Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Today I made this white paper dream to cover the hole he left. Don't say we didn't warn you.

Yep, it's me, I'm back. And as my first official act upon my return, I'd like to give major props to AK, Ed, and Jeremy for covering me during my absence. They did a great job, and their efforts are much appreciated. Thanks much, amigos.

I've been wondering how much I should say about the reasons behind my hiatus, and in the end I've decided to go for full disclosure, if only in memoriam. See, my dad died last Saturday morning of leukemia. I loved him a lot, he was a great guy. I miss him hugely, and I'm far from being alone in this. If there's any consolation, it's that the end was relatively quick, peaceful, and painless, and that my family's holding up about as well as can be expected. And that's all I really want to say about that, because dwelling too much on things would just drive me nuts.

In more cheerful news, FFXI and the FF movie look really great, and I played a bit of Dewprism, er, Threads of Fate, last night. It's about as good as I would have hoped, and should tide me over until Chrono Cross quite well. And now it's time to dive into whatever AK left me with, so...

Onward.

It is a testament to the power of the DQ/FF dichotomy that a debate I sparked when I left is still smoldering two weeks later. On the one hand, it is hella impressive that DQ7 has had so many preorders, but on the other hand I gotta wonder how many of those were put in when DQ7 was first announced and looked really cutting edge.

Normally I'd give my stock reply that the journey is it's own reward - we argue things in this column less to change other people's minds, and more to have fun and look cool to other RPG freaks. But in this case I'm inclined to agree with the other Chris, that there's little to be gained from further debate until solid numbers are in. Both sides have made solid arguments, with lots of preorders vs. a strong ambivalence toward DQ among younger gamers in Japan. Which of these is really the more important factor can't be known until the Japanese (and certain lucky importers) play the game themselves. Signs look good for the game to finally be released in August (no, really!) so I hope to have a stake through the heart of this debate by September, one way or another.

As probably 90% of all readers are already aware, neither Mr. Griffith or Mr. Nyogtha are liable to really be the first RPG players in Saudi Arabia. Punk kids of all nations have been hauled out to SA by their engineer parents for decades, meaning that Americans have likely been playing games there since the very first Pong machines. And we're also making the unreasonable assumption that there are no game players among the Saudis themselves, which is fairly unlikely given the amount of money certain members of that kingdom have. (Yeah, I know there are complicating cultural issues as to what can and can't be shown in an Islamic country, but still, there's gotta be some sheik's kid who got around that.)

If we're going to be discussing such things, I'd like to hear some really interesting places - first person to RPG in Antarctica, or under water, or outer space. Hell, I want to hear about a real trailblazer - the first woman to play an RPG.

I'd like to go along with you, FFF, but I've become a bit jaded about the column business by this point. When I came in to this job, I considered myself pro-DQ and pro-Xenogears - I liked FF more, for the most part, but they were both great games. But as soon as I made a comment about DQ7 having a lot to live up to because it was so long in coming, or Xenogears not really being  the greatest plotline ever, I was labeled an opponent of both games.

But that's not to say I'm not partially to blame - I didn't throw the first punch, but damn if I won't throw the last. And so it goes, we gravitate toward conflict because it's enjoyable and interesting, in much the same way history tends to get defined by brief wars and not by long peace. I plan to buy and play DQ7 and FF9, and may actually enjoy the first more than the second, however unlikely that seems at the moment. But if we didn't obsess about games this website wouldn't exist, and if we didn't debate games this column wouldn't exist. My advice is to get used to the occasional jihad and go with the flow - I have.

I don't get it.

Oh wait... now I get it, but I think I was happier when I didn't.

Not only does that suck, but it's the same freakin' joke! I mean, come on, there's bad and there's just pathetic, folks!

Now this is a good bad joke - a lame pun that you immediately get if you're familiar with video games. I really don't want to see more of these, but it's better than people walking into things.

Arguably the original Crystalis was very close to Tyler's ideal future, and heck, just think how cool the last shot of Fight Club would have been for an intro to the game. But speaking for myself, I'm just as happy to be defined by my job, my khakis, what I have in my wallet, and in my bank. Dammit, I love the delusion that I am a unique and beautiful snowflake, and I'll fight to the death to defend it! So there.

As for VB, I've got way too much else to play to take a look, but given the time I'd say any Working Designs translation is worth at least a rental.

Closing Comments:

I was all set to talk about FF Movie or FF9 impressions, but after looking over the past few weeks of columns (mine included) it looks like things have been weighted rather heavily toward Square. And that in itself is an excellent debate topic, but for now I want to move away from Square entirely. So tell me this - pretend Square didn't exist for the year 2000, and none of your money went toward Chrono Cross, Vagrant Story, etc. What did you/would you buy? What have you enjoyed playing, and what would you be looking forward to? Let me know, and I'll talk to you tomorrow.

-Chris Jones, temporarily 100% Square free!