Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. <Insert amusing text for those simpering halfwits here> Don't say we didn't warn you.

Well, I've got to hand it to Chris. The day he finally hands over the column to my eager little hands, even if just for a few short days, he manages to do it while a conversation about politics is in full swing. As a simple Canadian backwater bumpkin, we've now strayed just about as far from my realm of expertise as humanly possible.

So, here's the plan: I'll reply to the politically-charged letters I receive today with as many references to "Medicare," "Republican Convention," "culture of violence," and "Lieberman" in an attempt to fool you readers into thinking I have even a hint of a clue. I'll also throw in some unused letters from my previous stints at doing Double Agent (in order to keep things at least mildly amusing for those who get their kicks above the waistline, sunshine).

In exchange, you send me letters for tomorrow's column that relate in absolutely no way to politics. Talk about your secret lusting for Tron Bonne, your thoughts on Working Designs' mystery PS2 launch title, or that really neat trick you just taught your Canus domesticus. Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, don't try and pull my mind out of my self-centred universe into the world of worthwhile societal issues.

Deal? Great.

You stand clarified, sir. As for the whole video game ratings enforcement / sales restriction issue, we definitely seem to be headed in a frightening direction where that remains a very real possibility in the mainstream, widespread market. Thankfully, though, recent steps in that direction have been flawed -- take British Columbia's recent retail ban on Soldier of Fortune to anyone under 18. While I won't get into the validity of the ban (short version: the game is EXTREMELY violent), a provincial politician concerned said something to the effect of "Parents looking at the box on the shelf have no idea if they're buying a violent title or a harmless game." Of course, the box clearly displays an ESRB rating, but that's not stopping British Columbia from developing its own plans to rate games; their mandatory system, according to reports, will offer much more "strict" and detailed guidelines for parents looking to purchase games for their children.

Strict or no, hopefully the province will call it a day at new ratings and resist the temptation to restrict further games; who knows, maybe a good game could be next?

Finally, in your letter yesterday, you expressed concerns about potential censorship made in an effort to meet lower rating standards. Check out this excerpt from Lieberman's apperance just this past Tuesday on Larry King Live:

"What we have done is reach out and call out to folks in Hollywood and the record industry, the video-game industry, television, and say exercise some self-restraint. Bill Bennett and I believe with a fierce devotion in the First Amendment. We'd never ask for censorship. The most we've done by law -- and incidentally, Vice President Gore has been a critical supporter of this effort -- is pass the V-chip, give parents the power to block what they don't want their kids to see, ask the TV stations, and the movies, and the video games and the records to rate the products so parents will know what their kids are buying and can exercise some control."

Interesting, no?

That's one hell of a worst-case scenario (or two scenarios, as the case may be). For one to engage in murder due to a root "little bit of stress" which slowly builds up would require some serious psychological issues to be already present in the gamer in question. Can stress be a contributing factor to a video game gunman's shooting spree? Most certainly. But from the sound of your letter, it sounds like it could potentially be the only driving force behind such a crime. I certainly hope that scenario never becomes possible.

Still, I must admit that I certainly can get frustrated while playing a highly competitive and violent title; just this weekend, while on a particularly nasty losing streak playing against a friend in Soul Calibur, I grew more and more silent and brooding after each loss. I had to consciously remind myself that it was only a game and hardly a reason to get upset. But it was certainly frustrating to put in so much effort to try and defeat my friend yet eke out few, if any, victories.

On a related note, check out this story, which hit the newswires just a few hours ago. While there's hardly a surprising result from the study (there certainly is no cause-and-effect relationship), it's still interesting to see the corrolation between violent video games and agressive language.

Hey, I'm allowed at least one self-indulgent letter, aren't I? Anyway, I suppose I can try to put on some weight for you, dear Steve, but I'm afraid I hardly have the frame for it, as you can see here. (Photo taken last year in a friend's room after a Weird Al concert. Signature and meeting, baby!)

As for the nickname, I won't discuss what it really means. Please. Children read this website.

This is clearly an issue which needs to be discussed as much in the spotlight as possible. With Medicare's shaky record, it's becoming more and more obvious that the recent Republican Convention did not address the crucial complementary problem of the American society's culture of violence and Lieberman's heavy-handed rhetoric against the moral degredation of our great land.

Right. Moving on.

Neither of us actually live in Japan, so we aren't exposed to any violence and subsequent media sensationalism which might occur there. There have been some -extreme- cases of violence -- I recall hearing about some kid, recently, who cut off the heads of his peers and stored them somewhere in his house after cleaning them. But it also helps that (someone please correct me if I'm wrong!) owning a gun is forbidden in the Land of the Rising Sun. I do agree that it is a cultural difference, but not one between fantasy and reality; maybe something more along the lines of what kinds of and how much aggressive behavior is tolerated as one grows up.

Real letter. No joke. You folks wouldn't believe some of the stuff we get sometimes.

Some of our weirdest letters even come from regular, normally-sane readers.

I won't even get into the implications of that analogy.

Closing Comments:

Well, that's that for today. Like I mentioned in the intro, send me anything non-political tomorrow. It's like a Free Topic Friday, but it's on a Thursday. Will audiences adapt? We'll see.

-Brian Glick, unique (just like everyone else)