One must have a mind of winter - May 4, 2000 - Chris Jones
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of
the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. There
is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Rain good, sunlight bad.
Don't say we didn't warn you.
Again, not much to talk about up front today, except that for once the weekly Final Fantasy Movie trailers don't completely
suck. I understand that Square has to walk a fine line between showing people good stuff
and not giving away enough of the movie for people to piece the whole thing together in
QuickTime, but the offerings lately have been lame on all but the technical levels.
Hopefully it won't be too much longer before Square releases a full trailer, and then our
jaws can really hit the floor. And we've got some good Conker debate, so...
Onward.
| Tinky-Winky: Armed and Dangerous |
| Oh, I'm all for Conker's BFD. I don't want to see more than one game like
this, but I'd be quite happy to have just the one. I'm just totally overwhelmed by the
coolness of the fact that it's Rare doing this on the N64. That's like if the Teletubbies
shot up a McDonalds with fully automatic weapons. It just seems to me that if we as
gamers are going to be treated as if video games are a horrible, corrupting influences
eating away at the moral fibers of society, we might as well have one that actually is.
-AJ |
Can't argue too much with that logic. I'd rather the game be used to push the envelope
so other games don't have to.
CENSOR: "Hey, you can't have the hero curse when the villain kidnaps his wife,
burns his house, and shoots his dog!"
DEVELOPER: "But Conker did, so why can't we?"
CENSOR: "Umm... Ok, never mind."
It's simplistic, but maybe not entirely unreasonable.
| It's just what we needed... NOT! |
| Hey Chris. While Conker's BFD looks entertaining, I don't think it's
what the video game industry needs right now. I'm completely in favor of mature video
games, I just don't believe that Conker's BFD is the type of "mature" videogame
that this industry needs. To be mature does not mean to be senselessly vulgar and obsene.
I would prefer to see more games like Xenogears and MGS: games that aren't overly graphic,
but contain mature, sophisticated themes and ideas. If a game is violent, there should be
a reason behind it; Teresa's suggestion of a Stephen King adaptation is a good example of
this. I would love to see more dark, grotesque story lines in my videogames.
Unfortunately, Conker's BFD will not be sophisticated in the least; rather, it will
embody everything that Senator Lieberman and his followers despise in a videogame:
over-the-top violence, graphic language, and sexual innuendo, wrapped in a package that
clearly targets children. Unfortunately, titles such as Conker's BFD will feed the fire in
the fight against videogames, which will cause other developers to shy away from creating
mature games.
With that said, Conker's BFD really does look entertaining. If you approach it with the
right frame of mind, you should have a blast with it. I know I will. I completely support
any idea that breaks the mold; while shock value is getting old in other forms of
entertainment, it is relatively new in videogames. I just think that it reflects poorly on
the videogame industry as a whole . . . we all know how fucking sensitive people can be.
Jeff |
You know, I hadn't thought of it in those terms. It's relatively clear to me and anyone
else who's read up on it that BFD is NOT for children, but when it's just one game among
many at Toys R Us featuring a happy squirrel character on the package, is some clueless
parent going to be able to tell the difference? All we need is one innocent 6 year old
pointing to the screen and saying "Daddy, what's that red stuff coming out of kitty's
ears?" and the whole industry could be set back decades.
And it's not like it's all that uncommon for very dark stuff to be published, even
before Conker. Silent Hill and Galerians are both extremely dark and disturbing. The fact
that it is an exceedingly cute game might make it easier for characters in relatively
normal games to get away with more, but do we really need VIVI to talk like Kyle? Didn't
think so.
| Now for the opposing response |
| Hold up, are you serious about the M rated humor in the game? I saw
something like this in EGM awhile ago, but since it was the April issue, I figured it was
just an April Fool's joke. If all of this is true, how could you NOT get Conker's BFD?
(gotta love that name) |
Conker's Bad Fur Day being totally tasteless is in no way shape or form a joke. It's
all true, and I recommend downloading the trailer from one of the big console gaming sites
if you can spare the bandwidth. It's worth seeing, just as a curiosity.
As this letter proves, there's definitely a market out there for the game, despite any
harm it may ultimately cause to the industry. At the very least, I suspect a lot of
otherwise perfectly normal, rational people may wind up renting it to see what all the
fuss is about, myself included. Argue restraint all you like, but it's as nothing compared
to the force of the market.
| In other news |
| Chris Wow, Atlus is claiming Ogre Battle 64 is the "Biggest
Baddest RPG to ever hit the N64!" Well, to fullfill that mighty claim they might have
to go through the mighty...Quest 64! No, give up now Atlus, you can never back up your
claim!!
Stiffling laughter,
Justin Freeman |
Truly, no force on earth can combat the mighty Quest 64, the eternal benchmark of all
that is good and wonderful in an RPG. Atlus will, nay, must, fail in their attempt to
become the greatest N64 RPG, as their beautiful graphics, deep gameplay and strong
storyline will come to naught against... whatever the hell it is that Quest 64 does.
| It's a pain that lingers |
| I'm interested in hearing your opinions on WA2 -- most everyone I know
who's played it found it... well, crappy. =) Either way, I'd like to thank you for not
lobotomising my letter yesterday. Now, for something completely different: |
You're never gonna let me live down cutting you that one time, are you?
| 1) Conker's BFD isn't quite my cup of tea, but if it can get people to have greater
faith in the Big N, more power to 'em. Vulgarity for the sake of being crude or getting an
M rating is pathetic, and an insult not only to the gaming industry, but to the consumers.
But then again, it seems to be what consumers want. Just like Mortal Kombat was bloody for
the sake of being bloody -- consumers lapped it up, the first few years. If a couple snide
remarks were made in, say, MGS2, I don't think I'd mind, as long as the heart of the game
is where it counts: gameplay. 2) I don't feel many, if any, books I've read would make
good video games (and I seem to be about as widely read as you, since every book (bar one
or two) that's been mentioned in the DA column I have read). Sure, you could use the
setting, or maybe even a few elements from the books (witness Betrayal at Krondor, one of
the best PC games of all time, and its basis in Raymond Fiest's Krondor books), but it's
impossible to play the book. Heck, it's hard enough to play a movie, and those are much
closer to games (the best live-action-movie-to-game conversion I've seen is probably
Batman Returns by Konami; anime is another matter). It works both ways. Look at how poorly
movies based on games turn out -- the only decent ones were the Mortal Kombat movies, and
those strayed far from the game. The only real way to capture the spirit of a book or
movie in a game would be to make it extremely non-interactive, and hence not a very good
game. I'd like to see someone draw up a decent plan for an entire game based on a movie or
book that tells the same story and inspires the same feelings. I'll eat my words if
someone does.
3) I in no way meant to imply that the Pokémon games are the best there is. (They are
quite good games, though.) Nor was I saying that FFVII sucked -- I truly enjoyed it
(frankly, I liked it better than any other Final Fantasy, apart from FFIV and possibly
FFVI). It's just that I've seen a boatload of letters written in to US various gaming mags
wherein the writer states that RPGs should have more FMV and either get rid of battles
entirely, or have only a boss battle at the end of the game. And unfortunately, the
editors tend to agree (PSM). On the other hand, I stand by my claim that Japanese gamers
do tend to have better taste in games than their US compatriots. In the US, a large
portion of game sales are made up for by sports games. Look at virtually any month's TRST
or EB sales and you'll see what type of games are bought most in the US. More likely than
not, you'll see a racing game, a polygonal fighting game, a wrestling game, a Lara Croft
game, and maybe a big name RPG. Sure, the Japanese have overlooked some great games, too,
but overall, I'd rather look at Japanese sales data than US data when drawing conclusions
about what games deserve respect.
4) Screw your word limit.
Now that I've insulted everyone, I feel it's time for me to wrap up this letter.
--magius
Imad Hussain
PS I'm not too worried about eating my words. A) I don't think I'll have to, and B) I
don't mind the taste of paper or laser-jet ink. |
I printed your freaking long letter, magius, but this is the last time. I owe you
nothing no more. And everybody else, keep in mind that the cap is still in effect, mostly.
There were a couple of letters I would have liked to print if not for the fact that they
broke the 700 mark - you know who you are.
Moving through the rest of your points: BFD may be a pathetic ploy for sales, but as
you say, sales are the name of the game for companies. I'd love to see a book-into-game,
and don't think there's any reason why it can't successfully happen, but nobody's done it
so far. (Maybe Parasite Eve, but I haven't read the original Japanese novel.)
The ironic thing is, Square seems to be following the advice of dumbass Americans.
Chrono Cross has no unavoidable battles except for bosses, IIRC, and with Diablos you
could avoid most of the battles in FF8. I'd be surprised if this wasn't also the case for
FF9. Another wild thought: perhaps neither Japanese nor American sales numbers are valid
for determining good games. Americans like sports games, but Americans also like 'N Sync,
if you believe sales numbers. In both cases there's a solid minority who have actual
taste. And according to Japanese sales figures, the original Saga Frontier was very
popular, but if this was actually the case, why did Square do a total redesign for SF2?
| Everybody wants to take me down |
| Dammit. I'm only 14 and already I'm supposed to have some kinda
world-spanning organization? This sucks. Well, I DO have superpowers, kinda. For one
thing, I am a certified genius (IQ 169). That's enough to hatch someth ing diabolical. Oh,
here's something for you: I don't care about DQ. Not at all. Is THAT evil enough for you?
Come on, give me another chance. Please? Jon |
The competition for Arch Nemesis has gotten quite fierce, I got a ton of letters on the
subject. And since I can't possibly print them all, I may have to do the sane thing and
have some sort of contest.
How's this: if I'm left without enough mail to do a reasonable column in the future,
I'll pull out all the mail I've received this week regarding the position and post it, no
commentary. People can then send in email voting for their favorite evil wannabe, at which
point he or she will receive the title. It's democratic, and fair, since an Arch Nemesis
wouldn't menace just me but the entire RPG community. (Well, at least as far as
threatening Chrono Cross.) More on this idea later.
| They'll get tired of fart jokes eventually |
| My opinion on Conker's BFD? So glad you asked... I think this is
Rare's way of lashing out at the media and public for making fun of their overly
"cute" history of games. But the things that our society considers "mature
content" are actually the most childish, so I would expect the game to appeal to
snickering 5th graders who laugh for 2 hours straight if someone says
"testicles."
Can you tell I won't be buying the game? I am not appealed to by such simplistic
attempts at faux-homour, I find it banal and unoriginal. How long is our society going to
laugh at things perceived as "naughty" before they realize how stale it is? Do
you REALLY think it's that funny or is it just a weak attempt at "rebelling against
the norm"?
I think we all know the answer... |
There might be something to your statement that Rare's trying to break out of their
"cute" image, though there's nothing "cute" about Goldeneye or Perfect
Dark.
I personally don't find the humor in BFD that interesting, but in the context of a
platformer it could be worth seeing at least once. And there's nothing wrong with
rebelling against the norm just for the hell of it - I don't particularly care for a lot
of the original punk rock, but at least it was better than disco. "A little
revolution now and then is a good thing", etc.
| Mystery man |
| Chris, What do you look like? Give us a picture or something?? |
I'm tempted, but between not having a scanner or a recent picture and me wanting to
work off several months of inactivity on my rowing machine, I'm gonna pass for now. In the
meantime, you can get a rough idea of what I look like from my dossier - I kinda look like the guy
in the picture...
Kinda, sorta...
Ok, not at all.
Maybe.
| People have defended 7th Saga, why not
Evermore? |
| Ok, after reading that letter in yesterdays column by the
"Anti-Import Fiend" essentially bashing SOE, I've finally been pushed far
enough. First of all let me say this: do I think SOE is the best game ever? No. But, the
game had some really fun and original things (like that trading at the market). More
importantly to me, no game has ever really evoked more emotions from me. When you're in
that pirate ship town and wandering around outside it, it really made me feel lonely. When
you're in the Greek town, couldn't you just feel how evil it was? And the two castles
area, that really freaked me out, how weird it was. I've heard a lot of people also
complaining how hard the dungeons were, but I honestly never had much of a hard time,
people are just used to cake dungeons. And finally (and most importantly) this was the
*first* game by Square USA. I mean, the game certainly needed improvements, but who knows
what they could have done given more time. If you want an incredibly hard game with a
non-existant storyline try playing FF1, but look a few games down the line and you can see
how they evolved so quickly. As, I said before I'm not trying to make it seem like it's
the best game ever made, but I think people just have been jumping on the bandwagon for so
long about it that many people bash it now who never have even played it. You also
mentioned in yesterdays column about FF7 being an experiment and should get credit for it
whether one likes it or not. I think SOE deserves just as much credit in that regards. Mike
|
Evermore was not a bad game, but given that it came from Square (Square USA, but still
Square) and given that it was a replacement for Seiken Densetsu 3, it had a lot to prove.
On its own merits it succeeded, but it didn't go far enough to meeting expectations. Since
it felt a lot like Secret of Mana, I was expecting a similar feel to the plot, but didn't
get it. The alchemy system was very ambitious, but also fell short. For every good idea
the game had, it didn't execute something that we were conditioned to see from Japanese
RPGs.
That said, I do like the fact that it was done by an American company, and as such
seemed a little more straightforward than a lot of Japanese games. I think Square USA
probably could have developed into something worthwhile, given the chance, but that was
not to be. Bummer.
| Infinitely thick book |
| Sorry, but Pynchon references are way cooler than Stephen King
references. Hell, even H.P. Lovecraft references are cooler than Stephen King references.
The jury is still out on David Foster Wallace references. I'm inclined to say no. John
Ford |
If there was balance in the universe, for every Conker's BFD we'd get a video game
translation of Gravity's Rainbow.
No, I have no idea how that would work, I just wanted to boggle your mind with the
possibility.
Closing Comments:
Tomorrow is Friday, which is good. I'm gonna throw open the floor to discussion about
whatever you like, so make the most of it. Later.
-Chris Jones, about to eat a veggie sub |
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