long absence, Square has finally returned to handheld gaming. Importers should be happy, and with CC's recent sales Square may even be tempted to push some more product Stateside. But still, I gotta wonder why Square isn't putting out any new handheld content. The Wonderswan, color or not, probably doesn't have the user base to make development profitable, but the GBA should be an entirely different story. If Square really has been nosing around Dolphin then the rift with Nintendo shows signs of healing, so why not put something out for the GBA?

Once upon a time I considered myself a pretty obsessed gamer, but stuff likes this makes me wonder how I can possibly host this column when I don't even know how many spikes Crono has on his head?

Yep, I screwed up. I remembered that Chrono got turned into Crono for the US release, but forgot that this was only true of the character, not the title. My bad.

I gotta disagree with your disagreement, Mr. Kaufmann, sir. What's the point of having time travel in a game if you're not gonna use it to its fullest potential? If you only use time travel as an excuse to go from one place to another, why invoke it at all? Why not just have different continents or cities? Time travel has a whole host of possibilities that a good story can get into, only one of which is the paradox head trip that you mention. Chrono Trigger does get into the "second chance" theme, and does it quite well, but when you consider what else they could have done, how much more could have been accomplished, I think you've got to find the game comes up short. I mean, imagine being able to go back in time all you wanted in a game - revisiting the same events (and your former and future selves interacting with those events) over and over again. That would simply kick ass.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a lighthearted time travel adventure that doesn't take itself too seriously: I did mention Time Bandits, after all. But CT doesn't even begin to plumb the depths of its home territory, and I think that's worth pointing out.

This has to be the single greatest compliment I've been paid since I've started this column, if not in my entire life. Love my work or hate it, the fact that I've made something that people makes people care enough to go digging through five months worth of old columns means more to me than any amount of "you're doing a great job" ever could. (Not that it's not great to get those too.) Sad individual or not, Imad, you've completely reinvigorated me and assured that I'll be doing this column for many months to come.

As to the actual content of your letter, looking back at the treasure trove of old DQ quotes you've come up with, I'm pleased to say that I still stand behind every single one of those statements. It's worth pointing out a few details: "I would call Final Fantasy superior saleswise to DQ" referred to both series as a whole, which is true, especially in the PSX era. I'm pretty sure I never said FF9 would outsell DQ7 in Japan, but if I did, obviously I was wrong. Some of those were said somewhat sarcastically, and should be taken with a grain of salt, but they are reflective of my attitude toward the game. I never said the Japanese have no taste, and I find the implication a little insulting. It's true that at one point I did question how much DQ7 would sell, which was foolish on my part given how many presales the game had. But we still haven't heard how much people actually like the game, Andy Church's single incomplete datapoint aside. Seeing me talk about presales not meaning anything might look like backpedaling to some of you, but I'm still not satisfied with the data we have on this one. And until we do, I'm not gonna state anything for sure one way or another about DQ7. (It's true that I've been skeptical about the game, but I don't believe I've ever out and out called it bad. Why? Because I don't know.) If the majority of reviews are good (say, 90% or higher) I promise I will admit I was wrong, but we're not there yet and I don't think we're gonna be.

I dunno what's going on here, except that Sears may be rather cleverly netting a bit more profit for itself. Think about it: the PS2 looks to be a very hot item for this coming holiday season, this year's Tickle Me Elmo except cooler. We already know that preorders made right now may not get you a system until next Spring, but demand for the system as a Christmas present isn't gonna decrease because of that. With the economy as good as it is, I'm sure there are tons of people who'd gladly pay $550 to get a PS2 before the end of the year, both parents and grown-up kids. Even a few PS2s that weren't presold could mean major profits for Sears.

Now, I haven't seen the Sears Wishbook, and I don't know how it works. It could be a misprint, I could be wrong, there could even be legal issues involved with what I'm suggesting. But it makes sense to me.

Ok, I admit it, you paid more for CT than I did. As I go on with this column, I become more and more aware and sympathetic towards the plight of our Canadian brethren, from expensive games to bilingual instructions to rabid moose. Two thoughts, my northern neighbors: persevere, and emigrate when you get the chance.

Even to me, it's become clear this debate's gone on long enough. At this point I'm looking to get some definitive info on the game one way or another just to back up my original hypothesis: that the game is antiquated, and the venerable DQ developers screwed up on this one. However, I can't deny that as a series, in Japan, DQ is number one and likely always will be, if only from a historical standpoint. I'm not arguing otherwise.

Like I've said, if the reviews are great I'll admit I'm wrong. If DQ sells two million more copies in Japan, I'll admit the game is at least striking a chord among the Japanese, and admit I'm wrong. And if DQ7 outsells FF9 worldwide, once the US sales of both games are taken into account, I'll at least admit I was overzealous. But the data isn't in yet, and until it is, my advice is to clip and save this column so you can throw my words back in my face if I'm wrong. That's all for now.

Closing Comments:

Still unpacking, and it took me most of tonight to write this column. But as soon as the column's out of the way tomorrow night then 72 free hours come up, most of which will be filled with Square, Square, and more Square. So my topic for tomorrow is this: short. I'm not looking for one sentence letters here, or even one hundred word letters. But I want to see what you can say about gaming when you try to boil away all but the deepest essence. Make it profound, funny, whatever, just make it good. Later.

-Chris Jones, his soul strengthened by this victory