A complete set - October 2, 1999 - Andrew Kaufmann
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this column are those of the participants and the moderator, and do not necessarily reflect those of the GIA. We pluck chickens for fun around here, and aren't afraid to do the same with your eyelashes. There is coarse language and potentially offensive material afoot.
Gather around the campfire kiddies, Uncle AK has a story to tell.
Once upon a time, there was a smarmy Canadian named Brian Glick. He was given
the nickname "Slick" because he needed a cool nickname, and how much cooler can
you get than "Slick" Glick?
One day, Slick got a new computer. It was heavy, so his parked his car near
the entrance to his home on a Canadian college campus in a bit of an out-of-the-way
nook of sorts. Slick had the intention of going right back to move his car into
a more traditional parking spot, a legal one, immediately afterwards.
Those that know Slick know that he would not even consider touching a computer that
was not made by the hands of Apple. As a rabid fan of Apple's products, Slick's
excitement at having a new Apple product in his room overwhelmed his brain and he
was forced to reject trivial information. Out went his mother's birthday, his
blood type, and the fact that he parked his car illegally with the windows down.
Two days later, during a driving rainstorm, Slick and a slick friend decided to
brave the elements and go out for some food. They went to the locale at which
Slick normally parked his automobile, only to not find it. Slick began to worry.
Slick searched. Slick began to worry more. Finally, deep within the recesses of
memories of peanut butter sandwiches at his elementary school cafeteria and of
the embarrassing time he wet his pants in 1st grade, it occurred to him that he
never got around to moving his car. The car that now had a rather damp interior
and a parking ticket attached to it.
Slick was lucky. The water will dry, and the parking ticket will be paid off. But
it could have been much worse. Don't be smarmy. Remember where you leave your car.
| The proverbial shaft |
|
Drew and faithful readers,
I am thoroughly disgusted and downright appalled.
I refer, of course, to the track listing for the FF Anthology CD. This is
quite possibly the most ridiculous decision on Square's part concerning this
title since the axing of Final Fantasy IV.
I would like to state for the record that I am not writing this letter out of
anger that my personal favorite songs didn't appear on the CD. As a matter
of fact, my personal favorite songs all made it on to the CD, despite the
fact that very few people actually voted for them. Now, THAT's my problem.
Squaresoft took a survey of its fans to determine their favorite songs,
ostensibly for the purpose of putting together a CD of those favorites. And
then they post the results on their site for all to see and proceed to
completely ignore them when deciding the final track listing.
Don't believe me? Here's the proof:
Here, from Square's website
(http://www.squaresoft.com/web/news/survey-results.html), are the survey
results, with percentages.
1. Favorite music track from FFV
Battle With Gilgamesh 49.7%
Ahead On Our Way 16.0%
The Decisive Battle 13.2%
Reina's Theme 7.1%
Dear Friends 3.1%
The Prelude 2.7%
The Final Battle 2.3%
The Unknown Land 2.2%
Opening 2.1%
Pirates Ahoy 1.5%
2. Favorite music track from FFVI
Terra 17.6%
Aria De Mezzo Carattere 17.2%
Dancing Mad 13.8%
Ending Theme 12.1%
Celes 11.8%
Kefka 8.4%
Forever Rachel 5.2%
Opening Theme 5.0%
Locke 4.8%
Shadow 4.0%
And here's the track listing for the CD:
· 01 - 2:36 - FFV Opening Theme
· 02 - 2:31 - The Dungeon
· 03 - 2:07 - We're Pirates
· 04 - 2:19 - City Theme
· 05 - 2:36 - Parting Sorrow
· 06 - 1:12 - Mambo De Chocobo
· 07 - 2:41 - Distant Homeland
· 08 - 1:50 - Music Box Memories
· 09 - 4:02 - To My Beloved Friend
· 10 - 3:19 - The Phantom Forest
· 11 - 2:49 - Phantom Train
· 12 - 2:19 - Wild West
· 13 - 2:44 - Kids Run Through The City
· 14 - 3:51 - Terra (World of Balance theme)
· 15 - 2:22 - Slam Shuffle
· 16 - 2:15 - Spinach Rag
· 17 - 2:56 - Johnny C Bad
· 18 - 1:57 - Mog
· 19 - 3:06 - Dark World
· 20 - 2:52 - Epitaph
· 21 - 2:34 - The Magic House
· 22 - 2:21 - The Prelude
See something amiss? You damn well should! Here are the percentages:
Number of songs that received an appreciable percentage of votes: 18*
Number of these songs that are on the CD: 5**
Percentage: 27.8%
Number of songs on the CD: 22
Number of these songs that were voted for: 5**
Percentage: 22.7%
*"Terra" and "Opening Theme" are counted as one song; same for "Ahead on Our
Way" and "Opening."
**"The Dungeon" on the CD might actually be "The Unknown Land," which was
voted for, bringing the percentages to a still-pitiful 33.3% and 27.3%
respectively.
Now, these numbers alone should tell the whole story, but there are quite a
few other things to consider before I get to my main point:
- Battle With Gilgamesh received nearly 50% of the vote, and yet it isn't on
the CD? How is this possible?
- Ditto Aria de Mezzo Carraterre. How did the soundtrack to one of the most
magical moments in RPG history - indeed, one prominently featured in the
game's new FMV sequences - get the shaft?
- 13.4% of the total tracks on the FFV OSV made it onto this CD, likewise
did 21.3% of the FFVI tracks. With such a small number of tracks making it
onto the CD, it's readily conceivable that Squaresoft could, by chance, pick
songs that people voted for without actually knowing the poll results.
- The ugliest part of this whole thing: This EXACT SAME LIST appeared at
the Final Fantasy Anthology Protest
(http://www.idsi.net/~azrael20/FFC/index.htm) on AUGUST 10th, two months ago
and TWO DAYS before the survey results went up.
My opinion? If this song list really is the final one (and considering how
FFA is set to ship in about four days, I'd say it is), then Squaresoft didn't
even bother incorporating the results of that survey into the decision. That
really, really pisses me off, and if you voted in this survey, it should piss
you off too.
Chris Kohler
|
First off, I'd like to extend some thanks to Chris for doing a lot of math for me.
I hate math. The track listing really is baffling. Battle with Gilgamesh is
mentioned more in the next letter, but how can songs like Aria de Mezzo
Carratere be left out? That song could be considered the centerpiece of FF6.
And how can there be no incarnation of the "main" FF theme (Bridge Theme in FF4,
appeared in V and VI's endings)? That song is one of the few remaining threads
that distinguishes Final Fantasy from other games.
If Square truly ignored the survey, which is quite possible, it's an insult
to have passed the survey off as one that could have an actual impact on the
track listing.
Assuming the track listing is final, Square has made yet another major public
relations blunder. They know how to make and sell great games, but you can
put me on the record as saying that Square has a remarkably inept public relations
department. In fact, I'd go as far as saying it is one of the most inept in the
industry. Perhaps the blame can't be placed on the public relations department, internally
at the company, but that's what appears to be the public. Yet another example
of the tenet that money moves bodies and makes decisions. No matter what's on
that soundtrack, the game will sell. Including the soundtrack was a good idea.
Too bad the execution of the idea has sucked so far.
| Yo, Square, what's
up? |
|
How ridiculous! How ludicrous! How insane! Square leaves out the greatest
battle theme of ALL TIME no the anthology music CD? WHY?? How could they not
put the Battle With Gilgamesh theme on it?? Answer me?! Why hath God forsaken
me???
-Dizzy Up the Dood
|
I can't answer that. I'm baffled by the choice. Obviously, I'm a big fan of
Gilgamesh's battle theme, officially titled "The Big Bridge" (the title doesn't
do it justice). See AV's and my
feature on the subject. I mean, what's up with putting Dark World (the
overworld in the World of Ruin of FF6) on, but not Battle with Gilgamesh? Dark
World is a decent mood setting song, assuming the mood you're looking for is
"bad and headache ridden." I'm not hip with Square's decision. I suggest
tactical nuclear missles.
On another note, I'm assuming your nickname is a nod to the Goo Goo Dolls' album
"Dizzy Up the Girl." I approve. I like that album, even though Iris is horribly
overplayed. I also really like track 6, whatever it's called. I can't remember.
It's late. Give me a break.
| Game, set, match |
|
Alot of people think that the Playstation2 is going to become a set top
box and fail. I don't think this is true. Every thing that is being
planned for the PS2 is to make it a better gaming machine. Take DVD
play back for example. Sony used DVD disc because they give the most
storage space, they then added a MPEG2 decoder so FMV would look
outstanding on the PS2. Now the PS2 had all the hardware to be a DVD
player. All Sony had to do was a an interface and PS2 was a DVD Player
and a game console. The cable modem and planned hard drive are the same
way. There're being added to enhance the gaming experance but there are
so many other uses for them. I truely belive if Sony thinks of Gaming
first on PS2 but is open to other uses for it. It might just become a
Set top Box that doesn't suck.
Evil Furby
|
I'm with you on this, Evil Furby (isn't that redundant?). I don't think
the PS2 is destined to fail. It
may be pricey, but DVDs are gaining major momentum and appear to be on the way
to becoming household items. I know of a lot of people that want one, and are
considering getting one. If the DVD player is also a state of the art video
game machine, that might just tip the scale enough for some people on the edge
between purchasing and not purchasing.
A big factor of course will be the price, which the next letter addresses...
| Is the price right? |
|
Dear Andrew,
I've noticed a lot of people complaining about PS2's price point being
"dangerously high". I don't see why people would think this. First of all,
it's the same price as the first PlayStation was. And remember, just
because it's $370 in Japan doesn't mean that's the price it will be over
here. It'll probably be about $300, just like PS1 was. Also, you've got to
look at what you're getting for the money. Packed in with the most powerful
gaming console on the planet, you get the dual shock 2 controller, a
high-capacity 8MB memory card, a demo disc and the usual a/v cables and
power cord or whatever. Add to that DVD movie capabilities, and I'd say
it's a pretty good deal. And as far as the PS2 being compared to 3D0 and
3Di as being too much of a "set-top box" and not a gaming console, you have
to remember one thing. The reason those consoles failed is not because they
could do everything, it's because they could do everything poorly. One look
at the games already confirmed for PS2 and we know the PS2 won't have any
problems producing high-quality games, atleast.
Oh, and one more thing. This has nothing to do with the rest of my letter,
but what the hell is the deal with Soul Calibur? I mean, this game was
basically just a pretty good fighting game in arcades, certainly never as
big as Tekken. But now, with the improved graphics it's been given for the
Dreamcast version, it's being hailed as the best fighting game ever made.
Am I the only gamer alive that still doesn't like Soul Calibur, flashy
graphics or not?
-The Lumberjack
|
On the subject of the price, I've heard a lot of different predictions. I think
the final price tag in the U.S. will depend on the market nearer to the time of
release. The price of DVD players, the price of the Dreamcast, and the projected price
of the Dolphin could all be factors in the final pricetag. Let's all hope for
something nice and small.
Soul Calibur is cool. One of the best console fighters, I'd say. Arcades are a separate world.
It's hard to say what game is *THE* absolute best. It's always a personal issue.
Let's just agree to call it good.
Speaking of lumberjacks, my roommate said I have the wardrobe of a lumberjack. I think
it's because I own a lot of flannel. Should I be insulted?
| Who? |
|
this is just interesting to know. there's this certain unnamed sites
for RPGAMERs. see? and they have this vote/toll thingy at the bottom
of the site. interestingly enough, it's one which asks for the most
irritating characters of various RPGs. I mean, it -could- have been
thought of independently of thegia's own feature. quite possible. then
again, considering both this site for RPGAMERs and thegia are
relatively popular, i don't think so.
anyway about the only thing about that vote which beats thegia's
feature is that there are more options. however, i don't even know who
3/4 of the offered options are. at least for thegia's feature, i voted
for jogurt, a character i don't even know. i just thought the
description was convincing. yup.
anyway, that's all.
|
Hmm. I'm not sure which site you're talking about. I'll assume we're referring
to a random page on Geocities. Our survey was a fun little timeout from the
serious business of gaming (I could never say that with a straight face in
person).
I don't think I'd go as far as saying the other site copied the GIA. Maybe they
found us inspiring? Or maybe it's coincidence? Or maybe they had been planning
the poll for a long time, and it got leaked to us and WE stole their idea?
Whichever it is, we take pride in trying to make sure our features are entertaining
and unique, and we believe that our survey was just that. What other sites do is
their business. Let's have some fun and play games.
| Don't make Rudy mad |
|
You ever wonder strange improbable things like 'What would happen if the
NYC Artshow Sensation and a video game got combined?'?. I do. Because I
like controversy. Vote Jack Lysias of the Controversial Party Today.
~Ian P.
|
Wicked idea, Ian. I'll get my staff of trained monkeys to start coding
ASAP.
Closing Comments
Tomorrow is Sunday. Then comes Monday.
-Andrew Kaufmann
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