| No quadrilaterals, please - July 27, 2000 - Chris Jones Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the
participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is
coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. I miss cold and rain. Don't say
we didn't warn you.
We are not talking about a certain prominent Japanese RPG developer today. Not even a
little bit. We're not talking about any of the games they make, or the effect they may
have on the industry, good or ill. We're not talking about any of their ambitious
spin-offs, and we're certainly not talking about a recent factual inaccuracy stated in
this column about how one of those spin-offs supposedly had a $200 million budget. No
one's going to mention how many people didn't send mail in about a certain weekly news
magazine, which stated that the actual budget was closer to $70 million. We're not saying
any of those things, because we feel no need to maintain some sense of accuracy, so I hope
you're satisfied.
Onward.
| Plurals are for losers |
| Hey Agent, Well you put the topic forth, and I`ll comply. No mention
of "that" company. In fact, I`m not even going to employ the 19th letter of the
alphabet at all in the current letter. Rather, I`m going to extol the joy of playing
Breath of Fire III.
Now, here we have one very cool game. Ryu, Nina, Rei, Teepo, Garr and the remaining
motley bunch epitomize individuality in gaming. They have their own unique character, in
addition to a particular "talent" they are each endowed with. All of them are
required to complete the game, and all play a part in the tale. And, on the topic of the
tale, Breath of Fire III doth have one of them, verily, and an enjoyable one to boot (can
you tell that I`m running into trouble about now?). A mixture of the bonding experience
between the gang and the yearning to find out about the time before. The battle portion of
the game can only help endear it to gaming-folk even more. Then we have the minigame, the
one where you can take your time and do a little languid hunting of the aquatic. Ah, the
delight.
Agent, my advice to you, give it a try. Now, go forth and play. And bring on Breath of
Fire IV.
Hey, I actually made it all the way through without typing the letter S......d`oh!
Alex |
I don't have anything against BoF, I just don't have time to get into it at the moment.
Other than that, not a lot to say, I just had to respect the effort it took not to use the
most useful letter in the English language for so long.
| Star Wars, wonderful Star Wars... |
| Finally I get to feel nrmal about not writing about ssssss.... them. yay!
So I'll talk about the Star Wars RPG. Seeing as a lot of my fellow SW freaks got off
that bandwagon after ep. 1, I have no one else to talk about it to.
Now, not that many details are out there, but I've been waiting for something like this
since mystic quest (my first rpg by ...hmm, no squaer button on this keyboard)
In fact, this game could be Mystic Quest with SW stuff and I'd still like it. Anyways,
I think this should definitely have "random battles" when you're traveling to
and from planets, on planets, or when escaping stuff. But this should be one of those
Chrono Trigger like games where you can see your enemies and the backgrounds dont change.
Otherwise, its like chewie, IT JUST DOESNT MAKE SENSE! (if you havent seen that ep. of
south park, you wouldnt know)
Another cool feature should be a BIG selection of ships to choose from to use, even an
option to make your own. Sure, given the time period, theyd be primitive. But you could
use them to travel to different planets freely. each planet would be like a town. 'cept
thered be a bunch of towns on them as well.
One thing that Lucas really needs to make sure is good is the battling. They need a) an
innovative, fun system or b) a cheap rip off of a really good system. I dont think anyone
can truly expect that is Lucas made their own system that it would be good.
Lastly, they need to concentrate on the story more than all the other Star Wars games
out there. Its an RPG, so thats a no brainer, but with the quality of these other games
(ep.1, j.p.b.) i thought i should bring that up.
and CG? no no no no no. thats the first step to making a game like this one that has
potential to be a graphics whore.
-Scott |
Those are all good suggestions for the Star Wars RPG (although you did tangentially
mention "them".) Still, I'd think the primary concern of this column would have
to be the nature of the game - if it starts out as a PC RPG, then it may play entirely
differently than most of us console gamers are used to. In fact, I'd think the game would
almost have to play PC RPG style, since immersion in the Star Wars universe would be a
main selling point, and plot would be a secondary concern, because being 4000 years before
any of the movies would free them of having to tell a Luke or Han or Obi story. And since
I've always felt narrative should be the paramount element in an RPG, I'm fairly
ambivalent about this announcement. Still, there's plenty of time left for BioWare to
change my mind.
| Darvonese made EZ |
| For the record, just because a game is released in North America, it
doesn't mean that the game recieved a translation. Wild Arms 2 is a perfect example -
anybody who has played the second disc and can understand the dialogue is, of course,
lying, and should be immediately transferred to the "Translation Re-education
Center" in Redmond, Washington. There, they can recieve two hours of quality
instructional time, the demo for Lunar SSSC, and a free Dictionary. Really, WA2 is
equivocally the worst translation of a game I have ever seen. No hilarious quotes, no
offbeat phrases. Just hours of the most confusing and inane dialogue I have ever tried to
read.
"Ard."
KZ |
Haven't gotten to the second disk yet, but from the hour or so I've played so far the
game seems passable. Still, it's important not to understate the value of a good
translation, which is why I'm... not going to mention recent efforts by "them"
in that field.
| Brunhilda's Outline |
| Dear Mr. Secret Agent Man, Somebody asked about Valkyrie Profile:
1) Great use of Norse mythology, which aids in creating an individual and unique
setting. As far as I can tell, it stretches a little, but otherwise is a very faithful
rendition to the ye olde tales of Odin, Ragnarok and Loki; its like a final kind of that
type of fantasy.
2) If you've recently gotten tired of wandering around a mysterious dungeon until your
hands melt off your controller, then you might find the 2D action elements of the areas in
this game to be quite minty fresh, but not quite the dew on the prism, know what I mean?
They're just enough to add some more amusement into an already amusing game.
3) A combo system that mimics Marvel vs. Capcom for crazziness. Its a bit shallow, but
loads of fun to mess around with. Plus, the many characters in the game are a breath of
fire to the air of RPGs. In fact, I would call this story one very interested in vagrants,
weaving many threads of mythology and fatalism.
4) A system of some non-linearity wherein you can choose which scenarios at which times
in history you want to participate in, with a rather nasty catch, so be careful.
Otherwise, it preserves a fairly accomplished story and maintains a nice, open slant of
gameplay. I got attached to character who reminded of Eve in the Bible, she was a bit
parasitic though and left the story too soon to develop much, like most do in this RPG.
5) If you hit the square button, you get the best and most flashy attacks.
Valkyrie Profile: its worth your time. Please be a nice person and donate to your
favorite charity, which is an ongoing saga of a rapidly closing frontier: 2D games. In
other words, if you're into mythology and 2D games, buy it, you'll like it as much as a
brave fencer.
-Link, who likes his chronological tables crossed. |
Yet another game I'd love to play but just don't have time for. Still, this may be the
best and most intriguing review I've seen for the game so far, so if any holes in my
quadruple overbooked schedule open up, I may give WD's latest opus a try.
| What you been doin', BioWare? |
| While reading through the day's news, I found this quote to be fairly
interesting: While no promised "next-generation console" was explicitly
specified in LucasArts' announcement, GameSpot quotes BioWare as saying that, in addition
to the PC, the RPG will "likely be developed for the Dreamcast, the PlayStation 2,
and the Mac" since the company is already familiar with development on those
platforms.
What soft of software has BioWare developed, or is developing, for the DC and the PS2
if they are familiar with the DevKits on these platforms? I really liked the bit of
Baldur's Gate that I had the chance to peruse. What, other than another StarWars license,
can we expect to see? Curiouser and curiouser...
~EidosWetsuit |
Dunno, but it's a well known fact that console games sell much better than PC games,
making crossover titles very attractive to traditional PC developers. At the same time,
many console games don't play well on systems with keyboards, and vice versa, which has
traditionally kept PC people on PCs. The success of System Shock 2 and Half-life on the
Dreamcast should prove enlightening as to what success a Star Wars RPG would have on the
PS2.
| Your non-hardcore allowance for the day |
| CJ, Wow, this is kind of like asking Jehovah's Witnesses not to talk
about God. Sure there's a whole world else to talk about, but...what's the point?
1) I'd buy Arc the Lad collection, even for $90. Though it should be noted that I'd
spent a good $10-$20 more for any game if it included bonuses and extra stuff. But, Chris,
what happened to the good ole' days when every SNES RPG came with free stuff like cool
posters? I have the FF3 and Chrono Trigger posters on my wall to this day.
2) Anything that has the Star Wars name on it and is not a movie, is doomed to fail.
George should stick with cinema, no?.
3) No one from the DQ camp has convinced me that it won't be a complete waste of my
time play DQ7. In fact, no one from that camp has convinced me that they are intelligent
gamers capable of making honest and rational decisions for themselves. When they can
successfully argue the merits of that game without profanity or insulting my personal
taste in RPGs, maybe I'll listen. But I'm not holding my breath.
4) Rhapsody will probably turn out to be the game that I buy 7 months from now for $20
and later wished that I got it sooner. Much like Suikoden, Ogre Battle, and Wild ARMS. Oh
well.
Considering my recent luck in your column, I'll probably be skipped over again by
someone who either has said the same thing in a more humorous manner, or by some nutcase
who you felt you should flame. Such is life I guess.
-Red Raven, still 7 RPGs away from being hardcore |
If you like posters, etc. you might want to take a look at Japanese soundtracks. Many
OSTs I've gotten have some great character artwork and interesting packaging, which almost
makes the huge prices I have to pay for the music worthwhile. And while it's true that few
recent Star Wars games have been worthwhile, that hasn't always been the case. Once upon a
time the X-Wing series was one of the coolest games out there, bar none, and that state of
grace could once more happen to LucasArts, or BioWare, as the case may be.
From what I've been hearing about Rhapsody, it does indeed seem to have the makings of
a cult sleeper hit, one that nobody's playing now but everybody will look fondly back on
in years to come. Who'd a thunk it?
| Don't think about elephants |
| Chris Don't mention the s-word. Sure. No prob. Easy.
...
Who am I kidding?! I can't write a single letter without mentioning *beep*!!
Oh no...not again...
-Gamer X "*entering nervous breakdown*" |
Now see what I've done? I've gone and destroyed Agent X's mind again. Sure he's nothing
more than the 53rd clone of the long-dead original, but do you know how much paperwork I
need to fill out to get a new one out of storage? Next time, we give thorough psych tests
to whoever serves as the base template, I'll tell you that right now.
| Murder Simulator 1.0 |
| How's this for a change of subject, and something to get a few panties in
a twist? This week, several respected health organizations issued statements that
suggested a link had been found between violent entertainment (movies, video games, etc.),
and anti-social
behavior .
Okay, as an older gamer I guess I'm exempt from this study. My
"impressionable" years were spent on the Atari console, and I'm at a loss to
remember one "violent" Atari game.
I have to admit that I sat down to play Resident Evil and took it back for a refund
after the first thirty minutes. Doom and Quake suffered similar fates. I needed a little
more meat to the story and a little less meat on the screen, so to speak. Now, I know
young people who play these games, and it's eerie to watch them with the blank face of a
Scientologist while they manuever a hand with a gun through rooms, but I've never known
any of them to be violent. At the same time, I've also known plenty of young people who
attend church every Sunday and aren't even allowed to watch "R" rated movies,
but still run around beating up "supposed" gays at school and shooting
defenseless birds out of trees.
So, I really don't know what to make of this report. There doesn't seem to be a
corporate payoff for this type of study. I'm not sure if the public cares as much as the
media claims it does. Who's winning and who's losing here? Is this another
blown-out-of-proportion, government-funded witchhunt, like the "war on drugs?"
And has anyone reading this ever gotten an uncontrollable urge to go out and shoot someone
after playing RE?
ImpermanentOne
The Casual Gamer (who did like Silent Hill and Parasite Eve, but hates anime with
gratuitous blood and bouncing breasts) |
It's a hard question for me to answer, at this age. On the one hand, I know that a few
short years ago I would have categorically rejected the idea that violence was harmful to
kids - I'd seen plenty of violence, and didn't feel it adversely effected me. All
censoring did was hold me back from the really good stuff in movies and television.
But on the other hand, I'm not that far from the age where I'd be producing rugrats of
my own, and I already feel uneasy about relatively young kids playing something like Fear
Effect. On a personal level, drawing the dividing line is fairly straightforward: there's
nothing in Xenogears I think really demands a Teen rating, but Silent Hill and Fear Effect
should probably be limited to age 16 or higher, and nobody really needs to see stuff like
Mortal Kombat. But my limits are totally subjective, and so are everybody else's.
In the end I hope the report merely serves to reinforce basic common sense - six year
olds don't need to be taken to see "Gladiator", while there's nothing wrong with
Coyote and Roadrunner cartoons, etc. But one way or another, it's not something I can take
a strong stand on at the moment.
| Grand Larceny: harder than you'd think |
| Heh, the BioWare Offices are about a block away from my house. I'm going
to break in and steal any early build of the StarWars RPG. Wait I didn't say that, you
head nothing, NOTHING! --
BeerGoggles_FromMARS
Daniel Kaszor |
I'm in a somewhat similar situation, in that my office is about two blocks away from
Metrowerks, makers of the PS2 developer kits. And yet, despite the highly motivating
probable presence of PS2s and other such goodies, all of my attempts to break in to
Metrowerks have consistently met with failure. If it's not the laser eye beams and
pressure sensitive floor tiles, it's the guard dogs and nerve gas. I just can't get a
break. And although BioWare's not liable to be as well guarded, I still doubt your plan
will be as easy to complete as you seem to believe, sorry.
Closing Comments:
Got some family in town tonight, so sorry if the column seems rushed. Send me whatever
you like for tomorrow, just remember to avoid mentioning "that company". Later.
-Chris Jones, rhombus free for one more day |
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