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Since everyone else is coming up with so much stupid crap that is supposedly "confirmed", I just thought I'd confirm some stuff myself:

• Squall's name will actually be translated as "Bob".
• The reason Squall is cold and careless is because, contrary to popular belief, the characters from FFVII will appear, and in fact - Squall was raised by Cloud! Yes, Cloud raised him from infancy after finding him by the side of the road, and also taught him to use a sword.
• Laguna is a man, who not only crossdresses, but is a flaming homosexual who can't go 5 minutes without hitting on Squall! Ordinarily this would be a little disconcerting to Squall, considering the 10 year age difference, but since Squall is cold and careless, he doesn't care. Also, Laguna leads a bizarre double life as a transvestite rock star, and in battle transforms into a woman wearing a black leather bikini.
• At the end of the first disc, Aeris is revived. Shortly thereafter, General Leo is also, but this will probably only be in the Japanese version, because of the X-rated FMV that follows.
• The "mysterious female character" seen in the screenshots is named Cid, and she's a mechanic. Other supporting characters include a gold chocobo and Hank the angry drunken dwarf.
  (Okay, this was later proved to be false - the female's name is Rinoa. The gold chocobo is the mechanic named Cid.)
• The moon that escaped at the end of FF2/4j plays a large part in the plot, because this game's "evil empire" is that colony of Humingways. They were really ticked off when their moon started flying off into deep space, so they landed on the world of FF8 and conquered it. (Their theme music is... well, you've heard it.)
• Nintendo has a shot at releasing the game as well as Sony, because they soon will be releasing a new addon for the N64 called the 44DD, which is an advanced system which stores highly condensed data in microscopic compartments of cough syrup. Works surprisingly well.
• The three midis currently being passed around on the net were indeed composed by Nobuo Uematsu for FF8, but they will be the only tracks he will write for it. The rest of the soundtrack will be done by the Spice Girls and/or Trent Reznor.
• Zell is a junkie from the inner city, who mistakenly hooks up with Squall when he's stoned and mistakes him for his "connection". Vicks and Wedge make an appearance as Zell's jive-talking, sentient shoes after a particularly bad trip.
• Moogles will not have a much bigger part to play in FF8 than they did in FF7. The only moogle in this game will be the chef at Squall's favorite restaurant, named Kuposup. He is said to be a big, burly sort of moogle who gets involved with the plot briefly when the restaurant is firebombed by the Humingways, in their attempt to destroy the new trend of cameo appearances in video games. (Cecil appears as a waitress, you see.)
• Spoiler alert! Special correspondent Jeremy Parish has given me some information on the final boss! In an exclusive ICQ chat, he gave me the following information (direct quotes!):
  "Everyone knows that Squal and Seifer were former lovers, right? And that Seifer's riding crop caused Squall's scar. Well, Seifer gets upset when he see Squall holding Rinoa in the logo... And goes out seeking revenge. He acquires Jealous Heart Materia and summons the power of Bitterness... TO come destroy the planet. And to show Squall not to fool around on him! So Squall and co. chase him around the planet... Meanwhile, Seifer uncovers the Ancient Book of Amazingly Powerful Magic. And uses it to pump up his own power. He becomes Amazingly Powerful. Anyway, Safer Seifer is Seifer's third form. He looks like a big angel with a white trenchcoat. And his theme music is the William Tell Overture. With lyrics from "Sound of Music." Yeah... he has a powerful spell, Chevy Nova. It causes a car to smash into the party. He can also summon Morley Safer. It's the Safer Seifer Safer combo!"

This snapshot was taken by Fuzzydevil, and shows something rather surprising...

Sephiroth in FF6!

Wow, and from the looks of that menu, he's as powerful as ever... although I guess killing cute little (evil and vicious) bunny rabbits isn't quite as good a show of his skill as that dragon in Nibelheim. Maybe their ears remind him of Aeris's hair...? ;)

After the last Sephiroth sighting, as mentioned above,Fuzzydevil spotted him again, in another unusual location!

Sephiroth in FF4!

It appears he's working his way back through the series, but for what sinister purpose? And what are Tellah and Yang doing fighting at his side? TNC and special correspondant Fuzzydevil will keep you informed on this unusual story as it unfolds...

This was originally a joke message I posted on the RPGamer Final Fantasy Series message board, but word of it spread fast, and people seem to find it funny, soooo..

Okay, remember that wonderful thread awhile back in which Beaux accused us all of having been brainwashed by FFVII's good graphics? Well perhaps he'd like this better - FFVII for the Atari 2600! No FMV to wipe your mind clean, just good old fashioned blocky sprites!

This game is, like all other Atari games nowadays, only sold at garage sales and they're asking a retail price of $5. Slightly pricier than most Atari games, but this is because it couldn't all fit on one cartridge. Instead, it takes up roughly 200.

Wanna see more? A video capture translated to animated gif format, of one of the most dramatic moments in the game, is in the link below.

To get the "Knits of the Round" summon materia, follow these steps:

When you go to the Temple of the Ancients, right after you shrink the Temple and Sephiroth makes Cloud freak out and split into two (remember, one Cloud runs really slowly to Sephiroth, and the other "kid" Cloud can be controlled by you), make the "kid" Cloud wander down to the bottom edge of the screen. (After all, the other Cloud gives Seph the Black Materia no matter what you do.) Near the right-hand corner, you can stop and pick something up from the ground - it's 'Katnipu' (really 'Catnip' but the translators messed up).
Then, once that scene's over and you're supposed to go to the Forgotten City, instead go to Wu-tai, and go into the house with all the cats. They'll start running up to Cloud, and he'll drop the 'Katnipu' for them. While they're all occupied, you can walk to the back of the room, and you'll find a 'Ball of Yarn'.
Continue on with the game until you get to Icicle Inn. If either Tifa or Yuffie are in your party, a woman in the town comments that they must be freezing, and they could use a knitted sweater to keep themselves warm. Seeing that you have the 'Ball of Yarn', she gives you 'Knitting Needles'. (Note: If Yuffie is in the party, she throws a fit about this, saying knitting sweaters is for grandmothers and the like. It's quite funny. ^_^)
After that, continue on with the game as normal until Disc 3. At that point, if you return to Kalm and go to the inn, you'll find Elmyra and Marlene in one of the rooms, if you have Barret in your party. Elmyra gives him a lecture on what a lousy parent he's being, and complains that Marlene doesn't even have a good warm sweater to wear, and she'd knit her one herself if she still had her knitting supplies. Barret gives her the 'Ball of Yarn' and 'Knitting Needles', and tells her to knit fast then, before Meteor falls. After that, he apologizes for his rudeness, and turns to leave after saying goodbye to Marlene. Elmyra stops him and says that Aeris's real mother had another Materia on her necklace back when she found Aeris at the train station, and maybe it would help him. So she gives you the 'Knits of the Round' Materia.

Now, you may wonder what does this summon look like? Well, one after another, four gray-haired grannies with their hair done up in buns appear with knitting needles, circling the targeted enemy. (Yes, it only works on a single enemy - just as well, since you get it so close to the last boss...) After they've all appeared, they start working their needles frantically, until they're little more than blurs. From each of the four sets of whirling needles, a different color streams towards the enemy - pink, yellow, pale blue, and grey - and wraps them in an interwoven cocoon. The effect it has is basically just like a 'Stop' spell, but the cool thing is, it even works on Safer Sephiroth! So it's definitely worth getting.

...And if you believed that, then I got a bridge north of Coneria you might be interested in...

The other day on those infamous message boards, someone posted a message commenting that in addition to the commonly seen Aeris and Tifa dates, the infamous Yuffie date, and the incredibly hard to get Barret date-which-wasn't-quite-a-date, Cloud should have been able to date Sephiroth at the Gold Saucer. Obviously a comment made in jest, right?

Wrong! After doing a little digging around, I determined that it is in fact possible to date Sephiroth! It's nearly impossible, but if you do everything exactly right...

First you have to be as mean as possible to all the females in the party, and never use them at all. Then, you have to use exactly 11 Potions on Cloud during the course of the game - no more, no less. (Sources say this is possibly because Sephiroth is in the 11th character position. And so, for the same reason...) You also have to save at the Save Point at the Gold Saucer when your timer says 11:11:11 exactly. You'll know if you're on the right track, because when you fight in the battle where you're "entertaining" Dio, the 8th enemy will be a creature that looks like a white version of Ultimate Weapon, called Ancient Weapon. He's not all that hard, since it's early in the game yet, but he should put up a good fight. This is what they call foreshadowing.

Obviously, this is all kinda difficult. So you don't go through hours and hours of tearing your hair out just to see this sequence, I've transcribed the sequence of events. Click here to view, unless the idea of homosexuality offends you.

Seriously, this is really cool! Try it yourself! It's not a joke!

DISCLAIMER: This is a joke. My name is not Ben Lansing. And by the way, if homosexuality offends you, well... as Mukki might say - "Lighten up, bubby!"

This is one of those things I just had to do. Since Microsoft's pretty much taken over the market, and I'm more or less forced into using stupid lousy glitch-ridden Win95 if I want to use any modern software... by having this wallpaper, I feel just a little better. ^_~

Here's another, which I made in honor of FFVII PC and Windows 98 coming out on the same day... It's no coincidence! Microsoft is Shinra! So I'm only exposing the truth! (Just like my friend, Agent Fox Mulder...) This makes a great logo.sys, if you know how to do that...

Hah! Caught in the act, I now have more proof that Shinra and Microsoft are one and the same! This particular unflattering comparison was brought on by Win95's stubborn refusal to work properly without a mouse. You want everyone to run their system just how you think a system should be run, don't you, Bill? Or should I say... RUFUS? Well, in the immortal words of Crow T. Robot... BITE ME! I want my DR-DOS back!

Oh yeah... here's a good, annoying one you can use as a tile, too. ^_~ This one was small enough to have in bmp format, click to download.