E3 Awards 2000

Another year, another week of hedonism

    Welcome to the GIA's E3 Awards 2000, our semi-serious take on the highlights and lowlights of gaming's annual convention. These awards are drawn from a consensus of attending staff members, individual experiences at the show, and suggestions from the little voices inside our heads. No tacky statues or five-hour ceremonies were involved in the bestowing of these awards, so relax and enjoy the GIA's take on our industry's three-day lovefest.

    Game of Show - Metal Gear Solid 2 - On his way back from the Nintendo trade show on Wednesday afternoon, Ed McGlothlin received a hysterical phone call from one Andrew Vestal. "Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod," mumbled Vestal, who had just attended the unveiling of Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty, and his sentiments were shared by a large portion of the gaming world over the next few days. The game may not be out for another year yet, but Konami's video for MGS2 generated more discussion and more impressed showgoers than any other display at E3. Shown every hour on the hour at Konami's booth, most passerbys stopped and joined the crowd which waited to see the video, often watching it three or four times. Or, in Nich's case, eight times. The PS2 may finally have a killer app after all, albeit one scheduled for fall 2001.

    Playable Games of Show - tie: Samba de Amigo and The Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask - Sega of America's decision to bring Samba de Amigo to the states looked better and better with each shake of the maracas by an enthralled E3 player. The kiosk was constantly surrounded by both onlookers and eager participants, while an import version of the game had a strong hold over the GIA's hotel room. Congrats to SOA for taking a chance by pushing a relatively pricey niche title.

    Similar kudos are in order to NCL, Nintendo's legendary Japanese development group, for stretching the boundries of the vaunted Zelda series and producing a same-engine sequel truly worthy of attention. Link takes a break from the world of Princess Zelda and Ganon to explore a bizzaro version of Hyrule, one where an evil moon is set to crash into the world in a mere 72 hours. After recovering his horse Epona and the Ocarina of Time, Link can reset those 72 hours anytime he chooses, taking his major items back with him. The same awe-spiring play control and immersive world design are at work again, along with a mask system and overall darker tone than will surprise some longtime Zelda fans.

    Best Line-ups of Show - Sega, Nintendo, Square - All three companies came to E3 with powerhouse line-ups in their strongest genres. Sega's quirky titles included Samba de Amigo, Jet Grind Radio, and Space Channel 5, along with RPGs such as Shen Mue, Phantasy Star Online, and Eternal Arcadia. Nintendo has an epic finale set for the N64 with Eternal Darkness, Zelda: Majora's Mask, and Dinosaur Planet, along with non-adventures such as Perfect Dark, Banjo-Tooie, and the always-entertaining Conker's Bad Fur Day. Square boasted a budget-busting groups of games that included Chrono Cross, Threads of Fate (formerly Dewprism), Legend of Mana, Vagrant Story, Parasite Eve 2, and a brief snippet of Final Fantasy IX.

    Worst Line-up of Show - Sony - Gracing Sony's group of games with the term "line-up" is a bit forgiving - Crash Bash (Mario Party), Grind Session (Tony Hawk), and Spyro 3 (Spyro 2) couldn't overshadow the lack of killer PS2 games. The PS2 line-up largely amounted to an arrow pointing at EA's booth or Konami's MGS2 video.

    Best Video Presentation - Konami - On top of Metal Gear Solid 2, Konami had interesting videos for Z.O.E and Shadows of Destiny. Even so, it was slightly disappointing that Konami's most promising games were largely video only.

    Worst Video Presentation - Sony - Ten minutes of dry ice and flashing lights doth not an interesting video make.

    Honorable mention - Square's PlayOnline - NOTE TO SELF: Never hire three nameless low budget actors to ham their way through a horrid promotional video for my company's wide-ranging and ambitious online gaming plan.

    Best Free Food - Sony - A very nice spread for their Wednesday press conference.

    Worst Free Food - Daily Radar - Hermetically sealed corn on the cob. Mmm, mmm, stupid.

    Rising Star Award - Ulala - She's the brand new star of a very cool game and represents an evolution from the pandering days of the Lara Croft-as-female-hero.

    Honorable mention - Conker - The first cute and cuddly character to come from Nintendo who isn't very cute and cuddly. Stogie in mouth and machine gun in hand, he'll be blasting his way through the minds of American gamers come this fall armed not only with weaponry, but with a clever and vulgar variety of Monty Python-ish humor as well.

    Falling Star Award - Lara Croft - This year's Lara had no game and an apathetic 16 year-old portraying her on stage. So apathetic, in fact, that fans began requesting pictures with Eidos models who actually smiled.

    Honorable mention - Crash - After making Crash Team Racing, developer Naughty Dog announced they were giving up the rights to their best-known character. Judging from the empty kiosks of Crash's new Mario Party clone at this year's show, it looks like Naughty Dog ditched this mascot at just the right time.

    Best Swag of Show (large category) - PlayStation 2 backpacks - Not only are they made from high-quality material, but they also included a pocket for a water bottle, plus a t-shirt and hat inside. Swank!

    Honorable mention - Nintendo satchels/Atlus binders - Nintendo's satchels had a new pocket everytime one looked at them, and the Atlus binders were close enough to leather to fool our Canadian correspondent.

    Best Swag (small category) - Inflatable Morolians - Space Channel 5's goofy race of aliens make for great pool toys and office companions.

    Honorable mentions - PlayStation 2 notebooks, MGS2 paperweights, Alone in the Dark Mini-MagLites - Something shiny, something classy, and something clever.

    Worst Swag - Pokémon Flip Cards - I don't want real Pokémon cards that I can sell for a fortune on eBay, I want useless flip cards that show me a different Pokémarketing slogan on each side!

    Honorable mention - Express.com twisty thingies - Not unlike most of the show's PS2 games, these were fun for about 15 seconds, then you wondered what person actually thought they were a good idea.

    Best Non-human Character Costume - The Dancing Morolian - Part of Space Channel 5's awesome stage revue, this little grey wonder showed that even an alien can get down with the best of them.

    Honorable mentions - Mocchi and Suezo - Monster Rancher's most notable characters looked appropriately adorable/creepy.

    Worst Non-human Character Costume - Borgan - A strange villian from Lunar 2 made for an even stranger looking costume. No, we won't "stroke all 3 of his chins."

    Best T-shirt of Show - Eternal Darkness - Two understated designs and two very cool logos made for a shirt so nice that it impressed the entire graphic design class of our photographer.

    Honorable mention - Dead or Alive 2 - Sure, the black shirt had a nice shot of a CG fighter's eyes, but the grey one had the babes.

    Worst T-shirt of Show - nVidia - Two words: bright orange.

    Best Celebrity Appearance - Jay Leno - Jay was wandering around the show floor without so much as a single member of any entourage or a meddling press agent, and happily gave autographs.

    Honorable mention - Heather Kozar - Playboy's 1999 Playmate of the Year may not have been around G.O.D.'s parking lot for long, but she was even better looking than in print while she was there.

    Worst Celebrity Appearance - Bruce Cambpell (but we blame THQ) - Our legendary cult hero was surrounded by so many bodyguards that you weren't even allowed to stop and look at him.

    Best Special Presentation - Space Channel 5 dancers - They earned their own photo gallery. What more can we say?

    Worst Special Presentation - The new Lara Croft - Underage, aloof, and boring.

    Special Presentation that generated the most apathy - X-box - Butterflies? Butterflies?

    Best Sequels - Legend of Zelda: Majora's Mask, Chrono Cross, Fear Effect 2 - New twists for an old series, a long awaited RPG follow-up, and a developer that actually listened to the criticism leveled at the first title.

    Worst Sequel - Soul Reaver "II" - All the things accidentally left on the first game's disc, plus some block puzzles replaced with other objects that must be pushed and pulled. Wheeee.

    Best Game Title - Sega GT Homolagtion Special, Z.O.E - Who needs localizers that leave their house occasionally or acronyms with all their periods?

    Worst Game Title - Homo Pocket, Gorkamorka - They just had to pick that part of the title for the VMU game... and what the hell is a Gorkamorka?

    Most Wrongly Ignored Game - Evergrace - Could the PS2 have a decent RPG coming this year? At launch, no less?

    Most Appropriately Ignored Game - Crash Bash, Sonic Shuffle - The only way these games could have been less original is to have just kept the Mario Bros. characters.

    Lastly, the GIA would like to present two very special awards to two very special displays:

    Lamest New Slogan - "Imagine gives you Gen I Joe, other sites give you Jack" - Imagine Media decides that three stupid puns combined into truly moronic one sentence and a guy sitting in a plastic cube are the perfect symbols of our generation.

    Best Booth Designed After a Snack Food - Square - This is how Cloud eats a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup.

    It was another banner year for the gaming industry and another exciting E3 for gamers interested in games named "eternal." We at the GIA hope everyone enjoyed the awards and will take a gander at our extensive E3 photo album as well, where many of the above award pictures came from. After all, we may not be the Academy, but at least we spare you the teary acceptance speeches and the banal fashion commentary. Until next year...