THE SEPHIROTH DATE

(Scene opens with Cloud standing at the window watching the storm from his room at the Ghost Hotel.)

Cloud: It rained like this... the night...

(The screen flashes white suddenly, and when the scene is restored, Sephiroth is standing in the middle of the room.)

Sephiroth: The night we fought together, for what would be the last time...

(Cloud turns around quickly, and takes a step back.)

Cloud: What?! What are you doing here?

Sephiroth: It brings back memories, does it not?

(Cloud makes an angry gesture.)

Cloud: The past is dead, Sephiroth! You can't come barging into my room after all these years as though nothing's changed. What you did in Nibelheim --

(Suddenly Cloud clutches his head as a high-pitched noise is heard.)

Sephiroth: Whatever do you mean, Cloud?

(The screen flashes white again)

Cloud: What... did you do...?

(Sephiroth takes a few steps closer to him.)

Sephiroth: Are you feeling ill?

Cloud: ....

"No."

(Cloud shakes his head and relaxes.)

Cloud: No. Just confused. Sephiroth, why has it been so long, since we've seen each other?

(Sephiroth turns away and chuckles to himself.)

Sephiroth: I was wondering the same.

Cloud: Well...

(Cloud scratches his head.)

Cloud: Since you're here again, why don't we spend some time together? For old time's sake.

Sephiroth: That's why I came.

Cloud: You mean... you... still care?

(Sephiroth bows his head.)

Sephiroth: ......

Cloud: Sephiroth... you never would tell me...

Sephiroth: ...Why don't we go somewhere and talk?

(Cloud nods.)

Cloud: Yes, let's.

(They go to the Station Square, and are greeted by a man.)

Man: Tonight's Enchantment Night! All the attractions are free. How 'bout it you two? There's going to be an entertaining show in Event Square!

(Cloud and Sephiroth glance at each other.)

Sephiroth: You seem so tense around me. Not like before.

Cloud: I'm sorry... I don't know why, but I feel like something's wrong.

Sephiroth: Let's go to the show. Maybe it will help you to relax.

Cloud: Thank you, Sephiroth.

(He reaches his hand out cautiously towards Sephiroth, who takes it. The two walk hand in hand to the Event Square, and another man greets them at the door.)

Man: Congratulations!! You are our 100th couple today! You two will be the leads in...

(The man takes another look and jumps in surprise.)

Man: Err... sorry, my mistake.

(Sephiroth steps up to him menacingly.)

Sephiroth: What?

Man: I, er, thought you two were, uhm, a couple.

Sephiroth: So what if we are?

Cloud: !!

(Sephiroth turns to him.)

Sephiroth: What is it?

Cloud: Oh, it's... nothing. Just nice to hear you say...

(The man looks back and forth at the two of them.)

Man: Ummm... you two are...?!

Cloud: Yes!

Man: Aha, I s-see... well, then, it doesn't matter. You two can't be the leads in tonight's program, because we need a princess.

(Sephiroth looks Cloud up and down.)

Sephiroth: Is there a costumer available?

Man: Yes... why?

(Cloud puts his head in his hands, tapping his foot.)

Cloud: (Oh no... here we go again.)

Sephiroth: He can't be a princess in that outfit, can he?

Man: Oh my, you can't mean...

(A group of spandex-clad men enter.)

Mukki: Hey, stop pestering bubby!

Cloud: (This can't be happening....)

Mukki: Do you have a problem with masculinity, sir?

Man: Er, uh, no...

(Cloud grabs Sephiroth's arm and pulls him towards the stage.)

Cloud: Fine, I'll wear a dress. Again. Just get me away from that freak.

(The scene switches to the stage.)

Narrator: Long, long ago... An evil shadow appeared over the peaceful kingdom of Galdia... Princess Rosa was just kidnapped by the Evil Dragon King, Valvados. What will become of her? Just then, the legendary hero, Alfred, appears!!

(Sephiroth strides out onto the stage confidently. A knight dances out next to him.)

Knight: Oh... You must be the legendary hero... Alfred!

Sephiroth: No, I'm --

Knight: pssst, psst... (Stick to the story.)

Sephiroth: Ah yes. Of course.

(Sephiroth turns to the audience.)

Sephiroth: Yes, it is I - the legendary Alfred.

Knight: Please... please save Princess Rosa!

(The knight kneels before Sephiroth.)

Knight: Now... Please talk... to the King....!!

(The king dances onto the stage, and Sephiroth turns to him.)

King: Oh... legendary hero, Alfred. You have come to save my beloved Rosa... On the peak of a dangerous mountain... dwells the Evil Dragon King, Valvados... who's kidnapped Princess Rosa... But... you can't beat the Evil Dragon King now! Talk to one who can help you.......

(A wizard dances onto the stage too. Sephiroth looks back and forth between him and the knight.)

Sephiroth: What do you take me for? I'm the legendary hero Alfred, I don't need help from the likes of these.

Narrator: (Hmmm, a little more spirit than we're used to...) So the legendary hero Alfred sets off on his own to rescue Princess Rosa! Oh what is going to happen next...! Oh... Legendary hero... look!

(A dragon swings onto stage, holding Cloud, who is dressed in a long red gown.)

Evil Dragon King: Gaaaaaaah! I am the Evil Dragon King... Valvados! I have not harmed the Princess... I have been expecting... you!

Cloud: Uhm... please help me, legendary hero! (I feel so stupid...)

Sephiroth: Fear not! I, the legendary hero Alfred, will save you!

Evil Dragon King: Gaaaaaah! Here I come, Legendary hero... Alfred! I already know... your name!

Sephiroth: A name is but a word! Do you truly think you have power over me? You will pay for your evil!

Narrator: (Argh, what a ham.) Oh, will the legendary hero Alfred have enough strength to rescue Princess Rosa himself?

Knight: (snicker... snicker... Princess!)

(Sephiroth draws his Masamune, and the knight falls silent.)

Wizard: Er, eh, uhm... Ahem! And now... Legendary Hero...! Here is what will happen... to your beloved....... A kiss! The power of True Love!!

Sephiroth: A kiss? Don't be stupid. My blade will suffice to save the lovely princess.

(Sephiroth runs the dragon through with the Masamune. Everyone gasps as the Evil Dragon King collapses in a heap of rags on the stage, leaving Cloud standing there unharmed.)

Cloud: Uhm... Sephiroth...

Sephiroth: Alfred!

Cloud: Don't you think that was a little... er..

Sephiroth: Extreme? Not to save my beloved Princess Rosa.

(The knight begins snickering again. Sephiroth turns to him and raises his Masamune. The knight stops instantly.)

Sephiroth: What did I tell you before about --

King: Oh... look! Love has... triumphed! Now let's all return... And celebrate.

(The wizard nods.)

Wizard: Yes let's... yes let's...!

(Everyone dances offstage)

Narrator: Oh, how profound the power of love... And so the legendary hero Alfred and our story live on happily ever after.

(Sephiroth and Cloud end up back at Station Square. Sephiroth throws his head back and laughs.)

Sephiroth: Ha ha.... You looked stunning in that red dress.

Cloud: You... always look fantastic.

(The two of them look at each other for a long while.)

Sephiroth: Let's go on the gondola.

(They go to Round Square, buy two tickets, and get on the gondola. The gondola takes off, with Sephiroth gazing out the window, and Cloud looking at Sephiroth.)

Sephiroth: Hmm... an impressive display.

(Cloud looks out the window, FMV of spotlights and roller coasters ensue.)

Sephiroth: Hmmph. Look at that, Cloud.

(Cloud looks out the window again, as they swoop past the chocobo races.)

Cloud: It's been a long time since I've seen you this way. (I wish I knew why...)

(Sephiroth turns away from the window to look at him.)

Sephiroth: ...?

(Cloud shakes his head and shrugs.)

Cloud: It's nothing.

(Cloud looks out the window again, to see fireworks exploding all around the gondola.)

Sephiroth: You know, the two of us could put on a better light show with our materia.

Cloud: ...Yeah.

Sephiroth: Or... we could make our own fireworks. What do you think? We could have our own private "Reunion", just the two of us.

Cloud: ..... Reunion.

(Sephiroth leans forward, towards Cloud.)

Sephiroth: What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?

(The screen flashes white.)

"I had so much respect for you... I admired you..."

(Flash)

Cloud: I.... when did I say....?!

Sephiroth: Cloud? Talk to me, Cloud.

(Another flash, and the high-pitched noise again. A second Cloud appears, superimposed over the real Cloud. The second Cloud leans forward, reaching out as if to touch Sephiroth's hair, then disappears.)

Cloud: Ugh..!

(Cloud clutches his head, and drops to the floor of the gondola. Sephiroth kneels next to him.)

Cloud: You... what did you do to me? I remember now!

Sephiroth: Cloud?

Cloud: Don't pretend you don't know! I remember Nibelheim burning... my mother... why am I here with her murderer? What did you do?!

(Sephiroth pauses, then stands.)

Sephiroth: I see you still don't understand. I didn't want to force you, Cloud. I...

Cloud: What?

(The scene changes to outside the gondola, where fireworks are going off all around.)

Sephiroth: I wanted you to join me of your own free will, Cloud.

Cloud: Never!

Sephiroth: What we once had was...

Cloud: Don't give me that - it went up in smoke, just like you burned my hometown!

Sephiroth: Cloud, I....

(Scene changes back to the inside of the gondola, where Cloud is still writhing on the floor in agony. The camera pans up, until we see that Sephiroth is no longer inside.)

(The gondola pulls into the station, and Cloud stumbles off of it past the ticket booth. Suddenly Aeris runs up to him.)

Aeris: Cloud! What is it, you look awful!

Cloud: ...Thanks.

Aeris: Where have you been? Riding the gondola all by yourself?

Cloud: ....Yeah. I think so.

(Aeris peers at him curiously.)

Aeris: You think so?

Cloud: Just drop it.

(Aeris joins Cloud, and the two return through Station Square... to see Cait Sith with the Keystone, etc, etc.)

Special thanks go out to Little Chiba for his FFVII script, which I ripped a lot of the play's lines from.