Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. ...try to take over the column. No, wait, I already control the column. Mission accomplished! Don't say we didn't warn you.

Strangely enough, I'm starting to think of buying another RPG, even though I've got more than enough to tide me over until Chrono Cross (Legend of Mana, Wild Arms 2, Threads of Fate out in a few weeks and even Front Mission 3 to return to). But Koudelka is starting to get some passable US reviews, and it's supposed to be relatively short. I'm also interested in seeing an RPG that's (kinda) set in the real world, and gothic is always good.

But for now, it's letter time.

Onward.

Before I get into this, I'd like to remind folks that I like Xenogears - I've said so since my first column. At the same time I don't think the plot is as brilliant as most give it credit for. It's very long, and very complicated, and touches on a ton of different ideas and beliefs, sure, but compared to most literary classics it lacks subtlety, coherency, and a clear voice.

I also don't think the game would be suitable for a class in the way you suggest. People tend to get very excited about the characters and ideas in a story, but the big reason classics like Great Expectations are taught has less to do with characters and ideas and more to do with the fact that they're good writing, or an early example of a particular kind of writing. Nothing William Shakespeare ever wrote was one tenth as grand in scope as any given Final Fantasy, but he's far more important because of how he tells his stories, not what he tells them about. Likewise film students study movies like Citizen Kane not because of the plot, but to take in the technical tricks the director uses to move the film along. I suppose if you squeezed Xenogears (or Star Wars, etc.) as hard as you could you might get enough philosophical content out of the work to make up a college class, but if you're interested in the actual ideas there are far better ways to go about it.

However, I do think Xenogears would be great material for an entirely different course - one on video games as video games. We're not really at a level where the medium warrants such attention yet, but someday everybody will have to admit that interactive entertainment is just as legitimate a medium as books or film, not just a few relative fanatics. Like it or hate it, Xenogears did some very innovative things and deserves recognition as such, and because of that I think someday people will study it in much the same way students today look at the original Great Train Robbery movie.

Yep, someday your grandkids will go to school and write dissertations on the infamous second disk, and the meaning of the spotlight and chair therein. (And it'll probably seem as dull to them as The Scarlet Letter seems to you.) But in the meantime, you still have to play games in your free time, sorry.

I really don't get you people. Such crude physical tortures are a complete anachronism in today's society, and you should be ashamed of even thinking about such things.

Besides, everyone knows that psychological torture and pharmaceuticals are the way to go. A little caffeine in the water cooler combined with an atmosphere of fear and misinformation will keep your employees at each other's throats and away from yours, trust me.

Wow, this may be the first time ever an offhand, sarcastic comment I made caused a completely wrongheaded overreaction from a reader. If only Drew and Allan were still around, they'd be so proud of me! *sniff!*

Of course, if Drew or Allan were still around they'd probably come up with some wonderfully cutting remark to knock Ojuice back off his high horse. I, instead, will give a long, rambling, dead serious answer, mostly to disguise the fact that I'm not nearly as witty as either of those two masters. Bad news for those readers who like to see blood in the streets, but good news for you, Ojuice.

First off, as I've already said, that was a somewhat sarcastic remark. I've already said I like Xenogears, and I'm about as old school as you can get, at least in the sense of playing games for a long time. I'm certainly not intentionally pissing anyone off. I might say a viewpoint is illogical, or that a old school/2D/DQ fan has incorrect ideas, but I don't think I've ever seriously suggested suggested someone is stupid themselves.

In contrast, lots of people have said I was a complete idiot for my viewpoints, and that's totally cool. It's what I'm here for, and I think it's what people read the column for - to see some ideological conflict. I dish it out on "hardcore" gamers, I'll admit, but it can't be argued that my opponents haven't given as good as they got. I don't think I've ever questioned an old school game where I didn't post at least two or three long, detailed responses on why I had my head up my ass the following day.

I'm not like Microsoft - they're a big business, and want to sell to as many people as possible, which means offending as few people as possible. What you're left with is a bland, lowest common denominator mush. I don't want to send people running in droves from this column, but ratings aren't my primary goal. Quality is. And for me, quality means having distinct opinions, putting them out there, and letting people give me their feedback and their opinions in return. I'd like to think this column has a distinct edge, or flavor, and if you like it, great. If you don't, I'm sorry, but I'm not going to say nothing at all of substance to avoid offending you. That's all.

This "short summation of what is great about gaming" contest came out better than I thought it would, although in this case I do have to wonder how much power controlling non-existent characters in a virtual fantasy world really is.

This is so straightforward it's almost Zen. Good job, Aaron, although there's numerous things game characters have to go through that I'd rather not.

The most succinct of all, but it can't be applied to leveling up in NES RPGs.

Despite my comments yesterday, I'm pretty firmly on Clyde Hudman's side with these issues, which means I don't much agree with your letter.

What I can't argue with is that Square has made great efforts to be a much bigger player with the PSX than they were in the SNES days. FFVII was very much a game intended to be a mainstream success, and the plethora of games they released in other genres soon after gave the impression that they wanted to move beyond being "just" an RPG developer.

What I can argue with is your idea that Square did so out of pure lust for profit, and that their work has suffered because of it. Look at the games they produced - you might argue that Tobal No. 1 was a generic clone fighter, but Bushido Blade 1 and 2 were anything but. Some of these genre experiments were complete crap, it's true (Another Mind) but some were more than worthy of the Square name (Einhander). Many of these mutants also worked as prototypes for other, better games (Parasite Eve >> Vagrant Story).

But the big question is how Square's RPGs fared -  after all, you always had the option of simply not buying the spin-offs. And in this case, I think they did beautifully. I'd argue that the pre-rendered background/rendered characters combo had less to do with outright emulation of RE, and more to do with convergent evolution; such a system looks beautiful on the PSX, since the backgrounds that can be displayed far outshine what the machine can do on its own, and computation resources are freed to put more detail on the characters themselves.

I also reject the idea that the game was dumbed down for Americans, or that any uniquely Japanese features were lost. It's true that Cloud, Barrett, etc. are more universal than past heroes, but at the same time certain aspects of the game got much more Nipponese - the atmosphere of the Honeybee Inn and the Gold Saucer are hardly 100% USA. Cat Shih alone is probably enough to scare off more timid US gamers. And I'd chalk up Aeris and Tifa's appearance less to a calculated demographic push and more toward a basic rule of character design - make your characters distinct. Other companies also rely on such tricks. Game Arts can hardly be accused of selling out to international interests, but look at the sketches of Elena and Millenia from Grandia II and tell me they haven't got the virgin/whore thing down cold.

However, I can kinda see where you're coming from, even if I don't agree with you. Square is bigger and badder, no question, and with Play Online and the Final Fantasy movie they're only going to get moreso. I appreciate the move into more shades of gray sf worlds, but I can also see why someone would prefer Star Wars to Blade Runner. In the end, I'm just happy things are going my way for the moment, and I can only hope you can get some solace out of playing FF IV - VI over and over again, remembering the good old days.

Not only was this the first lefty letter I received, but it was very nearly the most number of lefties named. Other submissions mentioned Kain and Porom from FFIV, and even Megaman himself, but you and only you will receive this totally, completely, and 100% unique award, made especially for you and only you by Gamer X himself! Enjoy it in good health!

I completely forgot about the Wanzers, though, and who can forget Link? So I prevailed upon Gamer X to make me yet another award, which he assures me is also 100% unique and special, just for you! Congratulations!

By any reasonable standard, this man has just wiped out all prejudice against lefties in video games, so once more I've arranged for Gamer X to make one last, final award, entirely in your honor! You must be so proud, and gosh, I'm a little jealous myself.

Closing Comments:

Now it really is Friday, and I've been working on this column too long. AK makes his triumphant return tomorrow, so praise him for being the king among men that he is. See you Monday.

-Chris Jones, thinking what you're thinking