Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Let the ruler be a ruler and the subject a subject, let the father be a father and the son a son. Don't say we didn't warn you.

You've got a lot of reading ahead - a regular column and the long awaited Arch Nemesis Awards. Get to it.

Onward.

I guess I should have mentioned that if I actually had a GBC instead of a circa 1988 Game Boy Classic, I'd probably go ahead and buy MGS. And Link's Awakening. And, Square help me, Pokemon. So I'm not against MGS in general, it just doesn't work for me in particular. And maybe it doesn't work for you, but that's your choice that you should make for yourself.

I guess I'm just babbling here because I don't want MGS to sell poorly, despite the fact that I'm not gonna buy it, because I figure enough sales might speed up MGS2. Probably not, but a man can dream. About video games, if not about fing-longers.

Not much to say about this, because you're dead on. If you're someone who does a lot of traveling where you're just waiting around, maybe a handheld RPG makes sense. But taking the eye-strain issue into account, I'd probably rather read a book and save on the battery cost.

Which brings me to the topic of the GB Advance. From what I've heard, it's not liable to be a significant improvement on the GBC in visibility terms, but the cell phone aspect is intriguing in it's potential. If we ever get to a point where the display is properly sized (say a continuous 4 inches square, but collapsible) and cell phone plans are no longer tied to a specific minute count, handheld gaming could be much more interesting than it is now. Something like Ultima Online, a persistent environment where you can interact with others and pop in and out at will would be ideal, like a pocket universe you take out when the real one gets dull. But until that day comes, I probably won't be doing much gaming on the road.

I have one and a half words for you: Mod chip. The same chips that work on a US Playstation will apparently do the reverse trick on a Japanese Playstation, since it's the entire regional lockout routine that get circumvented. Though I haven't tried this myself, and you may run into future game compatibility with a modded console.

An alternate plan would be to just get a US Playstation imported into Japan. Presumably you could do this via the same channel that you got your US copy of VS from. The price differential between the game and the console isn't that great, all things considered, and with the strong translation work Square seems to have been doing as of late it's probably worth your while for upcoming games too.

I'll take a stab at it as a way of answering all the critics of my "menus suck" comment, although I admit I can't give you a direct control system with multiplayer support. Instead, what if we had a hybrid of party-based combat and real time strategy?

No, wait, hear me out. Consider any standard FF-style ATB setup. The game continues to move forward in time with enemies attacking as they're able and menus popping up every so often for the player to control his characters. But menus are a rather clumsy interface for a setup that has the potential to be much more fluid. Instead, consider what you could do if you could define a set pattern of AI-controlled behavior for the group, or for an individual member of the group, rather than a set of specific actions for each individual member. Somewhat like the behavior control grid in Seiken Densetsu 2 and 3, but more complicated and in real time.

Frex, let's say we have 3 characters. We can set a group behavior such as "ranged attacks, defensive attitude", where the characters would keep their distance and use long range attacks and weapons. You could then set the behavior of a specific character, a very quick one, to "hit and run" meaning (s)he'd get in close, attack, and dodge back out again. Or maybe you could take direct control of an individual character for a short time to cast a specific spell or use an item. All of this could be done via the controller by having types of behavior tied to specific buttons: X/O control desired range, L1/R1 control offensive/defensive tendencies. Depending on where the directional pad was pressed, you'd be giving commands to all your characters, or just one. You'd probably end up using the controller in much more of a "corded" way, like playing a musical instrument, instead of pressing individual buttons.

Is it different? Hell yes. Is it workable? Maybe not. But you don't know until you try, and right now, nobody's trying stuff like this. The point is, even if it failed spectacularly it's the kind of thing I'd like to see attempted, rather than the same old thing. Innovation is good, sez the computer engineer.

End of rant.

You're wrong, and you gave the counter example to disprove your point. Metroid II is far from being the only good small screen B&W game. Want more examples? FF Adventure (SD1), Link's Awakening, Faceball 2000, MGS, Pokemon, and Tetris. To say a 4-button system can't do any good game is to suggest the NES never did any good games, which is patently untrue.

Sorry, but even though I personally don't play the GB, I can't agree that it's not a great system.

Well yeah, if you did that lameass 2 thing anything would look gay. Sons of Liberty sounds pretty damn cool to me, especially if the game ends up questioning what fundamental liberties are/should be in the information age.

And I sure as hell do.

There's nothing that unique about 2, 4, or 5, and I already agreed that the battle systems are very similar. The weapons comparison is legit, I'll give you that. 

I guess the different cover art, different media formats, different display capabilities and different ratings just weren't enough of a tip-off, eh?

Closing Comments:

Ok, that's it for today. Hope you enjoyed the DA awards - you better have, they took me long enough to do.

For tomorrow, I gotta say I'm really interested in what people think of the console RPG/RTS hybrid. I think it's damn cool, but most people have given me wide-eyed looks of incomprehension when I mentioned it to them. I don't mind being thought of as nuts, but at least give me some reasons why this turkey won't fly. Or more handheld stuff is also good. Adios for now.

-Chris Jones, who finds Confucianism constraining to say the least