Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not neccessarily reflect those of the GIA. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot. Talking to Pikachu through my controller sounds like a real blast, let me tell you. Don't say that I didn't warn you.

Okay, I last left you with the following topic: which of the Konami rhythm games would you most like to see ported and released in North America? Coincidentally enough, here are your responses.

Suikoden II's soundtrack is separated into two volumes, so each does contain different tracks. That's pretty freaking chintzy, if you ask me, but that's the low-down.

Pieces of crap

I don't want any of those twinkle-toe rock-u-tainment peices of crap! Damn Japanese! -Lard Lad

It's fitting that I begin to address the current topic for discussion by responding to this letter. It's rather unfortunate in that it sums up the popular opinion regarding the rhythm game genre. Certainly, there were those who were less insulting and more articulate in expressing their thoughts on the matter, but when you intend upon refuting a the viewpoint held by the majority, it's always an wise maneuver to select the specimens which are most readily shot down and mocked, in a transparent attempt to make your argument seem more sound.

Okay, so I usually do choose the letters which I feel are most intelligent and persuasive to keep the discussion lively, but you know how much I dig mean-spirited jabs at entire genres and, in this particular case, cultures. It may seem insidious on my part, sure, but I could do worse things. For example, I could be the guy who has to come up with positive things to say about Acclaim's licensed titles on the back of their respective boxes. Of course, I would probably asphyxiate on the thick stench emanating from the vomit induced by my own sickening work. At least there's some form of justice in this universe.

At any rate, I find the cynical attitude being taken by the readers of this column to be rather ironic. It was but a few years ago that RPGs were considered nothing more than a niche market, played exclusively by strange and outlandish types. Didn't you feel rather indignant over the fact that so many would refuse to even give the RPG genre a fair shake, as they were too busy playing the the latest Madden, which featured an amazing 4 new plays and one extra move not found in last year's version? And yet, people will turn around and give the relatively new music genre the same kind of treatment that they once were angered by. I guess it's inevitable that you become what you most hate in time.

Look within yourself to find the answers you seek

Dance Dance Revolution. ... ...? What the hell kind of topic was that? Lazy bastard. ~Ian P.

The kind of topic that's inspired by a lack of sleep coupled with an uncreative mind, of course. Need you really ask?

This letter is sort of like a personality test. Depending upon how you choose to interpret it, it can either be seen as a sarcastic argument in favor of rhythm games, or a nearly incoherent argument against. I figure that since I personally cause you to misspend so much of your precious time, It's only fair that I allow you readers the same opportunity on the rare occasion. I'm sure you would have just wasted whatever time you spent reading this, anyhow.

Between coming up with sardonic replies to the lengthy epistles I receive and bitching about virtually everything that I perceive as having fault, I have my hands quite full. As a result, actual humor is often left by the wayside, only to dilapidate and rot into a rank and indistinguishable pulp. Fortunately, I have people such as Mister Parish here to provide the lighthearted fare which I am incapable of doling out.

I admire your choice to stay kosher, although there's not a doubt in my mind that the most would have derived further enjoyment from the continued descent into the inappropriate.

I certainly wouldn't mind if that were the case, although I doubt it will be. I suppose if the title or titles Konami does choose to send our way turn out to be a success, it would stand to reason that more would find their way to Western shores. I expect that the games will turn a moderate profit, unless Konami is willing to expend the cash necessary to blitz the nation's youth with a stream of persuasive television and magazine advertisements.

Simple enough. As is my reply.

It's kind of hard to come up with a witty reply to letters such as these. I suppose I could make it my prerogative to point out the fallacies in purchasing a game based solely on the title, but that would just be idiotic. It's quite apparent that this fellow is joking, and he's not talking about purchasing, just stating which he feels should be ported to the Western audience. I guess I have no choice but to move on.

Your logic takes me aback, good sir.

Closing Comments:

Okay, here's another brief but relatively open topic: what are your thoughts on Legend of Dragoon, from all that you've seen so far? Does it strike you as a sub-par jock off of Final Fantasy VII and VIII, or is it the three dimensional RPG that you've been waiting for all of this time? That's it. Go, write, be happy.

-Drew Cosner